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Interview: Dee A. Levy & B. Sheffield Hunt, Authors of The Cross Dresser’s Wife: Our Secret Lives

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As the founder of the nonprofit organization Cross Dressers Wives, Dee A. Levy’s mission is to provide a safe environment for cross dressers’ wives everywhere. Since 2006, the website has emerged as one of the top support sites which is designed to address the many needs of all women who are (or were) involved in an intimate relationship with a cross dresser. The Forum encourages cross dressers’ wives from all across the globe to reach out and anonymously share their experiences.  This is enables the women to learn from each other without fear of being judged or humiliated. Ms. Levy also holds degrees in women’s studies and education.

A writer, producer, and artist who resides in Hollywood, California, B. Sheffield Hunt holds a degree in fine art and is also the cover illustrator of The Cross Dresser’s Wife: Our Secret Lives.

To learn more about the authors and their work, you can visit their website.

Please tell us a bit about your book and what you hope readers take away from reading it.

At long last, a new collection of gripping memoirs aims to guide society towards compassion, understanding, and enlightenment by offering valuable and emotionally intimate social commentary on the misunderstood and taboo subculture of cross dressing. Culled from women on the Forum at, these untold stories expose, for the first time, the shocking secret lives led by many cross dressers’ wives and partners who silently grapple with the thorny issue of transvestism in their marriage or relationship. Most of us do not even realize that cross dressers’ wives exist.

Who/what inspires you the most within your book?

Shelly, the author of “Gaslighting,” story #3 within The Cross Dresser’s Wife: Our Secret Lives, shares an exceptionally inspiring story, if only because she survives unbelievable circumstances and emerges to create a new, better life for herself and her children.

Do you have a favorite line or excerpt from your book?

“Going home, I made dinner, cleaned the house, took care of the kids, and continued to try to accept the strange, demanding woman who used to be my husband.”

If your current release were to be turned into a movie, who would you love to see play what characters and why?

For every beleaguered heroine in our book, there is a quixotic scoundrel. In story #5, “Mr. Wonderful”’s eponymous rogue could be brought to further life by Stanley Tucci, with his bewildered high society wife subtly portrayed by Madeleine Stowe. Story #3, “Gaslighting,” has a central character that Colin Farrell could pour ferocious intensity into, with Emma Stone hovering nearby as his terrified, long-suffering “country girl” wife.

What are your favorite aspects of writing?

Levy – I find the process of writing to be cathartic — just letting go of my thoughts and emotions on to a piece of paper soothes me.

Hunt — Solitude and the budding inner sense of camaraderie that develops as you discover your characters.

Your least favorite aspects of writing?

Levy – When I have a deadline and I am under pressure.

Hunt — Solitude and the business side of everything.

Who are some of your favorite authors/books?

Levy – The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan, The Diary of Elizabeth Drinker: The Life Cycle of an Eighteenth-Century Woman, Edited and Abridged by Elaine Forman Crane, The Beauty Myth: How Images Of Beauty Are Used Against Women, by Naomi Wolf, Women’s Ways of Knowing: The Development of Self, Voice and Mind by Mary Field Belenky, Blythe McVicker Clinchy, Nancy Rule Goldberger and Jill Mattuck Tarule.

Hunt – The Razor’s Edge by W. Somerset Maugham, The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins, A Separate Peace by John Knowles, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, and any mystery by Agatha Christie.

What are you reading right now?

Levy – The Velvet Rage: Overcoming The Pain of Growing Up Gay In A Straight Man’s World by Alan Downs, PH.D and The Bodacious Book of Succulence: Daring to Live Your Succulent Wild Life by Sark.

Hunt – Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker and late Hollywood actor/producer Ross Hunter’s personal 1955 journal.

If you could have a dinner party and invite five authors — dead or alive — who would they be and what would you serve them?

Levy – I would invite Naomi Wolf, Anne Frank, Gloria Steinem, John Steinbeck and Bell Hooks. A selection of international delicacies would be served with various fine wines.

Hunt – For E. F. Benson, Agatha Christie, Paulo Coelho, and William Shakespeare, there would be fine wine and feast. For Henry Miller, add cigarettes and aged scotch.

What is a book that you wish you could say that you had written and why?

Levy – One Day My Soul Opened Up by Iyanla Vanzant is a book I wished I had written because I am living it. And it is blissful….

Hunt – A Separate Peace by John Knowles shook me to the core; I wish I could claim sovereign over that vast internal landscape of pure devotion and dark, private heartbreak.

What is the greatest piece of advice (for writing and/or just living) that you have heard?

Levy – “Let go, let God.”

Hunt – “Let it be.”

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