Jacko Transformation Solved: I Want a TV Special

I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out who Michael Jackson (the “pop oddity” in the words of E!’s very funny Julie Keller) looks like. It has been driving me crazy. But look closely at this picture of Jackson in court yesterday, and then this picture of equally peculiar singer Klaus Nomi, who was the very first celebrity to die of AIDS, way back in 1983. Thriller came out in ’83 and with it the beginning of the Jackson transformation, nay, transmogrification.

Did Nomi invade Jackson’s body and gradually bend it to his own will and trans-human appearance? How ELSE would you explain the mutation of Jackson from an immensely talented, spunky young black man to a wan, freakish, genderless, semi-Caucasoid alien baby-dangler? I’m afraid the spirit-of-Nomi is the least-unlikely explanation for Jackson’s alien-ation.

And all these years we have blamed Michael for this bizarre morph into Neverland – we have been blaming the victim! I want the old Michael back, the Michael of Off the Wall, the Michael of “I Want You Back” (another coincidence? I think not – it’s precognition) and “Ben,” and “Farewell My Summer Love” (well, not the song) – this thoughtful young fellow. Bring back this ‘fro and that nose.

We need an exorcist and we need one now for the sake of Michael, his children, and the world. Maybe even Lisa Marie could love him again.

This stupid trial in Santa Maria, California is as dry as dirt. Tomorrow, after Jackson/Nomi limps (spider bite my foot!) out of court, let’s toss some holy water in his pasty Kabuki face, throw a bag over him, and haul him off to this fellow before Michael/Klaus ends up like this. I’m not sure we can trust any other Catholic priests under the circumstances.

There isn’t a moment to lose: Nomi! your return to the netherworld is at hand. More on the demon Nomi here.