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Kelly Osbourne duet with Ozzy: Changes

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I just listened to Ozzy and Kelly Osbourne covering Black Sabbath’s Changes via Rhapsody and, as I feared, the song totally blows. At least if Weird Al had covered this we would have been able to laugh along but this isn’t a parody, it’s a serious effort.

Changes, indeed: changing up the lyrics to be like Kelly has left the proverbial nest complete with some overly-sentimental father/daughter song, instead of using the original, powerful melancholy words.

I love you daddy,
but I’ve found my way

you know the world
is an evil place

my baby’s grown now
she’s found her way

Why mess with the lyrics and intention of the song unless it really was a parody? Don’t ask Ozzy, who is undergoing treatment for a tremor condition and has cancelled his remaining tour dates for the year. Kelly previously had already bowed out of her tour dates citing “illness” and forgive me for offering the possibility that she became ill listening to her own music.

Black Sabbath Volume 4 is a classic and no amount of horrible covers by anybody in the Osbourne camp will take this away, however this level of song abuse comes eerily close. I thought what happened with Ozzy’s solo career after Randy died was disappointing, and then The Osbournes TV show was clearly a publicity stunt turned fad that faded quickly after season one. I’ll admit that I was there glued in for the first season, but the whole routine of let’s swear like sailors, make fun of Ozzy unable to operate a remote, have pets defecating all over the house, and watch Jack and Kelly fight grew tired quickly with not just me. Add me to the group of fans of Black Sabbath and early Ozzy wondering: what about the music?

Also not good about this hatchet Changes version is that they put some B-grade choir in for backing vocals. Sabbath isn’t Sunday sermon material, what kind of awful music idea is this for a serious musical offering? And what about using a real piano in the song? Surely they wouldn’t axe the use of a real piano for some poorly mixed, fake sounding digitized piano keyboard, would they? Talk about sabotage.

Really, it’s a terrible cover. No, not terrible, that’s too nice, it’s horrible. A marginally good version of Changes could have been the only compelling reason to drop the $15.99 for what is mostly a rehash of Kelly’s feebly selling Shut Up songs, but thanks to Rhapsody you can take the 14 day free trial and hear it without any financial obligation. There are a couple bonus live versions of Shut Up songs on the titled Changes CD released on the Sanctuary label. Unfortunately, there isn’t much sanctuary in the cuts on this CD.

And so the revised chorus pathetically whines: We’re going through changes and even Sabbath-bashers like this cursed blogcritic will be surprised by this attrocity. Or maybe listeners will be contemplating using this wailing drivel to summon fellow Sabbath fans from the dead. Please, somebody get me that Born To Be Wild with Miss Piggy and Ozzy ripped from the Muppet Show or maybe even the bat-munching madman covering Staying Alive by the Bee Gees.

Nepotism aside, the Ozzman should have gone for an older Lita Ford instead of pairing up with his daughter. At least with the song Close My Eyes Forever there was musical chemistry between those two, but with daughter Kelly there is zero. Kelly should literally Shut Up with her music profession right now and head for modeling or designer clothes career. She’s produced a couple largely forgettable songs, notably the cover of Madonna’s Papa Don’t Preach, but the rest of her material has been reject Osbournes family album CD content or DVD extras filler. Sony should be elated that they don’t have their name on this one. Grade: F

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About TDavid

  • TDavid

    Phillip: tried to add ASIN codes (B0000C52FV,B000002KE2,B00005JLBW,B0000A2ZSN) for this and was getting Perl errors all over the place, just FYI.

  • Phillip Winn

    Indeed, there appears to be a serious problem of some sort right now, possibly with Amazon’s web services, or possibly not. Unfortunately, I am unable to determine that at this time, but um, keep those ASINs handy!

  • Eric Olsen

    Added in okay – Phillip, we also have problems with posters being kicked back to the log-in after they save. I thought it was old cookie but Mark Saleski for example has cleared his and is still having the problem.

    Also, recent comments are showing up on the front page but not on the original post unless I rebuild – please don’t tell me we’re having capacity problems again.

    Please poke around and see what you can find.

  • Mark Saleski

    not only did i clear out my cookies but i went in and used “Evil Bill IE” instead of Mozilla…and the post still got screwed up.

  • Phillip Winn

    I use a client posting tool for posting stories (Zempt for Windows or Kung-Log for OSX), so I definitely haven’t seen this. I did test it this morning, but I was able to post okay.

    WHen you cleared cookies, did you check for both and

  • Mark Saleski

    i cleared ’em ALL…just to be sure.

  • TDavid

    Hmm, I wonder if it’s too much to ask to get comments from somebody who actually read this review LOL. The ASIN numbers are there whenever Amazon gets their program patched.

  • Phillip Winn

    TDavid, yes. 😉

  • TDavid

    update: Grayed out mystery!

    Strangely, I noticed this morning when turning on Rhapsody that on my saved artist listing Kelly Osbourne was inexplicably grayed out and unavailable for playing. When I went and reviewed Kelly’s listing all traces of her new CD, Changes [ENHANCED] are grayed out in my artist listing and the CD listing inside Rhapsody complete with album artwork is just … gone. No explanation, nothing. Weird. Wonder what happened?

    Good news for those who are still curious what this track sounds like is that you can now listen to the track Changes at Kelly’s website by following this URL (be sure to turn off other music as it is auto-play):

    So I wonder if the Osbourne camp saw my review here at Blogcritics (we were joking around over here, weren’t we, about people stopping by leaving notes to Sharon Osbourne?) or some of the other reviews out there and yanked the ability to listen to it through Rhapsody. Nah, I’m not a conspiracy theorist so put down the phone call to Oliver Stone. It is intriguing though, isn’t it?

    [note: most of this was taken from this morning’s blog entry which contains a a screenshot]

  • ed

    dont’ forget the other atrocity, that it was obviously lip synched… good God, they really turned ozzy into a wanker didn’t they?

    (By “they” I mean Sharon and Kelly)

  • TDavid

    Speaking of Sabbath … Ozzy got his first ever number one single in the UK with the remake of Changes with daughter Kelly. How’s that for a an ATV accident recovery / Christmas present?

    Personally, I still don’t like the Kelly-fied version of the song, but obviously a lot of people over the pond do.

    The ever-pessimistic critic Simon Cowell of American Idol fame made the prediction that the ATV accident would help the sales of the single and it appears he was right.

  • TDavid

    You are right, Ed, they did lip-synch that song on Sharon’s show. I never would have though Ozzy would rip a page from ZZ Top.

  • simm

    Kelly wouldn’t even be allowed 100 ft from a recording studio if her dad wasn’t Ozzy. It shows you what marketing can do in place of talent. If you’re going to lip sync, at least pick up a guitar and act like you can play it too. And quit trying to be cindy loper…she sucked too mind you

  • TDavid

    I agree, simm, except that Cyndi Lauper didn’t totally suck. She did have at least one halfway-decent album (“money changes everything”, “time after time” were good songs from that album). Kelly Osbourne’s claim to fame — at least so far — is her remake of somebody else’s (Madonna) song.

    The Osbournes are what made her recording career, but then you are also right that without Ozzy there wouldn’t have been any Osbournes reality show.

    That #1 hit though … wow, that’s something that shows there is still a lot of interest in these folks.

    Kelly Osbourne’s music career has shades of Quiet Riot remaking Slade songs (“cum on feel the noise”), although Riot also had some other popular songs of their own (“Metal Health”).

  • Eric Olsen

    I think she’s a fat little obnoxious troll – I’ll bet Ozzy does too.

  • Eric Olsen

    By the way, I wonder if my daughter – who is a vastly better singer, infinitely more charming, and better looking as if she were a different species than Kelly – hates me for not being Ozzy Osbourne so that she too could cavort about and play at a music career instead of having to go to college and make something of herself on her own.

  • Bill Sherman

    And let me jump in with a second defense of Cindy Lauper, whose She’s So Unusual album is a close-to-perfect pop-rock album (can’t forget “She Bop”!) – and whose later Sisters of Avalon is unjustly overlooked.

    As for Kelly O., she’s fair game, far as I’m concerned. . .

  • Eric Olsen

    Cindi is a huge talent who really only connected on the one classic album, which has basically no holes. “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” is one of the greatest songs of the ’80s.

  • duane

    Yeah, Cyndi has talent. Besides that, there’s intelligence beneath that girlish veneer. Very nice combination. Kelly’s best attribute is her Daddy.

  • Carmen Jones

    well i am 11 years old and i always watch the osborns and i want to tell u waht i want for christmas ( i know u can not send me annny thing but please read this)
    dear santa,
    i have been a good girl and this year for christmas i want some dvd’s the hole year of roseann,i want tony hawlks ynderground,the new spryo,and some more ps2 games,a dell,i want some computer games,i want kelly osbourns Changes for me and my sis,and i want some surpises,a new gun ( a paint ball gun) more knives a drum set some shirts some more flaired jeans some toys a new trampoline,a new 4-wheeler and a dirt bike,a back pack a new binder,some stuff for all of my relatives,i want my mom to have a nice ring,i want dad to have those 2 guns he has wanted i want granny to havesome stuff to go with her carpet cleaner i want grandaddy to have some hunting stuff i want my sis to have jacket like i have , i want Chris to have Indiana Jones box set, i want a new cd player,i wantmy favorit cuzzin to have a electric scooter,i want some stuff to go with my hermite crabs,i want grandaddy to have a colly dog,some stuff for my dog and Wendy,jack,links,ginger and little man ( our horses)and jesse my grandaddys dog to have some stuff,i want a sighned pic of Ozzy,some tickes to ozzy fest,and some more stuff that has to do with the osboruns, and i want a 2 way dog kental for my dog but most of all I WANT OZZY TO GET BETTA AND NOT DIE cause i love their show.if yall can e-mail me.
    P.S I love you ozzy!!!!!

  • safiri

    Hello. I´m not a Osbournes fun but i do like the MTV Ousborne Show and then, watching the videoclip Changes i’ve got really touched. I think ur critics r real good, by the way, you write very well, but the must important thing to me ins’t always what have quality but what can touch me – in a good way – by someway or other. I admire the love this Osbournes Family have and this video is really beautifull. That’s it!
    oh, before i forget, sorry about my english, i´m just a brazilian woman.

  • rawpat

    I just want to write and tell Ozzy rocks I watch Sharon’s show all the chances I get and just by chance I saw the duet between Ozzy and Kelly Changes so I was so impressed that I went all over Perth Western Australia and was told by some people that it has never been released in Australia PLEASE PLEASE Ozzy or Kelly could you send me a copy I will gladly pay for it its fantastic I am in the same situation as both Sharon and Ozzy with growing up children and we all love the song I think it sounds fantastic and am beside myself because I can not get it Luckly I tape what I could but missed the start so its not just the young who like Ozzy and kelly and of course Sharon who is so like me and I love her down to earth there is nothing faulty about you sweetheart all the best in the new year and hope Ozzy gets well soon lots of love always a fan Pat

  • Mikey

    Sorry, has enyone an idea where do I can find the video of OZZY ft KELLY OSBOURNE – CHANGES? I am looking for these video for am week and I can’t find it. Has enyone an ideea? Ps sorry for my bad english I am from romania.

  • Danielle

    Well, I think that all you people who keep talking about how bad the new version of changes is featuring Kelly are probably washed up old metal heads. I guess it just takes a little bit better person to realize that music is a reflection of the person singing it. Ozzy is a family man now and getting up there in age. Maybe you are still living in the eighties, but im glad to see the Osbournes are making an effort to be part of the new millenium. Wont you join us?

  • http://spanner jade

    is was shit i cant get it on

  • http://spanner jade

    i cant get it on so it was s*h*i*t