I’ll get this out of the way: The Insight Bowl was a very entertaining bowl game from the first to the fourth quarter, as Rutgers waited 27 years to play their second bowl game and fell just short of winning their first, losing 45-40 to Arizona State.
The Jersey Knights were an onside kick and touchdown short of executing a 12-point comeback in a very emotional and physical game from both teams in Chase Field (formerly Bank One Ballpark)
OK, game recap is out of the way. Let’s talk about drunk ol’ Jimmy Kimmel.
Now, I’m not sure why they put him in the ESPN booth with Brent Musburger. Heck, I’m not sure why ESPN put Musburger in the Insight Bowl to begin with, but Kimmel sure looked like a character who had a few beers.
And I was right.
Musburger interviewed Kimmel, the honorary captain of the ASU team that night, and asked for his predictions on the Fiesta Bowl (Ohio State/Notre Dame) and the Rose Bowl (USC/Texas.) Kimmel replied: “Notre Dame wins, and Texas covers. I mean USC covers. I had a few beers if you haven’t noticed.”
Oh, your forehead isn’t naturally sweaty?
But for good measure, let’s recap this quote (taken loosely from memory) again.
“Notre Dame wins, and Texas covers. I mean USC covers. I had a few beers if you haven’t noticed.”
Let’s read that in a block quote:
Notre Dame wins. And Texas covers. I mean USC covers. I had a few beers if you haven’t noticed.
Now let’s put that into Altavista’s translator and see what it is in German:
“Notre Dame gewinnt und Texas Abdeckungen. Ich bedeute USC Abdeckungen. Ich aß einige Biere, wenn Sie haben nicht beachtet.”
Now let’s see what that is in Rinkwork’s Dialectizer, as spoken in jive:
“Notre Dame wins, and Texas covers. ah’ mean USC covers. ah’ had some few beers if ya’ gotsn’t noticed.”
Anybody want to start speculating on why he dropped out of ASU?
Kimmel’s inebriated TV spot was reminiscent of Joe Namath strugg-ah-ling through a Q&A with ESPN sideline reporter Suzy Kolber, whom Namath — also around Christmastime — gave the best celeb-at-a-football-game quote of all time: “I wanna kiss you.”
Rutgers’ honorary captain was an actual alum — not a dropout: James “Tony Soprano” Gandolfini. Nothing disgraces the family more than his alma mater losing to a party college.