And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
- Deuteronomy 6:5-9
I have entered into a season in my life that I know is a season ordained by God. I am experiencing a time in my life that I would have never expected for myself as a mom, which is difficult, but I am confident that God has allowed this time for a purpose.
I am going through a refining. God is molding and shaping me, preparing me for something great. I wholeheartedly believe that He has something planned for my life and though I cannot see the destination, it will absolutely be worth the crazy ride I have journeyed across over the past few years.
I will admit that several months ago I was devastated by my circumstances and walking around in total disbelief at what was taking place in my life. I can now confidently say, Thank you, God for the journey that You are taking me on.
As I have been pondering the story of the woman at the well lately, I have come to recognize that I had a great need for the Living Water of Christ in my life. For many years, I lived a life where my cup was not running over and I felt it. I was constantly walking around looking for what I needed to fill my cup and nothing in my life satisfied. My heart longed to follow Him but my heart was committed to five other loves that consumed every part of my heart, making it impossible to belong totally to Him. As I was a mom, my children consumed my attention, making it that much harder to really see what was lacking in my life. I spent so much time looking to family, friends, my children, activities, and possessions for approval and affirmation, but they were never enough, until one day, they were removed and my need was revealed.
I had gotten lost in the lies of “if I only had this or that, I’d be happy” until I realized they were just that, lies. Nothing could fill the empty places that were meant for Christ to fill. He was lacking fully from my life. I thought I knew who He was. I thought I knew Him personally. I thought I followed Him, but it was not until truth was revealed that I realized I did not KNOW Him. I did not realize that I had a deep thirst within my heart that nothing else could fill.
My heart needed satisfying by the only Source that could fill it completely and so Jesus began wooing me to Him. His Spirit drew me closer and He revealed my emptiness. An emptiness that could only be quenched by Him. I realized that this emptiness was drawing me to Him and I had a great longing to be filled with only Him. It was the realization that it was only His affirmation, approval, and acceptance that I truly needed and would truly complete me. It was realizing that until God’s love was enough for me, nothing else in this world truly mattered.
As a woman and mom, my heart’s greatest desire is to be the reflection of Christ to my children. I want to be the example they follow, and God is giving me that opportunity right now in my life. What a great calling!
My personal calling is to teach my children to love God above all else. My desire is for them to be so full of Christ that they too want nothing else. I want them to understand that God’s approval and love are the only approval and love that they should seek. I want them to think constantly about what He desires for their lives and for them to desire to live according to His word.
That is hard for children to do if they are not seeing that example lived out in front of them. If I want my children to love God as I love God, I have to be the example in my everyday experiences. I have to teach them to see God in every situation and circumstance so that they understand that God controls all things and has a purpose for every situation. If I want them to believe that God is faithful, then I must point out the times in our lives when He has provided and shown His faithfulness.
It is such a great responsibility, but it cannot be done if I am not drinking the Living Water every day of my life, and so God has given me that yearning. He has set before me a time in which I have nothing else to do but sit at His feet and marvel at His unconditional love. Why He has chosen me to experience such a great privilege, I will never know, but I will soak up every ounce of His love and pour it out on those who need Him as I do.