I just listened to Ozzy and Kelly Osbourne covering Black Sabbath’s Changes via Rhapsody and, as I feared, the song totally blows. At least if Weird Al had covered this we would have been able to laugh along but this isn’t a parody, it’s a serious effort.
Changes, indeed: changing up the lyrics to be like Kelly has left the proverbial nest complete with some overly-sentimental father/daughter song, instead of using the original, powerful melancholy words.
I love you daddy,
but I’ve found my way
you know the world
is an evil place
my baby’s grown now
she’s found her way
Why mess with the lyrics and intention of the song unless it really was a parody? Don’t ask Ozzy, who is undergoing treatment for a tremor condition and has cancelled his remaining tour dates for the year. Kelly previously had already bowed out of her tour dates citing “illness” and forgive me for offering the possibility that she became ill listening to her own music.
Black Sabbath Volume 4 is a classic and no amount of horrible covers by anybody in the Osbourne camp will take this away, however this level of song abuse comes eerily close. I thought what happened with Ozzy’s solo career after Randy died was disappointing, and then The Osbournes TV show was clearly a publicity stunt turned fad that faded quickly after season one. I’ll admit that I was there glued in for the first season, but the whole routine of let’s swear like sailors, make fun of Ozzy unable to operate a remote, have pets defecating all over the house, and watch Jack and Kelly fight grew tired quickly with not just me. Add me to the group of fans of Black Sabbath and early Ozzy wondering: what about the music?
Also not good about this hatchet Changes version is that they put some B-grade choir in for backing vocals. Sabbath isn’t Sunday sermon material, what kind of awful music idea is this for a serious musical offering? And what about using a real piano in the song? Surely they wouldn’t axe the use of a real piano for some poorly mixed, fake sounding digitized piano keyboard, would they? Talk about sabotage.
Really, it’s a terrible cover. No, not terrible, that’s too nice, it’s horrible. A marginally good version of Changes could have been the only compelling reason to drop the $15.99 for what is mostly a rehash of Kelly’s feebly selling Shut Up songs, but thanks to Rhapsody you can take the 14 day free trial and hear it without any financial obligation. There are a couple bonus live versions of Shut Up songs on the titled Changes CD released on the Sanctuary label. Unfortunately, there isn’t much sanctuary in the cuts on this CD.
And so the revised chorus pathetically whines: We’re going through changes and even Sabbath-bashers like this cursed blogcritic will be surprised by this attrocity. Or maybe listeners will be contemplating using this wailing drivel to summon fellow Sabbath fans from the dead. Please, somebody get me that Born To Be Wild with Miss Piggy and Ozzy ripped from the Muppet Show or maybe even the bat-munching madman covering Staying Alive by the Bee Gees.
Nepotism aside, the Ozzman should have gone for an older Lita Ford instead of pairing up with his daughter. At least with the song Close My Eyes Forever there was musical chemistry between those two, but with daughter Kelly there is zero. Kelly should literally Shut Up with her music profession right now and head for modeling or designer clothes career. She’s produced a couple largely forgettable songs, notably the cover of Madonna’s Papa Don’t Preach, but the rest of her material has been reject Osbournes family album CD content or DVD extras filler. Sony should be elated that they don’t have their name on this one. Grade: F