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Jigglefests For The Masses

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With this edition of Catching Up…, I have decided to dive head first into the sleazy world of “Jigglefests” — films that are chock-full of boobies and booties, and surprisingly lacking on any other socially-redeeming values. It was like a dream come true.

Naked Ambition: An R-Rated Look At The X-Rated Industry (Phase 4 Films) – We begin with the most “mainstream” of all titles in this session — a tastefully-made documentary about the porn biz by photographer Michael Grecco. Join Grecco as he ventures to the 2006 Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, mingling with such greats as Ron Jeremy, Jenna Jameson, publisher Larry Flynt, and more. Next, get up close and personal with Joanna Angel and Sunny Lane as they audition for the Adult Video News Awards. Good times for all.

The Alcove (Severin Films) – What would a journey into sexploitation be without the hands-on approach of Italian schlock-meister Joe D’Amato? Severin Films brings us another class-ick from the late Italian filmmaker, which (re-)teams horror/sex genre favorites Annie Bell, Al Cliver, and Black Emanuelle star Laura Gemser. Lilli Carati takes the lead in this tale of slavery, drugs, and all-things sex in the ‘40s, and D’Amato receives mad props for actually having production values for a change. Severin rounds out this lascivious goody with a vintage interview with the late D’Amato.

Schoolgirl Report: Vol. #6 – What Parents Would Gladly Hush Up (Impulse Pictures) – It’s a German-made production from 1973, set in a high school full of oversexed and oh-so-sultry teenage nymphs, and it’s now available to drool over on DVD. How much further do I need to boast a must-see like this for you?

Horat (Pink Lotus Entertainment, Inc.) – The full title of this DVD releases reads Horat! The Sexual Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Beautiful Nation Of Kaksuckistan, which pretty much sums up the amount of classiness to be found here. There’s nothing like being topical in the cinematic world of sex: if a mainstream movie is a success, then you gotta make a spoof with a lot of suck-cess. So, why did it take the filmmakers behind this winner so long to come up with a hardcore spoof of Borat? Hell if I know. The bigger question is, “Why did they make said hardcore spoof and then opt to edit out all of the hardcore goods and release this as a softcore flick? As least that’s what it looks like they did to me. Porn stars Tommy Pistol, If you enjoy Cable TV porn, here’s your ticket to happiness.

Vamp Vixens (Brookland Bros. Entertainment) – Yup, it’s more Cable TV porn. This time, however, the series of story-less, non-related vignettes feature a lot of tattooed and gothy Suicide-looking Girls. The whole thing is hosted by Luna Moon, a dominatrix-vampire lady.

I Am Virgin (Independent Media Distribution) – Blame Twilight. I do (of course, I blame Twilight for everything). Granted, vampires and sex have walked hand-in-gooey-hand long before those Catholic nuns ever started swapping kids with rulers, but the recent Twilight fad seems to have given way to more vampiric oddities than most people would care to look at. An obvious play on I Am Legend, I Am Virgin tells the T&A-filled tale of the last man on Earth (Adam Davis), and his mis-adventures in a world inhabited solely by sex-crazed vampire chicks. Naturally, Ron Jeremy still manages to make a guest appearance. The bottom line: it has better dialogue than Twilight and it’s waymore entertaining than I Am Legend!

Happy viewing, kids!

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About Luigi Bastardo

Luigi Bastardo is the disgruntled alter-ego of a thirtysomething lad from Northern California who has watched so many weird movies since the tender age of 3 that a conventional life is out of the question. He currently lives in Chico, CA with four cats named Groucho, Harpo, Chico, and Margaret. Seriously.