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Keith Richards’ Spokesman: “April Fools” – Stones Announce Summer European Tour

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So was it really a “joke” when Keith Richards told NME in an interview published yesterday that he had inhaled his cremated father in 2002? Or was the heat so hot that a retraction was prudent regardless of the olfactory reality?

Today, Stones spokesman Bernard Doherty of LD Communications, said in a statement that “It was an off-the-cuff remark, a joke, and it is not true. File under April Fool’s joke.” Doherty was tight-lipped about why the staggering Stone would make such a peculiar declaration in the first place.

Keith Cracking “The strangest thing I’ve tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father,” Keith was quoted by NME. “He was cremated and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn’t have cared … It went down pretty well, and I’m still alive.”

Whether this disconcerting act happened in Keith’s mind or in reality, the very notion is fraught with a cesspool of oedipal/Freudian/necrophagous threads whirling around in a brain that has a date with Science whenever its owner takes his leave from this mortal coil.

In an disturbingly fitting way, Richards will be appearing as Johnny Depp’s piratical father in the much anticipated May 25 release of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, the final of the Pirates trilogy.

In other recent Stones phenomena, the wrinkly rockers released a schedule of over 20 dates for their summer Bigger Bang Tour of Europe, including a first-ever stop at the UK’s legendary Isle of Wight Festival:

05 Jun 2007 Werchter BE Werchter Park
08 Jun 2007 Nijmegen NL Goffertpark
10 Jun 2007 Newport GB Isle of Wight Festival
13 Jun 2007 Frankfurt DE Commerzbank
16 Jun 2007 Paris FR Stade de France
18 Jun 2007 Lyon FR Stade Gerland
21 Jun 2007 Barcelona ES Olympic Stadium
23 Jun 2007 San Sebastian ES Anoeta
25 Jun 2007 Lisbon PT Alvalade Stadium
28 Jun 2007 Madrid ES Calderon Stadium
30 Jun 2007 El Ejido ES Santo Domingo Stadium
06 Jul 2007 Rome IT Olympic Stadium
09 Jul 2007 Budva YU Jaz Beach
14 Jul 2007 Belgrade YU Hippodrome
17 Jul 2007 Bucharest RO Lia Manoliu Stadium
20 Jul 2007 Budapest HU Puskas Ferenc Stadium
22 Jul 2007 Brno CZ Outdoor Exhibition Centre
25 Jul 2007 Kiev UA NSC Olimpiyskyi
28 Jul 2007 St Petersburg RU Palace Square
01 Aug 2007 Helsinki FI Olympic Stadium
03 Aug 2007 Gothenburg SE Ullevi Stadium
05 Aug 2007 Copenhagen DK Parken
08 Aug 2007 Oslo NO Valle Hovin Stadium
11 Aug 2007 Lausanne CH La Pontaise
13 Aug 2007 Dusseldorf DE LTU Arena
15 Aug 2007 Hamburg DE AOL Arena
18 Aug 2007 Dublin IE Slane Castle
21 Aug 2007 London GB O2 Arena
23 Aug 2007 London GB O2 Arena

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About Eric Olsen

  • http://photographytodaynet.blogspot.com/ T. Michael Testi

    “It went down pretty well, and I’m still alive.”

    After looking at his picture, I wouldn’t be so sure!

    …or his looks could be from the formaldehyde he snorted while touring in Egypt.

    T.

  • Eric Olsen

    T., I agree -it looks like his face might crack and fall to the floor at any moment

  • http://blogcritics.org/video Lisa McKay

    It looks like the face of a man who’s snorted his own father’s ashes…

    Takes a toll, you know.

  • http://www.futonreport.net/ Matthew T. Sussman

    KILL IT!

    KILL IT!

  • Eric Olsen

    I wonder what the ashes/toot admixture was

  • http://www.noface4film.com/ Kaonashi

    Good lord, that picture is terrifying. Eric, you should warn people not to read this article when they’re eating.

  • Eric Olsen

    good point, it has kind of a kabuki element to it

  • http://theglenblog.blogspot.com Glen Boyd

    If every picture tells a story, then the lines in Keef’s face may just be hiding War and Peace.

    -Glen

  • td

    One thing is for sure. You won’t need to add blow to Keith’s ashes to get high.

  • http://www.soundclick.com/jcmosquito JC Mosquito

    “Hey Mick, let’s go snort some DAD!”

  • STM

    That’s a picture of Keith the morning after a big night out with his dad.