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Keith Richards Whiffs Dad, Lives to Snort Again

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Keith Richards, swashbuckling guitarist and songwriter for the most iconic (and successful) rock ‘n’ roll band in World History, brain-bonked tree climber, dogged substance utilizer, and devilish raconteur extraordinaire, may have topped himself this time.

In an interview published today in Britain’s NME, Richards — 63, but who’s counting — admitted that he whiffed up a bit of dear old dad, Bert, after he died at 84 in 2002.

Inspired by wistful nostalgia, filial piety, and cackling perversity, the Rolling Stones ax-man said he “couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow,” after Bert was cremated. “My dad wouldn’t have cared,” he said. “It went down pretty well, and I’m still alive.”

True, dead men snort no dads. The psychological, not to mention hygienic, ramifications are daunting.

Keith also let it be known that he does not see himself as a role model, other than in the sense that he is not nearly as dead as he is supposed to be. “I did it because that was the way I did it. Now people think it’s a way of life,” he mused.

“I’ve no pretensions about immortality,” he added sensibly. “I’m the same as everyone … just kind of lucky,” he said with winning modesty.

Richards will be appearing as Johnny Depp’s piratical father in the much anticipated May 25 release of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, the third installment in the vastly successful Pirates trilogy.


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About Eric Olsen

Career media professional and serial entrepreneur Eric Olsen flung himself into the paranormal world in 2012, creating the America's Most Haunted brand and co-authoring the award-winning America's Most Haunted book, published by Berkley/Penguin in Sept, 2014. Olsen is co-host of the nationally syndicated broadcast and Internet radio talk show After Hours AM; his entertaining and informative America's Most Haunted website and social media outlets are must-reads: Twitter@amhaunted, Facebook.com/amhaunted, Pinterest America's Most Haunted. Olsen is also guitarist/singer for popular and wildly eclectic Cleveland cover band The Props.
  • The return of EO, and a triumph! A brilliant and brief tribute to an oddballian and (in)famous fan of (human) nose candy!

  • Eric Olsen

    thanks EB, not sure about the “triumph” but it was fun and quick – Lisa challenged me

  • And of course you rose to the challenge beautifully — I remembered how funny your take on the coconut tree incidence was, and Keith is nothing if not fodder for a good story.

    This was one of those “spew coffee on the monitor” stories for me — seems almost incestuous in some vague, necrophiliac sorta way, doesn’t it?

  • Eric Olsen

    ah, you’re sweet – it seems vaguely cannibalistic, incestuous, necro, oedipal, and other troubled things beyond my ken. Now his manager is saying it was just a joke – hmm.