The inspiration for this brief bitter tirade was inspired by a quick glimpse at the new reality show featuring Britney Spears and Mr. Spears. I didn’t think, in all honesty, that “Reality TV” could possibly get any worse. After a few minutes of listening to/watching & gaping in slack jawed wonder that culminated in my holding back a severe bout of the dry heaves, I was proven wrong. Boy oh boy, was I ever proven WRONG. I couldn’t believe my own eyes as these morons made with dispensing words of wiz-dumb for other morons, who in all likelihood think this pair of none-too-bright lovebirds have something intelligent to say.
This was Junior High Philosophy 101. I’ve never thought Brit was bright. I know for a fact now that she is as deep as a soap dish in all matters philosophical. I don’t think that Hubby’s ever going to accused of fomenting any intellectual revolution either. He did seem to be smarter than your average paving brick but not quite as bright as a small appliance bulb. It was all I could do not to pull a pistol and do an Elvis number on the old Panasonic.
Day in, day out, video after video, song after song, insipid special after special about some star’s car, house, plastic surgery, making of their new record, trend after trend nauseating trend, we get bombarded from every angle by your local friendly neighborhood media outlet about that latest greatest thing that we just can’t live without. And if you can seemingly live without it, the self-same friendly neighborhood entertainment propaganda pusher will try to make you ponder why you would want to and if your life is really worth living without it.
The mediocre pablum that is shoved down your throats like geese being prepped for foie gras is the entertainment you want and the entertainment you get. And boy, do you get it in more ways than one (in some ways that require KY or other forms of lubrication). Just can’t get enough Britney Spears??? Well, the record companies ring a bell, and here comes the great unwashed in a Pavlovian frenzy buying up the likes of Jessica Simpson, Hillary Duff, and whoever else has-been nominated flavor of the week, just to be sure that you get the message that this week’s untalented femme singers are what’s happening Baby! – although the real message being spelled out is that you are a battalion of credit-card-waving dumb asses who have been made increasingly name conscious by incredibly wealthy & powerful MEGA $$$ promotional machines that point their greasy talons at who and what they want you to buy and laugh all the way to the bank as you do your impression of a lemming with a Mastercard.
After catching approximately .17 seconds of the new Britney Spears “reality” TV show, “Chaotic,” (now that’s a George Carlin worthy oxymoron: Reality? TV?) the importance of live and organic, do it yourself, entertainment struck me like a ton of cinder blocks. Corporations and record companies buy critics and columnists by greasing palms and stroking egos (as well likely stroking and greasing other parts of the anatomy as well). Polls are spun and industry awards are nothing more than a popularity contest rigged by block voting. Any real “Critics” have been rendered ineffectual by the never ending flow of teeny bop-oriented magazines that have as much bearing on a performer’s actual success and/or fate as magazines such as “The Watchtower” have on my chances of entering into heaven or hell.
Brainwashed, browbeaten, and bribed from every direction by hype and overkill, the masses just bend over and grease up every time the big green weenie of the consumerism machine calls, and yet, and yet, people STILL miss the point. These so-called “artistes” are nothing more than a creation of an industry and its own media machine that many of these so called “Gangsta’s” (LOL) and “Rock ‘N Roll Rebels” are supposedly bucking against. Because they’re SO unestablishment. About 99.7 % of all the “entertainment” out there is nothing more than pre-fab trash, and any relationship between artistic abilities, true talent, and commercial success is shaky at best, if not downright non-existent. Plainly put: Consumers are gettin’ f**ked, but they sure ain’t gettin’ kissed.
Is there a remedy to all of this? Can we be saved from the unforgiving & brain deadening rays emanating from our small screened savior? What is the answer? The answer is simple really: Live entertainment. Make your own music, start a band, get together with friends and jam. Write poetry, stories, blog, pick up some cheap 8mm movie camera and make cool home movies or videos. Get together with like minded artistically inclined friends and stage a happening. Get out in the world. Relate, create, & communicate. Do something, anything. Bored people are boring people. You don’t need that much talent. It’s helpful but not a necessity.
Know three chords? You can start a band. Many of my favorite songs only have one or two. “Boogie Chillun” by John Lee Hooker only has three friggin’ NOTES fer chrissakes! Live music is my favorite form of live entertainment. And one of the most easily accessible. Even the smallest town is likely to have a venue for live music. If not, create a venue.
If you don’t like what’s being played, talk to the owner/operator & ask him about your hosting an Open Mic night. There are weekend warrior musician types that can play rings around a lot of “professional” musicians, and they might just live right down the street from you. Combine your open Mic night with a screening of some amateur films, poetry reading, chainsaw juggling, or any combination of these & other ideas. Just get off your lazy, Cheeto eating, soda pop guzzling and channel surfing ass is what I’m saying. Even if you don’t play, paint, write, or by chance juggle chainsaws, then at least go out and support those people who do.
At the very least, it will get you out of your house for a while. If you should choose to participate in some form of artistic endeavor then it’s all for the better. With that said, get out and support live entertainment (turn off the TV and PC for a few hours, it won’t hurt that bad) by living, breathing (well the breathing part is pretty much a given) entertainers. Go out & enjoy music. Music made by rastas, rednecks, divas, dirtheads, jazzbos, punkers, bluesmen, juke joint heroes and everyone else. You can find it in bars, in bowling alleys, in the park, out in the streets, on the patio, in the garage or down in the alley.
Live. In person. Live. In the flesh. Live! Live!! Live!!! Loud, sweaty, and up in your face. All of its warts showing & no holds barred. Glorious in its imperfection. Attitude up the —, non-lip-synched. No fakin’, just a whole lotta shakin’. Entertainment does not need to be digitally sterilized & Dolby enhanced or re-mastered in 5.1 sound and then run through a state-of-the-art 1000 Watt surround sound system for maximum enjoyment. So, lace up your shoes and head on out. Show some backbone and go check out some artists free of the confines of the studio, feeding off of all the energy of the crowd, stretching out instrumentally, fresh, spontaneous and most importantly live and in person. Just remember: This offer is not available on TV.
In closing, I’d like to thank you all for reading this. I’d like to but….