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Last-minute Election Plea from Bush to Osama Bin Laden Discovered

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Dear Osama Bin Laden:

My party is going to lose the election and they’re all going to say it’s my fault because of the Iraq War and because the Shiites and Sunnis are so unbipartisan.

You owe me, Osama. I haven’t been trying to catch you for five years now. In fact, I closed down the CIA operation in charge of catching you.

So please do something. A dirty bomb, a video, a message — anything to scare the American people into voting for me again.

If you do, I promise to keep on doing nothing to catch you. I have always needed you un-caught so I could use terrorism as my big –- and now only — election platform.

But you’ve got to play fair with me yourself. You need me, too. Who else is going to play into your hands and make enemies for America everywhere, so you always come out on top in the propaganda war? Who else is going to let you win the war on terror? Not any Democrat. Only I, George W. Bush, have the ability to keep you alive and winning the battle for the hearts and minds of Muslims all over the world.

You can’t let me down this time, because I have never let you down.

Strike. Now. Please. There’s only one day to go.

Your partner in terror,
George Bush.

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About Adam Ash

  • JustOneMan

    Adam…Fox just announced that Bush will reveal before the poll close where Jimmy Hoffa is buried and the cure for cancer!

    Do you believe this guy!

    From The Left JustOneMan

  • Dr. Kurt

    Osama is sitting next to a swimming pool in Texas drinking a margarita; Bush wouldn’t have any problem getting in touch with him!

  • Nancy

    LOL, all he’s gotta do is check out his good buddies the Saudi Royals; they’re probably the one’s putting bin Laden up in their private TX compound!

  • Matt

    Shame it is so lame. Bill Clinton didn’t take terrorism seriously as President, he still doesn’t, as he was joking about it this weekend. It was John Kerry who said that “the threat of terrorism is overstated” in 2004…tell that to the victims in New York, London, Madrid and Iraq. It was Howard Dean who called for “rethinking civil liberties” after 9/11.

    The Republicans will hold the Senate, maybe even gain a seat and will probably hold the House.

  • Dr. Kurt

    Lighten up, Francis.

  • Martin Lav

    The lack of any terrorist threat right now, helps Dubya. Keeps people’s minds off the catastrophe that he’s perpetuated and helps to show his taking the fight to the terrorists keeps them there instead of here.
    This war on terrorism is the best thing going since FDR allowing the Japanese to strike Hawaii.

  • Pedro

    Take it from a conservative…looks like this is just a way for you to accept Bush being elected – because you don’t get it. Don’t misunderestimate us.

  • Martin Lav

    “misunderestimated”

    Is this George Bush pretending to be Pedro?

  • http://thatgayconservative2.blogspot.com/ ThatGayConservative

    anything to scare the American people into voting for me again.

    Bush was running? He wasn’t on my ballot.

    Douchebag!

  • Wow…

    Talk about a botched joke.

  • alaziz_mohhammed

    mr.ash
    i see you are very smart man, please join us in the destruction of america, we shall rid the world of the fools like this Bush, the infidel leader!!