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Lesbians or Male Fantasy-Objects?

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Movies like ‘She Hate Me’ pander to the ultimate male fantasies of a single man making eighteen lesbians have heart-pounding orgasms, and in the end getting to play house with two sultry lesbians. While the movie was funny it did raise my hackles. (It had other themes of course, not relevant to this discussion)

Men in general, think that being a lesbian is a hot thing, watching two women grinding their pelvic bones with strap-ons to be erotic or thrusting their clits against each other would lead to heaving climax.

Serials like ‘The L Word’ also encourage these false perceptions. In the last scene of one of the episodes in Season 1, a cat fight leads to clothes-ripping hot sex. Ah! Here was another male fantasy being played out and the icing on the cake would have been a mud fight.

The scene couldn’t be further than the truth. What I hadn’t mentioned is the reason for the fight which involved the discovery of infidelity. No one whether straight or a gay would have sex with a cheating spouse on the very night of discovery. The more typical reaction would be to throw the wayward partner out of the house and spend lots of tear drenched bad hair days before any kind of contact would be made.

This scene was more a pitch to male fantasies than a true lover’s tiff. While trying to make the scene passionate, the script-writers make the sizzling hot lesbian throw her hysterical lover on the bed, rip her dress and while kissing her all over, make her cum hard and fast. Phew! That scene would make even a ninety year old man feel his meat but for me, a heterosexual woman, it did nothing and I can only guess that it wouldn’t do anything for a lesbian either, at least objectively.

Another reason why I didn’t like this show was that all, and I mean all the babes in it are centerfold material with cherry-topped perky breasts that are shown once if not twice in every episode. It makes Bay Watch seem like Sesame Street.

Western media has promoted the myth that lesbians would love to have sex with a man. Get real – that fantasy can only hold true in Bunny Ranch but not in real life. Lesbians, even those that suffer from Pork Envy and dress like men wouldn’t want to feel the good old poke even for a minute. That is the bottom line of being gay. But hey it doesn’t hurt to wish for the unbelievable now does it? Just like wishing one’s snoring wife would be magically transformed into a freshly shaved Playboy bunny. Yup, it doesn’t hurt anyone to fantasize.

As Judith Daniels says in the “Lesbian Couples Guide”,

“…it is rare that lesbians ever see our own lust or passion reflected back to us in films, books, television. We are inundated with images of heterosexual sexuality. The occasional lesbian we do encounter in the media is a twisted, psychotic killer, or a male heterosexual’s pornographic fantasy”

So why do my hackles rise? Well, what holds good for the gander seems to hold good for the goose as most women (moi included) would rather watch lesbian porn with their men than a video with two men slurping each other. It just isn’t fair.

About Deepti Lamba

  • 4Q2

    Eric B asked….4Q2 – That’s brilliant. Where’d you get your degree from again?

    Which one would you like to know more about?

  • Aaman

    Education does not a wise man a fool make

  • Eric Berlin

    You’re obviously quite learned, so I was hoping you’d share the institution(s) in which you acquired your expertise.

  • 4Q2

    Aaman wrote….Education does not a wise man a fool make

    Gee aaman you have a wonderful way with words.


    Thank you for the compliment. I can see you have deferred to my posts. It is probable the only sensible thing you’ve done all day.

    Did you and AAman go to the same kindergarten?

  • Eric Berlin

    I would have been been happy to have had Aaman as a classmate.

  • Aaman

    4Q2/Smegma/whatever – back to the topic at hand – please explain why your points should be considered valid – cite scientific research rather than your own opinion or experience, please

    Thank you for the compliment as to my writing/schooling

  • 4Q2

    Aaman-practice what you preach…eh?

  • Silas Kain

    4Q2 states; “You see, there are two things that promote female homosexuality. First-all men have a low tolerance for fugly women. Even the most un-attractive male has his standards and they don’t include fugly women. Second-most women in our society view themselves as being unattractive and also have low self esteem. They are constantly worrying about the size of their asses or breasts. They feel in their heart of hearts that they are not worthy of male attention. That’s where lesbianism comes in. Fugly women don’t feel the need to judge another woman’s looks. They just accept the fact that they may never get the chance to be with a man (again) and so they pursue the only other alternative available.”

    THAT is the most lame theory I have ever heard. Dude, you are a reasonable argument for lesbianism and male heterosexuality. Judging from the approach you have taken toward women one may question your sexuality. Are you sure you are not one of those self loathing gays?

  • Tristan

    WHY do people tend to argue back and forth—-
    instead of trying to “work together” to further all of us—

    is there something to be “won” by being “right” …. as in “who has the better verbal and/or writing ability” —

    do some people think that if you can badger and cower another through your writing “ability” —that you are a “better person” — ????

    this seems sad to me that we all have so much ability and talent given to us–to “waste it” fighting each other~~~

    when we join forces and work “together” —miracles can occur.

  • Victor Plenty

    Women are sexy. Men are not. (In mainstream Western culture, that is. I make no claim of universal truth on this.)

    Look at the feature photographs and advertising in the most prominent magazines sold to men, and you will find images of attractive women.

    Look at the most prominent magazines sold to women and you will also find images of attractive women.

    Look at television ads for women’s shampoo and you will see attractive women loudly faking orgasms, mimicking a famous scene from an extremely popular comedy movie.

    Look at the history of psychotherapy, and you will find a tremendous concern with the disorder called “frigidity,” in which a woman has difficulty enjoying sexual intercourse. This was worrisome because even back in the Victorian era, many, many men measured their manliness not by their ability to experience orgasm (which is quite easy for a man to do, at least when he is young) but by their ability to induce orgasm in a woman.

    These things show, along with many other examples, how our culture places women at the center and focus of sexuality. Whenever we think about sex, we are thinking about women, and whenever we think about women, we are thinking about sex. This is extremely true for men’s thought processes, and only slightly less so for women’s.

    Knowing this about our culture, it makes perfect sense that most mainstream males, and a number of female viewers, find gay porn extremely unarousing or even offensive. They are not necessarily against gays as such, but they are unable to respond sexually to material without any images of women in it.

    Heterosexual porn is usefully arousing to the mainstream viewer, if it focuses on the images of women. Too much focus on male imagery leads many mainstream viewers to fast-forward or turn the page.

    The ideal pornography for many viewers is porn with no men at all, which the mainstream calls “lesbian” porn. But such material is never an attempt to portray the sex lives of real-life lesbians. It is merely heterosexual sex, with the men edited out to prevent the viewers’ getting distracted from the images of the women.

    The mainstream craves such images of women in hetero sex acts with other women because our culture trains us to see this as the essence of sexuality. It is sexuality refined, purified, concentrated. At least in our culture.

    To summarize all this: Hetero porn is like snorting the drug. Lesbian porn is like injecting the drug directly into your veins.

    That’s how it seems to me, at any rate.

    Disclaimer: My conclusions are almost certainly flawed in many important ways. They are based primarily on what I have read about other people’s opinions on the subject, because of course, I personally have never looked at any pornographic materials of any kind.

    But the ideas might still be useful to somebody, so here they are.


  • Scott

    I have not one, but two sets of lesbian neighbors. They’re very kind.

  • Eric Olsen

    fascinating insight Victor – makes a lot of sense. My reaction to such things is still that it’s none of my business what women do and my interest is nil. I harbor no illusions that they are doing anything for my benefit or that they have any interest in me one way or the other. I’m not real big on self-delusion

  • Penelope

    i can’t find true reality type stuff—-all i see are hollywood types. if you have some links let meknow. i’m really looking for sites like this —