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Lamest Super Bowl Ever

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I’ve watched many Super Bowl broadcasts over the years, and I have to say that this one was easily the least interesting. The NFL has regained the rights to use the moniker No Fun League.

It was the lamest close championship game I’ve ever seen, in any sport. New England is positively masterful in allowing a game to look close on the scoreboard without the oppostion, or any viewer, ever believing that a comeback is possible. There was no tension whatsoever, at any point during the game. Even when the Eagles had the lead, it felt like they were trailing.

Sure, 90% of the City of Philadelphia is crabbing today about clock management, and there was an onside kick late in the game, but even that was lame and without suspense, as the Pats recovered easily.

The commercials were the least entertaining in the time I’ve been aware of Super Bowl advertizing as a phenomenon. Only once did I laugh out loud- at the Ameriquest spot with the guy holding the cat in one hand, the knife in the other, and the red sauce on the cat and the floor. Not once did I go, “Ooh! Wow! Cool!” in response to animation, concept, or even hot young women.

In the desire to avoid repetition of the Janet Jackson-Justin Timberlake incident from last year, the Super Bowl chose Paul McCartney to perform. Amazing. In the ’60s, the Beatles were the fore of the counter culture, unpredictable and daring. Today, McCartney is safe as milk, predictable and boring.

The Fox broadcast team of Buck, Collinsworth, and Aikman make a graduate course in statistics seem exciting. The commentary might have been more stimulating had Richard Wright delivered it. Alas, only adding Pat Summerall could have made the team more dull.

Fox Sports called the game officiating the worst ever. Funny, I missed that in all the dullness.

That’s four hours of my life I’ll never get back. At least I got the laundry done.

You can’t even hate the Patriots’ dynasty, due to the austere, team-oriented nature of all involved. These aren’t the evil Yankees or even the juvenile Red Sox. You almost want Tom Brady to brag that he’s never lost a playoff game. It ain’t braggin’, after all- he’s done it.

Way to go, NFL.

While surfing to get past the tedium, I found the most innovative use of lost time by a TV network: Discover Channel featured Animal Planet, and aired something during the game called the Puppy Bowl. It was merely a playpen for about 8 puppies, with six different cameras. The puppies played, and a different camera angle was shown about every 10 seconds or so. It was cute and cheap to produce, and probably was a good return on the mininscule investment for the network.

This item appeared in shoddier form on my blog, Kole Hard Facts of Life

About Mike Kole