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It’s not your Mother’s Fathers Movement anymore

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In honor of Fathers Day here is “It’s not your Mother’s Fathers Movement anymore.” It’s pretty long, so grab a cup of coffee and get comfortable. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

I’m a 40-something, independent, liberal, California single mother of four and grandmother to one, and I’m working within the Fathers Movement. This surprises some people. They must wonder why I’m championing these men if it’s true that, “fathers who seek custody, they’re not all great fathers.” That was the truth according to Mira Fox, who runs Child Abuse Solutions, Inc. when she testified in May against AB 1307, California’s shared parenting bill. Shared parenting, (joint physical custody), and this bill are supported by professionals in the legal, medical, and mental health fields and by family rights organizations, veterans groups and individuals all over California. People across the nation, and around the globe applauded our efforts on behalf of children, and I was proud to be in Sacramento that day. I watched Fox testifying and the picture she painted disturbed me.

Fox said, “Children are often given into the custody of abusive fathers.” According to my research, in approximately 70 percent of all California child custody cases mothers receive sole physical custody. Fathers receive it approximately 10 percent of the time. (Nationwide mothers receive sole physical custody 84 percent of the time.) If children are given into the custody of abusive fathers, they’re given into the custody of abusive mothers as well. Mothers it turns out are most likely to harm a child. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Administration on Children, Youth and Families, approximately two-fifths (40.8 percent) of child victims were neglected or abused by “their mothers acting alone.” Just 18.8 percent were maltreated by their fathers acting alone, (and 1 7 percent of children were abused or neglected by both their mothers and fathers).

Fox testified about the sexual abuse of children. By far most child custody cases do not involve the sexual abuse of children, but the words alone can strike fear. I don’t blame her. She wanted to win, and she’s good at it. It’s what she does for a living. Fox’s organization, by her own testimony that day, trains people in the family court system how to litigate and adjudicate child sexual abuse cases. I care about victims of abuse too. I want to make sure that no child is put in harm’s way. AB 1307, like most shared parenting bills, had provisions to protect children who are victims of abuse. This was a non-issue. But again, the subject of child abuse was brought up.

It disturbs me greatly that Fox casually painted fathers as perpetrators of incest when in fact fathers are the least likely of all males to commit sexual abuse. According to the January 2005 Male Perpetrators of Child Maltreatment: Findings from NCANDS, fathers are, “less likely than other male perpetrators to be involved in sexual abuse.” Keeping fathers in the lives of their children protects them.

This tactic, mentioning sexual abuse, is similar to our opponents bringing up abusive and “controlling men”. These men are the minority. The same is true about men in the Men’s Movement, (not to be confused with the Father and Family Rights Movement), who want to completely eliminate child support, and the ones who want to revert to patriarchy. Sure, they’re out there, but they do not represent the people I work with, the people who are fighting for equality in child custody. We are the real Fathers and Family Rights Movement.

And I do call it fighting sometimes. It feels like that when I have to deal with the politics of it. At one time I had no idea that I would be pitted against people who are fighting equality. This is America. The whole idea astounds me. I find it frustrating that the opponents of joint physical custody use sensationalism to “win” when it is most beneficial to our children when we all just stay honest and above board.

When I first encountered the Fathers Movement it was by accident. My son was having a child outside of marriage and he asked me for help. His father had abandoned him as a baby shortly after he and I divorced. My son later told me that the most important thing in his life was to be a good dad. He wanted to be the best father he could be, in every possible way. When he learned in his 20’s that he was going to be a father and that marriage wasn’t a possibility, he asked me to find out how to insure he’d be a large part of his child’s life. I had been successfully co-parenting with his sister’s father, a man I’d never married, for 15 years so we both knew it was possible. I was happy to see him looking into parenting plans and caring for the baby’s mother. Unfortunately, shortly after his daughter’s birth an attorney was hired, my son was served a summons for family court, and the situation turned adversarial. I went online to see what I could learn, unknowingly stepping into the Fathers Movement.

Shortly after I became involved in the movement, I realized there was a battle going on between a handful of radical patriarchs, called “angry fathers rights activists” by the radical feminists and a handful of radical feminists, called “feminazis” by the radical patriarchs, with both sides tossing around accusations, insults, and outdated and inaccurate statistics to try to prove their side was right. I decided to do my own research, to see what the truth really is. I’ll admit I was put off by the hostility. I can almost understand why the Fathers Movement has a bad reputation. I saw posts online like, “You might get lucky. The Ex might lose interest or get hit by a truck.” Oh, wait, that quote isn’t from a Fathers Movement web site. That’s from an anti-Fathers Movement, anti-equal custody activist’s web site. The same woman, who has never met my reformist friends, or me, yet sent a letter from her state to my legislators calling us “angry fathers’ rights activists.”

What I found as I dug deeper through the maze of “bad facts” was that both sides were describing the same thing. Both sides exposed the same broken court system. These quotes, “it really depends upon the Judge, which GAL, (Guardian ad Litem), or Evaluator is used and all the biases he or they might hold” and “it’s not simply a matter of attorney v. attorney (or facts or laws or even evaluators, all of which are key players) as much as it is the strategy of knowing which cases to bring before which judges”, came from the same anti-Fathers Movement online forum. I’ve read similar statements many times in the Fathers Movement forums.

I naively assumed that since my son had been a great father during the entire pregnancy, and since joint physical custody had been law in our state for over 20 years, that he would be treated as an equal to his child’s mother. I was shocked by what happened as he went through the family court system. He was prevented from having equal physical custody of his daughter by what could only be called gender bias. Lies were accepted as truth, physical evidence was ignored, the “best interest of the child” and justice were not served. I will never forget his anguish or the trauma my granddaughter went through. I knew that I could not turn my back on this kind of blatant bias and injustice.

It’s now been three years and I’ve learned that the injustice and heartbreak my son went through is happening to fathers, and some mothers, not only all over California, but also all over America, and even all over the world. I’ve learned that what used to be the Fathers Movement has become more of a Family Rights Movement with the inclusion of noncustodial mothers, grandparents trying to get their grandchildren out of foster care, and families dealing with Child Protection Services, (CPS). And I’ve learned that gender bias isn’t the only problem in the family courts.

I’m honored to be associated with advocates, activists and reformists in more than a dozen countries including the US, Canada, the UK, Germany, Scotland, South Africa, New Zealand, Australia and Italy. I’ve heard hundreds of personal accounts from parents. Everywhere, all around the world parents are saying the system is broken, that it doesn’t serve the needs of today’s families. Part of the problem is that the adversarial winner-take-all atmosphere of the current family court system is causing unnecessary conflict and hostility, financial devastation, and worst of all, the tragic separation of decent, fit, loving parents from their children.

Many fathers have told me that they want both equal physical and legal custody, but they only got joint legal custody. Instead of having significant quality time to truly parent their children, instead of getting the respect they deserve and access to programs that are now exclusively for custodial parents, noncustodial parents simply have “the parental right to make major decisions regarding the child’s health, education and welfare” and have “visitation” with their children.

Jeffery Shipman, 44, a New York father to 21-month-old Deonna, can only see his daughter every other weekend and one weekday evening. He told me, “People often say to me now, “It must be getting easier now, huh Jeff?” I always reply, “It never gets easier” …and you know, a part of me never wants this miniscule amount of time to ever become “easier” for me. For if one day per week becomes “easier” to cope with and I would be considered “adjusted”, that would tell me I’m not doing my job as a father. It’s totally unnatural as a dad not to see my own child for a week straight.”

Approximately one-third of the participants in the Fathers Movement, or Family Rights Movement as some call it, are women. Some are grandmothers like me, some are second wives or girlfriends. Others are professionals or concerned citizens, and some are noncustodial moms like Beverly Morris. Beverly, 39, lives in Florida with her husband and their child, and is a noncustodial parent to two children in Pennsylvania. She told me, “It’s been over seven years and I still feel raped, angry, and severely robbed of my parental rights to raise (my) children.” Beverly is now founder and President of The National Association of Non Custodial Moms, Inc., an online emotional support forum for noncustodial parents of both genders. She said, “It makes me feel like the court system doesn’t care at all what is in the best interest of children; they only care that they continue to make money through hearing after hearing; a trap which I refuse to fall into, and I refuse to put my children through.”

I’ve heard supporters of sole custody say that liberal visitation is adequate for maintaining a close parent-child relationship, yet they aren’t considering the families who are forced to deal with move-aways and estrangement. According to Rebecca Mackey, a remarried 27-year-old noncustodial mother to one, “I lost a part of my heart that has never repaired itself. The phases I feel are similar to the ones that people go through after someone dies. The only difference is that you don’t get to go on with life and remember them. You get to go on with life knowing that they miss you and need you and you are helpless to do anything about it. There is no closure, just a constant searing pain in your soul that some big part of yourself is missing.”

The fathers I know in the movement are regular dads; average, responsible, fit, loving fathers, just everyday dads like you meet in your neighborhood. Yet, they are prevented from fully parenting their children. Unmarried fathers, fathers to one-third of all the babies born in our country, are almost universally denied physical custody of their children. They’re told, “It’s against policy” by mediators, attorneys and judges. Bill Sharp, 51, a never-married Illinois father to 14-year-old Tasha and 15-year-old Willy lost his joint physical custody after his former partner refused to cooperate with the courts. Instead of giving custody to the parent who was most willing to facilitate a relationship between the children and the other parent, the judge awarded sole custody to the mother. Bill told me he still remembers the judge in his case saying, “The father should not be upset because this is how it ends up in 90 per cent of the cases.”

Bill’s son Willy said, “I’m angry and confused. I went to court and told the judge I wanted week-week. I don’t have bad parents. That’s what’s fair. It’s the best thing I can think of. The judge said he’d give me week-week. But then it was taken away from me before it even started and no one told me why. They ought to give a reason if they’re going to take away time with a parent. No one gave me a reason”. He went on, “Mom gave me a reason, she said she was the better parent. Mom tells me that 50/50 is bad but doesn’t tell me why. She was always trying to convince me that 50/50 was a bad idea.” Willy then said the same thing I was thinking, “I don’t understand why the one who is compromising is punished.”

Warren Farrell, Ph.D., author of Father and Child Reunion told me, “Fighting to be the primary parent is not a mothering instinct – or a fathering instinct – it is an instinct of territoriality. Any mother with a mothering instinct senses that children need both their mom and their dad because children are both their mom and their dad. When they are missing either, they are missing that half of themselves. The children who need most the stability of both halves of themselves are the children of divorce, especially those children whose parents are the most in conflict.”

Bill added, “Ask any kid what they want in a custody solution and they’ll tell you they want both their mom and their dad; and they’ll tell you that they want them equally. Why? Well, primarily because it’s really what they want. But most kids have had fairness drilled into them as part of their parent’s, and school’s, and church’s, and their role models’ instruction as to the proper way to go through life.”

Jamil Jabr, who has been divorced for 2 years and has one child, has been involved in organizing Fathers-4-Justice in the United States. He has been working to build the group as a recognized non-profit, charitable organization. His intention is to support the gender-neutral civil rights movement in America that is fighting for equality in child custody. Jamil, who lives in Minnesota, told me, “Replacing the presumption of sole physical custody with joint physical custody will remove the need to have a winner and a loser. It won’t take much to change the presumption so that everyone can be a winner, particularly children, families and society, once the voice of the people stands up to the entrenched special interests and profiteers which, fortunately, are in the minority but, unfortunately, extremely powerful and loathe to change.”

One falsehood that is repeated about joint custody is that it is forced 50/50. This is not true. Most parents, including people in the movement, realize it isn’t realistic to split timeshare exactly down the middle. The age of the child, relationship with parents prior to the custody hearing, the work schedule of each parent, these are all things that need to be taken into account by both parents. When you hear “equal custody” it means the parents are equal, not necessarily the time. From the moment they sit down at the negotiating table to the day the judge makes his order, they should be equals, and in today’s family court system they are not.

Adryenn Ashley, a motion picture producer with 21st Century Pictures Group is one of the women in the movement. She lives in California with her husband and their 2-year-old son. Adryenn experienced the injustice of the family court system firsthand while helping her husband with his case from a previous marriage. Since then she has been filming a documentary about the family courts and how they impact families in the United States. The Family Alliance Council, a not-for-profit company that promotes positive images of families and responsible role models, funds the documentary . Adryenn observed, “We can make the future better for our children, but we have to put aside our own personal prejudices and work toward the real best interests of the children. And I think we can all agree, that a profit machine that sucks billions of dollars out of the pockets of taxpayers, thus reducing the amount available to fund the future generations, is not in anyone’s best interest.”

According to Ronald Rohner and Robert Veneziano, authors of The Importance of Father Love: History and Contemporary Evidence, (Review of General Psychology 5.4, 2001), “Having a loving and nurturing father was as important for a child’s happiness, well-being, and social and academic success as having a loving and nurturing mother.” I’m happy to report that today my son and his daughter’s mother co-parent successfully. They communicate often and in positive terms about their daughter, they both remain flexible with drop-off and pick-up times and days, and my granddaughter shows the benefit of knowing that both of her parents love her always, and that neither are ever far away, or away for long.

Wendy Sheppard, 34, a licensed social worker and life coach who has shared custody of her 8-year-old son told me, “We have a week on/week off custody arrangement in which we both see our son every day no matter where he sleeps. My clients and friends often remark at how “lucky” I am to have such a mutual arrangement with my ex. I don’t consider myself “lucky”. I’m doing what’s best for my son because it’s about HIM, not ME. It’s not luck – it’s about putting my personal feelings aside and doing what’s best for my son.”

When asked, the general public has shown overwhelming support for shared parenting and equal custody. As reported by Fathers & Families in November 2004, 37 districts in Massachusetts had a non-binding ballot question asking if voters supported shared parenting. With over 600,000 votes cast, 86 percent of the voting public said “Yes.” In Michigan recently the Detroit News carried out an on-line survey asking the following question, “For divorcing parents, should Michigan courts make equally shared custodial responsibility of children the standard?” Again, 86 percent of respondents voted “Yes”.

What I’ve learned in the last three years in the movement is that children want equal access to both of their parents and that parents of both genders want equal access to their children. I’ve learned that studies show children adjust to divorce best when they maintain the same level of contact with their parents as they had before the divorce and that in some cases shared parenting can actually reduce conflict between parents. I learned that other unmarried parents could successfully co-parent, even if they didn’t think they could. And I learned that society supports shared parenting and equal custody. To answer the question of why I’m working within the Fathers Movement, I’m here to tell the truth.

Teri Stoddard

For more information on shared parenting please visit these web sites:

Children’s Rights Council
Families and Fathers Conference
Fathers & Families
Fathers4Justice-united
Noncustodial Moms
Shared Parenting Works


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About Teri in Cali, Feminist4Fathers, Queen of Equality

  • To-Be-Granny

    Great article. I have two sons caught in this bias system. Neither one will have their child on Fathers Day.

    This should be called, “the CHILDRENS movement”

    The time for change is well past due. I say Bring it on!

  • Steve Butler

    Great article. The winds of change are blowing. We must all stand and fan together

  • J Carmine

    Ms Stoddard has hit the nail on the head. She cleary sees the plight children now suffer at the hands of such a perverse legal system amalgamated with the perverse fascist ideology of third wave feminists. She recognizes that both are perversities that support child abuse. Her article gives me optimism that there is indeed a new wave of feminism coming: independent feminism. Perhaps some good has come from the collapse of the twin towers — mindless victim-liberalism may finally be giving way to genuine classical liberal thought; free thought and free speech are begining to be cherished again and fascist ideologies be they Islamist, Feminist or even Christian are losing their sway. America may finally be fed up with the whining of the spoiled rich white N.O.W. crowd. A new day is coming and Stoddard sees it! Thank you Terri. Keep writing!!!

  • Fed up

    Long past due, society is a mess, things need to change. A child deserves BOTH PARENTS.

    This is everyones problem, not just the NCP. If things continue as they are, what kind of mess will we be in 10 years down the road.

    We can not leave this for the next generation. My kids are worth fighting for. No one should have to face this hell.

  • D

    Teri,

    Another great subject….but, your son should have just married his child’s mother and he nor other’s like him would be in the clutches of the court’s mixed-up, mish-mash perspective on morality! I’m soo tired of you and your readers blaming women (instead you use ‘feminist’) to excuse men’s irresponsibility. Perhaps if men – dare I say it – stayed virgins til they married and bore children in a stable relationship, none of us would be caught up in this very sensitive topic or have to consider voting on ‘responsibly and fairly deviating’ from the right thing in the first place – men too must wait til marriage to enjoy its’ spoils – and yes, parenthood is a wonderful ‘spoil’ too!
    I criticize your condemnation of the women instead of the laws – which women did not write! Yes, Teri, even Men are guilty for using their positional powers in the judicial system to sway outcomes their way! You seem to forget your history. Once upon a time, it was the men who didn’t want to be bothered with their children when they wanted to move on to another relationship and put up a fight NOT to have their children ruin their new life! You forget it was a woman’s only duty in life to rear children, not a man’s! Now your attitude is that a woman who bears a child isn’t worthy of parenting her own child – on her own terms. Who’s terms should she raise HER child on? That of some unsupportive, absent man?! If he wants in – work, marry, support emotionally and financially! It takes what it takes, no more, no less! Women with less are getting it done without men and now as women hardly have any other legal protections as it is, here you come to sneakily strip away at a woman’s parenting rights too! Here’s you resolution: Why not just give men a womb and be done with it?! How populated do you think the planet would be then?! It’s soo easy isn’t it to blame all fault and wrong in the world on a woman! As you have shown, it’s easy even for a woman! How lucky these irresponsible men are to have women on their side no matter what they do wrong! They can’t even raise up support for THEIR own movement without women! How wonderful life is for them! Hopefully law will stick to women’s side on this matter.

  • http://feminist4fathers.blogspot.com/ Teri In Cali

    To D,

    You are assuming an awful lot. All you have to do is ask me.

    First, my son didn’t have the opportunity to marry his daughter’s mom. She was the one to keep him at a distance.

    These two adults dated on and off for several years. They both consiously had sex without protection. They are equally responsible for their child.

    My son was the perfect father throughout the pregnancy and has been ever since the birth. If the child’s mother was behaving appropriately and my son was not, I would write that. I tell the truth.

    My granddaughter deserves equal relationships with both parents, and has since the day of her birth.

    At this time they co-parent quite successfully. This is something they could have been doing since the birth, if family law courts didn’t facilitate the removal of fathers from their children’s lives.

    I have never once written that men are always innocent and women are always guilty, and I’ve noticed you’ve written that about me pubically. I don’t appreciate that.

    I am a single mother. Some of my own children have been abandoned by their dad, so I do understand the full scope of these issues.

    Just because some men do this doesn’t mean we should assume most women are telling the truth and most men are lying. That is ridiculous. Courts should be making decisions based proof, not on words.

    Most divorces are initiated by women, so it’s not really applicable for you to criticize men for this. Most of the men I know would prefer that their marriages were still intact.

    The reason 40% of kids without dads in the home never see them is because 30% of all kids are born to single mothers. These men usually get no custody awards and are at the mercy of the mother to have a relationship with their child. Like I said, not every father is missing by his own doing. Many are kept away.

    I agree children should be born into stable marriages. I agree children should have 2 parents who provide for them. I also think both parents should help facilitate the relationship with the other parent.

    Teri
    Feminist4Fathers
    http://feminist4fathers.blogspot.com/

  • Jeremy Swanson

    Right on Teri!

    I think your post was desperately needed both in order to explain your position and de-rail your critics and also to put the position and support and efforts of so many of our women supporters into perspective.

    I do however have some trouble believing your figure of one third of the “movement” being women. I am not saying you are wrong but I need to see some proof. My ‘feeling’ on this is that the real figure for supportive women and NCP females is probably closer to the 15 % level. But then I don’t have proof either.

    Certainly if I had to ‘measure’ this by just watching the involvement and posts on the net it might even seem to some that barely 10% of the people in the Men’s Movement in North America are female.

    But don’t let that stop you and your efforts or any of our women supporters and members of the movement. You are doing a great job and you are definitely one of us.

    Of that there is no doubt.

    Swannie

  • step mom to a vapor

    I joined this movement after my husband and I had been court ordered to pay child support for five years for a child that never was. Now that is a classic example of family court anti Father bias,judges ruling by personal views/choices and not by the letter of the law. This particular case may be rare, although I know we will find more soon enough, the judiciary is becoming even more blatant in their anti family decisions. Parents should share equally in the loving, nurturing and support of their children, a fundamental right. Unfortunately, thanks to VAWA and federal reimbursement incentive for each child support order created plus each dollar collected, the lawyers,judges,guardian ad litems are so busy looking at the $$ that they wouldn’t know “the best interest of the child” if it flew by them in a balloon. The really sad part in far too many divorce disasters today is that the parents are divorcing, not the child(ren), yet they suffer most of all. It should end with the child(ren) still enjoying time with both parents in their lives just as before, only now they have two cool bedrooms to call their own instead of one. This can’t always happen but it should work more than not. Praying someday soon we can all get back to the fairness and civility to be equal parents and not just custodial parent vs. walking wallet/visitor. We need the government out of our personal lives and out of our homes, all the way out!

    Shelly

  • http://vision4children@yahoogroups.com tom porter

    Boy oh boy …..this lends itself to so many comments D…..

    Your hatred for men is truly sad and [edited]

    I’m a single dad and I have custody of my daughter who just turned 9

    If my narsacisstic wife had not chosen to screw everything that did’nt move faster than her because she was turning 40 and was worried she could no longer live on her looks alone we would still be married

    I never chose to raise my kids alone or to drag them into the fight but as a worthless man I figured I would rather take my kids to the mall to find a piece of ass rather than go get a damn puppy

    [edited]….there are alot of dads out here that are a lot more capable parents than the gaggle of self absorbed make up counter frequenting, tennis pro screwing, gimme a bigger rock than my neighbor begging, Jenny am I too fat asking, whats your new book oprah asking, doctor phil watching, stay at home and hire a nanny types that refuse to drive the mini van that I would love to have and insist that their hubbys buy them a new H2 so they can impress the kids mowing the lawn and maybe come over and play Mrs. robinson [edited].

    I fight my ass off every day as does teri and you [edited] just piss me off

    I’m voting for the death penalty for stupidity next election [edited]

    George Carlin once said ….did ya ever notice that all those women at the hate men rallies are the ones nobody would wanna have sex or children with anyway

    [edited]

    because maam…..I know some damn fine feminists and you most certainly are not one of them

    [edited]
    Tom

  • http://www.laryholland.org/serendipity/ Lary Holland

    Teri. First, I want to thank you for your contributions. They are valued.

    Second, I am lucky enough to have a very supportive network AFTER my tumultuous five year relationship with my children’s mother. It was a breath of fresh air to reconnect with friends and family that actually could see past themselves after being stuck in such a limiting relationship. When I left that relationship, the longer I was gone, the more ridiculous the accusations got by my ex.

    I sponsor equal parenting and shared parental responsibility, but in circumstances where the other parent only cares about her/himself this is a more difficult decision. My ex leaves the children with everyone else instead of actually caring for the children, and just wants to fight to keep some cashflow. Even tonight, my children are stuck at her parents’ house, while I miss them and was prevented from speaking with them on the telephone.

    Equal parenting MEANS equal parenting, but only where the other parent can demonstrably actually be a parent.

  • http://www.wcprusa.org Noodle

    Teri,

    My husband’s situation is extremely similar to yours, except they began living together when she found out she was pregnant. Sadly, neither of them felt the relationship was working and split when the child was 2. They were excercising 50/50 parenting until the mom contacted an attorney. She was advised that the court would only grant the father every other weekend, and then the mother advised my husband of that fact and began denying him the liberal time they had mutually agreed upon. In our state, the more time the father spends with the child, the less CHILD SUPPORT the mother gets. We both believe her denials of visiation early on were based on money.

    A great deal of time has passed and my huband and I have been together for almost 8 years now, but the mom is still vindictive, hateful and attempts to destroy the relationship with the father. We are still excercising every other weekend visiation, etc. Do you know how hard it is to maintain a bond with a child when you only get to see them two times a month?

    I will add that we did temporarily move out of state and then moved back. We had to start court proceedings to get visitation changed. The mother went so far as to send the child to a psychologist, yet she was feeding the psychologist what she wanted her to say. When my husband met with the psychologist she was shocked that he was nothing like the tyrant the mother and child were claiming. Children are impressionable and they will side with whomever they fear the most, which is the primary parent mostly. The child was not actually saying anything bad about his father but this psychologist took the mother’s comments and construed the child’s intent. You absolutely cannot trust all professionals out there. Many are bias and cannot be trusted.

    I wholheartedly support equal parenting and shared parenting when the parents are both fit. I also support removing the bias in our legislative and judicial system which prohibits judges from looking at custody objectively. I believe that most parents know this is the right thing to do in their hearts, yet allow the external forces in their lives, such as our laws and bad attorneys, to sway them from doing what is right by their child.

  • http://www.blogcritics.com T A Dodger

    alot of dads out here that are a lot more capable parents than the gaggle of self absorbed make up counter frequenting, tennis pro screwing, gimme a bigger rock than my neighbor begging, Jenny am I too fat asking, whats your new book oprah asking, doctor phil watching, stay at home and hire a nanny types that refuse to drive the mini van that I would love to have and insist that their hubbys buy them a new H2 so they can impress the kids mowing the lawn and maybe come over and play Mrs. robinson with skanks like you.

    I hope you don’t wonder why so many people think the fathers’ rights movement is full of angry ex-husbands who hate women.

  • http://www.dadsofmichigan.org Darrick

    So now that we know how we feel and we all seem to agree that JOINT physical child custody is the goal for ALL so maybe we all can do something. Please e-mail, call and write your local politicians about legislation to mandate a presumption of joint physical child custody. Plus join a group that focuses on this. This is the only way we are going to get equal rights for all.

  • http://feminist4fathers.blogspot.com/ Teri

    If you’re in California you can help by visiting this page: link to learn about the CA Shared Parenting Ballot Initiative. If you’re in New Hampshire you can help by visiting this page: link to learn about HB529. Thanks! Teri