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Let Me Help You Become Rich

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Hello, my name is Filthy Rich and I became a multi millionaire by using a little known method of obtaining valuable property from idiots who were so stupid that they let me have their property for free or next to nothing.

I have homes in New York, London, Paris, Rome and Vail Colorado where I ski all day long unless I am having sex with one of the 200 beautiful women I keep around just to have fun when I’m not skiing. By the way I drive a Bentley on Mondays, a Rolls on Tuesday, a Ferrari on Wednesday, A Lamborghini on Thursday and a Hummer on Friday, Saturday and Sunday (I like the Hummer).

I travel between my homes in my private jet which I bought from a Saudi Prince who had to downsize. I am currently converting an Aircraft Carrier to use as my personal yacht (I got it for free from the U.S. Government as War Surplus) so I can land my plane on it and take my cars with me if I want to.

Now as you can see I lead a great life. I have all the money I will ever need. I have all the homes, planes, cars, and women I will ever need and I don’t have to work. But you know what, I didn’t feel fulfilled. There just seemed to be a void in my life. Something was missing. I just kept thinking about it, over and over, day after day, night after night.

Then I finally figured it out. I knew what I had to do in order to become a whole man. I had to share my wealth making secrets with you and you and you and you and, well, with everybody. I was being greedy. Why should I just sit back and live a life of luxury while everybody else was struggling to get by on their weekly paycheck at a job that they must hate. I had finally seen the light. I must share my secrets with the whole world.

So, this Saturday, at 2 p.m. at the Los Angeles Convention Center, I want you all to come hear my “Secrets to a Successful & Luxurious Life” Seminar. Don’t worry, the admission is free. You will be charged absolutely nothing. In fact we will serve Free Coffee and Cookies. But here is the best part. After the seminar you will be given the opportunity to purchase the entire seminar on either videotape or a boxed set of 3 DVDs.

In addition you will also receive my workbooks on how to become a multi-millionaire without doing a damn thing; how to buy luxurious homes for nothing; how to get the government to give you a free war surplus aircraft carrier or battleship; how to get a new car every week for life for free; and how to pick up Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads who actually want to be with you for who you are and not for your money!

How much is all this going to cost you ask? Well as I said the seminar is absolutely free. But if you decide that you like what you hear and you want to be rich like me, then you can purchase the entire package with either the video tapes or CDs plus the workbooks all for the amazingly low price of just $199. That’s right, just $199. And for the first 500 people to attend and purchase the materials you will be given a copy of my new book “How I Trumped Trump”. This book alone is worth $49.99. As an added bonus you will also receive a personalized signed photo of Bernie Ebbers.

Now for those of you are not able to make the seminar this Saturday to take advantage of this wonderful opportunity, we will repeat it at the following locations every Saturday at 2 p.m., forever: Anaheim, San Diego, Las Vegas, Phoenix, Tucson, Seattle, Portland, Boise, Honolulu, New York, Miami, Atlanta, Minneapolis, Chicago, Dallas, Houston, Oklahoma City, San Francisco and San Jose. Just watch your local newspapers for my seminar ads.

If you are homebound, without transportation, without money to travel to our seminars or have some other legitimate reason why you cannot attend in person, don’t worry. You can go on line to my web site and we will rush all the materials to you by Fed Ex, UPS or U.S. Mail. We accept Visa, Mastercard, American Express and Discover. (Sorry no C.O.D.’s). If by chance you don’t have a computer or access to the internet then please call our toll free hotline, 1- 800 – f i l t h y r i c h. Again all the same rules apply about shipping and credit cards. All phone or internet orders will carry a nominal shipping and handling fee of $19.99.

Still not convinced? Here are some testimonials of others who have attended my seminars and followed my advice to a luxurious life.

Martha from Martha’s Vineyard says: I attended a seminar with Filthy Rich and now I am!

O.J., formerly of Los Angeles and now living a life of luxury playing golf in Florida says: Just the book on how to pick up Blondes is worth the price. Wow, I’m telling you it really worked. I never had any trouble getting white women – er, I mean Blondes.

OK, are you convinced yet? You’re not one of those sceptics are you? You know, one of those people that says “Why would this guy want to share all that good information with me – he doesn’t even know me. He only wants to sell me his books and tapes or DVD’s; that’s how he makes his money”. Don’t listen to those kind of people. They are stuck in a job like Doctor, Lawyer, Accountant, Policeman, Truckdriver, Waitress etc. You know the type. They will always have to work for a living and never recognize a good opportunity even if it smacked them right in the head.

I want you to be just as rich as I am and I want you to enjoy all the luxuries of life that I enjoy. I want to share my secrets of success with YOU! So don’t forget to come to my seminar or go on line or call for the materials I have prepared just for you! Also don’t forget your Cash or Credit Card (sorry no checks). Your Friend, Filthy Rich!

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About A Decent Person

  • Felicia Angel

    I would like to know if you are sooo wealthy rich why do you have to charge to have someone know what you do to acually suceed in life when they have ABSOLUTLY nothing to give and want a life to lead they have to apy someone who already has milions of dollars??

  • nick sat

    Obviously, Felicia Angel missed the part of the article, written clearly at the top and beginning of it, that read “Satire.” The article isn’t real. It’s a joke. Read a book, little girl, at least the dictionary.

  • asia

    u r having sex you crusty thang youre not sopossed o say dat