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Jonathan Brandis – Dead at 27

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Nicole’s blog pointed me to this site:

Sonafide.com posted this blog on Jonathan Brandis. He killed himself a few weeks ago.


[picture from http://www.sneksoog.demon.nl/jona-e.htm]

I thought he was so dreamy on seaquest – I actually followed along with the series, through Prodigy’s BBS pages. During the commerical breaks, they would have updated episode pages on the BBS’s – and I would tie up my family’s phone line to access this site.

Why did he do it?

He was still making films.

1. 111 Gramercy Park (2003) (TV) …. Will Karnegian
2. Puerto Vallarta Squeeze (2003) …. Weatherford

It seemed like he came from a good family. I suspect he invested his film and television earnings, in a good way. Not like some other child actors who felt they had to run for Governor, to jump start their careers, to pay off the bills.

Why did he do it?

Maybe it was just the acting, but it seemed like he had a pretty decent attitude about life – decent towards other people and positive about the world, in general. From my own personal brushes with suicide and suicide attempts, I find it difficult to imagine Brandis giving in to such self-destructive behaviour. I thought he was stronger than that. I know it seems easier to give-up on life and on yourself, but it doesn’t mean it’s the right way to do things. Sometimes there are things so painful, that it seems like you would die from experiencing it. But you don’t die, you end up surviving and it’s how you survive and move on, that matters most.

I thought Brandis had a wonderful sense of adventure – as Bastian in the Neverending Story, Part 2 – he had so much joy in that magical world and he managed to face his fears.

I thought this actor knew about surviving adversity – Barry in Sidekicks, despite his asthma, he found he could do all those cool martial arts moves by training consistently.

Finally, I thought he knew what it meant to believe in himself, like Lucas from Seaquest, DSV.

Why did he do it?

I guess he didn’t see all those amazing things he’s capable of.

posted at bonvivant.queenkv.org

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  • http://fando.blogs.com Natalie Davis

    Very nice piece, thanks for sharing this.

    I suspect you’re right about Brandis not seeing just how great he was. That’s the only thing I can come up with explaining his inexplicable, heartbreaking death.

  • NICOLE

    I MYSELF WONDER WHY HE DID IT, BUT I GUESS WELL NEVER KNOW. BUT ALOT OF THE NEWSPAPERS SAID APPARENT SUICIDE MAYBE HE DIDNT KILL HIMSELF. IT CAME AS A SHOCK TO ME TO AND WHEN I WAS LOOKING AT THE MOVIES HE WAS IN SOMEONE HAD POSTED THE WORDS “JONATHAN BRANDIS RUINS YET ANOTHER MOVIE” AND IT TUGGED AT MY HEART STRINGS AND I FELT SO DAMN BAD WELL IF YALL WOULD LIKE TO TALK SOMETIME EMAIL ME AT [Deleted. Posting personal contact details is against policy, sorry. Comments Editor] BYE

  • Eric Olsen

    things like this are always very sad and ultimately impossible to fully explain

  • Jennifer Mitchell

    I just read this terribly sad news about Jonathan. I was so in love with him when he first came out, to this day I still have the box of the 169 posters of him that I had plastered on my walls, all his movies, and 14 tapes full of every episode of SeaQuest along with a Lucas Action Figure, and his autograph which I was very fortunate to get. I cried the day I received his autograph and now I cry today. Even in junior high I named my flour baby after him Jonathan Gregory Brandis, and I swore to myself I would name my child after him, which I have. I have a 19 month old son named Jonathan. My heart hurts inside, I never knew him personally yet I have always felt a connection with him. I have been crying and crying over the shock of this news. As I say my prayer for him and his family I want to let people know and his family know how much he was truly loved. I know there are many other fans out there who feel the same. I feel like I have lost a family member. Jonathan the Lord has you now and he will love you eternally and unconditonally ,you now have a new life without pain and sufferring, all your troubles and worries are gone, we love you!!!!!
    **He died at the age of 27 not 28****

  • Jordan

    I was skimming over headlines at MSN about a month ago when one of them caught my eye: “Actor Brandis Dies at 27″. I thought to myself “No, please, God, don’t let it be Jonathan, please, let it be some other actor who coincidentally has the same last name as Jonathan”, but, alas, it was him, Jonathan Brandis. I was absolutely devastated. I had watched Stephen King’s IT months ago and Jonathan caught my eye with his good looks and acting skills. I fell in love with him. I set my heart on one day meeting him. But now, this dream will never come true. I love you, Jonathan. Rest in peace, my fallen angel.

  • Dominick Brascia

    I met JONATHAN BRANDIS in Hollywood when he was doing Seaquest. The last time I talked to him was about 6 years ago. He told me he wanted to get into directing. I was an actor to doing shows like Knightrider and films like Friday the 13th part 5 and I was starting to direct. Every time I would run into him at a party or an event he was always so nice to me. Everyone liked him. I left Hollywood to work in talk radio. I do a show in Denver Dominick and Bill Live on KNRC. I was back in LA for a film fest. a year or so ago. I hoped to see Jon, I didn’t. We went off in different directions. If I had any idea he felt like hurting himself I would have found him again. I really loved hanging with him. He was such a good guy… I guess I never told him how much I liked him… Guys don’t do stuff like that… I wish we would have become better friends. It was just great to hang with him when he was around… My heart goes out to his family…

    JONATHAN BRANDIS, Dominick will miss seeing you become the great director I know you wanted to be.

    Dominick Brascia

  • Carl Hurst

    I’m a lot older then Jonathan but that did’nt effect the fact that he was a truly great actor who was gifted at his trade. Being a kid growing up in the sixties watching all those great kid stars back in those days makes me have a great respect for many of the child stars of today. There are those that I can do with out but that’s not so with Jonathan Brandis, he was completely different. From the very first time I saw him I knew that he was going to do well, and you know, he did. It was through the news paper that I found out about his death. I was completely shocked. I felt a great loss, as if I actually knew him and he me. it was like a personal act against me, like he did this to me, it hurt. I wonder if celebrities really know how much of an effect they have on their fans? Is it strange that I or anyone should feel this kind of loss or the sense of personal pain from the death of people we don’t even know? But on the other hand why not, they spend a lot of their efforts and money to get us to look at them, so when their no longer around it matters. It matters to me because, he – Jonathan Brandis – made it matter. He drew me into his world and he in mine thus makeing him a part of my life, so to see he gone truly hurts, the loss is real. I am truly going to miss him not being around. For the way he left, I hurt for him. What was he going through that he felt that life was not worth living? I think I understand, and its ok, now he’s no longer hurting, he had his own good reason. By friend your fan Carl

  • jessie

    i just found out about this… and i’m completely devistated. i loved jonathan, i saw him in a few movies and he was a wonderful actor. i have friends that have attempted suicide, as well… this is just a really big impact on me. rest in peast jonathan.. we love you

  • Annemiek

    Hi,
    Im from Holland and only found out today about Jon’s dead, I was so shocked and didnt believe it, i looked on the net and found out it was real, im sooo upset by this.
    just wanted to leave a message. Jon, rest in peace.

  • Emily

    The Tragedy of Jonathan Brandis’s death.
    May his family and friends be comforted through this terrible happening and may he never be forgotten.
    Rest Peacefully Jonathan.
    Love,
    Emily

  • Jennifer Moesa

    Dear sweet Jonathan…I just heard about his death and I wouldn’t, i could not believe it was him who died..I loved him when I was eleven and I had a beautifull picture of him in my buspas and the driver asked me if he was my boyfriend. I laughed and said no..and ofcourse wished he was..I loved him so such and i didn’t even know him. I’m from Holland so he was not all that famous here, but he catched my eye and I watched IT over and over again. My condolence to his family and friends. Sweet Jonathan you will be missed, but I guess you’re in a better place now where people can’t hurt you anymore.

  • Pratish

    I’ve always felt a personal connection to Jonathan. You see, Jonathan and I were born on exactly the same day. Since I found this, I had been reading about him ever since.

    This is truly very sad… and I feel for his parents. Jonathan, wherever you are, may you be in peace.

    Pratish Sharma (UK)

  • Eric Olsen

    This IS quite terrible. Perhaps most of us are jaded to such things, but I find the tributes here very touching.

  • Miri

    I was just browsing websites to find out what some of the actors I liked when I was young were up to and I was very sad to discover that Jonathan brandis had committed suicide.
    I hope that he is well, wherever he is now.

  • Marivel

    Just like the last comment I was looking up actors that I liked when I was younger and I too was shocked at the news that Jonathan died. I cannot believe that someone so talented can be gone. Just recently I was going through some old boxes and found some posters and magazines I bought when Jonathan started his role in seaQuest. I can’t describe the way I feel about such a terrible lost. The last time I saw him acting was in a tv movie but I can’t recall the name of it. If anyone remembers a tv movie he starred in some years ago please post the title of the movie. Thanks.

  • Cole

    I grew up watching Jonathan and every time I go back to read about him I almost cry. I watched IT a couple of nights ago, I can’t get him out of my head. This is something that we will never understand

  • Brandon

    ok enough with jonathan brandis, if a guy like him who i like so much in movies and pity somtimes because of his asthma, has to to take his ownlife, well have no respect for him anymore and hope he burns in hell.

  • Tasha

    The comment above is so wrong. I used to be in love with Jonathan Brandis when I was about 8 or 9, when seaquest had just come out, and I just found out today that he commited suicide last year, from my Twist magazine. I was so shocked, that I came on the internet to see if it was true. Sadly, yes it is. To the person who left the comment above, people who have commited suicide don’t deserve to not have any respect, they are people who didnt get the help they needed in time. Its a great loss….I send my condolences out to his family, and I hope that you are happy wherever you are Jonathan.
    Tasha.

  • Maria

    Hey Brandon, I cannot believe someone could have so much hatred inside. You my friend need therapy.

    My condolences to The Brandis Family. Jonathan is resting now. God Bless him.

  • Kamea

    True, this is sad, but you guys need to leave Brandon alone. This is his opinion, you all have yours, too. When i first heard i also lost all respect for Jonathan. It has always been my belief that if you commit suicide, you dont go to heaven. Thats that.
    However, my heart has softend a bit and i relized how cold that was of me. He was a great person. We should all thank God for him and i am sure Jonathan is with Him now. While we should mourn his loss, we should also celebrate his LIFE.

  • Caitlin

    While I don’t share Brandon’s point of view in hoping he burns in Hell, I am extremely pissed off.

    Today I was looking up some web pages about him, because he was an “obsession” of mine since I was young. I hadn’t looked him up on the internet in several months and wanted to see what he was up to. My heart caught in my throat when I read that he had died of suicide. He was so talented and I’m just not sure what to do with this anger and sadness I feel. His death is such a waste of a beautiful thing and that is one thing i despise…waste. I did not know him, yet some part of me feels as though I did; especially considering the fact that I bought every known magazine that contained any information on him. As infuriated as I am at his selfish act, I also feel a great pity for him. He knew a hurtful sadness and I wish he could have found help in time. There is a part of me that wishes maybe I as a fan could have done something. My condolences to his devastated family, friends, and fans. We will all truly miss him.

  • haley

    i don’t agree with kamea or brandon in that jonathan should burn in hell, and that someone could lose respect of a person for taking their own life, i don’t personally know anyone whose taken their own life but i’m sure that he would have had a reason for doing it. his life must have seem too hard for living in so he took the only way out that he could think of. i once heard that it takes more courage to live in the world than to leave it, i don’t know if that’s true or not but i don’t think jonathan was a coward at all. may he be happy wherever he is, and i hope he’s looking down upon all those who care for him. :(

  • yolanda

    i am deeply saddened by this tragedy, and i just can’t seem to believe that it really happened. i was in love with jon when i was 11 yrs old, and i had my room wallpapered with his pictures. i remember when i wrote him a fan letter and i got an autographed picture back. i felt like the most special girl in the world. now i am 21 yrs old, and i look back fondly at my childhood. jon was my first big movie star crush and he will always hold a special place in my heart. **REST IN PEACE JONATHAN BRANDIS (1976-2003), MAY GOD BE WITH YOU**

  • Oksana

    When I was 12 years old, I watched SeaQuest every day after school. It was my favorite show of all time. Jonathan was my favorite actor, not because of his charming looks but also because of his talent. Although, when I moved to USA in 2000 and the show wasn’t on any channels, I never forgot SeaQuest. Then, 4 years later, which would be today, I went online to one of my friend’s site and her layout was featured Jonathan Brandis. The first thing that came to my mind was “OMG, I remember him” and as I look down the layout I see the big printed letters saying “In Loving Memory” I understood what the words meant, but I could not and still cannot understand why? I went to research about his death. Just about in 3 seconds, I found out that he commited a suicide…*pause* It is the kind of feeling that you get when you see a picture of a person that you haven’t seen in years and it makes you smile, until a minture later you realize that person is no longer alive. I am completly shocked and upset about the whole satuation. So many people die every damn day and almost evertime, it’s not fair. We might never know the truth behind his death, but the only thing that we will all know, that no matter how many years will go by, he will always be in our hearts. (He must have had a reason to kill himself, but why there was no one to stop him? what if he was killed by somebody else..? we will never know)

  • Lola

    Jonathan was the first guy I ever had a crush on–I was a real dork about him for years and years, totally obsessed. I’ve kept following his film career, and have great respect for him as an actor. Then, news of his suicide hits me. The first guy I was infatuated with died in the same way as my brother. Ironic and Freudian, I’m sure, but that does not make his death any less of a tragedy, or any easier to deal with. Jonathan Brandis will be greatly missed by all his fans, but I personally will be sure to remember him forever.
    Why do people throw their lives away?

  • Anna

    just wanted to post that even here in Australia there are people in shock. I only found out last week of the tragedy in a passing comment on an article on child actors and of course, ran to the internet to confim this. i too was amongst the many girls who had crushes on him. The sad thing is that i latched onto Brandis because he reminded me a lot of River Phoenix and it is terrible that they have both cut their lives short. Jonathan, you were an inspiration to me, i will miss the pleasure of seeing you develop your craft and im deeply sorry to see you go. Rest in peace.
    Love always, anna xoxoxoxox

  • max escobar

    I guess i got to be the asshole to point out kurt cobain also died at 27, as well as janis joplin and jimi, ect…
    Not that it makes any fan of his feel any better, but maybe jonathan just thought he had already had his success and 27 seemed like a nice number to check out to. I have no idea. I’ll admit brandis slipped my mind since i really haven’t seen him in anything new in a while, but i was still suprised when i heard he took the big sleep. To anyone completely devestated by his loss, don’t worry, cuz we’re all going the same way, so you’ll see him again. I know that’s morbid, but death really isn’t that bad is it? His choice to kill himself on the other hand was quite sad, but like i said, we all gotta’ go and it’s interesting to see who actually wants to take control and basically say ‘I’m leaving now, before i get hit by a bus or something’. I send my sympathy to his family, but i know their pain will never go away because i too have lost people i’ve known and loved. Death makes no sense, but if you just accept it, well goddam it still makes no sense…

  • Miguel

    Shocked he’s dead, however it happened. That’s all. RIP.

  • Lori

    My daughter and I watched “The Neverending Story: The Next Chapter” countless times, she had a crush on Bastian.
    I really find it hard to believe that he “chose” to leave this world, but I don’t know what was going on inside his head. It’s just plain sad.
    I don’t think any of us has the right to pass judgement on someone for taking their own life. As for the “burn in hell” comments, grow up people.
    Suicide is the last resort for a very troubled person. It does mean they were weak, it means that their pain was greater than their coping ability. Its a shame that he never got the help he needed.
    I pray for his family and friends, they must be devastated. And I pray for Jonathan too, may he rest in peace.

  • Candace

    Why would Jonathan Brandis do something like this? An amazingly attractive guy taking his life away like this. I wish i knew what led him to this I know im not an actress but I wish someone could’ve stopped it from comming. This is truley a tragic loss and one I will never get over. I am in a state of shock after just watching one of his movies and wondering what he was doing and where he was living. I never expected this to happen, something that could’ve been prevented. I love you Jonathan.

  • Marie

    ok enough with jonathan brandis, if a guy like him who i like so much in movies and pity somtimes because of his asthma, has to to take his ownlife, well have no respect for him anymore and hope he burns in hell.

    Brandon I hope you burn in hell grow up you act like an immature little child. Jonathan Brandis is someone you should be feeling bad for, he must’ve had so much pain inside of him to take away his life, if you can’t understand the gratitude of this you really need to stay away from this site and grow the f*** up.

    Jonathan I love you and miss you I hope you’re happy, wherever you are.

  • Joe

    Life is difficult. Sometimes we become so accustomed to simply enduring and moving past our problems, that we seldom stop to think about how amazing it is that we actually have the ability to do so. I am saddened by the revelation that they’re people in this world who feel so much hurt, that they’d rather not be alive. Life is a fragile thing, and Jonathan Brandis…wherever you are I hope that you have at last found your peace. This world is not always fair. This world tests us, throws us curve balls, knocks us down, and presupposes that we’ll always have the strength to get up. Tom Wolfe once pondered why any man would take his own life. To Wolfe the prospect seemed so incomprehensible. I’m not sure I understand why people choose to take their lives, but I do believe that some trials are so painful that they make the prospect of one making the decision to take their life so much more tangible of a solution. We’ll never know why Jonathan Brandis killed himself. We’ll never truly know what happened. But what we’ll always know is that he was loved…what we’ll always know is that he was a decent human being, and what we’ll always have is the memories. May he forever rest in peaceful repose, and may we pray that we shall never forget him…for to forget such an exceptional being would simply be a sin.

  • Saturn

    I have thought of Jonathan every day since I heard about what happened. I would like to give my sympathies to his family and fans. I loved him so much that words cannot express how I feel. I will always miss him and I will always think of him everyday for the rest of my life.

  • http://www.morethings.com/log Al Barger

    You’re going to think of Jonathan Brandis everyday for the rest of your life? Jebus Criminy, sounds like you’re badly in need of a life.

    Why do you people here feel like focusing your limited attention on this poor little famous pretty boy who decided to off himself. Of all the things in the world.

    Why don’t you think every day about some poor kids working in sweatshops, struggling to preserve their lives rather than the little rich kid who didn’t appreciate his advantages?

    Besides which, what does any of this have to do with Janet Jackson’s breast?

  • flipper

    he was my first n biggest celeb crush.i remember cutting out every picture of him from the magazines,even those microscopic ones,where you couldn’t even recognise it was him.and i still have them and all his posters tt i bought.i was glued to the screen whenever SeaQuest was on tv and i remember me and my frens at that time could spend endless hours in my room just looking through his posters.and watching The Neverending Story with my mum cos she loved that movie almost as much as me.
    he was such a big part of my teen life,it felt like i lost a big part of my past when i found out abt his death just recently.i don’t think i’ll ever be able to forget him,cos just the thought of him brings back so many other fond memories of my past.
    You’ll always be in our hearts Jonathan.

  • melinda sue

    I was so in love with jonathan brandis, i wanted to marry him! i watched all of his movies when i was young very and over and over. and trust me, if he wouldn’t of had such a leading role in that movie “IT” , i could of gone with out watching that 1,000times! i found out he had committed suicide when i was in the doctors waiting room and all i could do was sit and cry. i loved him so much and he didn’t even know. he was so loved by so many people…why the hell didn’t he get better roles? he deserved them. he was a fantastic actor. i am just devestated. please lord, help his family right now, i can only imagine what they are going through. why? why did this happen? what was so wrong? i feel like a piece of my heart has been removed and i don’t know why.

  • Katie

    the Never Ending Story 2 was my favorite movie when i was younger. I haven’t heard of anything with jonathan since and then i just bought the movie and found out who he was about a week ago. So I look online to find out about jonathan brandis, and i find out he recently killed himself. That was disturbing.

  • MIGUEL

    Hello every body! I’m from spain, and ten minutes ago i had knwe what has happened with jonathan. I’m very sad, i like a lot his paper in te SeaQuest it was one of my favourites soaps’, and he had a good paper.. He was a good actor. I can`’t undertand why he killhimself. Best whishes for every body, you have a friend in spain. sorry with my english

  • erin m

    I’m still hurting so very much.

    Jonathan, all your fans love you and miss you so very much. We didn’t and will never forget you.

    Rest in Peace. =(

  • Sam

    I didn’t even know it happend until my sister told me the other night, and I was like “yeah right,tal (thats what we call her) you dont know what your talking about” And she was like “yeah, I think it was him, the boy who played the part as a girl in that one movie”…she’s only 15, she cant remember anything. And I jumped on the computer and searched for the truth. And sure enough it was the truth. I was so saddend by the news, it was as if i knew him myself. I was so in love with him in “Ladybugs” I was like “HOTTIE”. But I hope that his family and friends will celebrate a wonderful persons life instead of mourn over a loved ones death. My love and prayers go out to the,…Thank You.

  • Jenn

    About a week or so after his death, a guy at my work came up and asked me if i watched a show called Seaquest. I said OMG yeah it was like my favorite show. He said “well that young guy on tha show died” i didnt believe him for a minute. And came home to look it up. All i can say is that ive thought about it ever since. I dont know why it touched me the way it did. Like we were friends or something. I felt like i knew him. Ive loved him since the moment i saw him. My room was wall to wall posters of him. I know every word to “ladybugs”. I watched it everyday when i was 12.. I still cant believe it. The first night i found out, i couldnt sleep. I know it sounds like im a weirdo. But for some reason, i feel in my heart that we knew each other and i could have helped in some way. I dont know.. and i cant explain it. I cant even explain the way it is still making me feel. Just reading all of these posts, im sitting here crying like a baby. Jonathan, just know that you will always be in my heart and i will love you forever.. Till we meet in heaven.. I love you.. ~~Jenn~~

  • Elaria

    I’m right alongside all of you…he had the same effect on my life. I was 15 when SeaQuest came out and had just lost a close acquaintence at school to suicide. It was the first person I’d ever known well to die and I went into some morbid psychological depression, pondering death and its meaning all the time. But somehow slowly the blonde blue-eyed SeaQuest boy managed to infiltrate my life to where more mattered than death. I too taped all but the last three episodes of SQ. I too bought the action figure. I too still have all the posters that were plastered all over every inch of my room. I’m 26 now. I had two friends call me with condolences on the news of Jon’s death because to this day my love for this actor is so very well-known among my pals. I sent the family a sympathy card and included a photo i took back at age 16 when i posed in ‘lookalike’ clothes in front of a Jon poster in a similar stance(yes, I was very obsessed). I had the Jon calender and one high school friend wrote on the back of her senior pic “To Mrs. Jonathan Brandis”. Jon has always been a big part of my life — for the past 4 years i have not had any television channels at all, and I’ve learned to live with that rather than charging up a bigger bill pulling in today’s silly shows. I have two tv shows that i have nearly every episode of, and that keep me from going totally insane: SeaQuest and The Young Riders. For 4 years Jon has been a daily occurance on my tv screen. He will continue to be remembered as the blonde blue eyed wonder that was the only person in the world to make my heart smile for many years. BTW for whomever was looking for the movie title of a few years back, I assume you were probly talking about “Ride With The Devil.”

  • Kj

    SeaQuest was my favorite show growing up and still remains one of my favorites to this day. Jonathan played a charter that I could relate to. He was a too smart boy out of place in an adults world wo still managed to find and get the girls. Kellie Martin as Chloe in the first season episode Brothes and Sisters was the first girl I hever had a crush on. He will be sorely missed

  • Martina

    Dear Jonathan, I heard about your death yesterday and I was shocked.I was so in love with you when I was younger.You were my first great love and you´ll always have a big place in my heart.You weren´t so famous in Austria but when I first saw SeaQuest I knew that I had to get all informations about you. I still have all that stuff. Your eyes and your personality were so beautiful. I can remember me being so jealous of some other girl having you as a boyfriend. Yes,I was in love with you. I hope you´re well now, wherever you are. I´ll never forget you, Jonathan, my angel! *~~Martina~~*

  • serina

    I just read about his death on another site. It’s an extream shock. I never would have thought….. I can’t belive it. He will be missed deeply. My heart goes out to his family and friends. May he never be forgoten.

  • Relya Whitesnaker

    That speech was the most beatiful thing I have ever seen… Like you all I cannot stop wondering why he did it…i saw it in a tv guides news strap…and a piece of my heart was suddenly torn apart…he was kinda the reason i went to study film makeing…i always knew i was to die at 27 and before that i wanted to give him the parts ever…race against time that i did not want to lose…all to do now, is hope he will be back soon from wherever he had to go…

  • Relya

    I was planning even, that if i had a son in the year 2002(the year Lucas Wolenczak was supposably borned) i was going to name him Lucas :) <- who knows i just might do that still

  • becks

    I had wondered where he got to – I dont believe it made the news in the southern hemisphere. damn

  • Maria_Greece

    I found out just today..I was watching SeaQuest when I was like 12 or 13 years old and I practically grew up with it. Jonathan of course was my favorite..
    Then I lost him for some years, living in Greece and not watching US Television. His films didn’t get distributed either..
    But today I was talking on the phone with my best friend and she told me..
    I was in shock.. I searched on the internet cause I could’t believe that one of my childhood and teen years’ hero was dead..so young. WHY???
    I guess we’ll never know..
    Rest in piece Jonathan, I’m so sorry you gave up on hope..

  • ELI

    i would just like to say that i am really sorry and shocked about all of this. i always thought that jonathan was a really good actor. he always had a way of making me smile. i think that is something that is missing in the teenage actors today. i would just like to say that he will be deeply missed and i still can’t believe that he is gone. truely a peace of my heart goes with him and his family. i am terribly sorry. goodbye jonathan.

  • JK

    R.I.P. Jonathan. Heaven has gained a true asset.

  • lucidique

    About four/five months ago I watched a trully horrible B-grade movie yet suprised myself by watching the whole two hours. The one thing that kept me watching; a man with beautiful blue eyes. I couldn’t even remember his name, it was just one off those momentary crushes, a heat of the moment thing.
    Then, just last week I recognised this same man in yet another movie and today decided to look him up on that universal tool which is the internet.

    I now know his name, lists of movies that he has appeared in, his birthday and the day that he died.

    Theres no use in getting upset, crying, over things like like this; I didn’t know him, didn’t follow his career, didn’t even know his name until today; but I still have this feeling of melancholy,a sadness.
    I could go on about the futility of life, the fickleness of fame and emotion but the one thing that struck me was the fact that he was only a few years older than me. and that he won’t stay that way. I’ll continue to age, live , have relationships, interact with others, maybe even have children; but he won’t. He will always be “Child Actor Suicides At 27″.

    Sad, isn’t it.

  • Allison

    I wish someone would have been there to tell him how great life could be and not to give up. Everyone deserves to live…they just have to believe that.

  • Tom

    So very sad, I didn’t know until watching the SAG awards tonight. Why did this happen?

  • mesie

    you guys know how a lot of the award shows pay tribute to fallen stars? well I`m a littl late finding out about Jonathan. I found out by watching the screen actors Gild awards. When I saw his name come across the screen I was like this can`t be for real. I was just watching him yesterday on ”sidekicks”, and thinking how good of an actor he was. I also had a big crush on him when I was younger. It`s just tragic to know that someone of so much talent chose to take their life, but then again it`s tragic when anyone does.
    Sometimes we look at certain people on tv, or in or lives, and think that person is so full of positivity, and happiness, and you just feel deeply that they`ll be around for a long time. Unfortunately this was a life cut short for jonathan, and damn, it still doesn`t seem real. When someone who is so cool, and has so much talent dies, you wish so much that it was just another rumor. And what makes some of us think about it even more, is why he chose to do this to himself. Once again another person in this world ”gone too soon”.

  • Mike

    SOMEONE KILLE THE GUY!!! NO WAY HE KILLED HIMSELF!!!

  • Melissa

    R.I.P. Jonathan

  • ryan

    Dear people who don’t read or have not ever read the Bible, but you do not go to heaven if you kill yourself.
    My sister thought he was so hot when she a teenager. I can’t believe he did this to his family and all the fans. Once again if you kill yourself you don’t go to see Jesus you go see Satan for eternity.

  • Heather

    I just found out today while watching the Screen Actors Guild Awards, they showed a film of all the actors that had passed away this year. And Jonathan poped up,with out thinking I yelled,”NO!” Even now I’m still upset.I wish that someone had noticed he had a problem or he would still be here.I was really looking forward to seeing him in more movies.He just left to soon.To me he will always be the boy who littered my walls with his blond hair and beautiful blue eyes.
    All your Fans,family and friends will miss you terribly.

  • Julie

    I, too, just found out about Jon’s death from the SAG awards. Of all the actors who appeared, I gasped when I saw his picture. I watched Sea Quest and some of his movies. I haven’t seen him in anything lately, but I researched his movies and found out he’d been in a lot. He was a good actor and I am sorry he felt he had to take his own life. My dearest sympathies go out to his family. And by the way, don’t put him down for doing that. Don’t trample on a man’s grave. You don’t know the circumstances he was in. Just mourn him and look fondly back on his career, and don’t let this happen again! Like Sean Astin said tonight, pay attention to those in front of the camera!!

  • lin

    Add me to the list of the peeps who found this out through the SAG Awards. I didn’t even believe it. I was like um…WHAT? I was actually never a genuine loyal fan of Brandis, which is probably why I’m more sighing in sadness rather than bursting into tears. But I’m still one of those girls that was into him when I was a teenager. I had my fair shair of his posters cuz he was so cute and hot, etc etc. I pretty much forgot about him cuz I don’t recall him making many movies lately, at least not ones that I’ve seen.

    When I went online to find out just how he died, I was like okay, was it cancer? Murder? Car accident? Freak accident? Then I find out it was suicide, I was shocked. “Why would he kill himself?” I asked myself. Then I read that he didn’t even leave a note, and I was then STUNNED. “Why would he kill himself and not say why? Not leave final words of love for anyone? Just how much hurt was he IN? AND HOW COME NOBODY KNEW?!?!” Yes, it’s quite frustrating when someone with seemingly great things going in his life would suddenly decide that it just wasn’t worth living anymore. And geeze, he was so YOUNG. Didn’t even have a chance to have a family which could have provided him what he probably never knew he desired, some new kind of love. *sigh* If only he didn’t give up. That’s all I do now is sigh in sadness, and hope in some way that God has mercy on his pained soul.

  • Alexis

    I was watching the SAG awards as well & I thought it was an accident..perhaps car. Yet reading all the information getting caught up (on information that wasn’t much provided) I feel sorry for most people who take thier own life. Some people say it’s selfish of themself, some people say they will go to hell. Yet you shouldn’t call someone selfish unless you have “walked a mile in thier shoes”, and hell or heaven that goes into peoples personal belief. My own I think that sometimes this world can be just to hard on a weak sole, and God or whomever they believe in will decide where they go for thier after-life. “A heart so big, God wouldn’t let it live, May Angles lead you in” -Jimmy Eat World, the song “Hear You Me” :For his family & loved ones, I’m sorry.:

  • Eric Olsen

    I find it fascinating that in this world of 24-hour news and the Internet that this story didn’t get more attention at the time, and that so many people are just finding out about it now. Maybe it was just too sad, and there is no obvious moral or lesson.

  • Jen

    I to found out from SAG awards. ….. honestly, I have nothing to say on this. Just to painful to think about. All I have to say is …..
    Rest in peace Jonathan! You will be truely missed. We love you. :(

  • rhammeia

    I too was watching the SAG awards last night and was shocked to see Jonathan Brandis’ picture flash on the screen….I had a crush on him when he played Bastian for Never Ending Story… My condolences to his family…and to Jonathan..whereever you are, may you rest in peace.

  • Hilda

    I like many others discovered of his passing during the SAG Award Memorials. In fact, I found out several people died of whom I was not aware. I went to the internet to find out what happened and since yesterday I cannot get out of my head the terrible way this young man died. I, too, had a deep crush on him during his Seaquest adventures and followed his career up to Hart’s War. I had always hoped there would be a Seaquest movie or the series would resume again, like many of our past favorites. My heart and sympathies go out to his family and friends. Suicide is difficult to grieve. Oftentimes, the family and friends go through years of torment, of blaming themselves for what happened. I think it is worse that there was no note; to know the pain and questions that his family are still asking themselves this very day is painful for me to imagine. I run a ministry at my church where people can honor their children who have died from conception to adulthood with a quilt square, and we have a memorial service, more a celebration of the life and gift they were to us, for however short their life was (or in some cases never born), each year on the third Saturday in September where we carry our quilts (yes, there are now 2) up to the altar in a procession (Catholic). We light candles and place them around the baptismal font (it is an interfaith service) as a symbol of life everlasting. One of the parents who has been involved deeply in this project the last three years are parents of a daughter who killed herself. It’s been 12 years and she still feels responsible — like she could have done something, missed something, known something; that it was her fault; it was her daughter; she should have known (even though she did try to get help for her, it wasn’t enough; this person was an adult, just as Jonathan was). And no matter how much we can assure her that it was NOT her fault, she lives with this guilt and carries it with her every day. It saddens me to think that she will probably carry that guilt to her grave. Her daughter, as with Jonathan, did not leave a note. No one is to blame for this; his family and friends don’t need people saying, “Why didn’t anybody do something?” That is only going to make them feel worse. I am sure that he carried a happy exterior while inside he was dying a little bit every day. Many people do this and that is why it is such a shock to us all. We know this young man as a wholesome person who was always smiling, always said good things about people. I bet you all his friends and family saw this, too. It was the last thing everyone would have thought; it was not what I thought either. I thought accident, illness, but never did the word suicide enter my mind until I read it with my own eyes. There are many people in the world like this. Be at peace, Jonathan. And people, have some compassion. People in pain need our compassion, not our anger. Think how much pain that family and his friends are in and don’t post things that are hurtful. I understand freedom of speech, but it’s like you wouldn’t yell fire in a crowded theater. Use some common sense. Would you like to come to some web site to see what was written about your child who died and see some of these hurtful things written?

  • JENNIFER

    Does anyone know when this happened?

  • Eric Olsen

    November 11, 2003

  • Charlotte

    I heard about the death of Jonathan some times ago. I’m french and I live in Paris. There he wasn’t very famous. But when I was only 9 years old, I saw him in Seaquest, and from this moment I can’t forget him. Then I saw him in all the films he did. I was interested by him, by his career. Nobody in my family or in my friends knew him, but I did, and I told myself that one day I will work in the movie industry and met him, and told him that I believed in him. The only think I hope for him, is that he is happy where he is now.

    Jonathan, I will always remember you, and your smile will stay in my heart forever.
    Charlotte

  • Candice

    Like so many others, I too found out about Jonathan’s death through the SAG Awards. I was shocked and surprised that I hadn’t heard anything about it until then. I looked around on the internet and found out the cause was suicide; I thought it was going to be cancer or an accident or something like that. I am very saddened by his death and pray that his family will heal in time. I pray that Jonathan is resting in heaven and has found the peace and happiness that he deserves.

  • http://carol carol

    i found out about this tragedy through the sag awards as well as many others. i cant believe it is true. i just would like to express my deepest smpathy to all the fans, friends, and family of this young star. he may not be here with us today, but he will live on through his work forever. god bless all

    carol

  • Jill

    I only found out today. I too had a crush on Jonathan when I was younger. I’m so sad that he chose to end his life. I hope that where ever he is he is now happy.

  • jessica Lindstrom

    i cant even believe this.i still feel like im in a dream and thats its not real.i was in love with a picture and thats all i new of him.he was my everything and noone ever knew.he had a wonderful talent.I dont understand why he would ever do that.he had a great life and alot of people loved him.Just looking at this site made me realize im not alone.im younger than him but have all of his movies and every picture of him i could find on my walls.i love everything about him and i dont even know him.i feel like i do.i feel terrible for his family and much sorrow.I cant even believe this is really happen.I cant even cry because i dont want to believe this really happened.im so speechless.Jonathon-i wish you knew how i feel because i love you soo much..although he`ll never know.he was perfect..but so stupid for doing what he did.i could type forever about him because hes all i think about.if anyone knows where im coming from please email me at flygirljess@aol.com.

  • Douglas

    Unlike so many others, I did not learn of this tragic loss by watching the SAG Awards. I happened to be looking at the website for the Farpoint Star Trek Convention, held every year in February. On their Homepage was an “In Memoriam” link. Out of curiosity, I clicked on it, and it was there at the bottom that I read the tragic news. I was astonished. He was so young! The final line of their tribute is “Jon’s fans in Baltimore will surely never forget their pleasure at meeting him, and will mourn his untimely passing.”

    I couldn’t understand what could have happened.My first thought was that surely he had suffered some health tragedy which took his life. Then of course, I thought that maybe it was some form of accident. I did a Google search on his name and discovered the shocking truth.

    I feel so sad. A part of me is angry. At age 32, I was hospitalized five times with a serious illness. During my last stay in the hospital, I needed emergency surgery. Immediately after the surgery, I slipped into a coma, which lasted four weeks. I was very close to death, but thanks to a wonderful medical staff, thanks to my friends who visited me and talked to me, not even knowing if I could hear them or not, thanks to whatever higher power is up there, and thanks to my own youth and will to survive, I pulled through.

    I came so close. None of the members of the medical staff thought I was going to make it. But I did. And yet here is an amazingly, incredibly talented, good looking and charming young man, who takes his own life.

    When I was younger, I watched Seaquest DSV. I enjoyed the show, but was captivated by the charm and talent of this boy, this “Lucas Wolenczak.” I said to myself that he had the potential to be a huge star. Tragically, that potential will remain forever unfulfilled.

    I wish that he had sought help. They said there were no drugs or alcohol in his system, so he was clear-headed when he decided to do this. As much as anyone who does this can be “clear-headed.”

    The tragedy of waste. Wasted talent. Wasted potential. I didn’t know him. I wish I had. Perhaps I could have helped him. Perhaps I could have eased his pain. I wish that I had had the chance. :’-(

  • J B..

    I am cryijng about his death, and the one thing i wanna know is why???
    I’d loved him for many years now.. but I never meet him.. now i will never meet him ever..
    damn!!
    your in my mind Jonathan Gregory Brandis for ever!!
    bye

  • teng

    same here pipol, i just knew abt this tragedy on the SAG awards.. so sad.. *sigh*

    hope youre much happier where you are now Jon.. rest in peace my Bastian.. ull always be my childhood angel..
    God bless your soul..

    Condolence to the family and friends.

  • Jennifer

    I was sooo disapointed when I found out..It was just a few days ago my Dad saw it on the computer and told me about it. I couldn’t believe it!! I was sooo in love with him when I was like 10 through about 16. I never hoped to marry him or anything but it pains me when I hear about a suicide of someone that was talented and could have had soo much more to offer the world. I always thought he would play Luke Skywalker if they ever made more of the movies after the first trilogy.
    I think I watched his movies and the Seaquest show non stop for like 6 years and any of you ladie remember that addition of seventeen magazine where he was the prom date along with Joey Lawence?..I remember being soo jelous of the girl in the picture of him becuase they seemed to be haveing so much fun and looked like they were going to kiss in the picture..Surprizingly enough I still have that addition it was April of 1993!! I am working on my masters in psychology right now and have been down the suicide road but never acted on it. I just wish somone close to him had seen the signs before he did it. The world has lost one more shinning light just like Kurt Cobain and every one else that has taken their own lifes. I just hope they found the afterlife and the peace they were looking for by doing so. To bad he couldn’t have see how meny lifes he touched and how many people his death has now effected. Does anyone know but I thought I had heard he was married a few years ago what ever happend to that and if he is I give my sympathies to her and their families. Unfortunatedly not much can be done for someone determend to take their own life. I just hope everyone can make it through this tradgity with love and understanding that maybe it was his only choice for mental angush that he may have been going through. Peace and love to all…
    P.S If ANYONE reading this feels like taking their own lives PLEASE PLEASE go seek help it is a finallity that you can’t come back from!!! And you would be suprized of the effect that you death may have on others you leave behind!!!

  • esheep123

    Well, well, Jon Brandis. You really did it, didn’t you? How could you? You left so many of us feeling hopeless, upset, asking “Why?” so much that it hurts to think. You were amazing, as an actor, a person, an idol. Killing yourself was the dumbest, most cowardly act you could have performed. Why did you do it? Why did you? Why?

    How’s Tatyana Ali taking all this news? No one has brought that subject up. She and Jon were best friends at an early age and become hot and heavy lovers in their late teens/early twenties. E! should interview her. We would get to the bottom of this mystery. Maybe she dumped him?

    I will admit that life is tough for child actors that don’t keep up the momentum once they reach puberty, but Brandis was still working. Who knows why his blond, money-filled, famous, director-bound life crumbled?

    OK, enough Brandis bashing. I miss you Jonathan Gregory Brandis. You meant a lot to a lot.

  • raemars

    I just found out about it. Not living in the US, I didn’t know about it until… well, now. Yesterday, I was browsing through a mag at a store and found out about it. I was shocked! I couldn’t believe it! So, I practically ran out of the store to go home so I could browse the ‘net. I really, really thought it was a very nasty rumor.

    Alas! It’s not. Now, not only I’m shocked. I’m angry. I’m disappointed. And I’m sad beyond words. The truth haven’t really settle in yet so I kinda fell empty. Why did he do it? He was the first guy I’m interested in. I was 7 when I saw him in Neverending Story2. At the time, it was an age when I hated boys. But seeing him, I made one exception. For him alone.

    God! I can’t find words to say anymore. So I’ll end it.

  • Juliette

    There have been a large number of posts on this subject already, and at the risk that this is probably just going to be another one saying the same old stuff, I thought I would give my opinion anyway.

    I only found out about his death yesterday, like many others I had ‘harboured’ (to say the least!) a crush on him during my early teens – and yesterday I had the thought to go on the net to have a look at what he was up to nowadays… I was quite shocked to see that he was first of all dead, and secondly even more surprised that he had taken his own life. I too felt that I was ‘in love’ with him when I was younger, and had the idea that one day I would go to the USA and meet him and somehow end up marrying him etc! But of course I grew older and as time passed I realised that it was just a crush and couldn’t possibly be love, as I had never even met him let alone got to know his personality! Real life got in the way and I had more or less put my Jonathan Brandis ‘fantasies’ away in the cupboard.

    I have never forgotten him, but when I found out that he was dead I didn’t cry/feel great emotion, I just felt a dull anger at how he could be so selfish and foolish as to take his own life. But during the day little memories of him in his various roles kept coming back to me, and I realise just how sad and terrible it is that anyone, whoever they are, felt that things in their life were so bad that the only solution they could think of would be suicide. I have never actually met the guy, and I do not know why he did what he did, so am in no position to judge him… but I just hope that wherever he is he has found peace at last.

  • benoks

    i used to fantasize as a kid that someday when i’m older and independent i would meet him, and we would go riding off into the sunset… but when this time came, i found that i’ve lost track of him… i did’t even know when my really first love has already gone.

  • Jennie

    To Ryan and all others who said that Jonathan is with Satan. I’m a Catholic and was raised to believe suicide is a sin. But I was also taught that our God is a forgiving God and I honestly believe that Jonathan is with him now.

    Jon you are missed and will always be loved.

  • catherine mc garrell

    i just found out today about the news when i did a web search on his name, and i was shoked, i have always loved him since i first saw IT 2 years ago with his good looks and mindblowing talent he really stood out, especially with emily (beverly) IT is my faveourite film and i have nearly finished the book, but now it feels as though the clown has come and killed poor jonathan(stuttering bill)my heart is striken with the news i feel as though i lost a family member. if any other fans wish 2 talk 2 me my address is above, god rest dear jonathans soul, but i think the main question is why he killed himself

    luv, your fan cat xox

  • it doesnt matter

    You sad people who spend hours online in forums chatting and texting about people you never really knew and allowing your own lifes experiences to color your perceptions of them and or their actions…..youre like sheep. Knowing WHY or IF he killed himself is a moot point. What would knowing that change about the fact that he is dead. You people write about how selfish or foolish he was, how he should burn in hell or how “You left so many of us feeling hopeless, upset..” Well, WAKE UP PEOPLE! If you feel anything its because YOU CHOSE to feel it, not because someone else MADE YOU feel it. Its so sad to see you writing about “I didn’t know him. I wish I had. Perhaps I could have helped him. Perhaps I could have eased his pain. I wish that I had had the chance. :’-(” Yeah? Really? Well how good of you to feel so empowered and necessary that you could have somehow altered his destiny Ooooh youre special….-PEOPLE do what they WANT to do, and regardless of what his original INTENT was, be it practical joke on his friends that went wrong or an actual suicide, the FACT IS, his OWN actions lead him to his end and anything at all that you chose to ASSUME about his life or how you CHOSE TO BELIEVE that he had an impact on your life somehow, is nothing more than your OWN interpretations of him and his life and its end. Its sad to see people REQUIRING someone else to give them guidence or a reason to live or anything. Life is what you chose to make of it. Chose to get out from in from of a DISPLAY SCREEN ….texting to your so called friends all damn day and CHANGE THE WORLD instead of BITCHING ABOUT IT. Ever go a day without your cell phone on purpose? I bet you even eat in front of your “God” so you dont miss a word it has to deliver to you. You people are addicted to texting as much as addicts are to crack. And youre no less sad.

  • Heather

    I feel sorry for you it seems that you have alot of hatred in side of you. And your taking it out on everyone else. Let them grieve for Christ Sake.This is how some of them do it, by talking to others who feel the same way they do. So leave them alone.

  • Dimmer

    Not even my childhood idol can stay alive. Besides, saying that suicide is weak, is to be a little more politically correct than what is tasteful.

  • Old Timer

    He was a sweet kid. It is always sad when young people with so much life ahead of them cut it short before they learn that things have a way of working themselves out. If there is anything that the young folks here can take away from this sad event, its that the sun does come up tomorrow, trouble passes, sadness subsides and every day is a fresh chance to make the best of your life. Jon doesn’t have that chance now, but you do. Remember this and choose to live.

  • Old Timer

    He was a sweet kid. It is always sad when young people with so much life ahead of them cut it short before they learn that things have a way of working themselves out. If there is anything that the young folks here can take away from this sad event, its that the sun does come up tomorrow, trouble passes, sadness subsides and every day is a fresh chance to make the best of your life. Jon doesn’t have that chance now, but you do. Remember this and choose to live.

  • Juliette

    A message to ‘it doesn’t matter’ – all your ranting and raving only proves that you are the one obsessed with posting in forums and message boards.. why be so concerned? It is up each and every person to make their own decisions about what they want to do.

    I believe that chat forums and discussion boards are a good idea, they allow people to communicate ideas, theories, or just simple opinions on topics of interest with others… since when was it a bad idea to communicate? The sharing of knowledge and ideas is what encourages society to grow and develop into a better place.

  • darren

    you will be missed, such a hottie, such a waste…i too wish i could of met you.

  • KAREN

    LAST NIGHT AT A GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE WATCHING CABLE I CAUGHT AN EPISODE OF SEAQUEST AND MY FRIEND SAID THAT HE’D KILLED HIMSELF ABOUT 6 MONTHS AGO. AS A BRANDIS FAN IN MY TEENS I THOUGHT SHE CAN’T BE SERIOUS, BUT TODAY WHEN I LOGGED ON, THE SHOCK THAT I FELT WAS SURREAL. JONATHON BRANDIS WAS AN EXPERIENCED AND TALENTED ACTOR AND IT SADDENS ME THAT SOMETHING THIS TRAGIC CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE. THIS BRIGHT SHINING STAR WINKED OUT TOO EARLY. MY BELATED CONDOLENCES TO HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS. HE WILL BE REMEMBERED BY MANY.

  • Lisa

    Rest In Peace, Jonathan. I will not forget you.

  • Gervil

    Rest in peace my dear Jonathan….

    Being someone unknown to you is very hard. what I feel right now is very hard to explain I don,t know you yet you touched my life. Thank you for making me feel this way. Thank you for being a part of my life through the characters you portay in every movies you make. What may have caused you to take your life is unknown to everyone we hope to know the reason behind so that we could have stopped you beforehand, but since it already happen all I could do for you is to pray for your soul.

    Hope you found the answers….

    Love,
    Gervil

  • Hwizzy

    It was much of a shock when I heard of his death. He was such a sweet kid with talented acting abilities. I remember watching him in movies as a kid. Films like Neverending story II and It and not forgetting Seaquest. It’s hard to reason why people take their own life but I guess maybe in Jon, life was somehow too much to cope. Blaming him for his weakness is both unjust and prejudiced as the motive behind his suicide is still unknown. My belated condolences to parents of Jonathan. Rsst in peace Jonathan and may the Lord love you always.

  • tina

    hi.
    i am a big jb fan i i was so sad when i heard i just heard it today (30th april 04) i live in norway and they dont tell you so much here.
    i cryed for houers.
    r.i.p jonathan
    i will ALWAYS love you.

    love from tina.

    all jb fan are welcome to email me. at: tinakristinsolum@hotmail.com

  • http://noneatthemomment Julie Herera

    I’ve been surfing the internet for quite some time now. It was out of sheer fanaticism with seaquest that I stumbled into this tragic news. I love seaquest and I adore each and every cast with a strong emphasize on the first season. I am appalled and I wasnt expecting it to be a suicide case. As I saw the statement” In loving memory of Jonathan who cant be with us today, I tried to search the internet about it. I was definitely shocked and sad about the fact that he committed such. I watched him during his seaquest days and found him to be a typical teenage actor who have done a good job portraying his role. I find mquite serious with his role as well. I am charmed with each characters and couldnt see any other actors playing their roles. Jonathan belongs to that wonderful cast. I have read that he still talks with some of the cast after its cancellation. Im sure they will be devastated. Its a big loss. He is a year older than me. I just hope that he find peace wherever he is now. May God rest his soul. My heart and prayers goes out to his family.

  • Cari

    I guess I am a little slow. It’s the 1st of May 2004 and I was sitting here at home watching Ladybugs when I decided to Google Jonathan Brandis. I was stunned at what came up. I had no clue he was dead. I was so in love with him when he was on seaQuest DSV! I watched every show just to see him. And today I’m 27 years old and I sat here reading the news that he had killed himself last year. I cried, because it’s just such a waste. And because it’s like part of my childhood died with him. Why?? I’m sure everyone has asked that. I guess we’ll never know.

  • http://erin Erin

    I just found out that Jonathan is dead. It is way after the fact and I can’t believe how out of touch I have been. I met Jon when I was 12 years old on a movie set in Texas. He was wearing a black sweat suit. He was a year older than me and I thought I would never get over loving him. He was sweet enough to give me his auotgraph and I still have it. When I heard, a chill ran through me. I am so sorry and sad. I never knew him, but somehow, I wish there was something that I could have done. I’ll never forget him. He was a great actor. I will say a prayer for you Jon. You are loved. Erin

  • megg*

    i donno bout ya`ll..but i just really miss the kid..he was great and i grew up with him. we went on a few dates and he was so nice and hes not like those actors that are so caught up and conceited about their looks and fame. he was just a regular person like me and you and everyone else. he was soo happy all the time and he didnt let his frustrating job get in his way..he lived the 27 years to the fullest and if anyone knew him like i did you`d definetly be surprised about why he did this. he was a strong person and he understood everything..he was just goin through a denial stage. but he just couldnt control it. i love him a lot and i miss him more than words can explain..love you jonathan<3…:’-(

  • Melissa B.

    Last night, I was watching MTV’s Child Star Babylon and my best friend and I were shocked to find out that Jonathan Brandis had killed himself. I remember how much I loved him on “SeaQuest DSV”; he was the only reason I watched that show. I can remember everyone having pictures of him from Tiger Beat magazine taped up in their lockers in junior high. And I used to watch him in “Ladybugs” all the time. My friend and I were so sad when we heard about him. Neither of us could believe that we hadn’t heard a word about it till just last night. He was one of the big heartthrobs from my junior high years, and I won’t ever forget him.

  • Melissa

    Last night, my best friend and I were shocked to hear that Jonathan was dead. We were watching VH1’s “Child Star Babylon” when they mentioned it. We both felt so incredibly bad because neither of us had heard a word about it till just last night. I remember all the girls in my junior high school taping pictures of him from Tiger Beat magazine up in their lockers. I was a huge fan of “SeaQuest DSV”, and the only reason I even watched the show was because of Jonathan. I loved him so much, and I can’t believe he’s actually dead. He had such incredible talent, and he’ll be very missed.

  • lena

    look, jonathan was a amazing actor and seemed like a decent friend.He had everything going for him and yet partaked in his tragic death.After seeing the ladybugs so many years ago i thought that it was the best movie and it wouldent have been the same or even close to that good if he was not in that movie. Me and my sister would always fight over who gets him.He could have had any girl he wanted and yet again he killed himself. Do you all really think that he killed himself or got killed?i am so confused.Maybe he was undera lot of pressure and just couldent handle it anymore.but all i know is that he was a good person.and will be missed always.We love you and regret ur death. You might be looking over all your fans and i just thought you should know that you are an inspiration and will be missed dearly.

  • http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Palace/6679/index.html lena

    look, jonathan was a amazing actor and seemed like a decent friend.He had everything going for him and yet partaked in his tragic death.After seeing the ladybugs so many years ago i thought that it was the best movie and it wouldent have been the same or even close to that good if he was not in that movie. Me and my sister would always fight over who gets him.He could have had any girl he wanted and yet again he killed himself. Do you all really think that he killed himself or got killed?i am so confused.Maybe he was under a lot of pressure and just couldent handle it anymore.but all i know is that he was a good person.and will be missed always.We love you and regret ur death. You might be looking over all your fans and i just thought you should know that you are an inspiration and will be missed dearly.

  • http://www.pervy_bunny@hotmail.com/ Alina

    I still find this unbelieveable and I can’t seem to adapt to the idea of him being gone in my mind. I remember reading about his suicide months ago and crying because of the shock and confusion. I agree with many of the people who commented here, his ability to capture the crowd with his talent and good looks was incredible, and to see or hear about someone like that passing away from a typical yet stupid manner such as suicide, is just depressing and heartbreaking. And no, we may not understand why he decided to end his life, and niether approve of it, but as his fans I think the only thing we can do is cherish all the memories of him and make it known that he will be extremely missed. || WE LOVE YOU J.B FOREVER ||

  • Jaime

    I am at a loss for words. I had no idea about Jonathan’s death until recently. All I can say is that he will be missed.

  • Sam

    I think the loss of Jonathan is very sad. Most of us grew up with him, and though we hadn’t thought about him since we got out in “big people” worlds, he was a major part of our childhood. I guess I always expected to see him occasionally on t.v. and say” Wow, I used to love that guy.” Now, it’s sad to know that as we grow up he won’t be around. I heard that he was upset about not being able to get work, this should make us value those actors we treasured as children, so they don’t go through the same thing. I also wish he could see just how many fans he did have. Most everyone my age (early 20’s) knows who he is and is shocked on his death. I know I will miss him and I do thank him for many hours of fantasies, laughs, and talent. I can remember how excited I would get as a little girl when “Ladybugs” and “Sidekicks” would come on t.v. =)

  • JIl

    couple of days ago I saw this show on VH1 bout child stars an all and they mentioned that Jonathon Brandis offed himself some months ago. I kinda felt wierd and curious to go online and find out why this guy/kid that I thought was lame and did lame pictures off’ed himself. I found out soo much about him…that I felt bad for not liking him or his movies. Ive read almost all of the post and still no real clue on WHY he did it, was it drugs, money, D/C level celeb status??? I mean he lived right off of Wilshire and LaBrea, not the best area in Hollywood 99 cent store round the corner and Johnnys cheap ass dinner round the other, my gf’s a personal trainer and lives in way better digs than that. Really why did he do it, someone must come forward and spill what they know or should I go to the Enquierer site?
    Hey Jb wherever you are Lord have mersey on your sole.

  • Susannah Alonzo

    i agree with all who morn Jonathan,I too Morn. We all seem to have the same experiances. And I too came across the othe day a giant poster in a frame i had , a shiver went up my spine! WHY?! is all my heart says. If he only knew he was still loved! How could he not!? WhY!? I felt i had alot in common with him, both being only children who want so bad to make movies. I gave my dreams up to be a mother, he didn’t, he still could have accomlished being a director. I would have been jelouse and hated it, but he should have fathered a child, so maybe his beauty could still shine in the world. I still have all my Jon things too! i saved all my $ to get a subscription to BOp and The Big Bopper magizines, Just to get pics of him and read about him. I fought to see his movies on the day they came out! And I have 80% of all the SeaQuest’s on tape and I even Tapes and still have The episode of saved by the Bell the college years where jonathan came to Thanksgiving dinner on tape too! My mom is just as sad as we are,she knew that he was a good person that was ok to “love”. WEll all love him! And Why didn’t the Acadamy awards have Jonathan on the screen for those we lost this year?!?!?!?!? I watched it just to see his face and see the reaction of the crowd, but nothing! Are they to “rightouse to have him on there, cause this was a suicide? Whatever—If Mary and Greg, jon’s parents ever read this. I’m sorry for you loss of your only child and i am praying that you can heal and find the understanding that we as jonathan’s fans will never understand.
    Love always Susannah

  • Steve

    I think everyone here has said it all.Sometimes it’s always too late. But in most cases of sucicide you never know what really is on someones mind. From Sidekicks to Seaquest DSV, Jonathan Brandis made his mark. I think everyone should remember him for what he did and who he was. From all of his fans including myself you will be missed, rest in peace Jonathan.

  • Amy

    I can’t believe this really happened. Everyone has already said what i want to say, so I won’t repeat it. but,honestly though, a part of me just died. I found out also by watching the VH1 special about child stars and all their problems. The neverending story 2 was one of the most influential movies when i was young and i always loved the ladybugs! I just hope that he knew how many fans he had, and how many people loved him and his work. I miss him so much and i never even knew him….

  • Charissa

    I feel so sad…
    I had a teenage crush on him when I was about 11 years old. I remember buying all these magazines he was in and watching all his films.
    Even in college, though completely past my teenybopper crush phase, I looked him up on the web every so often just to see what he was up to.

    I am surprised that this news shocked me so, I had trouble catching sleep after the day I found out, could’t stop thinking about why someone would kill themselves and I wonder if they would regret it if ofcourse they could. Haven’t we all (well perhaps not, I hope not) thought about it at some point (I know I have), but are now happy that we didn’t go through with it. It’s sad to know that someone can be so desperate to end it all. I feel for his friends and family, this must be so tough on them, they must feel so hopeless.

    Charissa (The Netherlands)

  • jennifer

    jonathan brandis was the shit and i was so pissed of wjen i found out about his death.he was such a charasmatic actor and had a bright future ahead of him.he was goergeous and i wish he would have never committed suiside.RIP jonathan and i’ll keep u in my heart and may god bless you!

  • colin

    i like jonathons acting alot he made lots of people happy in his life so why would he do something like that and may his moives go on being sold at stores for life im gonna miss him sincearly colin

  • Shamy

    I knew about Jonathan Brandis acting career, but I really didn’t know about his death until now, let say a couple of weeks ago. Since then I started looking up info. about him, photos, etc. I didn’t remember how cute he was, he was beautiful, and I don’t know the reazons of what he did with his life, but for sure he had his reazons. Why? we may never know, but I hope he is in heaven. And I hope he is having there what he didn’t had here, and if he is in heaven, he is living a better life and being happy even though some people here miss him. I’m sorry for what happened, I’m sorry for his parents and family, and hope you are in a better place with that beautiful face and smile you always had.

  • mike

    well, what can i say, im 18 now…and i remember seeing him in lady bugs and sidekicks, matter of fact im watching sidekicks on t.v. now, i cant believe he took his own life…i didnt know, until i watched the oscars, i hope he has peace in heaven, he will be missed greatly. from lady bugs “all you have to do is dreeeeeaam”

  • DJ

    I haven’t read every comment in here but a couple so far piss me off.
    First off if someone kills themself it is not for you to judge them. If there is a God then He will sort it out.
    I understand that religion plays alot in why people say that people who commit suicide should go to hell and I can’t tell you not to believe that if you do. But that same religion also teaches you NOT to judge other people and that is that.
    He killed himself and if you loved him you will feel pissed and upset and hurt and angry. Believe me I know this.
    I’ve had three people in my family kill themselves. One more family member shot himself in his car but didn’t die. I also had another family member slit her wrists to the bone but luckily didn’t die. And who knows how many other people I’ve know have thought about or attempted it and failed. I’ve had more than one friend kill themself. And let me tell you… until you are standing there talking to someone and a day later they are dead… you will never really know what suicide is all about. The only thing that can even be close is to accidently kill someone yourself.
    I have been to the lion’s den
    I have seen the blood on the wall
    No place for joy… a nightmare land
    And suicide was all I saw
    Live Life
    Don’t let anyone bring you down. Even if you love them. Meet them when you are old. Peace DJ

  • corey

    I always felt Jonathon Brandis was a solid actor and I loved the movies of his i saw; Sidekicks, Neverending story 2, and ladybugs are all warm family movies and are favorites of mine that i could watch over and over again in the past but now when I watch them ill always think of how that funny young boy isnt with us anymore.

    I wish the best for his family and prey he has moved on to a better place.

  • David

    I don’t sympathize. I lose total respect.

  • VERONICA

    OK.. FIRST OFF, I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE HATEFUL FEELINGS TOWARDS JONATHAN BRANDIS. IS IT SAD? OF COURSE IT IS. SHOULD HE HAVE FOUND SOME HELP? YES, BUT MAYBE HE TRIED. I READ AN ARTICLE THAT STATED HOW HE HAD TOLD SOME FRIENDS HE WANTED TO KILL HIMSELF. NO ONE LISTENED. SOMETIMES PEOPLE JUST FEEL LIKE THEY ARE ALONE, THAT NOBODY REALLY CARES. YOU KNOW? JUST BECAUSE WE ALL HAD CRUSHES ON HIM, DOESN’T MEAN THAT HE WAS ALWAYS SHOWN LOVE IN HIS PERSONAL LIFE. MAYBE PEOPLE JUST ASSUMED THAT HE KNEW THEY CARED, BUT NEVER REALLY CAME OUT AND TOLD HIM.
    I JUST FOUND OUT A FEW DAYS AGO, BECAUSE A FEW WEEKS BEFORE HE PASSED AWAY, MY MOM LOST HER BATTLE WITH BREAST CANCER, SO MY MIND WAS JUST FOCUSED ON MY LOSS, AND TRYING TO GET THROUGH. BUT I TOO, WAS A BIG FAN OF JONATHAN, AND I HAD JUST WATCHED -LADY BUGS, A FEW DAYS BEFORE. I DECIDED TO LOOK HIM UP AND SEE IF HE WAS GONNA BE IN ANY NEW MOVIES, AND I CAME ACROSS THE JONATHANBRANDIS.ORG–MEMORIAL PAGE. IT WAS TOO CRAZY TO BELIEVE. IT SHOULD TEACH EVERYONE TO PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THEIR LOVED ONES, BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THEY ARE IN NEED OF HELP, SOMEONE TO LISTEN, OR JUST SOMEONE WHO WILL REMIND THEM THAT THEY ARE NEVER ALONE.
    WE ARE ALL ENTITLED TO OUR OPINIONS, BUT UNLESS YOU HAVE REALLY LOST SOMEONE, YOU DON’T KNOW HOW IT FEELS. SOMETIMES PEOPLE JUST GIVE UP.
    ANYWAY…. THAT’S WHAT I THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING. I HOPE YOU ALL TAKE CARE.

  • Forever Missing You

    I have known for almost seven months, but it feels like yesterday as with everything in my life that has to do with him. To many people he was, Jonathan Brandis the Star, Teen Idol, and The “Hot” Guy with blue eye’s from (insert movie or tv show here). For six years I put him in the later catagory, and also became a humungus fan. This all changed the day I laid eye’s on him in person(well over ten years ago). Before I even spoke to him, my image of him changed, he became a real human being, who just had an intriging job. He was nothing but, nice, gentle, and heaven forbid you tell him to rush while he was talking to someone (he told some people off while he and I were talking). We talked long enough for girls and women to call me a (female dog), and to ask me if I was his girlfriend. Before I said goodbye i gave him and kiss on the cheek, saying thanks for the conversation, he kissed mine saying he was returning the favor. He then asked my address (yes I did start to converse with him via mail, and did so a few times until my life was hectic as was his). Then almost 4 years ago I decided to write him a letter. To shock and surprise he wrote me back, and added a new autographed headshot (for my big collection of his). The only thing I regret is never telling him, how much HE really meant to me. He had saved a damsel in distress, but the secret damsel never told her secret to her knight in shinning armor. Yes he did save my life one night when I needed someone, and he showed me that dreams do come true, you just have to want them to. The only dream I have wanted was to tell him this in person. I thought a letter would not do the justice. Plus I never wanted him to think he had to live up to anything, or anyone. Somethings just can’t be conveyed to well unless it is in person. This is the Jon I will remember, at first a guy, then a man, who ALWAYS made time for others, who was never egotistical (to me), someone who put others before himself, and someone who did care about other people, more than himself at times. Unless you have been truely suicidal, you will never understand the anguish during the continplating, and the attempting. Don’t pass judgement unless you have been there!!! Jon, thanks for giving me a reason to survive, thanks for giving me a reason not to hide. I will forever wish for a time machine to go back and return the favor to you. I am everything I am, and it is all because of you. Like I told you in my last letter, even when I am gone, you’ll be here in me, and still dear to me. I love you, and will be forever missing you. I will see you one day on the otherside. Tell everyone how you feel, they may not be here tomorrow. Also, Suicide in a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

  • Jessi

    I just wanted to say i had the biggest crush on Jon for every me and my friends adrienne compared pictures of him..watched all his movies he was our movie night guy to watch..wall plastered with him..we were weird we wore the same plaid shirts he did obsessed we were with him..my mom still reminds me of how in love i was with him till this day i am now 23..and my family still reminds me of ” do you remember when you loved jonathan brandis and you even tried to sound like him..” i don’t remember that but i was in love with him never ever missed an episode of seaquest…he was and always willl be too special for me and i didn’t even know him..i wanted to for so long…i will soon enough meet him..in god’s kingdom…

  • Eric Olsen

    how did this one get in without a name?

  • Lynnette

    When i first noticed about his death was on June 2004. I was watching VH1 and it was showing how all the childhood stars grew up and had alot of problems. and it talked about how some of them passed away. Then it said like Jonathan Brandis who committed suicide and i was like (no that couldnt be the guy who im thinking of!!) and i went to us.imdb.com and looked it up then one day the movie Ladybugs was on and it said starring Jonathan Brandis and then i knew it was true. I felt realy bad he seems like a great guy. He had the cutest face and smile i just couldnt beleive it. Then i remembered when i found out that him and Tatyana Ali hooked up i was so happy for them. I though dang she is so LUCKY!! because he was really cute and had the sweetest smile. But im just confused why he did it. i wish we could of known the reason. Then i think i wished someone could of saved him from doing this.

  • Abaa

    We can still do something for him. Pray
    When People killed their selves, they have to stay on earth since the day they have to die. (punishment) Then it can gets worse or better. But a prayer can help. Pray for the ones are not on heaven and on hell. Pray for Jonathan

  • Annie J

    Hi I learned about his death through my brother who had once been his friend while growing up as a child star. He found out through there mutual friend James Marsden and when he told my sisters and I we couldn’t believe it. My sister who is closer in age had followed sea quest just because of johnathan. It saddend us but watching my brother go trhough struggles after his career didn’t go any furthur gives me an understanding to what kind of damage it can do. He was a true artist with an amazing ability to touch so many people’s hearts. Rest In Peace my dear boy

  • Kagcan

    Like others I just found out about Jonathan’s death. I’m as shocked as the next person. I was simply on the computer looking him up because I had such a crush on him when I was younger. He was one of my first major crushes. I had SeaQuest on video to watch over and over as well as any movies I could get my hands on of his. I can’t believe such a talented star could do this to himself. I hope he is in a better place now and he is finally happy. As for his family, no one can replace their loss but I hope they can make peace with it one day as well.

  • cathy

    when i found out that jonathan killed himself, i wanted to throw up. i had a good friend commit suicide in the mid 80’s her family never got over it and to this day it still hurts. my cousin was murdered 13 years ago and we miss her dearly. the sadness is something that never really goes away, but we go on. so to the family and friends of jonathan my heart goes out to you. but remember he is in a great place and our loss is HIS gain. goodbye to truly a wonderful actor we all love you jonathan

  • Mike

    Yes. I am one of those who only recently learned of Jonathan’s death by surfing the internet. Sad story. Only wish I could learn more of his last days. Interestingly enough, I am also 27 and I think I understand why Jon wanted to go. Sometimes when you try so hard and still fail, it can take a toll on you. This young man acted all his life but never had a breakout role as an adult. Sadly, I think if he had waited just a little longer, he would have been one of those actors that made a huge comeback. One of those actors that would make you say, ” I remember that guy. We used to love him and we still do.” But he probably got tired of waiting, or perhaps he had other issues with women or personal things we will never know. Whatever the reason, he was so sad that he felt he had nothing to live for. He just wanted to go and we can’t blame him for that. All we can do is miss him and ask, “Why”. He didn’t leave a letter, so I think he wanted to leave his death a mystery. Farewell Jon, you are in my thoughts.

  • Daisy Rodriguez

    I WAS A BIG FAN OF JONATHA BRANDIS I ALLWAYS TOUGHT THAT HE WAS SUCH A HOTTIE, AND I GOT MAD WHEN HE KISSED OTHER GIRLS IN MOVIES,BUT THAT DIDN’T MATTER BECAUSE HE DIN’T KNEW ME.WHEN I HEARD THE NEWS THAT HE SUCIDE HIMSELF I WAS REALLY SAD BECAUSE I REALLY CARED ABOUT HIM SINCE I FIRST SAW HIM IN THE MOVIE LADY BUG.I HOPE HIS RESTING IN PEACE…

  • http://Cubanqt301@aol.com Elisa

    I had just Recently found out of Jonathon’s Death i quickly Bursted into tears i had seen him in so many movies and thought wow! hes awesome and will make it so far but for something this horrible to happen to such a wonderful person with a great future ahead of him it breaks my heart and i honesty would give so much for him to come back. To his Family he will always be with you and make it threw this hard time
    R.I.P Jonathon Brandis You will be incredibly missed,
    Elisa

  • sharonda

    JONATHON BRANDIS I JUST FIND OUT ABOUT HIM TODAY FOR THE PEPOPLE THAT SAID HE SHOULD BURN IN HELL HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF HE SAID THAT TO YALL YOU WOULD NOT LIKE IT WOULD YOU JONATHON BRANDIS REST IN PEACE FOR HIS FAMILLY AND FRIENDS WE KNOW THAT YOU WILL MISS HIM JONATHON BRANDIS REST IN PEACE WE WILL MISS YOU VERY MUCH GOODBYE

  • Michelle

    I was a big fan bac in the day, and I still am. Its sad that Jon gave up on life so short, I was looking forward to see him in the future, I just hope he’s opened some eyes on how much it can hurt your loved ones, if you feel like doing the same. Don’t. Think of how much your loved in your life by family and friends.

  • http://www.pitriff.com Chris Akin

    I for one couldn’t be any happier that Jonathan Brandis ended it all! I always thought Lucas was the little fairy of the Seaquest team, and am extremely glad that he had his wings plucked! This couldn’t be better if he would have drowned diving to save a man he thought was a drowning Roy Schneider with his leg in the mouth of a big fish. Seaqueer was a sexually inadequate show which defined it’s gayness by it’s fans. I’ll bet all of you mourn the loss of Danny Pintauro as well. Another dead queen!

  • christie

    Hi my names Christie im from Australia i just learnt about jonathan’s death 1 hour ago see i thought i would hire some childhood movies which i had not seen for awhile the never ending story 2 was 1 of them. i love that movie i decided to go on the internet to see what jonathan was up to now days, i hadnt heard from him since sea quest and was wondering what he was doing now. I was so upset to see he had commited suicide at first i thought someone had made up a really bad cruel joke but it no it was unfortunatly true. I am still crying now as im typing this dont know the reason y he decided to kill, himself and i guess we never will he was such a stunning actor a beautiful really hot looking guy his eyes where so beautiful, his acting so awesome. I 2 have tried 2 commit suicide and I often go to bed thinking i wish i would never wake up i hate my life. All i want to say is that i feel for his family and friends and i wish them all my love and may he rest peacefully in gods hands. Jonathon u will always be in my heart forever.

  • aby

    this is tragic! I have only known about jon’s death since february of this year and when I read the headlines i found on google.com looking for pictures of him, I discovered the horrible knews and I fell off my chair in tears. I’m only 16 but I’ve been in love with jonathan brandis since I was seven years old and when I get married I am going to name my first son after him. I have two brothers named jonathan and gregory and when I found out that jon had died I felt like I had lost both of my brothers! I instantly dropped to my knees and begged God to protect them!
    Many of you will tell me I am harsh for saying this but unfortunatley it is true!jonathan is sadly in Hell now because he wasn’t a christian when he died.and I know for certain that no christian would ever kill themselves. In John 3:16 It reads “FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON,THAT WHOSOEVER BELIEVETH IN HIM,SHOULD NOT PARRISH BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE”. jON DIDN’T BELIEVE. AND HE DIDN’T KNOW JESUS CHRIST AS HIS SAVIOUR that is why he is now suffering in the dark flames of hell. It hurts me to have to say that but I know its true. but I must say to someone out there who said that he or she was glad that jon was dead and quote”hoped he fried in Hell”unfortunately you got your sick wish!But how dare you be so hateful to jonathan? just because he killed himself doesn’t make him a bad person and we respect him as an actor and as a person,we do not respect the fact that he committed suicide…..or did he? I personally believe that jon was possibly murdered. I don’t know this for sure but something inside me says jon could never have killed himself. he was to happy with his life.
    if anyone would like to talk to me about jonathan and has something nice to say about him(I’ll will tolerate no jonathan haters!) please contact me at ponderosalover16@yahoo.com
    ecclesiastes 8:1-9

  • aby

    oh yeah and to someone else out there. jonathan brandis was not gay! for your information he dated lots and lots of girls! so there! just because jon needed a haircut alot of the time doesn’t make him a fruitloop! all of you jonathan haters out there,how dare you! you wouldn’t like it if somebody said that about you now would you?huh? I didn’t think so.SO STOP DISSING JON!!!! I get so ticked off when people bad mouth jonathan brandis. QUIT THROWING DIRTY CURVES!!!!!!!!

  • R. Garcia (Gar)

    So much hatred and venom for someone so totally undeserving of it. Jonathan was a friend of mine, though not nearly as close as Jason Marsden or Ty Tan. The attacks from the ignorant are nothing new to me. Jonathan was putting up with the jealous tirades of the uninformed when he was only thirteen. He wondered then why people hated him so much (seaqueer?) and why they insisted that he was a spolied self-centered kid with no talent.

    He was so much more than even the Jonophiles are willing to give him: generous, pure, talented, gentle, beautiful inside and out. Speak only good of the dead. Someday all of us will be in the next world, and whatever deeds we have done will be judged by those we’ve left behind. The ignorant will throw rocks, if that’s the only thing that they have, and the ones who love you will hurt for it. Some of them, if they can rally the sytrength, will try to protect your name, your legacy, if they can. Some of them will just be too overwhelmed.

    Jon isn’t here to defend himself against the haters and idiots who want him to have been on drugs or insane or “damned” because their book says so. He was quite well aware of what he was doing, even in the end, and had made the decison with a clear mind and conscience – if that’s believable.

    Maybe all of the non-stop rumors and the fighting with the ignorant over his image – which he had kept so carefully by NOT doing all of the things that so many others had fallen victim to, finally got to be too much for him. Something finally made him leave us, and we are all the lesser for it.

    And, yes, I DO think about him every day. Every hour. Sometimes every minute. I have a “life”, but he took a great big chunk of it with him, and it’s going to be a long time until things become normal again. If they ever will.

    Jonathan never asked anything of me but to listen and be there when he needed advice or info, or just needed a laugh. He often asked me about depression, suicide, mortality, the afterlife, death in general.

    I never figured out, until now, why he was so interested.

    But I can’t be angry, only hurt. He LEFT hell to go somewhere else, I’m sure. The haters and the detractors only prove to me that he was right that this place just wasn’t ever going to be fair to him, no matter what he did for the rest of us.

    So long, J-Dog. See you on the other side. -Gar

  • aby

    Gar,thank you for your comments about jon. I never knew him,but hearing things about him from his friends always brings me closer to him. I love jon very much and I miss him terribly,but I can’t just lay back and pretend that everything is hunk-dory for jon now when I know all too well that it isn’t. I know we would all like to think that our loved ones who have passed from this earth as jon did are in heaven,and I hate to have to say this because it’ll really hurt you,but I have to say it beacause the Bible says it. And if the bible says it then its the truth. Unfortunatley, you can’t leave hell and go somewhere else,its impossible! Once you’re there,thats it.You’re there for eternity. Jon was sadly not a Christian,even though he was a good guy doesn’t make him a christian.In the Bible in ROMANS 3:10 IT READS”As it is written, there is none righteous,no,not one.”
    And it says about those who will be judged in hell in 2nd Peter 2:4-“For if God spared not the angels that sinned, but cast them down to hell,and delivered them into chains of darkness,to be reserved unto judgement.”
    Jon may have done a lot of really good things in his short life,but good works don’t get you to heaven. You need God to get there,you have to believe that God sent his son Jesus Christ to earth to die on the cross for us and you have to believe that when Christ died,he shed his blood in order to pay the penulty for our sins,and save us from our sins. God’s son died in our stead and we have to believe that. In John 3:16 it reads”For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son,that whosoever believeth in him,should not perish,but have everlasting life.”
    Jon didn’t believe that,he wasn’t a christian,therefore when he died,he didn’t pass into everlasting life in Heaven with the Lord Jesus Christ,but he passed into everlasting death,and can never be brought back.Ever,Plus when you die you won’t see jon,at all,not even if you do become a christian,because despite what people think,hell is not a party ground where you go and “party with your buddies.” It is a dark,painfull,horrible place.It is so dark there that if you were to place you own hand two inches from you face,you wouldn’t be able to see it. no matter how hard you strained your eyes,Its also a place of pain,suffering and horror,for as you are alone burning in an isolated area,you will hear nothing but the screams for mercy that the dead surrounding you are crying. therefore,you won’t see jon ever again,none of us will. you may hear him screaming in agony to God to please take his finger and dip in a bucket of water just so that he may cool his tongue,but even that will not happen.
    It is very sad,to think that someone so loving,so kind,so beautiful,and someone who was loved by so many,could be in a place as horrible as hell. I wish you could leave that horrible place and pass into heaven,but unfortunately,this is not so. For any of us.
    In his short life jon touched so many peoples hearts, and now that he is gone,so many people have mourned his loss,including myself. I loved jon very,very,very much,even though I never knew him,he still managed to leave a place in my heart that will and can never be filled by anyone ever again. that place in my heart belongs to jon and it always will. Jon has been imortalized by film and has left a void in all of hearts. We will never forget him…. ever.

  • Eric Olsen

    I find this thread touching and unspeakably sad – it reminds me that celebrities are real people too and that life isn’t any easier just because you are well-known

  • Nell

    I just found out what happened… it’s so sad, I sit here in my room, tears in my eyes… It’s hard to accept, that someone, I had a crush on when I was a little girl, is now dead.
    I really hope, that you found peace Jonathan, and everything else that you didn’t found in life.
    With best wishes to his family, friends and fans – and everyone, who lost a friend.
    Nell

  • Raymond Garcia

    Aby- When I said he left hell for someplace else, I was speaking of HERE. THIS existence. In a world where people use their religion and supposed religious or national supremacy to others to kill or condemn, then it’s very hard to keep faith in ANY organized religion or state. Without some kind of faith, however, there is an empty place in one’s heart, and Jonathan was no exception. He WANTED to believe. We talked about it endlessly. He wanted to be convinced that there was a greater power that was benevolent and loving – but the evidence of (his?) supposed faithful in their narrowminded and homicidal approach to everything on earth made that possibility anything but apparent to him. So he felt betrayed and lost: by his faith, by his peers, by his country. If DEATH seemed preferable to living in this world, his perceptions, filtered through depression, must have been pretty grim. It was worse than anyone could have imagined to spur him to destroy himself. Like I said before, I don’t agree with his solution, but I can sympathize with why he would do it. He knew the hurt he would cause, mourned the cruelty of the world around him and didn’t want to be part of that problem, but the hurt he was feeling overpowered even that amazing level of concern for others – the one that kept him going for so long. In the final analysis, it was the world that didn’t deserve him, despite Jon’s belief that he didn’t deserve to live in the world anymore. And for that, for my friend, for my student, for the loss to this planet of something beautiful and talented, for the desolate sadness that finally consumed him, I grieve.

  • Julianna

    i don’t know why he did it, like everybody else.
    Like everybody else i was shoked when i heard.
    What more can i say?I even dreamed to meet the man one day…
    Rest in peace Jonathan!
    We still love you!

  • Jenni

    When I was a little girl, my mom would use Jon as an incentive for me to do things I didn’t like. One small example, I hated orange juice and tea, but when I was sick my mom knew she could get me to drink them by mentioning him. “Do it for Jonathan!” she would say, and I would gulp them down. I loved his movies, watched them over and over when I was little, and he stayed in my heart. It didn’t matter that I didn’t see him in later movies; he was like those old friends who you don’t see frequently but you always have a connection with them from the lasting impression they made on you and the warm memories they gave you. In my heart, the thoughts of him were nice memories that made up a big part of my childhood; he was the first boy I ever loved. I’ve always thought it was stupid to have feelings for celebrities because you don’t know them, but after seeing his movies, hearing his interviews, learning stories of how sweet he was with his fans, and realizing how down-to-earth he was, I always felt something for him. The fact that he killed himself doesn’t have any effect on my respect or love for him. I am a Catholic, but I do not believe that suicide is a sin that condemns you to hell because as a Catholic, I think free will is a greater gift than life. It’s not for any of us to judge the motives behind Jon’s suicide, whatever they were. I just get frustrated with people who think in black and white – “he killed himself, so he must be in hell”. Many good people have taken their lives, and if you are a true believer in the Catholic faith you know God forgives and loves anyone and everyone, especially those who have had a hard time. Jon said in one interview that he wouldn’t recommend starting early in the acting business because it was really difficult for him. If you have been a child movie star, gone through depression, or thought about suicide, then you have a right to say something about his act but otherwise, let’s remember him in a loving way by remembering the brightness he brought to Hollywood through his acting and his refreshingly down-to-earth personality. I personally believe that people like him should not be in the acting business because their sweetness, genuiness, and innocence gets trampled on by the fakeness and pressure of Hollywood, making them easy targets for depression. I will always love him and am planning to commemmorate his 1 year anniversary on November 12th. I’ll end this with the one quote that I think we all should have told him a long time ago: “To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world”. I’m sure he was the world to many people; I know he will be a part of mine always. Love you, RIP my angel.

  • aby

    i now wonder about where jon really is.I was so sure before,but now,I don’t know.I hope Jon is in heaven.I have been told by someone at my christian school that Jon wanted to know more about God,that he knew God existed and thirsted for salvation,but no one ever told him how to recieve Christ.
    this thought has made me happy,and in a way sad.happy that he loved God and wanted to be saved,and sad that no one ever told him how to get saved.
    i have been told by one of my christian peers that because Jon did believe,that he would be tried as a believer on the Judgement day.And that perhaps he will be in heaven when I get there. I pray this is true. and to this day I have been searching my Bible trying to find if it is true or not. I pray with all my heart that it is.
    God bless you Jon! rest in peace my love!

  • alisha

    I hope he in heaven and he happy I have depression since 14 now 24 I worry some day I will kill myself because of my depression I feel so much pain everyday I try the meds they did not work I”m scared to go back on meds There part of me that want to lived because I”M still here and part of me that want to diead. Growing up I alway’s thought jonathan brandis was hot and loved him in ladybugs and sidekicks I cant help but think about jonathan because I feel the same way I want to do same thing that 50,000 people do a year kill their self I just hope I can make it throught life if dont than feel I could not help it because of my depression. I dont hate people that kill theirself they cant help it I think it’s wrong if you kill yourself but some people cant help it I would never hate people because of that reason If I do kill myself some day I hope people that know me dont hate me for it.

  • Alissa, Katie and Inez

    We’re Canadian, and we JUST found out that Jonathan passed away, a year later… we had NO idea whatsoever and we are shocked. We’re sorry to those who loved and lost him. We’ll all miss him.

  • aby

    alisha,don’t lose hope hun,just trust in the Lord.he’ll help you through your troubles,he helped me! I still miss Jon,but thanx to God I have no more pain!and my depression….gone! just trust in the Lord sweetheart.it’ll all get better soon,you’ll see.

  • Elizabeth

    Well, it was nearly one year ago…
    I have just read everything you wrote here and I decided to write something from myself as well. I can’t call myself a great Jonathan’s fan as most of you – I am much older than him so I rather treat him as a younger brother. I even wasn’t interested in him as an actor but I must agree I like all the films he acted in. I am still a great fan of Seaquest (don’t think that someone who is nearly 40 can’t like such films, I like SF and films like this, I have always been in the habit of watching such films). You express a lot of very different opinions on Jonathan, his life, the way he died. You wrote about God, religion, Satan, hell. Do you think it is as easy as you wrote? How can you judge other people especially when you don’t know them at all? Do you know what Jonathan felt, what he thought of? Nobody knows that. However, he wasn’t a bad or wicked human being. You can’t find anything bad of him – drugs, scandals, crime. Some of you wrote that he wasn’t a Christian and because of that he is in hell. How can you tell such a thing? What do you know about life? It is not as easy as you think. What is more – even if we die we live forever. However, you can’t say that Jonathan is in hell or in heaven. If you know the Holy Bible as well as you wrote above and if you consider yourself to be a real Christians you should know that only God has a right to judge people and nobody goes to hell or to heaven at the very moment he/she dies. There will be the final judgement day when our Heavenly Father will judge all of us. So even Satan has to wait for this day and then he has to wait till God will decide who will stand on his right or left side and who won’t deserve this. The earth doesn’t belong to Satan but everything here belongs to God – even Jonathan. You wrote that he wasn’t a Christian, a believer but do you think that you are better than him? I am a Christian, I pray every day, I go to church every Sunday but I can’t say I am better than him. Each of us has good and bad qualities. If he wasn’t a Christian and you were his greatest fans and as some of you wrote you had a chance to talk to him, write to him – is there anybody who told him about your faith then? Didn’t you think he just hadn’t had any chance to know God? So here, my dear Christian brothers and sisters, is something for you in the Bible: If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at him”
    And some words to Mr. R. Garcia. I am very grateful to you for your precious friendship you would able to give Jonathan. But please, don’t judge God and religion only because of all the people who call themselves Christians. I agree with you that Jonathan would be fed up with all this life on the earth because it is really sometimes unbearable. However, this is not God’s fault but people’. And believe me although I like your friend very much I must tell this – he did a very bad thing, a thing that hurt God so much but God isn’t a tyrant and he will judge everyone in a righteous way. And because of this ,because of the fact that Jonathan was one of the lost lambs I pray to God for him every day and I believe that it is not a waste of time. What is more, Jonathan had his guarded Angel as all of us – no matter if you are Christian or not. And he had a very good one. The proof for this is that Jonathan didn’t die at one when he hung himself, his angel fought for him with Satan and because of this Jonathan died in a decent way in hospital. And now there is a field for all of you dear Christians – you are here to help not only those who are alive but also for those who are dead. So if you loved Jonathan as much as you declare, just pray for him every day, it will help him because there is also written: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged (…) Ask and it will be given to you. For everyone who asks receives”. And so please, ask God with all your heart to forgive Jonathan and our good Heavenly father will surely listen to your prayers.
    Sorry for any mistakes in English, however this is not my mother tongue but I hope you will understand what I would like to tell you.

  • Ruth

    Yesterday I had sudden urge to find out what Jonathan Brandis was up to. When I read he died a year ago I would not accept it. I had to continue researching to find out if and how he died. When I read it was a suicide it was like two bulldozers hit me from each side. One because he had in fact died and the other because of the way he died. Jonathan was the first boy I ever liked, I was 9 years old and over the years my feelings just grew stronger. I had a club house build just so I could put all his pictures on the walls. I was obsessed with him and I swore that when I turned 18 I would go to California and meet him, but alas I am now 23 and I was not able to make that trip to see him and now I never will be able to meet him. I told my parents about his death and I couldn’t stop crying, I just couldn’t believe this person who I loved so much was no longer alive. I felt that a small part of my heart died when I found out. I am very sad and I just pray that the Lord have mercy on his soul and to have him in his grace. My condolences to his parents

  • hubert

    a shock!

  • hubert

    how can he do that fool thing?it’s incredible.he could bring us more wonderful series and films,give us more happiness.his good face should bring us more sunshine.what a pity!he passed away!i’ll miss him forever!my mother tongue is not english.so i have no chance to know more about the pretty actor.the first i know him was in this summer(3rd/Aug/2004)when i saw a film from him called “the good king”.his good face and fluent english give me a deep impression.i got the news of his death a week ago.coz i just got a pc then.i’ll miss him forever.his legendwill never cease.

  • http://none.com Bob A. Booey

    You people are weird. I’m sure he was a nice kid and he had a pretty face, but settle down. He wasn’t the Messiah.

    That is all.

  • Jenny

    I was truly shocked to discover the death of a childhood actor who I grew up watching on movies. I will always remember him in my heart. I wish that something like this never happened and my heart goes out to all of his fans and family. My favorite movie was always Steven King’s IT, and I think Jonathan was a cute little actor in that movie. He really had a lot of talent. I remember when I was 9 and I saw him on The Neverending Story II, I thought he was such a cutie. It’s so hard to believe that he is gone, but he is not gone from our hearts. We love you Jonathan.

  • Eric Olsen

    With the bizarre invasiveness of the media nto our lives, I find it fascinating that there are still people “shocked” by this news over one year after the fact. For some reason, this was one story the media in general just didn’t run with – too sad? Not sad enough? Not a big enough star? No obvious moral?

  • A friend

    To all friends and fans:

    I spent a great deal of time inside myself, as if in my own world, screened off from everything else. But there was no world there inside me, only a kind of nothing layer, a neither-nor, a state of being hollow without being empty or filled without being full. It just was, inside myself. This emptiness wasn’t tormenting in itself. I was inside the emptiness and the emptiness was inside me – no more than that. It was nothing but an extension of time – I was in that state and it just went on. But the sense of unreality and of always being wrong when I was out in the world, outside myself, was harder to bear. And every time it happened, I became even more sensitive and felt I was one great Failure.
    J.B.

  • 3vil 3ric

    OMFGOMFG! A B rated actor hung himself. But why, he was sooo loved and shit. he had all the money in the world. When your depressed,..your depressed. Depressed people kill themselves if they dont get help or medication in time. The fact is, no one probably knew for a long time. We all didnt know him, and alot of people die everyday,..so fuck Jon Brandis,..fuck him in his coffin

  • R, Garcia

    Oh, EvilEric, your name fits so well. May the red storm winds of Karma find your ever-so-deserving ass and all the merits you have gained in this world and the next come to you. “What goes around comes around”, my friend. Think about THAT when you’re breathing your last. Who have YOU hurt (or helped) in this world? And who’s keeping track of THAT little statistic?

    If this many people log onto the Internet to remember (or diss) you, count yourself very lucky.

    I, my friend, won’t be one of them.

    Someone who DID know J.B.

  • http://fullhouse033.nm.ru Rather Faraway

    It’s a fact that many people are not going to forget him. Whatever some occasional strangers would say about him, he was a very special human being. Neither jealousy, nor time can’t eliminate this.

  • Lindsay

    okay.. I am so out of the loop… I just found out.. I am in shock….

  • Amber

    Why? That is all I can think. If it is true that he told friends that he was thinking of suicide why didn’t someone talk to him? Why did he do it with his friends there? Was he hoping that maybe someone would stop him and then maybe someone would help him? He was loved but I guess he didn’t realize how much. He was a special human being and he didn’t even know it. He was apart of my childhood and therefore he will be in my thoughts everyday. I will never beable to forget him. It is like loosing a childhood friend.

    Some people have posted things like he will go to hell, or he wasn’t that special, just a B actor. Maybe to you that was all he was but not to his family, his friends, and his fans. He doesn’t have to be special to you. He just was special to us for our own reasons. In some small way he effected our lives, changed them. Because of that, because of the lives he touched and made better, I can never think God would put him in Hell. I know he is in Heaven, looking down and surprised at how loved he truely was. We may be considered “fans” but most of use feel much more connected to him some way. I can honestly say there is not another actor’s death that would break my heart like Jonathan’s. Like so many apart of my childhood has died though is may be hard for the haters to understand that. Though I never met him, he is the childhood friend I will never see get married or have children and that breaks my heart.

    Jon you will be missed. God bless you and your family.

    In my prayers
    Amber

  • Tristan

    I’m sorry but maybe I’m more naive than I thought I was at 51 years old~~~~

    It baffles me that an individual human being can be in so much pain and hurt that they are so miserable that they need to react to someone committing suicide by saying that they “should burn in hell” ~

    it’s so easy to automatically “react” according to “popular thought” —
    such as in the recent case of the Atlanta “Escapee-killer”—
    saying what a “monster” they are
    and they should be “killed” —

    I was listening to Ashley’s account of talking to him while he kept her hostage–and I saw her thinking of his talk and thoughts as they spoke–I saw Ashley start to cry and thought that she really saw him as just another human being along on this wild unpredictable ride we all are on and none of us volunteered for~~~

    Who knows what goes on inside any other human beings real thoughts and feelings~

    the old Indian saying says it so aptly:
    “walk a mile in the other’s moccasins before you criticize them” …….

  • Stefanie Wingebach

    Hey you guys, I am so amazed that this blog has been going on for so long. Jonathan did commit suicide, and some of you say that if you do, you go to hell. But I think he is an angel in heaven from all the prayers and pleads that all of us wonderful people have been asking God to forgive Jonathan. I never even knew about Jonathan Brandis until last month, and ever since then I fell in love with him and his soft angelic blue eyes. It wasnt until the next day that I realized that he was dead and not well and living. Man that was a slap in the face for me. Well, I still pray for Jonathan every night, and I hope that he is in Gods unconditional loving wings and that he remains in complete peace and harmony.

    Love you Jonathan, and will NEVER forget you…

    RIP

    -stef-

  • Octo

    Still to this day whenever I think of Jon it breaks my heart. He was one of the most beautiful boys I have ever seen. The saddest part about his tragic death is that he must have felt he had nobody he could confide in. I don’t think we will ever know what drove him to take his own life.

  • http://blueyes ashley

    i am so deeply sad over this… i found out about 6 months ago and i didnt want to believe it… for a person so full of life and energy stole it from his self is more than i could handle i was introduced to this wonderful actor not personally but through his movies thanks to my sister and her extreme love for him and his work…from ladybugs to seaquest…he was so gifted and my heart goes out to him and his family….jon you will always be remembered

    and if anyone has any info on a movie called bad girls….valley high. an actor that looks exactly like jonathan is in that movie…it literally freaked me out to where i almost started to doubt the rumors of his death… but i found out for sure a few days ago although i am curious to know if this person is a relative..it looks to much like our dear departed jonathan brandis

    to jons family: you are in my prayers

  • http://blueyes ashley

    just a quick news flash from me again…i found out about that movie.. i think it is jonathan in the movie but it was made in 2000.. it just never got any publicity..which is why it isnt being released until now so if anyone wants to see what might have been his last project its called badgirls…valley high

  • Raymond Garcia

    Actually, you’re right. “A Fate Totally Worse Than Death” was made in 2000, but not released until now as “Bad Girls from Valley High”. There’s an irony in that, as the high school that Jonathan attended really WAS named “Valley High”. In reality, the last film that he did was “Puerto Vallarta Squeeze” in 2002, which is set for release (so they say) on DVD in April. His last project for TV was an unreleased series pilot called, “111 Gramercy Park”. In addition he is credited with a short film completed in 2003 (and after his death) as director and producer, “The Slainesville Boys”. I don’t have any knowledge as to the possibility that he acted in the film as well.

  • Skyler

    hey i was a fan too, but i was wondering who was he dating @ the time of his death. it just a question if anyone knows, email me thanks. blubrezzi_200515@msn.com

  • Amber

    I am ASTOUNDED that insensitive Christian morons would dare to disrupt here the grief of Jonathan’s fans. For one, there is no hell, although I don’t give a crap if you believe that. At the rate you people mistranslate and edit that horrible book of yours to suit your needs, everything’s going to end up being a sin at one time or another. I pity you, that you see God as a spiteful old man who punishes people for being unhappy.

    I’m sorry about the ranting. It’s just awful enough that we’ve lost Jon and all the wonderful work he had yet to do, without rude people spouting their idiotic dogma here.

    Rest well, Jon. Return to us soon.

  • R. Garcia

    “Puerto Vallarta Squeeze” has been released on DVD…in Australia. Hopefully the film will be available in the States soon. Until then, it’s just a waiting game.

  • Ann

    Just reading through all of this and am pretty surprised at the length.
    I’m still a bit saddened by JB’s death, but upon doing some preliminary research on the Internet, I must say I’m more than a little disappointed at the lack of coverage following his death. Even E! Online only minimally noted it. He deserved more…
    His suffering is saddening at any level. He was never in trouble like most others in his shoes, always kind to fans, and had a wealth of friends and close relationship with his family (from what I read).
    As for those calling him a “B” actor, if he really was only a “B” actor, there wouldn’t be hundreds of thousands of fan and fact sites in his name and this discussion wouldn’t be continuing over 2 years after the fact (and you wouldn’t be reading this).
    I think he had lots of untapped potential, he just didn’t get the right chances to live up to it, and was too hard on himself.
    You could watch him on screen and see the inherent magnitude of his sensitivity. Not something I can say I’ve really seen in other actors. Regardless of how things have turned out, I would still say he was special and worth remembering. JMO
    -Ann

  • Candi

    I myself found out about Jonathans death a few months back and was extremely upset. I used to have the biggest crush on him when I was a little girl, as most girls did back then too hehe. I sometimes find myself questioning why he would take his own life and if I had only knew him, I would of stopped him, But that wasn’t the case. I just wish that he would of gotten help. If only someone could of seen the signs. He was a great actor and will always be remembered that way. RIP Jonathan,
    Candi

  • Amanda Messina

    Very well said about Jonathan, and you are so right. When you ask why he did it, you can’t help but figure that it must have been his career and maybe the way he was known in this world, as a teen star. But no, he was much more than that. And you are right about how he must not have seen all the great things he was capable of. But what I will never understand is why he never even left a note, at least to tell his friends and family why he had to take himself away from them. Especially because he was his parents’ one and only child. Why didn’t he stop to think about how much he would hurt them, and ruin their lives? Maybe it was all in the moment, that he just decided to go for it. But if he was so depressed, he should’ve just seeked out help. Instead of taking his life away from so many ppl he loved, and loved him back. I wish we could only talk to you one last time Jonathan, cuz we wish you had thought twice about your decision.

  • Dave

    Never claimed to be the king of current events, but just found out the fate of Jon, and was just as shocked as all of you were. Jon was just about the same age as me, and was one of my favorite younger actors. Couldn’t help but think how cool it would be to hang with him. He was talented and seemed to conduct himself with dignity and respect. I’m not a religious person myself at all, but I do have to say – all of you who do believe in god, hell and whatever else…That is your belief. Don’t go shoving it down people’s throats. Especially people that are grieving. Being in EMS since I was 16 years old, I’ve seen many people take their lives….many young people. It often doesn’t make sense, and is always tragic. But my belief is that people who (for whatever unfortunate reason) decide to take their lives don’t end up burning for eternity, but rather continue to grace our lives in subtle and beneficial ways…..’till we meet again…..

  • michelle

    i remember when i was little having the biggest crush on him and having his posters all over my wall. i remember writing him and getting a autograph pic of him and a letter. (i wish i still had it) my cusin and i were so happy. over the years i grew up and he still remand my fav actor. i think the last time i saw him was in that movie with kellie martin. thinking he was soo hot in that movie. then in 2003 my life changed my 2 friends died (diffrent incendents) then in nov my uncle died from a fail lung. so i was soo depressed i told every1 screw my b-day i dont want to celebrate it. so cut to the chase on nov 20 i think my mom tells me that jon brandis died. i was sad about especially scince he died such a horrible way. then my mom says the bad part it was on your b-day (nov 12th). soo sad. i wish he knew that he had a special talent and fans all over the world. i hope hes at peace. youll always be my first crush! RIP jon

  • joe

    To some of the self proclaimed Christians on here.Your Ignorant arrogance astounds me!As a Christian,I’m embarrassed by some of your comments “If you kill yourself, you go to hell”.The bible also says that “you shouldn’t judge your neighbor”Followed by “every sin holds the same consequences”,and last but not least “All sins are equal”!
    RIP, Mr.Brandis…

  • emma

    ok so it is 2005 im slow i had recently been thinking bout him and i have only just got access to a pc and ive never seen him in any mags so i didnt know a website or anything so i typed sea-quest and it said hes dead i am still shocked coz i only liked him coz of the courage he possesed on sea-quest this is gonna sound strange i know but watching his braveness actually gave me strength to belive in myself sometimes i wish i was up there with him but i dont wanna leave my friends we all miss you and love you see you soon jon love emma xxxxxxxx and to those who said burn in hell i hope you do to

  • myxsux

    Just a question, but why whenever someone dies does everything have to turn into a religious debate? This is insane. Can’t you just honor someone’s memory? Cry for them? Be sad and miss them, and then celebrate their life? Jonathon was a great actor. I am his age and grew up watching him in his shows and movies. Honestly I had a crush on him all the way until the end. He had many accomplishments, and I salute him and his parents. My thoughts are with them even still all this time later as that is a wound that never heals. I hope he is resting in peace, and that he accomplished his final goal – to end his pain.

    Jonathon you are still missed and loved!

    -Jme

  • CJ

    If you commit murder against yourself or others, then it is God’s place to judge where you will spend eternity, not our own judgment.

    However, suicide is a difficult if not impossible sin to be forgiven for, since your death by suicide is a sin, and you can’t come back to repent. Unless, you are revived by paramedics.

    In other words if your suicide failed and you are still living you can repent and be saved, but if your suicide was a success, how can you repent?

  • Sue

    Jonathan Brandis, a highly talented young actor. May you always be surrounded by peace and love. You will be missed terribly by many.
    My thoughts and prayers go out to parents Greg and Mary. May the Lord give you comfort in your time of grief.

    Sue from UK

  • http://alienboysworld.blogspot.com Christopher Rose

    I too was a fan of Seaquest and was shocked to learn this talented young actor was gone.

  • Meghann

    exactly 180 people (181 including me) have said their feelings (bad and good) of Jonathan Brandis. I, myself didn’t find out of his death until 2 or 3 days ago… call me slow, but i was not a true fan of his for a long time. I had seen ladybugs about a billion times, and each time i had thought how cute he actually was… it wasn’t untill last week that i saw sidekicks. After i saw that i knew i just had to find out more about him… then i saw it on the net… “death at 27″… i almost cried! My friends were sad too, but not as sad as me. i am still sulking over it and probably will be for the next few weeks to come… I know that sulking will proove nothing, but i feel as though i just lost about 3/4 of my heart…

  • Shenise

    So i’m sitting here 11 at night. Scrolling through On Demand on cable. I come to the s section, and lo and behold the movie sidekicks. I scream to my husband of 5 months that he has to come watch this movie with me. I haven’t seen it since I was all of 12 years old…oh about 11 years ago. I remeber rushing to the theather to see johnathan brandis in his new movie with all my girlfriends. Oh wasn’t he such a hottie with that sort of 90’s style mullett. Tell you the truth, his name slipped my mind for just a second until the credits started to roll. My husband had never seen the movie so I ushered him in to experience a little of my childhood with me. I knew I hadn’t heard from jonathan in a long time so I grabbed the laptop and sat on the bed to see what he was up to. The reminiscent smile slowly left my face when the first results of my google search came on the screen. I barely remember how much I was in love with him, but as I read more and more about jonathans premature death,a little bit of my childhood seems to be chipped away. It’s almost the same feeling I get when I hear of someone I grew up with, Or went to school with died. This whole thing just makes me feel about 4 years too late, which I am, and way, way old, eventhough I’m only 25. It’s almost morbid watching someone on t.v. who’s dead. It’s almost like watching a ghost, but at the same time, it’s the only way to keep that person alive. Right now, I feel so so thankfull for my life,and my familly. The thing I feel most sad about is the state that poor man must have been in that evening. I just hope he’s not suffering any more, and I hope his familly has been able to find peace also………

  • Cindy Sue

    As a 40-something, I am definitely way past the age of most JB fans. As a cancer survivor, I have almost completely stopped watching news shows because they depress me so. So it is understandable that I did not find out about this tragedy until now, January 2006 – over 2 years after his death. As a sufferer of depression in the past, I can certainly sympathize with his problems. But I still can’t understand his suicide. It has upset me much more than I ever thought such a thing could – that I could be so traumatized by the death of someone I never met or knew in any real way. I am painfully sorry it happened and feel the depression trying to creep back in now. I am touched by the kind thoughts of some who have posted here and horrified by the hatefulness of others. I hope Jonny truly can rest in peace now. Many will miss him terribly, including myself.

  • Dragoness

    I knew. I have known for a long time. I just now found this site. I will not debate religion, as I am Wiccan, and the whole heaven/hell issue is beyond me. If Jonathan suffered from depression, then he had a mental illness. This is not a slam, as I suffer from it, as well as other disorders, myself. Sometimes there is just nothing you can do to make the ugliness and the pain of the world any better. Some people just cannot cope with it. The hatred, the jealousy, the judging. It just gets to be too much. I am a few weeks younger than Jon was, and yes, I was a big fan of seaQuest, DSV (I even named the sheltie puppy I got for my birthday in 1994 Lucas). I recently bought the first season on DVD. I was sad as I watched the first episode, knowing that he was gone. But then, I just let him make me smile. That is what he would want. He was an entertainer for a reason. I can’t say I loved him, as I never knew him. I was a fan, and I had a deep appreciation for his talent. Even though I am saddened by his loss, Gar says that he WAS in his right mind when he made his decision to leave this hideous, oppresive, judgemental mudball, and I respect that decision. I am sure he didn’t want to die, he just didn’t want to live here anymore. I can relate to that. But, as a mother now, with two boys of my own, I can’t make the decision to go. My pain is nothing, compared with the pain it would cause my babies if I were to leave. As a mother, I feel for his mother. To lose your baby at such a young age. But, whatever happens to the soul when we leave this plane, I know he is free. Free from the pain, the sorrow, and anything else he may have been through. Words mean so little once you are gone, so for those fans upset by the words of the small-minded haters, just remember, nothing they say can hurt Jonathan anymore, and they will get theirs when the day comes. Karma. Google that.

  • Steve

    Well, I only just watched some reruns of Seaquest in the last year for the first time, after hearing of his death. (I remembered him from “Ladybugs”, with Rodney Dangerfield, but not much else). His character, Lucas, on the show, seemed to feel he was an outsider in some ways, I have since wondered how much he identified with the character, and if those negative feelings he shared with his character, somehow contributed to his death. However, I don’t know anything about his life offscreen, so I can only speculate. It’s always a shame to see someone that young die so young.

  • Good gal

    Amber RETURN TO US SOON you think hes gunna walk again or something ? Come back alive im christian too and we arent morons the unbelievers are minds are futile meaning DONT MEAN A THING TO GOD …read the bible since you need it

    love you jon for ever
    iluvjonb

  • HOlds her own

    Does anyone know if he was christian i saw him with a cross once just asking ?

  • Charlie

    Just found out about his death two days ago on a page which listed young hollywood deaths. I was really taken back. Why did this happen?

    Then I went and read his list of movies, Jon stopped making any I knew a long time ago. I read how he once starred in and wrote an episode for Speilbergs show SeaQuest.

    Then I realized why he wasn’t happy. All his good days were behind him, and he wasn’t making the progress he wanted.

    He had set the bar so high as a teen that he couldn’t reach it. Probably as a teen he thought he was on the ladder to the top, what he didn’t realize was that was the top, and he wasn’t going to go any higher.

    I did a google image search for his name, and you see all the young pics with one or two of him looking mid 20s. The look wasn’t the same guy. Hes way too serious, he looks old and a tad bit creepy.

    The tradegy of his death was a result of the death of his youth. He had probably been in mouring of it for 4 or 5 years by that stage.

    It was probably this and a combination of other things, but he just got to his point where he had had enough.

    What we’re left with is a sense of what a waste.
    It will be weird to watch any of his movies now, knowing how it will end for him.

    Rest in Peace Jon, I hope you’ve found your smile again.

  • Kathryn

    I remember reading my People magazine three years ago and being in shock over the suicide of this precious boy. I was 33 and had a son who had just turned 3 and I was pregnant with my daughter. Skip three years forward and I am watching The Neverending Story 2 with my son who is 5 and my daughter who is almost 3 and my heart just sank. When the movie began I thought to myself that that is the boy that took his own life and it made me sick to my stomach. He is so alive in this movie and so adorable. As a mother my heart is breaking. To share this movie with my children and to know the pain this boy would go through is so hard. To know that in 13 years he would say goodbye. This neverending story would in fact end on November 12, 2003. I pray that as a parent my children will never be filled with this void and will prosper in the love that they have been shown.

  • purpal2002002

    i did not beleave my eyes when i read on the net that he killed his self ….i realy do miss him he was one of my fav. actors ..i know i haven’t seen him in a while and wonder why till one night i just said hey what happen to that guy ….realy is sad he seemed so wounderful …..i am so so sorry for his lost at a young age

  • pinay

    this may sound stupid, but not until today i got to learned that jonathan brandis died, almost 3 yrs ago. Where am i when the news spread out?

    I’m still a bit shocked from it. I saw some few flicks he had. Too sad, won’t be seeing him doing films anymore. RIP

  • SI

    RIP.He was a good actor.

  • SI

    I had a huge crush on him and still do.I’ve seen a lot of what he did.Its sad that he ended his life he could have had great things going for him,he was young.

  • Vernon

    I was scanning the TV and found out about Jonathan’s death and I wish this had not been the truth since he was a great actor and I enjoyed him on SeaQuest and Never ending story too. This reminds us that even those who guys might be more handsome than we are, and that girls seem to be in love with all over, and are famous have problems like all of us. I am more and more willing to admit looks, talent don’t prevent our having difficult times.

  • http://www.myspace.com/drpeppertwinkie Ariana

    To this day, I still miss him. It’s so hard to grasp the fact that he is gone. I still see old reruns with him in it, or a movie he was in, and I think to myself, I can’t believe it.
    He was amazing…and its truly devasting. He will always have a place in my heart

    Love always,
    Ariana

  • angie

    I shared the same birhday with Jonathan and always thought that was cool when i was younger.Everything about him I loved.I pray for his family.He was an only child and it must be so difficult for them.I have a daughter and can’t have anymore children so I cherish her everyday.I know JB’s parents are so greatful that we the fans are keeping his memorie alive.

  • angie

    I shared the same birhday with Jonathan and always thought that was cool when i was younger.Everything about him I loved.I pray for his family.He was an only child and it must be so difficult for them.I have a daughter and can’t have anymore children so I cherish her everyday.I know JB’s parents are so greatful that we the fans are keeping his memorie alive.

  • Amy-Jo

    This letter mostly goes to Mary and Greg—
    I don’t really know how to say this, but I really truely feel that Jonathon is free as many others do….I’ve struggled with many health problems as a child, especially with asthma and even was hospitalized with severe lung and heart problems. As a teen I struggled with depression (had suicide attempts) and often looked to Jonathon as “my hero” and watched his movies–My Favorites: Neverending Story and Ladybugs. I just turned 27 on May 6 and on the 2nd, I had just returned home from my 3rd hospital stay and was treated for my mental illness-bipolar.
    I know this website is reserved for Jonathon, but I wanted to let people know of my background before I started saying more about Jon B. I also want to say that I am happily married to my husband Dean and have to beautiful boys.

    I occiassionly had bouts of depression in the 5 1/2 years of being married with children, but generally happy with my family. When I was 24 I had to have open heart surgery. At first, after my surgery I seemed to be okay because I had my husband and 1 1/2 year old son and we just purchased our home and I had plenty of help from relitives and friends, but when January came around I started getting really depressed and started thinking crazy thought of maybe my family would be better of without me. I never intended to take my life, but I might of thought more about if my hubby didn’t started noticing how bad I was getting. He took me to see a professional and then she had recommended hospilization this was actually when I started on my high end of my bipolor so I didn’t understand that there was anything wrong with (I was blocking out the bad). Past mistakes, worries and blamming were all a result of my problems which produced my disease or vice versa.
    At one point I said that I would divote my life to preaching God’s word if he could save me and make me happy again.
    Things looked up for awhile. In August of 2003, I got the chance to be it my Sister-in-Laws wedding and was even the maid of honor. And then I looked forward to my son’s 2nd birthday which is December 19 and then Christmas and Of course one of my favorite movies Lord of the Rings I got to see on the big screen.
    Then there is the death of Jonathon. I believe I didn’t find out until months after he actually died which would have been in February. My sister actually told me who came down from Minneaplis to visit. She brought it up like I knew already because I was such a huge fan……..I recall times in high school watching Ladybugs with my younger sis and close friend and I would always have my face closest to the screen so I seen my hero and having a blast in the tv and wishing I was with him (we would always fight over who loved him the most==I always won).
    Well, I was sad and I couldn’t even really fathom the idea of him killing him self. I went on the internet to find out for myself and only found one small article–the obituary. It made me sad but I didn’t dwell on it because I needed to consitrate on my family. I think only prayed to God that he would be forgiven. I had resently had converted to the Catholic religion and learned that suicides go to hell or to pergatory. I could not accept this because I had known many others that had killed themselves. I pretty much just shut him out of my brain for awhile because it was unfair to think about someone I didn’t really know and about something that I didn’t and still don’t really understand.

    There ended being a murder/suicide in my family on May 8 of 2004 (ironically this was my mom and dad’s aniversary). My mom’s nephew so my cousin (age45 about) shot his wife and himself. He was struggling with depression obviously and they were going through a divorce battle.
    My family is a very mixed up, but I know that we are very good hearted in most things we do and say.
    Because the suicide was in the spring, I think I was okay–I got busy with planting my garden and playing with my son outside. And by the summer I finally found a little sense of peace and so my husband and I conceived a child in July and found that I was Pregnant on our 4th Aniversary on August 13. I thank the Lord above for giving me another wonderful son. We named him Christian John, born April 4, the day after Easter.
    I nursed him until he was almost a 1 and then shortly before his 1st birthday I started feeling aggitated and worried and could not function well and then around Easter I started to get on the high like I could do anything and like I was in heaven and my husband got very worried. I had a vision around the 20th of April and felt some pulling me to a better place……
    Then I was in the hospital and was angry at first that my husband had brought me there.
    I have more to tell. I am being completely honest on everything I say and if I tell any more about the feelings and who’s voice I’ve been hearing, I would only be hurting myself because I don’t want to be told again that it is my illness and I don’t want be people to think that I am a liar or worse yet–plain rude. I will say that I feel, though, that I am at peace, partially, because of JON. And I know that we are at peace because of the Lord, Jesus Christ!

  • Amy-Jo

    Greg and Mary-
    Thank you!
    Sorry I forgot to mention that you must have raised him well or as well as you new how!
    Hope you don’t think of me as foolish, but I felt as though God wanted me to write this so that you new that he is okay!
    -Amy

  • angie

    Amy-Jo
    I thought it was great what you wrote to Mary and Greg.I have had depression too.Things from my chid hood I don’t want to get into.I am sorry you have been through alot.I am 26 and my B day is april 13 like jon’s. Iam married and have a daughter but got real depressed because I had a histerectomy (medical problems).I Know Jon’s parent’s were so greatful to have him.I will pray for them and you.Does writing help you it does me.My husband knows about my child hood and feels bad.He just does not understand.He does not like me on meds.I do take blood presure meds.

  • angie

    God bless you! Jonathan will live on in our hearts.

  • Amy-Jo

    My recent letter was very spontanious and I should have proofread it a little bit better, but I was totally honest in everything I typed. I feel that Jonathan is watching over me now and that he is protecting me from feeling alone. I wrote a letter to him once telling him how I felt about him and I remember getting back an autographed picture and copied letter that said he was sorry he couldn’t write an individual letter to me, but I understood why because there was just too many letters and he had too many that loved him. I was just thrilled that he gave me that and I still have his black and white in my childhood scrapbook.

    My husband is a very busy Computer Programmer and so he gets very tired in the evening so I get a little lost in my feelings, but lately, since I saw a vision as I called it—I saw him breifly in a Dream which was odd because I hadn’t even thought a bit about him since I had heard of his death (when my sis, Angela, told me in Feb. of 04). I feel so incredibly guilty thinking of him so much because I am totally in love with my husband, but maybe I don’t get what I need from him and that is why I feel drawn to my past love (Jon B.). I know my husband does the best he can to make me happy as possibe. I have to say he is my first real love, but we are soo different. I feel like I have more similarities to Jon even though I could never really know him like his father, mother, or x-girlfriend. But I truely feel him in me. I know I may sound like I’m trying to seem apart or special than any other girl that lusted over him because I am not. I actually lost interest after watching a few episodes of Seaquest and then I saw him in some weird movie where he was into drugs and stuff–I got angry that he chose such an odd role or bad roll I should say. I lost faith in him and didn’t even pray for him, let alone myself for that matter……I was around 19 then, and that spring before I turned that age, was when I went into the Department of Behaviorial Medicine and was in the hospital for a week and I was completely wacked out (part of it was I drank, smoked a little much and hung with the bad boys). I ended up dropping out of College for a bit and almost lost my job as a cashier. That summer I vowed not to get rapped up in a relationship because I wanted to save myself for me and someone that didn’t drink or do drugs. Well, I met my husband that following 4th of July and he’s been good to me since. Well, he drinks but is getting better. Just socially drinks which still bothers me a bit because I can’t. Our relationship has been a lot better though since I got out of the hospital on May 2—he tends to my needs more and I do the same for him. Maybe there’s a lot of people like me, I really don’t know. I feel more connected to, but at the same time some independancy. I do love him more and more everyday.

    I don’t want to sound like I know everything because I honestly don’t, but I am definetaly learning a lot about religious people and what they do for others. Whatever you want to call me is anyone’s opinion, but I seem to have him in my head. Seems to be ironic that I would have dreamt of Jon around what would be his 30th birthday and close to my 27th birtday. I started to become really spiritual when I became Catholic and picked my Patron of Saint as Elizabeth of Hungary and really started to use her as my strength the second time I went into the hospital in 2004. She seemed to help find me. Jon recently iced the cake for me.
    God tells me that I may die young–so now I try to live everyday to the fullest. I know maybe I am tampering with the unknown too much, but I pray, too, that I am doing what I am suppose to be doing.
    Talking about this and letting people know of what I am feeling gives me a sense of release. And hopefully I can live without thinking about Jon soo much.
    Since I saw Jon though, I feel more free, in a sense, and more than ever am moving into the future rather than dwelling in the past and finally have some goals besides only raising my boys (which I know is a big deal in itself), but I have dreams for myself of being a writer, singer in my church choir and Leadership in my Mother’s of Preschoolers group. I don’t think am completely freed until I finish typing my feelings of Him.
    I know that Jon is not the mesiah, but I do beleive that God sent him to tell me that I will be okay………And I am sure a lot of others know that he is okay but I feel like I need to really tell others, too, that God is a forgiving God. Though Jon suffered a lot after he died and is still full of guilt, but he tells us to be strong so you don’t miss your chance to run free and fight to know God and his only begotted son. He could have done a lot more with his life, but God had a different plan–one that he didn’t understand as many others, but he did get a second chance. He found God! Because so many prayed he lives in our hearts. He may not be in a so-called heaven right now, but he is around where we can’t necessarly see. I beleive deep down that he is watching over all of his beloved fans and he sends his regrets, but will give back what he took away from soo many……….
    :)
    Now I say to you JONATHAN (son of Moses and Greg of course) our Gardian Please watch over the young girls, especially the ones that never got to know Jesus yet……Protect them from Alcohlic parents and neglecting parents. Show them mother nature and our True God on Earth before they lose control…..help them know that they are pretty, smart and IMPORTANT!!! Little girls get lost easily and need to know that they each have gardian angels….I beg down on bended knee and press in my heart…….. many are hurting and crying out for help—show them the right way so they can blossom into butterfly Princesses!
    Thank you……I hope someday when it is my turn to enter the Kingdom of Heaven that I get a chance to meet you, but until then I have work to do so please don’t hover over me—I don’t want to faulter to lusting you rather than my husband because he really needs me, as well as my 2 beautiful sons.
    Your beloved friend, Always and Forever!—Amy

  • Amy-Jo

    Angie-
    Kind of Ironic, I have sister named Angie, but I like to call her Angela because it sounds more like Angel. She is the only one that really unstands me. My husband tries to, but doesn’t really know. He’s not very spirital and is totally not superstitious. He upsets me sometimes because I gave up my Lutheran religion willingly I have to admit and was more interested in the Catholic beliefs anyway. I just bothers me that I can’t really pray with him or go to church very often because there seems that he is tired or something. But I have hope that he will get better. He still young–28. I tend to carry on and so I hope I didn’t sound like The HOLY MARY of Jesus or any thing. I just poured out what I fealt. I will be interested in how people will react to what I wrote, but I hope I don’t read anything bothersome. Although I feel I can take any critism–I am truely a strong person now. I appreciate your response. Maybe we can chat on here. I am a stay-at-home Mom and am always reaching out for more answers in life. I’ll maybe catch you on tomorrow. I am up late again. I shall return to see what tomorrow may bring.

  • angie

    amy-jo
    You are an inspiratin.I think we were writing at the same time so I don’t Know if you seen what I wrote or not?If you will read what i wrote earlier about a bad child hood some of it is because my mother was an alcholic.Thats just part of it.Lets pray for Jon’s parents.You will always be with us Jonathan.

  • angie

    Amy-jo
    My name is Angela everyone just calls me angie.I stay at home with my daugter Kimberly.She is going to srart school and I am going to be so lonely.This is the first time for me to chat online.My husband Heath is a hard worker.He loves things to be perfect and that can’t be.I stay up late too.I look foreward to chating with you.

  • Amy-Jo

    Hi, Angie–
    I know where you are coming from when you say you get lonely because I am the same way sometimes, especially it the Winter. Both my mom and my dad were functioning Alcholics and heavy smokers which was very emotionally and physically damaging. I still love them though and I have a pretty decent relationship with them now.

    I am lucky enough to have two sons. They have changed my parents ino thinking that they want to be good role models for them and want to be around to watch them grow. After about 35 years of smoking they finally quite when they found out I was pregnant with Christian. I really would like to have a little girl, but I have come to the relization that I haven’t really had a chance to do the things that I want to do to care for myself look and healthwise. I was always so busy, but at the same time I felt isolated and bored in a way. I felt like the time was just melting away and I couldn’t keep up to the fast growing Earth around me. Lately, I have been consitrating on myself for once. My boys keep me busy enough, and for me to have a third within the next couple of years would be a mistake because of heart my condition and my mental illness. Several doctors have advised me not to bear anymore children which saddens me.
    I am sorry if my entries seem to be soo long. I am sure people will skip right over my writings, but that is fine. It just feels good to get feelings out in the open. I journal a lot and am in the process of writing a children’s book and hope to someday write my life story. I also see a theorpist that his awsome–he makes me feel more grounded and assures me that I normal, but yet not boring or ordinary. He asked a lot of questions which I love and doesn’t make me feel intimidated at all. God Bless my MARK the Theoropist and this website.

    If Mary and Greg don’t read any of these websites, I would try to find away to get a letter directly to them, although they probably get so many that they can’t keep up with them.

    Maybe they aready know that there boy is safe with God or should I just assume that they do because they made him and they probably had several visions of the lost son being found. My Dream or day dream was soo really that I could almost touch him except there was a glass window between us…..we made I contact, then I got distrated by the boys. I looked again when he wasn’t looking and watched him finish up his lunch with his dark haired friend. Jon was wearing a green hat with a green shirt and it looked like he had some stubble on his face, but was very well groomed and hansome. I remember thinking oh my GOD that looks just like him and my heart started racing–I wanted so bad to get up and go talk to him, but as soon as I finished my grilled chicken sandwhich he was aready walking with his friend towards a MayFlower Semi……Maybe I just was haulusinating or maybe he was just someone that looked like him—I really have no proof, but I can give you my word that I felt him with those beautiful magical eyes of his…he gave me a look that I will never forget and the words I cannot express enough how drawn to him and how much I think of him until this very day.
    There is so much stuff about Jonathan to read about, but I haven’t found anything that Jonathan himself wrote. I know there is tons of stuff about his movies and I read stuff that his friends and fans wrote. Maybe I will just need to look harder. I haven’t looked real close because some of the websites seem a little dark and I would rather not see the bad side of it. Part of me says I should just leave well enough alone, but at the same time I feel like God is trying to tell me to search more into his background. Last night I prayed that what I wrote would be it, but he still lingers in my mind…..
    Angie–do you know if his parents look at this website. I really don’t know much about them except that Mary use to be a teacher and Greg (I have an Uncle Greg:) I can’t remember what I read about him except that he was Jon’s agent or something??? I also know that they seemed to have been good parents. You are right when you said or someone else said that it must have been hard to be an only child. I had a very close friend during and after high school (he was the one that actually interduced me to Dean) who was an only and he had a hard time in high school–he got into a lot of drugs and stuff. His parents couldn’t have more kids either so obviously it wasn’t their fault because they are really nice people. He’s doing okay now. He has 5 year old daughter, but isn’t married and is single. I pray for him to that he hangs in their, too.

    Well, I better end this now. I am sorry that this one is long, too. Hope to hear from again soon Angie!—Amy-Jo

  • angie

    Amy JO
    I am glad to here from you again.I have got to go out and do some grociery shoping.Sounds great does’nt it.I’ll write back later.

  • angie

    Amy Jo
    I don’t Know if his parent’s look at this site.I hope they do.Hopefully they do and they can see all the nice things people had to say about him.I’m going to go ahead and say what caused my depresion.(other than my drunk mother.)I don’t care what other people think.They don’t know me.My mother would send me home with this man.He was a precher and about 70 yrs old.He took advantage of me.She says she never Knew.What kind of mother would do that to a little girl and say she did’nt know? He was giving her money, She was staying drunk.I WAS Getting cloths every week end.I would never let him take my virginity.I can’t believe he did’nt anyway.He did plenty.I was married to my husband for 2 yrs.Before I told him.My mother had to know it.I tried to kill myself back then.MY MOTHER KNOWS i TOOK ALOT OF PILLS.She did’nt care.I droped out off school and moved in with my aunt.I call her my mom.She was ther through my dateing and marriageand pregnancy.I went to work with my uncle and met Heath. his grandfather left him his old house to him when he died.Heath And i started remodeling it .Sometimes I wonder how I turned out so lucky.I am so sad about what happend to Jonathan.I know you fell the same.It’s good to meet such a great person to chat with.
    Angie

  • Amy-Jo

    Angie-
    Wow you do stay up late! I saw my phsyciatrist today and he told me that I really need to go to bed earlier. I take 800mg of serquiel to help me sleep at night, but I always feel like the only alone time I get is after the kids are in bed and when my husband is sleeping or playing is dumb x-box 360. I hate taking those sleeping meds because it takes me like 2 hours to wake up in the morning even if I sleep 8-9hrs. I pretty much sleep walk from about 7:30 (when my babe wakes) until like 9am. Luckily he lowered the dose to 700.

    Since I’ve been out of the hospital, I just really enjoy reading and journaling. I try doing the writing stuff when my 1 year old taking a nap and my boy is at school or watching toons. He’s napping late today, which I’m surprised about.

    I am so sorry to hear about your rough past…..I thought I had it bad. Did your Dad pass when you were young? So did this preacher actually molest you or did he just constitanly flirt? Either way, it must have been incredibly hard on you when your mother let it happen. I was fornunate not get molested or raped, but I know friends that have and I saw(witnessed) and felt there pain. Sad story–I didn’t because I told them to leave me the HELL alone–I was really drunk.

    My parents have always loved each other along with me and my siblings, but they weren’t really affectionate people at all which I craved and ended up having some bad relationships in my late teens. I dated a very sad and lonely guy for few months–he was an alcoholic, drug user and he was like 7 years older so he in away used me. He tried killing him self in front of me by taking too many pills and washing them down with some hard liquer which really pissed me of because I was working on a term paper when he called me over and I blame him for failing that class. I was so young and naive then. He ended up being okay that night and I told him that I had to go my own way. I have no idea where he is and how he his.

    I think the things that has helped the most for me getting through the point of meeting my husband was praying first of all. My parents were pretty strict about going to church–I was Lutheran. I had a lot of boyfriends in middle school until 8th grade when found my Dream Boy–Jonathan on NeverEnding Story PartII and then of course Ladybugs which I watched a million times. I really was obsessed then. I was the typical Jonathan Brandis Fan and Put posters of him all over my room. I even have a picture of me holding his chin in my hand and at the time I kept saying this is my future husband and when I was 18 I was going get into my brand new volkswagon convertible and drive all the way from Winona, MN to L.A. and………who knows.

    I also dreamed of him coming to Winona and rescuing me from my crazy life. But why would he want me so screwed up and not very pretty (so I thought at the time)and with thousands of other girls writing to him every week…….Made me a little more sad knowing that I could never really meet him and if I did get the chance it would just be a breif hello and if I was really lucky, I’d a hand shake & a beautiful smile from him……I’m starting to cry thinking about it. I was truelly in love with him. And I think he was a Godsent to me at that time because I really didn’t care for any other boys throughout high school. I took that .0001 percent chance and did save way for him for many years. It was like I was saving myself for him or someone like him.

    Seeing a face of him at the restaurant I went to on April 20th was my sign from God. At first, I thought maybe he was going to save me from my depression and was going to take me away from my home, which I honestly and sadly would have done. There was more to be said after I saw him walk away. My soul starting feeling whole again after that moment and as I prayed for myself and him these last few weeks I totally feel like I can become a hero like I always thought he was.

    I totally feel free. I am so glad I could tell my story of Jonathan and how he helped God save me. I am not saying he came just for me alone. I know for a fact that he is going to help heal others if he hasn’t already. I don’t want to sound like him killing himself was a good thing (because obviously suicide is the worst sin I could ever imagine), but I think their is true reason for his Death. I think God had a very unreal plan for him, so that suicidal victoms could see how others hurt and ache (this of many websites shows how he is so extremely missed). Sounds strange I know, but life plays funny tricks. Hopefully people don’t take my writings the wrong way. I just have to say that Certain People have designated roles to play apart in God’s Way. Please NO ONE take your own life! I know so many that have and they end up hurting others way more than themselves. Jonathan just took a different fork in the road, but was VERY LUCKY In DEED. He loved so many that he intern got prayers of healing so he could be saved. Jonathan did not want to play Jesus, of course, he is himself and did what he did because he was sick and hurting and did not know where to turn. Being a Hollywood star, made him embarrassed to get help because of the popperatsy (sorry can’t spell)–this is my guess.

    I read something that his Mother had said in a real quick interview (which was really the only interview I had seen online)– she said that by him killing himself he hurt so many people. She had no explaination or suicide note to read–she was just heart broken and had no way of explaining the horrible tragedy. She simply did not want to glorify it. I feel so bad for her expecially with Mother’s Day coming up. I think I was one of the chosen one’s to tell her that Jonathan loves her and misses her and he is truely at peace.

    I also read that they do not have a computer and if they still don’t they might not ever read this. If they did I am nervous of how they would react. Maybe I will try and right a letter or maybe even write in a ture story form. All I know is that the more I type on this message board, the better I feel. I was afraid atfirst, that people would think I was a hipocrit for typing all this because I didn’t really know him. But I can feel some of his pain he felt before he died and I feel him now and feel that he is sending these words through my fingers. He is happy that someone can express for him now his feelings of tenderness for others.
    your welcome!:)
    And Angie I hope that you are at peace as well. I can continue to type if you will to do the same. Maybe we can learn from each other. Just want to tell you that my doctor assure me today that I for sure will not be able to have kids again unless we adopt so it seems we have somethings incommen.
    Where do you live, may I ask? I mentioned that I live in Winona, MN which is the south eastern corner. Do you have any hobbies? I enjoy taking pictures, scrapbbooking, cooking, listening to music, remodeling our over hundred year house and you already know that I like to write. I also love gardening. Just curious……. I know when I’m dreppressed though I feel like I don’t have hobbies and not good at anything, but these are things I generally like to do. Hope to hear back from you and hopefully I can make a little shorter in your return.
    I hope you are a Christian and pray as I do. If you are what is your faith? Not that it matters…just interested.
    Take care,
    Amy

  • angie

    Amy JO-
    It’s good to here back from you.We are really spirital too.I grew up baptist.I have always believed in and loved GOD.I stoped going to chirch when my mother started drinking real bad.Then all of the stuff happend with the preacher.I guess I thought all men are like that.Especially whe he was suppose to be like a grandfather to me.I used to go roller skateing every weekend when I was a teen.I guess I thought I could get away.I dated a guy who I felt real close to who was in a so cald gang.But he always seemed so good to me.I am so glad I have Heath!Although he did think mothers day is tomorow.He bought me a flower home today.(Mandavilla)I like working in my flower beds.I guss the reason He likes things to be just write is because this was his grandparents home. he was very close to them.and lived next door.It,s just family here.I am from Somerville,Al.Alot of people put Al down.Sometimes I can see why.I guess that can be anywhere.Anyway,You asked about my dad.He realy did’nt clam me.He had a high name from a well off famiy.(senater)He had older children they knew about me.I’ve just resently gotten back in touch with.HE died when I was 11.Sowatching Jonathan is all I dreamed about.I realy felt close to him.I have visions too.(iwished of him)My aunt could always seem to know things and do things and now I’m having more visions at night.I wake my husband up screeming.All of my life I’ve had sleep paralyis I don’t Know what to do about it?I can here but can’t talk or move.My Dr.wanted to set me up with a therapist.Do you know if my Insurence will cover?Anyway I feel very blessed and thank God for Heath and Kimberly everyday!I Am also looking forward to decarating our basement.Heath is down there now.We are remodeling that.I am wanting to do one room a safari theme.I’ve gotten the animal print rug and pictures.(elephents tigers etc.)I know this is a site about Jonathan.I know we both truely love him so mabe people can read our storys and not feel alone. Hope to here back.You’re Friend
    Angela

  • angie

    Amy Jo-
    How are you today?Hopefuly well.I have’nt felt really good today.I played outside with Kimberly.I’m still thinking about Jonathan.Our B-day is on the same day and today is a month sence it was here.I’m getting older but I don’t feel like I should be.I’m 26 and I feel like I should still be a teenager.I guess because my childhood was takin.

  • Amy-Jo

    Hey Angie-
    You seem like a really sweet girl. I use to use online chats for moms, but I didn’t really like them because there never seem to be too many that would respond. It seems like we have a lot in common. Yes, I am up probably up even later then you tonight. It’s hard to get to bed early sometimes because there is always so much to do. We hired a contracter to remodel our sons room. New textured walls and ceilings were put up and so our house was in shambles for a little while. We were rearranging our bedrooms, and we got busy organizing and stuff.

    Anyways, I haven’t thought a lot of Jonathon this weekend. Probably because we are so busy and my husband is a round. My husband is great, too. I feel bad that I think of Jonathan sometimes. When I think of him I don’t feel lonely. And when I hear certain songs, I really think of him. Now I really am thinking of him, obviously. My husband just went to bed. My vision of Jonathan seemed so real and I wish I could go back to that moment so I could try and talk to him.

    Well, I know why God wanted me to see his face……so I could find my sense of peace. I have thought of becoming a paraprofessional when my younger boy starts kindergarten. I would love to help middle school or high school girls that have problems with depression. Or I would like to start a Christian organization to help teens in crisis. I know there is probably already something like it in the area, but I am really want to try something better that is inexpensive and fun.

    You know I use to rollerskate a lot when I was kid, too. My sister still does. Actually she’s in Roller Durby in Minneaplis. There is a website, but I can think of the exact address right now. I wish I knew where you lived. I am a nosey gal I guess. I wonder why no one else besides you and I has been on this chat these last few days. Well, I should get to bed. Thanks for responding! I hope we can keep this up because it really feels good chatting with you. I was a little nervous about talking on here before, but am glad that I took a chance.

    Peace to our Angel—Jonathan please continue to watch over us and protect us from any harm, help us be ourselves and may we always follow our Lord Jesus. May we know God and feel him in our Hearts so we can be the BEST MOMS we possibly can!
    And we send a special Happy Mother’s day to Mary, your wonderful Mom. I hope she is ok and knows that you are ok, too!
    Angie-I just felt the urge to throw that in here.
    Someday I will write to her, but in the mean time I need to find the time to write one of the greatest letters ever. Hopefully no one has stollen my writings on this chat. Oh well, I don’t care.
    Talk to you again soon!
    Amy-Jo

  • Amy-Jo

    I remember you saying that you share a birthday with Jonathan–April 13? Very interesting….matching dates are always significant to me. I’m a little superstisious, I guess you could say. Tell me about you visions. So you have sleep paralisis? I can’t even imagine what that would be like. I not real familiar with it. If you could get Blue Cross, Blue Shield it would cover theropy for it, but I guess it depends where you are. Minnesota has medical assistance where you only have to play like 8 dollars a month with nothing else and it covers pretty much anything, but obviously you have to qualify–low income families. Do you have any insurance now? Let me know…..

  • Abigail Stoltzfus

    I just watched the films Ladybugs and Jonathan Brandis immediately caught my eye, he was such a talented and good looking actor. After the film i decided to check out his name on google but to my suprise i found many articles talking of his suicide. Eventhough i was not a huge fan, i felt so sad for his family and how such a talented actor should have to resort to suicide. it’s very upsetting but i do hope to rent some of his films and continue to watch his amazing acting.
    Bless his family, my heart goes out to u!
    abi xxx

  • angie

    Yes I have Blue cross,But it changed this year.We have to pay 20%on certain things.I’ll write back and tell about my visions.Happy Mothers Day!I know it must be so hard for Mary Thinking of Jonathan today!

  • angie

    OK,about my visions.Alot of the time it’s like I see movement.I’m laying in the bed at the time.I sit up and look.Sometimes I pretend not to see it.I always feel like it’s hideing and looking at me.You know how I said we live in the house that Heath’s grandparents did?Well,a few years ago while in the bed I would see a little boy.He was dressed like he was maybe from the early 20’s He had a little hat and knee sox on.He acted like he was wanting to play hide and go seek.He never scared me.I told Heath about it.Later that week i jumped up in the bed and got Heath up and Yelled there is that little boy.He could’nt see him.We were talking to his aunt.Her dad was Heath’s granddad who lived here.I explained him to her and she said thats dad.I said really.So,she had the picture of him as a litte boy dressed just like I had explained.Heath cusin who was real close to him died in a car accident.He lived close to our house too.He died I think in 95?The day after the 4,July and a year or 2 ago it fell exacly on the day it happend Anyway,we had been thinking about him alot that day. His dad is my father-in-law’s twin brother.That A.M at like 3:00 Our door bell rang.Our motion light never came on.No one was there,but before we ever looked I said it’s Tobey.I still think it was him letting us know he was there.

  • Amy-Jo

    Angie-
    Wow! That’s pretty freaky stuff…..did it scare you or are you pretty calm when it happens? We are lucky that we haven’t seen any ghosts considering our house is so old. Have you had any visions of Jonathan? I just had that one and also had feelings of his presence for a few weeks after. I had typed that I didn’t want him hanging around me so much because I was feeling a bit strange. I had this constant urge of really wanting to be face to face with him and talk to him.

    Weird stuff, I know, but true or that’s what I felt. I think I had finally start to mourn for him because I hadn’t really when I found out that he had killed himself years ago. I just shut it out of my mind like a lot of things. Who knows though, I will probably start thinking of him tomorrow more because it’ll be Monday and my husband will have to go back to work of course. I like him as a gardian angel, checking up on me now and then. I just don’t want to be drowned with sorrow and sadness thinking of him.

    My Mother’s Day was pretty good we went out for brunch and then we came home and was going to take a nap and then got the urge to finish up what I had started yesterday. Got all my summer clothes up and packed away my winter stuff. Also, started organizing my scrapbooking stuff. Then watched a couple of my fave movies with my sons–The Wizard of OZ and Ever After with Drew Barrymore.

    Well, I should get to bed earlier tonight and start getting in the habit of it, but I will still make a point to drop a few lines (or page I should say) to you Angie. I would like to hear more about you. Hope you had good Mother’s day, too!
    -Amy-Jo

  • angie

    I need to start getting in the habit too!Kimberly will be srarting school in Aug.That is going to depress me alot!Maybe I can volenteer alot at her school.Talk to you soon.

  • angie

    How is you’re day going Amy-Jo?Mine is going pritty hectic.My moter-in-law called from work and wanted me to track down my father-in-law.He has a logging comp W/his twin.He had to go to his Dr. for more blood work.Ther’re wanting to do a byopsy.They think it might be cancer.Thank god he had a kidney stone So they were able to find this.Heath is the only child and he is close to his parents.I am to.I go to thy’re house almost everyday and cook dinner for them.They are good people.It feel like I have known you forever. Angie

  • Amy-Jo

    Angie-
    I definatelly know the meaning of hectic. Between giving the kids attention and caring for them, my doctor appointments and theirs, my MOPS group, and just taking care of regular household chores I get pretty warn out. I don’t feel like I get enough time with my husband and it makes me sad, but we are going to my friends wedding this Saturady and we got a sitter. I am soo excited! We actually are going on a date. I really wanted to get my hair highlighted, trimmed and go for a quick tanning session (since I am very light complected I didn’t want to look like a ghost in my dress). My hubby says he is not sure if we will have enough money. He has like one of the best jobs in the area so you would think we would be able to afford things like this, but we just have too many bills. I miss not having a job so I could do things like this, but I just get too stressed out. I was babysitting a little girl before I went into the hospital, but her mother and I decided not to have her come here anymore–kind of a bummer (her mom and I were close friend and were starting argue). It’s nice though that I can focus more only on my family and myself. And I still get adult coversation will my MOPS friends. Where do you live? You never did tell me. You don’t have to tell me the exact location just the state. Just wondering because you might have this program in your town, too. It is really fun and it’s easy to make friends in it. It’s basically a Christian support group for mothers.
    That’s cool that you spend a lot of time with your in-laws. We would, but they live 4 1/2 hours away and so we only see them like every other month. We talk on the phone with them often though. We don’t spend much time with my parents and I talk to them a lot less on the phone lately. It’s just easier not being around them because they sometimes have a bad attitude on life and they still drink a lot. I hate seeing them drunk.
    How is your relationship with your mom now? I can’t remember if you told me how she is now…..but I should get going to bed now. Talk to you soon! Suprisingly, I haven’t thought much about Jon, but I still love him and miss him. Peace to him and US!
    –Amy-Jo

  • Amy-Jo

    Angie–just noticed that the time is different on here than my time. It is actually 11:25 so it’s not that late :) I am getting better! Good night and sweet dreams…..

  • angie

    Amy Jo-
    I Live in Someville,Al People put Alabama down alot.I promise there can be alot of weired people I guess thats anywhere.I need to tan too.My mom (aunt) has a tanning bed.She used to have her on salon.She is a nurse.I was a nurse assistant for a couple of years mainly w/seniors
    If I go back to work thats what I want to do.I’ve alway’s loved it and think it is my calling.Anyway,To bad we don’t live close.We have 8 acres of land 2 fishing ponds.Does you’re husband like to fish?We are also getting the pool ready.It’s an above ground one.It’s enough for us.I know what you’re saying about money.I told you we’re remodeling the basement.We’ve been doing that for a while.My husband is real good at wood work.We have a log sidding on our house and garage.He likes to build furniture too.I really don’t hang out with any girlfriends.I had one that I had in school.She was’nt a real friend.Always wanting to be better.Thats not me.I’m always kind hearted to people.She went out clubing all the time and cheated on her husband.I quit talking to her.I appreciate the life I have.Esspecialy after what i’ve been through.My mom will call maybe once a year.I’ve been on zoloft and effexer.Now i have to take hormones sence my hysterectomy.I had Endomereosis.Are you familiar?My aunt had it too in her twentys.She could’nt have kids.But she looks at it as God was wanting her to take care of me.So i’m her daughter and thats how she looks at it.We look just alike too.I guess i’ll go.try to take some time for you’re self.I know it’s hard.

  • Amy-Jo

    Thank you so much for such nice response. I just got a call from my mom and she gave me the guilt trip for not call her back–she’s been calling constant since I’ve been out of the hospital. She didn’t say anything mean just that she was worried.

    I guess her calling triggered some past emotions. I have been trying so hard not to let them bother me, but they still do. My mom had brought up getting help, but of course she hasn’t get. Called my hub and he made me all better again. He just recommended taking time off from them. Also we talked about me righting her a letter saying that I need some space for awhile. I think that is a good idea. I feel as though I don’t really need to talk to them because they just drag me down. I have made a lot of good girl friend including one that is a mentor mom from MOPS and of course I have my own family now.

    I had a lot of wrong friends in the past, too. All they wanted to do was go out to the bars and get drunk–we don’t really have clubs (Winona is a small city of about 27,000 people, but lots of bars and maybe more bars than churches). I have very trust worthy friend’s that I made just this last year and it feels good.

    Well, gotta go get sons urine checked again because he’s been holding it too much–may have an infection—fun!
    Talk again soon. I felt even better when I saw your comments.
    –Amy

  • angie

    Hey Amy Jo-
    I just talked to my aunt.My mother paid her a visit.She always has negative things about me.I’m the one thats got a great husband,my own home,and a beutiful daughter.I think she wanted me to fail in life.My aunt said she told her how proud she is of me.How was you’re day?Hopefuly good pray for me!

  • Amy-Jo

    Angie-
    Sorry about your mother. My mom is critical, rude and doesn’t listen to the truth either. I got so upset one day remembering some past issues I had with her that I wrote a letter telling her that she can be rude and disrespectful. I didn’t get everything out that I wanted to. I will probably write one to her and my Dad. I am going to ask bluntly why they drink so much and just let them know that they hurt me so.

    I don’t even care if I hurt there feelings. I need some kind of closure for my self. It’s easy just to ignore them and not return phone calls, but there are just things that need to be said. I have come to relization that I am not horrible if I tell them how I feel or feel like I am breaking one of the commandments. God has reassured me that it is not disrespect against them, but it is what needs to be done in order to make things right so I can feel good and get on with my life.
    Have you talked to your mom or written her letter telling her your feelings? Just a suggestion. My therapist says it would be a good idea for me to. Gotta go! Peace be with you my friend. And I surely with pray for you!
    –Amy-Jo
    P.S. Isn’t it fricken hard to focus on life sometimes when we have such horrible role models for mom’s. Life gets better though and we just learn from their mistakes. We must continue to look to God for strength.

  • Amy-Jo

    I suppose I was a bit harsh to call my mom horrible because she does have her moments. I know she really does love me even though she can’t say it out loud. I just want to be a good daughter and Mother. I don’t want to take revenge, just want to have a good relationship with her like so many others I know. My sister sticks up for our mom all the time and I know she has a right for her opinion, but she doesn’t understand what I went through. I am 2 1/2 years older than her and so I was the one that my mother leaned on. I had to put up with her crying and depression over and over again.

    Though she pushed some depression onto me, I feel that I am okay now. I feel stronger and hopeful for myself. I hope and pray that you are able to look past your mother’s problems as well. Just remember that you are your own person and she has no control because you are an adult and have your family to worry about. Well, sorry I don’t have more words of wisdom for you because I really kind of know how you feel and wish I could be there to be a good friend to you; to help forget those memories of past pains. Sometimes, we just get to a point in our lifes where we just learn to let go.
    (Jonathan if you are listening, please comfort us when we feel bits of loneliness and remind us that life has a point and we just need to keep on living it!)
    Lord, Jesus Christ, thank you for answering my prayers. Please listen to Angie as she cries out for strength and Glory. May she be free and calmed of troubles.
    —–Take Care, Angie, And God Bless You!
    Love,
    Amy-Jo

  • angie

    Amy Jo-
    My mother is always so sweet to others and was always makeing jokes with my friends.Most of the time she was drunk.I was so ashamed of her.I’ts like she would go out of her way to be nice to everyone else.Kimberly doen’t realy connect w/her.I ask her why she is like that and she tells me you are sad when she’s around.If I tried to write her a letter like you said she would make a joke about it.If I bring up the past and what she let happen to me she denies it and says it’s in the past.It is but I don’t think she understands the strain it puts on my marriage.She also thinks of my aunt as my mom But wants everyone to feel sorry for her.My brother is 30 and has a wife,my mom lives w/ them and does’nt work.Sence” she says she quit drinking”Everything else is wrong with her.She controls my bros life and his wife.She’s done him this way so long he can’t function w/out her.It’s sad.She used to treaten suicide all of the time and scare us so bad when we were yonger.I had another vision the other night.I had just gotten into bed and turned to our bathroom and the hole bathroom was red.?Last night I saw like a cluster of little white balls floteing in the air.I hope to you write soon.We love you Jonathan!!!
    Your Friend’
    Angie

  • Amy-Jo

    Angie-
    Yeah, I can understand why you wouldn’t wanna write her a letter. I have written a letter to my parents about how I hate the fact that they drink, but have been afraid to send it to them. I am going to reread it again and have my husband read it, too. I will probably give the letter to them. I wrote a lot of stuff on it pretty much letting them what they have caused and it ended being a 4 page typed letter. I guess if they get mad about it then I can deal with it. I just need them to know how much they hurt me so I can get on with my life. Either they will respect my feelings and try to change or they will be really get angry and not want to talk to me. I’ve hardly talk to them in the last couple of months so I guess I would just be use to it anyway.

    My sister always sticks up for them and says that they are getting better, but I know she is full of crap. She’s gotten to be a big drinker herself as well as my younger bother. My older bother ran away from home when he was 17 and we didn’t hear from him for like a year. He got really heavy in drugs and alcohol and was even was homeless in Minneaplis for a while. Fortunatly, he met a really nice girl about 5 years ago, got married, has a daughter (who is actually my Goddaughter) and his wife is due in June with a boy. For dropping out of school, he is actually doing very well financally. He manages a pretty popular Italian restaraunt and is in a successful rock band.

    By brother who is 31 now use to stick up for them, too, until my parents started to seem too drunk at get togethers and often when my brother and his wife would invite them to come for birthdays or other things they would turn them down. It’s like their being with other alcholic friends and drinking his more important to them. My brother rarely drinks now because he doesn’t want to end up like them.

    I totally see my sister going down my parents same path. Her boyfriend of 29 is already an alcholic. He’s nice, but just drinks too much. My 21 year old bother and his girlfriend drink when ever they get a chance. He was getting really stressed out with work so he went on antidepressants again, but it doesn’t help that he drinks when ever he can.

    I just feel like my is family headed for disaster. My mom’s extended family are all alcees, too. I am so glad that I have learned that drinking gets me no where. It just gets in the way of dreams. I have so many goals now and am looking forward to fulfilling them.

    I think you are doing the best thing for yourself and just avoided your mom and dad. That was what my doctor told me to do along time ago and I just ignored her because I thought I would miss them too much. It actually feels good to have this space. They really love the grandkids and have a special contection with my older son so I hope and pray they can really try to change. I really can’t expect that because they stubborn old mules so I actually expect the worst.
    Angie–it’s weird, but I feel like I really know you, too. I wish we lived in the same area and we could solve the world problems together. I guess this will have to be good enough, though. Maybe we could get each others email. I don’t know how smart it is to put our emails on here so openly, but I will ask my husband. He using the net all the time and would know if it’s bad or not.

    I trust you though. I feel as though you could be a long lost sister. We both went through many hard times as children. My mom often threatened suicide, too. I even had to help her one time when she was in the bathtub, drunk and she had cut her self with razor and I had to help out of the tub and clean her wounds and all the blood on the floor and tub. I think I was about ten and I was horrified me. Sometimes she would even wake me up from a dead sleep crying and then begged me to call my dad at a bar ask him to come home. When she would do this she would battle with the idea of packing us up and got to a motel. She would often get all us kids awoken and have us pack our suitcases, then get our coats on and ready to leave. Just as we started walking out the door, she say “Oh, I can’t do this to kids.” after arguing with her that we didn’t want to go.

    I had some sad times just like you. I hope we can be brave and conquer. And accomplish the most important goals–being a good role model for our children. How old is you daughter again? I bet she is beautiful and growing wonderfully. You seem very sweet and spiritual. May you continue in the Lords way! And we must not forget our hero Jonathan who got us through difficult times through our teanage years. Hope you can respond soon. I have been going to bed earlier now. About 10:30 I try and am shooting for even earlier tonight so I can get up ealier.
    Take care!
    -Amy-Jo
    Just talked to my husband and he said it is ok to give you my email address…..Here it is—-
    But just read the red words and says we aren’t suppose to include email addresses, Shoot!
    There is gotta be a away to give it to you. Maybe some way we could meet on another sight that allows it. I will talk to my hubby about it.

  • angie

    Amy Jo-
    I have been talking to my husband too!He was not so sure about us talking at first but I told him about what we talk about and he is ok.He was thinking about all the bad things that go on with the net.I know it’s true alot of bad thinggs happen.I do feel really close to you and wish we had each others e-mail address.I pray all the time that I’m a good role model for Kimberly.She is 5.She is going to start school in Aug.It’s going to be lonely.My blood preasure has gotten realy high lately it runs in the family.Thats what my dad died from.He had a massive heart attack.He didn’t claim me.I think i’ve already told that.I have a half bro who had open heart surgery at 30.My grand mother had heart failer and died too.I have been known to drink a glass of wine or two.I do not and don’t ever want to be like my mom and stay drunk.She can’t recall half of her life.Well i’m going to bed.Talk to you soon. Love’Angie

  • Amy-Jo

    Angie-
    I use to have high blood pressure, too, before I had my heart surgery 3 years ago and I had to take pills. Since my surgery I have been pretty healthy physically, even though it took almost a year to recover. I eat well, I take lots of walks and I don’t drink. I use to drink occaisionaly before I got pregnant with my second son and drank quite a bit before I found out that I was pregnant with my first. My son is five also and is starting kindergarten at the end of August as well. I use to like white wine a lot and actually to this day wouldn’t mind having just a glass, but I know my restrictions.

    Everytime I get my blood pressure checked it ends up being very normal. It surprising me a little because even though I tried to very hard to stay healthy, I thought all my stress before would cause it to go up. I am fortunate I suppose because I do not have to worry about that anymore or at least not for awhile as long as I keep staying active and eat well.

    Well, I would love to be able to talk to you on the phone or at least through email. I have instant messenger and if you had it would nice to chat that way. Like I said we could try to meet on another website. There a few chat rooms that I use to use and I think I am still a member on one of them. It’s called IT’S CHAT TIME, but I think it’s a lot of older women. We can try to find a good one that might even interest us. I will do a little research this weekend and let you know or vise versa if you know any. You are a nice person and I am glad I met you on this.

    I was thinking about your vision. I believe most dreams and visions really have a huge meaning. Colors often signal a sign. I think red means to be causious and I think the white specks probably mean purity in your life and you need to protect you and your family from something bad. I would guess that you need to stay free from your mother and stand guard. Was there anything else in your vision?
    A dream I had after I was with my parents at a wedding last weekend was really scary. They had taken me to a house and back in time. They said I could never be with my boys and my husband again. They said they never existed. I was in this room with old dirty toys and I couldn’t move. Then they brought me into a closet and said that I must revert back to the Lutheran religion and no longer pray to my Pratron of Saint (Elizabeth). It was very startling and have worse ones with them in it, I will tell you later. I gotta go watch a movie with my husband now. Have a good night and try to stay or get healthy. It would be nice to meet you someday. I won’t try to tell you what you should do to lower your blood pressure because you probably alread know. I will just pray for you! Goodnight!
    -Amy jo

  • Amy-Jo

    Angie-
    I found christian penpals website. It’s christianpenpals.com. I had to type in a few brief things of info and then had to type some stuff about me. You know me it’s somewhat long and I think it’s all stuff that you already know about me so I don’t why I bothered with so much. From there you can email me. This might attract other people to email me, but really the whole point was to be able to chat with you through email. I picked moms as my catigory so I assume you would want to do the same if you are interested or feel like going onto this website. It would be fun because we could get to know each other more.

    I don’t know if you would even have to enter in all that I did. You could just look for my name under the newest members. That would be cool if you could check it out.

    Well, hope you are have a good memorial day weekend. I know I am. I actually got to take a nap today so it has been a very relaxing day. Tomorrow I will plant.
    Take care and peace be with you and your family!
    -Amy Jo

  • Amy-Jo

    Angie-
    Just a quick note, too. My bio/information will probably not be up for 24 hours, maybe less and there is another column to go under–Ladies 20-30 (it will probrably be easy to find me once I’m registered on and this seems very safe considering it’s a Christian site).
    I’m excited!
    -Amy Jo

  • Amy-Jo

    ok, I’m dumb.
    I removed my info because it actually cost money. $24 up front which isn’t actually that much because that means its only like 2 dollors a month, but I didn’t want to pay that. I will find a free chat or penpal site maybe tomorrow night. Sorry. It didn’t say when entered in that it cost money. It was in the small print which I am good at looking past.
    Hope to hear from you soon, anyway, on this site.
    -Amy

  • angie

    Amy Jo-
    To bad about that web site.Hopefuly we can find one.I hope you have a great weekend.My husband gets to be off till Tues.I planted some banana trees by the pool.They look alittle bad.Mabey they will perk up soon.My husband likes that I have someone with so much in common.Even somethings you say sounds like me and I don’t want to say anything about it because it would sound like I’m just going along with you.But it’s true we sound so much alike.Talk to you soon.
    Love,Anela

  • angie

    I spelled my name wrong oops!

  • Someone

    Would Ms Amy-Jo and Ms Angie please just exchange email addresses and have their chats over there? I don’t think it’s nice to clog up the comment page this way when this place is for comments relating to JB’s passing. People wants to read about JB and only that here. Thank you.

  • angie

    Excuse us Someone,
    We would’nt have met if we were not shareing our storys about Jonathan and our past.We thought that they might help some miss gidded people.You do not have to read our story’s.

  • Amy-Jo

    Dear Ms. or Mr. Someone,
    In our defense, just to add–We would love to share our emails, but since this is a protected sight, we are not aloud to put up our email addresses out in the open. We are trying to get on another website that would allow us to do so.
    I feel that Jonathan would be happy that we have found each other because we share similar backgrounds and feelings. Thanks to him and this website we have found a friend…..and I see no harm in that. That is too bad that you are so negative about this. Hopefully, we will soon be able to exchange addresses and not “CLOG” your website. We love Jonathan and we treasure him so, in a way, that we let part of him live in our hearts. think as you may…

  • Amy-Jo

    What Angie had said, that we thought maybe our example would help other miss guided people, is very true. We do not mean to interrupt or bore other people of our stories because we only mean to do good. There are probably many others that read the sight to read not only of Jonathan, but of the people that cared for him. Maybe some depressed young women come on the sight and reads our stories in interest, and takes it as an example to bring into their own lives. We the ones whom have suffered severe depression, but were able to overcome the battles and not go the path that Jonathan took, makes us tools and instruments into helping others. Angie– we are strong and so it is our duty to share our Peace and Love to others who need need it. God gives us the power to share His word–don’t ever let anyone ever change our Will! Past this sight, we for sure will be survivers and messangers of the Lord.
    I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10
    Your friend,
    Amy-Jo

  • angie

    Amy Jo-
    We could have easily taken the wrong road in life.Although we are very blessed now we still battle depression.That is hard to deal w/ and some people odviously don’t know thatit helps talking about it.If we didn’t care about Jonathan so much we would have never met on this site.I am proud I met you Amy Jo and hope to keep up the great conversations.We will defanitly pray for the people that always look for something negative to say.
    Love Angie

  • R. Garcia

    I suggest that you both go to jonathanbrandis.org, join th Forum, and there you can exchange personal e-mail addresses, or just PM’s. I personally found the interchange to be interesting and informative… but that’s just me.

  • *K

    I was browing on the internet and found tyhis web site. I wasn’t friends with him personaly , but have meet him 2 times through my own friends. And I see all these somments and theres so many its amazing to see so many heart brokin fans. As many have said the reason for him taking his own life with out leaving a note of any kind explaining why was very strange. And even 3 years later people still leave comments about how much they miss there favorite actor is such a sign of pure love. Personaly meeting him those few times was enough to know what a great person he was. And it shocked me when I found out about his death Nov.15 I had gotton a phone call about it , and I was realy shocked and remembered the last thing I said to him. It was only a month before and he seemed fine. I would have never thought he was in suck a state to end his own life. And to this day I still see shows on him and watch E child star remembrence shows and I cry every time remembering such a great person. I hope he is happy in the better place he is in now. And I hope I still see more comments from all his loving fans. And even though alot of us think he didnt kill himself , he sadly did take his opwn life. People need to take a clsoer look into the story and reports. They explain every thing , but the reason WHY. For that we’ll nevver know. But we can know that he loved every single one of his fans and wouldn’t want them to be upset. But to remember all of his work.

  • angie

    Amy Jo-
    I see you and i registered on the site that R.Garcia told us about.I hope to be chating with you soon.Thank you R. Garcia!

  • Amy-Jo

    Yes, thank you R. Garcia! Seems like a great sight. Bless all of you who love Jonathan, always remember that he is watching over all of us with happiness! Take care. And Angie– I will for sure meet you later on the other site.–Amy

  • Amy-Jo

    I seem to be on the memberlist,but I am unable to log-in. I read through some stuff and tried to figure out what I did wrong. Drina I believe is the admistrator and is a part of this sight as well. R. Garcia or Drina what should I do? Should I just reregister? Maybe they would not except me because I have written too much on this sight. It looked like it worked for Angie though, but I understand she used fewer words. Please let me know, otherwise, I will be on my way if you all wish. Just remember, I am lover–not a hater.

  • angie

    Amy Jo-
    It took me a little while to figure it out too!I Registered and then I Sent you a p.m.I think I done it all right.Everyone is real nice on the site and we should fit in well.I hope you figure it out soon so we can communicate.
    Love,
    Angie

  • angie

    I’m going to send a pm to R.Garcia and ask himto come to this site and talk you trough it.He said that he seen we had registered and welcomed us.I’ll hopefully talk to you later.
    Love,
    Angie

  • Amy-Jo

    That would be great Angie! I just assumed that they did not really want me on since I was unable to join and I did not know how to contact an admistrator because every time I tried to get into someone to ask a question I was required to log-on which didn’t make sense. I kind of feel stupid. Hopefully R. Garcia will help. Thanks Angie.
    -Amy Jo

  • angie

    Amy Jo-
    R Garcia says it’s been a while for him.He did tell me some steps that might help.after you fill out everything then create your profile& password.Remember to click on log in eaverytime.(at toop)He says some anti pop up programs will not let the page come up.When this happend to him He would push the ctrl button.He also told me to ask some of the other people that might know about it.Keep playing around it worked for me and thats saying alot! Angie

  • Amy-Jo

    Angie-
    I tried to send an email to Drina–I had found a place on the homepage that I thought would let me send her a message, but my email came to me saying that the delivery message status was delayed. My thought was that she just as a ton of emails and can’t get to mine right away or she is just disregarding it–I don’t know. I am just really frustrating. It is annoying that it is so complicated for me. I have been playing around a lot with it. It kind of sounds like you said I should reregister because that is what I would have to do if your talking about creating my profile which I already did. But maybe I will just try doing so again because I have tried logging in everytime and it says something that my password is incorrect and then sometimes my email is incorrect. I thought I typed every thing accurate in my registry. I’ll see what I do again! wish me luck….

  • angie

    I am wishing you luck.I can’t wait to talk with you.R.Garcia said for me to ask this other person thats real smart on that kind of thing.I’ll talk to you later.Everyone is welcoming us.

  • Amy-Jo

    I attempted to reregister earlier today, but of course it didn’t work because my email address was already being used. I have no idea what I may have done wrong, unless I accidently clicked on the 13 and under option which would have been real stupid of me, but I don’t think I did. Drina-if you read this sight I am obviously not 13–I’m 27. I’ve read a lot of info that was suppose to be helpful to me, but wasn’t. If you could help to get me activated that would be great. I know you said, Angie, that everyone is welcoming us so you must have said something about me, right? I wish I could read the entries. And I wish I could get to know you more–sooner then later. —Amy-Jo

  • angie

    Amy JO-
    Go back to the site and go to the forrum,click on the F&Q at the top it’s got all problems.It says to start a new profile sence it want work And start getting on the toppics wuth people.If you register and don’t write any thing right away they might un register you.I guess to put more space for people who write alot.Good luck!

  • angie

    G.O. says to sign in,make a pass word you might have a problem w/internet cookies or content restiction.Reduce security of coputer system cookies.The pc might be trying to block the connection.Hope it works!

  • angie

    Amy Jo-
    I Know we are going to love the site.Jonathan is so loved and I’m glad we can share our story’s.We can also get to know each other better. your friend

  • Amy-Jo

    Angie-
    I am sorry, but just I stopped trying. It’s just too difficult to get on that website. I just figured if I can’t get it by now then it’s just not meant to be. Besides, I am not that interested anymore of being part of a chatroom because I have tendency to check too often to see if I have gotten a response from people that I don’t really know which is weird. I had that problem when I was on a couple of Mom’s sights.

    You, of course, I feel like I can trust and would prefer to just exchange adresses and get the hec out of these sights. I love Jonathan and respected him dearly, but I don’t feel the need to express my sincere feelings for him anymore. The first couple weeks I was on here I felt that he was with me and his presence seemed very strong—that of course was why I came on here so I could express thoughs feelings. For that time I think I was in mourning for him because I never had time to think about him or maybe just ignored and shook it off in disbelief that he hung himself.

    It’s weird cuz I didn’t think about him for like 3 years since I found out he was dead and then I swear I thought I saw his face one day in crowded place. His eyes, when he at looked me, were so strong–the same bright blues that I remember from movies and magazines. I still feel that he came as a message for me to take care of myself and to share peace with others. I have work I do now outside the house which is leadership in my MOPS (Mother’s of Preschoolers) group–I am the Publicity Leader. It is my job to promote this Christian program.

    I wish we could just exchange addresses with each other email or home, but I guess it’s just not that simple. I really have to say that I am glad that this sight existed and ones like these because without them, I wouldn’t have had a chance to read how loved and good Jon was which gave me a sense that the love I felt for him when I was a teen seemed more real. And now I don’t feel so consumed with sad feelings for his loss. I have been able to get over it and move on. Obviously, praying and being around my family has helped, too. He is beautiful! And I will truely miss him as if he was my brother (even though I would have liked to marry him so long ago). Sorry I affended anyone by taking up so much room on this. No more you will have to read my words after this entry.

    I am good, Angie, and I am not depressed though I could easily slip if I am not careful. I look at happiness as something that just doesn’t come easily–you have to work at it. I take pills which was hard for me to do at first, but I accept the fact that I have to take them and they do help. I also go to therapy which I thought would be hard because I didn’t really like my past therapist, but now the one I have now is wonderful and feel comfortable with. I am fortunate that my good insurance covers it. Of course these things help, but more than any thing, I think prayer helps the most, talking with someone you can trust and then taking care of your health—walking and being outside does wonders for me. I don’t need to to type on these comments anymore because I have enough support now which I didn’t feel I had before when I started on here. I will be okay.

    Angie–I am sorry again. I am so glad I got a chance to chat with you and get to know you a little. What can I say, but just take care and remember to stay strong.
    This is part of a prayer from St. Catherine Laboure:
    I tell God everything that is in my heart. I tell him about my pains and my joys, and then I listen.
    If you listen, God will also speak to you, for with the good Lord, you have to both speak and listen.
    God always speaks to you when you approach him plainly and simply.
    (this prayer seems so true to me. for he does answer if you just listen. we talk in away I thought would never exist. He tells me not to spend anymore time on here and so this is the last time you will read my words–continue to share his word and I will do the same my friend!)

  • angie

    Amy Jo-
    Iam glad to here you are feeling better.I wish you and your family all of the best.I’ll keep you in my prayers.So sorry we could’nt exchange e-mail address. Your friend,
    Angie

  • R. Garcia

    Good luck, Amy-jo. Jonathan would be glad to know that you’re feeling stronger. Remember that you can always read the various comments on the other site without registering or logging in, just can’t comment on them.

  • TENA.

    it deeply saddens me that someone could do this. with my own expierences, i know how hard it truely is to hold on, i just thought he was stronger. he was a beautiful guy and i always wanted to meet him. when i found out, i didn’t want to believe it at all.

  • Chauncey K

    Okay- I am truly saddened by this. I just found out today that he died some THREE years ago. I was in disbelief. I was looking up stuff on Tatyana Ali- who he was dating, and then I see R.I.P by his name and I’m like- what? What are they talking about? He was so gorgeous it’s truly a shame. I liked his movies and thought he was a really good young actor. It’s truly a shame. I could only imagine what Tatyana Ali was going through hearing that he had taken his own life- it must of been very painful. She’s just now recently gotten another boyfriend. IT’s truly a shame, depression can do that to someone. BUt it teaches us the lesson that when someone is talking like that and asking those kind of questions then we should take heart and ask them the questions- I’d rather be safe and ask “are you thinking about taking your life” then try to rationalize it and ignore. It’s truly a shame.

  • Sumi

    I watched “Sidekicks” not too long ago & i forgot how absolutely stunning & brilliant Jonathan was. Not just in that movie, but the rest of them as well: It, Sequest, etc… My God! Still cant believe he’s no more. Im soo very sorry for what happened to Jon. Im sure he’ll always be loved & missed from all his loved ones!!!

  • BA

    It’s so heartwarming to see all of the the caring comments from Jonathan’s fans on this and other sites that I have visited. I am older than most of his fans. However, the first time that I saw him on Sea Quest I told someone that, if I was 13 again, my scrapbook would be all about him.
    He was a beautiful child as well. I made it a point to see whatever I could of his work. I lost track in the last few years. So, I didn’t hear the terrible news until this week. It broke my heart. I am still in disbelief. I grieve as you do.
    For those who have lost respect for him or found his act to be selfish, I say this. There are those who feel that they no longer deserve to be here, or they come to believe that they are a burden. I don’t know how Jonathan could have felt that way about himself, but I have read someone’s research that indicates this about those who actually follow through on the threat to kill themselves. One site that I found also explained how much courage it takes to do what Jonathan did.
    My heart aches for him. How could he have believed that the world would be better off without him? He was so loved.
    May it be so that God holds him close now. Amen

  • Button81

    Growing up, my mother used to ask me, “How can you stand sitting in your bedroom with all those eyes staring right at you?” Well, all “those eyes” were Jonathan Brandis posters pinned up all over my room. I am now 25 years old and was on myspace looking up people and decided to give Jonathan a try…..wow. I am speechless. I had no idea that he passed away….going on 3 years ago now. What a handsome and talented man. Having fought through my own dark thoughts, I find myself wondering what Jonathan was thinking about. My heart goes out to all who knew him well. Depression is a disease that attacks even the best of us, as we have all unfortunately now seen with Mr. Jonathan Brandis. My heart hurts at the thought of never seeing what else he could accomplish. May his memory live on through those who loved him

  • Kelly

    I loved his acting and am sorry for the pain he went through. I can imagine the loss his family has gone through. I know it well. He shall rest in peace. All my love.

  • Crissy

    I still can’t get over his death! What was bothering him so much to have killed himself? I think about him and his family everyday, my prayers and thoughts go out to Greg and Mary Brandis. I can’t begin to imagine what they are going through. I have never met Jon before, but there is something about him, I still to this day have such a huge crush on him, it HURTS me to see him in pictures or on the TV screen, even to hear his name, it is painful. I’m crying alreay! Jon,why? I want to know why. I will miss always!!!

  • Katie

    Jhonathan,
    When I first saw you in the movie IT,I just had to no who you were. So I went on the computer and typed in Jhonathan Brandis then my jaw dropped.When I saw that he was dead I was so sad.So I wrote you something:
    We loved you so
    so why did you go
    I guess will never Know
    But will let you Know we miss you Jon
    You will always be in are heart.

    For you Jon

  • angie

    May you always rest in peace sweet angel.
    I will light a candle for you.

  • gn

    growing up, I had a huge seaquest poster of you on my wall. I remember always seeing your face when i’d first walk into my room. Somehow, no matter what kind of day I was having, you would always make it better.

    the nights i would spend crying, somehow your smiling face gave me comfort. Now that you’ve been gone from this world, it seems as though nothing can give me the same comfort that you once did.

    I’ve never personally met you- but i miss you more that i’ve ever missed anyone in my life. It feels like a part of my childhood is now gone and can never be retrieved.

    Sometimes i think, maybe we’re more alike than you think. I’m an only child too and i’m VERY hard on myself (i hear it from everyone a lot). To me i think that growing up without siblings is more difficult than people think. I wish you had someone to talk to-maybe someone to save you from yourself.

    You were a gift to the world. Talented, young, bright, and very handsome. I’m sorry that the world was too difficult for you to handle. And i can only pray that you are happier where you are now.

    I hope to one day see you in Heaven, but I know i’ll always see you in my dreams.

    i love you..always have, always will.

    You will never be forgotten.

  • http://www.stockley.co.za Jim Stockley

    I can’t believe you have been dead so long Buddy, and I just found out today. I was head lion trainer on ‘Born Free’ and got to know Jonathan and his Dad quite well, spent some good evenings together at the Shumba Valley Lodge. Helluva nice people. Sorry you’re gone Lad, shame you couldn’t find another way to solve the problem. As a father with a 27 yr old son of my own, I can only imagine what your parents feel like.

    Hamba Kahle

  • SO SAD

    Shocked. Just found out today that Jonathan Brandis is dead. I feel like crying. It is so sad. I remember him from back in the days when he was such a pin up. I saw him in films and Sea Quest. He was a good actor and obviously very good looking. Haven’t thought about him since. I no longer live in the states.

    I feel cheated in the sense that this young man with a future ahead of him-making films as he loved doing-has robbed us of that. Strange to say it but that is how I feel.

    I keep trying to think why he would have done it. I keep thinking maybe he didn’t believe he was good enough. Then again no one knows everything about everyone. He was hurting deeply from something no one knew about. I don’t know. It is pretty scary that someone can be that distressed that they would actually go through with suicide.

    May God rest his soul in peace and may his tragic end bring hope to those who are ever thinking of taking their own lives.

    Life is not always plain sailing but if you you have life there is hope and where there is hope there is life.

    Choose to live. Please.

  • friend

    I was browsing in the internet to see what this another actor was up to, when I suddenly remember Jonathan, I never look up any other actors or really that interested in any other except this other actor and Jonathan it’s been so long I was only 13 when I first saw his beautiful face flash accross our television screen back in the Philippines it was an adverstisement of his movie sidekick, the firt time I saw his beautiful face, his wonderful smile I know I’m falling in love, and I know I have to go see his movie. There’s something about Jonathan that makes you think he’s a familiar soul, it’s kind like you can connect with him personally. And by the way we share the same birthday, I was very excited to see him although not in person, When I did see the movie I am in love, and I have to see it over and over again, I know girls back then in the philippines same age as me have fallin in love with him as well, and I know I am just one of the millions who loved him. I said I want to meet him someday, but life gets in the way. I have forgetten about him, we migrated here in America I thought I will be closer to him but sometimes life is hard. Fast forward to 14 years after, I suddenly remember Jonathan as I was browsing about this other actor, I saw his pictures, I thought ‘m going to see what he was up to this days, probably married with his girlfriend Tatyana and have babies, as I was reading what comes up on my computer screen, it says in Memoriam and I thought there is something sad about that word or maybe they just want to honor him or something, but then I read Died November 11, 2003 and my heart sunk, why did he died maybe he was sick, and I find out he committed suicide, I just couldn’t believe he did that. I was truly touched by fans who loved him very much. If he only know how much is loved by so many. I believe he is going to accomplished lots of big things in the future if he hang in there, it is sad that he end his life, and whatever the reason is I understand him as a human being, I am only human and have no right to judge him I also think he must be indeep agony to decide to end it then and there. I never personally know him but from what I read he seems like an innocent and kind soul, somehow in God’s mysterious ways for He is aloving God and forgiving, Heprobably forgave Jonathan for what he did, God is also understanding although he must be sad too that Jonathan doesn’t see any reason to stay and hang on. I personally suffered bad case of deppression the year Jonathan died, I didn’t even know he died that year, what gets me through it is that I pray to God to help me get through it, and I trust and believe that he will hear me, and when I say I trust, I really trust, a kind of trust that when suffering from an illness that you thought it is your end yet you trust that God will take care of you whatever happens. And God never fails me. Midwest Center for me personally is an answer to my prayers it heals me from deppression save my life literally. It reconstruct your mind how to get over deppression. Depression is very hard, very hard to battle most especially when you just don’t know how, people suffer from deppression don’t want to be that way, they just can’t help it and they need help really bad, when your depress you feel like there is no hope, and even more worse case kind of depression it’s better to leave this world behind because you’re no good or no use anymore to anybody and not even to yourself. But that just not true that’s what people of depression needs to know, there are available help out there I personally recommend Midwest center, although a little expensive it’s worth it. Please don’t hold me liable for recommending Midwest center, because my intentions are to help people who are depress and needs help. Because when people ended their life when they were suffering from a depression are a great loss, great loss to themselves and to those who loved them. This is only my humble opinion. I know that Jonathan’s spirit is with God, because when we died our spirit goes back to God for He is the one who created us and gives us life, our soul and body will rest in peace until the day When God will send Jesus Christ to wake us up from our resting place and called those who are worthy to enter the holy city and live the everlasting life that God prepares for them maybe then we’ll se Jonathan there. This is what I understand from the Bible and what the ministers preached when the topic is about death and what happens when we die. I don’t like negative comments so don’t bother.

  • Unknown

    Even his friends and family had no idea the depths of his depression. He hid it very well. Jonathan was a wonderful person and I miss him dearly. I wish I could have helped him the way he helped alot of us.

  • Randy

    So sad. I found out about Jon’s death, while reading an article about Brad Renfro’s recent death. Jon’s death was mentioned in the article.
    He was such a good actor. I never knew him, but always loved watching his movies. I was a real fan of SeaQuest, and never missed an episode.
    I feel so sad for his parents. Whatever his reason, millions of us will never forget him.
    Peace to you Jonathan.

  • H

    I’m really upset someone didn’t wake up and give Brandis some well deserved roles after the 90s. Shame on them. Were they blind to this talent and looks?! I read he tried out for Star Wars and the role of Anakin Skywalker. He would have been perfect!!! Hayden could not hold a candle to Brandis. Imagine if we’d seen Brandis casted in that part! I bet Brandis would still be around if he got some well deserved roles. There was just no need for him to be put aside like that. I understand how someone with so much talent would get depressed by the lack of opportunities to use themselves. I’m sure the whole thing is political and it’s all about who you know to get parts. Shame on them. I hope a couple people who could have made a difference feel some responsibility for this tragedy. Everybody’s too focused on the “next best thing” and I think lots of good young talent is dismissed too soon. All these sites show how many people loved Johnathan.

  • Oliver Derrick

    Well I meet Jb in the mid 80’s He used to love going to the park befor and after school,
    He used to base all his spare time on acting,
    Jb loved to talk to happy people which his fans would be when he meet them “happy” even though there was the jealous type passing the bad comments, he took the bad and the good to hart,
    then there was the private parties in fast food joints , he even tried to get me on a few films…
    any way in England we all come from different walks in life In Australia you got to fight for your right. and in the US it is a cruel world!

    All the war that went on and the human rights abuse…

    And i still think the never ending story is cooler then star wars , so mythical

    ONE LOVE JB

  • Marg

    Jonathan,may you always be in peace.

  • Mel

    Just wanted to say……..
    ive only just found out that Jonathon had died, 5 years later, thats real sad of me!
    I used to watch him in Seaquest, and of those movies, he had a place in my heart. thats why i did a search to see what he was upto, see if he had kids if he married, you know sometimes thats why actors go quiet. i didnt have internet connection to keep up and also my life got in the way. i even paid to get his address to give him fan mail but i was so scared to write to him back in 97. im so gutted, why do the best die young!
    Jonathon RIP.

  • aliciamariah

    im in love with him and i am literally crying. he was so beautiful. im sure alot of people miss him.i know i do.and he still is beautiful.

  • aliciamariah

    sorry about that so many times my computer wasnt working, but im verry sad! i just found out today, and from now on, on november 24 of every year i am going to have a peace party for him. and he has and always will have a special place in my heart just for him.and i am DEATHLY afraid of clowns and i watched the movie IT just to see him.

  • -Gar

    Jon:

    “How can I hold the part of me that only you can carry?”

    Five years later and I still can’t answer that question.

    Rest in peace, beautiful boy, un-son, friend. You are not forgotten, not diminished, and your star still shines softly in the heavens to remind us that you’re not really gone.

  • Vix

    I’m from the UK and would watch Jonathan every week on Seaquest – at the time I was in the process of hurting myself with anorexia and one day I just wrote to him and spilled my guts… and he got back to me and sent a signed pic… it was the first time I’d come into contact with someone I admired and it changed my life – I met someone, got married and got the job I trained for… then I found out about Jonathan’s suicide. I can’t explain the feelings but he gave me a belief that good things do happen and I think about him lots.

  • Lorraine B

    Hi, I don’t know what to say about myself so you can look me up on [Personal contact info deleted] MOCOSPACE SITE, I would love to hear from other fans very much. I read all the comments that fans leave and I feel so bad for all that you dont understand, confused about and are going through maybe now for most of your lives. I myself love people and care so much about others sometimes more than about myself. Jonathan and I share some personalities. I guess you just don’t get aknowledged untill your very well known. I have the same interests and desires as Jonathan. If you see me out there as a writer actor or artist. Remember who gave me that strength to step forward and live who I am instead of continually being someone I’m not to fit into the world. Jonathan Brandis also didin’t do anything apart from pushing himself out there boasting a little more to get noticed and to becoming even more successful in what he does and who he is in order to allow to be more accepted in this world and do what he wants to do. Being creative is a hard life in this world. Hard to be allowed to live that career and to be that person. Although I have been through alot in my life child abuse, sexual assault, e.t.c my hopes and dreams were not shattered too much thanks to that one brave soilder who stood out as an individual who did what he wanted and never looked back who is one kind and friendly forget about how attractive he is on top. lol, I realised I was someone, i was in a group like me, i was one of a very special kind. I don’t live every walking in his footsteps my dreams are ofcourse different in some ways as we are all individuals, but my hopes and friendly positive manner of being who we are. We do share. He made me stronger when I felt my walls collasping. So thank you for listening. And thank you for his friends for sharing your stories about him. Knowing about the truth through his eyes and otheres who knew him is what I really look out for in these comments. It puts the smile back on my face. Ofcourse love to hear eveyones comments as much. keep it up. Lorraine B

  • Lorraine B

    P.S Just want to add that that message didn’t quite come out how it was meant to. I meant jonathan and I ARE CREATIVE individuals and careers as this is harder than working in Mc Donalds or an office. First you have to be accepted for your unique talents. Then you got to keep it strong all down to the the people we are selling it too. I was about to give up, but I never actually give up, knowing jonathan made me realise how much we have in common. I havn’t got over Jonathan never will, I grieve just as much as anyone. but, he left me something I have to live for. And Im going to impress him. Thats what I am focused on at the moment thats what is keeping my spirit burning. If i loose that or fufil. I will become as lost as he had. I do not know what more to say about Jonathan as many is already said and theres not much info that is yet found or needed at this tiem. i SPEAK for all the fans. Its you who shud get these comments. Stay strong, look for what Jonathan has left for you in life, Everone will find something whether big or small, creative or spiritual. Keep focused on that. acknowlege Jonathan is at peace and there is nothing any of us can do for him now. This is hard even for me but you have to move on and live on. It will get easier, If you keep dwelling back and regretting it is never going to give you peace so find what that dwelling prob is, do all you can to put that at peace, keep going back evry month say to put your spirit at peace, odn’t read about jons death, how he died, anything like that, dont get tempted, read things like what you read now. It will help alot, and take that weight of your shoulders. REM there is one who can move on but none of this can help, and that is parents freinds etc, think how bad they have it. What else can I say. Jonathans fans, i have hope in you and aswel as jonathan I think about you lot too. Peace. R.I.P JONATHAN GREGORY BRANDIS 12.04.76-13.12.03

  • KM

    I FROM POLN AND I CAN NOT GUT ENGLISCH WREITIN BUT I AM VERY SAD BECUS JONATHAN IS DEAD:I LIKE FILM WITH HIM AND HE WOS VERY HANDSOM BOY THIS MESEG COMMING NOT TO ME THAS HE IS NOT WITH US..HE WOS SO YOUNG! WHAY WHAY!YYYYYYYY :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

  • Randy(Nomorerings2008)

    I was watching Sidekicks on Youtube (because it’s NOT out on DVD) and on the last clip I saw some RIP Jonathan Gregory Brandis comments. My heart sunk and I Googled his name and found out that he had been gone 5+ years!!! I held back crying but I should have just cried. I’ve loved him since before Seaquest DSV and beyond. I have thought about suicide for more than half my life but for the first time, I see what my family and friends would go through if I did it. I did not know Jonathan except from TV and movies, I am deeply hurt by his death.

  • izzamil

    hi, i am izzamil and i am from the c.n.m.i , rota, 96951, a small island!!

    [Personal contact info deleted]

    i love him and only the last 2 days i have found out about it and i had loved him but ever since i found out he was dead it is like my whole world change and i coud not believe he died i keep watching the never ending story II the next chapter again and again well atleast here by typing i could express all the one i kept inside for so lone my favorite actress is annasophia r. and my favorite actors are alexander l., joshua h., and of course jonathan but i just have one question y does he have 2 hang himself? he should have done more if he still lives 2day but i don’t expect him 2 do such a thing well no offence jonathan i love u !!! and u will always be a my hearts!!

  • wzildberry

    i’m not sure when i heard about his passing, i’m not sure i took it seriously then. not until 2 days ago did it really hit me. i’ve since spent most of my waking hours consuming every form of media having anything to do with him. I feel like i’ve lost an old friend who made an impact on my life. I never met him but I somehow feel that I knew him, and well. he was incredibly down to earth, eager to please, and vulnerable. I admired his spunk and his honesty, and cultivated those same characteristics in myself. i even became an engineer and an environmentalist, inspired by Seaquest. Even though i never met him, I feel guilty for loosing ties. I could have done something to promote him. despite what some people have indicated, i feel that he became more handsome, more intense, and more real with age. he had so much to offer the world. i wish this was all a hoax. but i know that’s not likely, not reasonable, and not him. i wish the best for his family and friends. i know he will stay in their hearts as he does mine.

  • Luisa

    how dare can somebody be to say he should burn in hell for killing himself!how dare u are!
    i dont doubt his desicion..he had his reasons even if we dont understand it..i might think it wasnt his time to pass but apparently it was..i m still truly saddend..
    to me he was one of the realest people i ve ever known..he ll always be on my mind!

  • kim

    jonathon brandis was a great actor… i sill can’t believe that he would do something like that.

  • Stef

    Holy Sh1t!!!I only found out today!!!!!I really can’t believe it!!!!!!!!Why????

  • Peg

    Jonathan Brandis was one of a kind in this world.He was an inspirational actor to a lot of people. It was and still is a tragic and saddening death since November 12,2003. Jonathan had such talent and a promising,bright future ahead of him.I wish he had received help for his depression.Because,he would be here today living his life in happiness and without the mental illness.Missing you & rip,Jonathan

  • Ruby

    Hello Raymond (Gar), Would you happen to know the kind of music that Jonathan enjoyed listening to? Since you were his friend I thought you might know. He was an amazing actor, and he’ll be missed very much. Thank you Raymond.

  • claudia

    I still miss you. Can’t believe so much time has passed. I wonder what would have been. I really wish someone had gotten you the help you needed. Rest in peace Jon.

  • Shannon

    Jonathan was one of a kind. I had a huge crush on him and loved all the movies that he did especially Ladybugs and Sidekicks. He was loved by tons of people. His family, friends and fans -including me- will never be the same. I never thought i would cry over a celebrities death but Jonathan’s passing really hurt. Who knows what amazing things he would have been doing by now. RIP Jonathan.

  • jini

    love u soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much jonathan

  • Fatima

    2012.

    I read about his passing years ago after curiosity came over me wondering what happened to him. Massive tragedy and still to this day, it is. Never knew why he felt and decided to take his life. Not that we should be privy to his personal life; yet his departure struck a chord.
    It is more than a shame. The devastation not only on his family but for his fans who grew up with him.

    I remember seeing him first in Neverending Story and a few films after. I always thought he made a name for himself.

    I hope he is resting in peace. 2012, and still people are baffled and sadden by your choice…
    – seemed to me, he had fans all over –
    (UK)