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Interview: Frank Zaccari, Author of When the Wife Cheats

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Frank Zaccari is a native of upstate New York, who earned a degree in finance from California State University at Sacramento after serving as a military medic in the U.S. Air Force. Mr. Zaccari spent over 25 years in the high-tech industry where he held positions from account representative to CEO.  For nearly 20 years, Mr. Zaccari specialized in turn-around management of companies under 100 million dollars. Once becoming a single, custodial parent after nearly 25 years of marriage, he left an industry that he loved to buy a small business in order to be home to raise his children. Frank Zaccari is currently the owner of an insurance agency and resides in Sacramento, California. Frank Zaccari’s previous book is From The Ashes: The Rise of the University of Washington Volleyball Program

Readers can learn more about Frank Zaccari and his works by visiting his website.

Please tell us a bit about your book, When the Wife Cheats, and what you hope readers take away from reading it.

It is about a family, father, and young daughters, discovering then coping with and ultimately surviving the lies, deceit, betrayal and abandonment of infidelity. I hope readers will understand two things:

First is the absolute devastation that infidelity inflicts on a family.

• The single greatest violation of trust in the single most important relationship (marriage).
• It destroys relationships, marriages, families, friendships, careers, businesses and reputations.
• It often leads to financial ruin for one or both parties.
• It leaves you with the feelings of depression, failure, betrayal, loss of self esteem, isolation, worthlessness, intense sorrow and grief.
• It destroys hope, faith, trust, dreams, goals and plans.

Second is you are not alone. You can and will cope and survive. It will be the hardest thing you will ever do, but you will survive.

I hope and pray that you never suffer the devastation of infidelity, but if you do, let me leave you with this one last thought. When you find yourself in the depths of depression and sorrow; when you don’t believe you have the strength to even get out of bed; when you have no idea how you are going to survive the next hour – let alone raise your children. Believe me you will have ALL of these feelings. When you feel completely overwhelmed – remember this:
Look up…Get up…And never ever Give up.

Who/what inspires you the most within your book?

This book is based on several true stories woven into one book. I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist. I am not a family counselor, or self help guru. I am just your average American man. After my wife left our family, I had no intention of writing a book. I became a single custodial parent for two teenage daughters. My daughters were devastated when their mother left. We spent many hours in counseling.

What I learned from family counselors, social workers and sociology professors was that a woman walking away from her family is a relatively new development. I was told that this is the first generation in the U.S. where the wife/mother abandons the family. They quickly added there is little to no research on the impact this behavior will have on children, particularly daughters. One counselor suggested that I write a book. She said it will help my daughters validate their feeling. Being a guy – I had no desire to even talk about this situation let alone write a book, but I did discuss it with my daughters. They both agreed it would be a good idea and they wanted to be involved in the process. My oldest daughter said if this helps one family avoid this horrible situation then it will be worth the effort. I still wasn’t convinced.

As the word about my wife’s affair and leaving the family made its way around our community, a strange thing happened; male friends and acquaintances told me how sorry they were and shared a similar experience. I was shocked. I had no idea so many men had been victimized by infidelity. I thought I was the only man who was so terrible that my wife not only left me, she left our entire family. I knew something was terribly wrong with our marriage, but I had no idea what it was and my wife was not forthcoming with the reason. This topic is now being discussed on radio and television talk shows. We need to get this topic out in the open so we can help father led families know they can survive and eventually thrive.

Do you have a favorite line or excerpt from your book?

My favorite line is:

There comes a time in your life when you realize; who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore and who always will… So don’t worry about the people from your past; there is a reason they didn’t make it to your future.

If your current release were to be turned into a movie, who would you love to see play what characters and why?

A younger Robert De Niro would be a perfect Tony. He brings so much passion to every role. I could see Tom Hanks or Gerard Butler playing Tony since they are very good at showing the range of human emotion.

Gwyneth Paltrow or Kate Winslet would make an excellent Denise. Both possess great physical beauty and can play a dark sinister role.

What are your favorite aspects of writing?

I love telling a story. My books give me the outlet to put my experiences into a story that I hope will make people think and want to share their feeling about my story with friends.

You’re least favorite aspects of writing?

I despise the editing and constant proof-reading process. Not one of my strengths.

Who are some of your favorite authors/books?

I love authors who tell great stories. I have read every Sidney Sheldon book. He was an amazing story teller. I enjoy Jeffrey Archer’s ability to create intrigue and the ability that Mitch Albom, Nicholas Sparks and Tim Russert have to touch the reader’s heart.

What are you reading right now?

At the moment I am reading Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom. It is a wonderful book. I just read Wisdom of Our Fathers by Tim Russert a second time.

If you could have a dinner party and invite five authors – dead or alive – who would they be and what would you serve them?

The five authors I would love to have at a dinner party would be Sidney Sheldon, Jeffrey Archer, Mitch Albom, Nicholas Sparks and Tim Russert. Being Italian I would make a huge batch of crap cioppino and plenty of Chianti wine and just let these amazing writers share their stories. I expect the dinner would last into the wee hours of the morning.

What is a book that you wish you could say that you had written and why?

I really love Tim Russert’s book Wisdom of Our Fathers because it is so family focused. I love to hear stories about family traditions, culture and secrets. I hope readers see the strong family connection in my books.

What is the greatest piece of advice (for writing and/or just living) that you have heard?

When I feel completely overwhelmed – when I feel things can’t get any worse I always try to remember to:
Look up…Get up…And never ever Give up.

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