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Jumping into Romance When You’re an Introvert

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Dipping your feet into the waters of the dating scene can be terrifying and unpredictable. It is extremely hard to find a person you trust and feel comfortable with. Dating is even more of an obstacle for introverts. Introverts live in an entirely different world than most people and this makes it very hard to find love.

Introverts don’t like going out much. They prefer to stay to themselves and have their own space. Introverts don’t like parties and gatherings. Many have jobs that cut them off from the public which makes them even more reclusive. Contrary to popular belief, being an introvert does not mean you’re shy. In fact a lot of introverts have fabulous personalities and can fit in any social setting. An introvert simply likes to be alone more than they like to be around people. It does not mean they don’t enjoy having fun and it certainly doesn’t mean they don’t want to fall in love.

Anyone can find love if they work at it. It’s the technology age and with that there are tons of options for people from all walks of life. No longer do you have to stand in a smoke-filled bar or club shooting the breeze with every Tom, Dick and Harry that walks up to you. You don’t have to go through the embarrassing blind dates or the expensive personal ads. You don’t have to beg friends to set you up on dates. Introverts can call the shots in romance just like anyone else. It just might be in a slightly different way.

Online Dating

This is the best choice for introverts, hands down. You can communicate with someone from the privacy of your own home. You don’t have to deal with the pressure of meeting someone right away. You can take your time and make moves to further the relationship when you’re ready. As long as you go into it with your eyes open, watch out for warning signs, and get to know the person before meeting them, online dating can be a wonderful experience.

Going Out With Friends

Yes, introverts have friends. Who would’ve guessed it? Hanging out with a friend on your terms is a wonderful way for you to meet people. It also helps you break the ice. Introverts are usually uncomfortable making the first move so having a friend along can ease the anxiety and loosen you up. We can all use a cheerleader at times.

Invite a Date Over for the Evening

A great way to have a date for introverts is to entertain at home. When you get to the point where you’re comfortable with someone, invite them over for dinner and a movie. It might sound old-fashioned but you’d be surprised how compelling a quiet date at home can be. You’ll have more control in your own environment and this will give you a chance to get to know your new love. Always be cautious when inviting someone over for the first time. Make sure you know them well and always look out for your safety.

Date Other Introverts

There’s nothing more comfortable than being with someone who is exactly the same as you. Who says opposites always attract? It’s easier to be yourself and to be comfortable around someone who is just like you. If you’re a more reclusive introvert, then dating someone who doesn’t like to go out much is the perfect thing for you. There are millions of introverts just a click away on the Internet. You can have your cake and eat it too.

Go Where You Feel Comfortable

When you begin dating someone new, suggest places you’d enjoy going. Always remember that you don’t need to pretend to be something you’re not. If you don’t like certain settings then you should be honest with your date and let them know ahead of time. If they care for you they’ll understand. You must remember to be yourself and never put yourself in a situation that frightens you or hinders your enjoyment. Remember, dates are supposed to be fun!

So, my fellow introverts, stand up and be proud! Grab love by the hair and don’t settle for less! Love does not discriminate and there is someone out there for all of us. You just have to know where to look.

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About Stacy-Deanne

  • I’m an introvert and I agree with much of what you’d say. What I would add is that introverts need a certain amount of stimulation. It’s not all alone time.

    For example, I went to a party last night, and for the first three or four hours it was wonderful. But then I got completely overwhelmed and had to sort of sit by myself and process. Part of it also has to do with being a Highly Sensitive Person who is more contemplative than inclined to rush forward impulsively.

  • Kim

    I am an extravert (small e) mow in a relationship with an introvert for the first time in my 54 years. I am intrigued, smitten and invested emotionally. I find that this is going way too slow for me and my risk averse boyfriend is somewhat baffling. I am going to stick it out a bit longer as my gut is telling me it will be worth it. I seem to be going more at his pace than he is understanding my need for at least a once or twice a week presence in my life. Balance is the key but we extraverts count in the equation too.