My cd player swears at me. It probably realizes that I resent it’s existence. For a cheap, boombox-sized cd player it works well. For being an annoying piece of crap, I wanna punt in into the next state.
When it’s plugged in it constantly flashes three colors at me, neon red, neon green, and peach. And it’s display screen displays little messages. “TAPE,” “RADIO,” “CD,” then it says “HELLO.” And then that “RADIO” scrolls.
” HELLO ”
Did you catch that? It said, “O Hell.” My ancestors would be turning in their graves. They would lament the dawning of the technological age. Curses would rain down from the sky. So to avoid eternal cursing I must find a cure.
A quick internet search brings up some suggestions. “Wash tape deck out with soap.” “Sell cd player to a Satanist.” “Try a placebo.” None of those seemed like a great course to take.
It was while flipping through US News & World Report that the answer came to me in an ad for some herbal treatment. Their slogan was “Neutralize the bad with some good!” It suggested taking their pill after eating junk food to help offset the negative effects of junk food. The idea it gave me was to play some really good music to soothe the sting of my cd player’s swearing.
I tried several cds, with no effect, before I popped in Jem’s “Finally Woken” album. From the begining note I sunk into my couch, awe struck. Jem’s voice was beautiful and she knew how to use it. The song arrangements were stunning. The overall sound was rich.
The crowning achievement of the cd is “They.” It bubbled with it’s soaring melody, it’s techno beat, layered vocals, and delicate strings. Beyond that, the majority of the cd is above par. There are a couple of tracks that need to be skipped, but most of it is sweet as honey.
One person said that the entire cd feels like a variation on “They,” implying that Jem is a one trick pony. I don’t quite see it myself. Yes, the songs sound distinctly Jem, but I don’t mistake one melody for another. I don’t see an undue amount of song structure repetition, either. It’s definitely an above solid effort.
My cd player flounced unhappily at having it’s plan thwarted. Sure, it still scrolls “HELLO” but I’m not cursed for life. Which is a great load off of my mind.