So, since last March I’ve been South Beaching it. I read the book, and figured it wouldn’t be that difficult to do as I construct meals around vegetables anyway. I find the low-carb craze in general to be ridiculous, but I don’t feel I’m on a low-carb diet. If anything, I feel I’m on a whole foods diet. (I could be wrong about this, but I’m pretty sure that many of the body’s major functions run off of glucose or something similar. And, if I’m not mistaken the easiest way to build a six carbon sugar is to build it from simple sugars, i.e. carbohydrates. Brain functions are among said major bodily functions, and I don’t know about you, but I like my brain to function as efficiently as possible.) The South Beach diet seemed to be based on vegetables, lean meats and whole grains, which meant I had to cut all the white sugar and flour out of my diet. You know, the stuff no one should really eat anyway.
On my top ten list of favorite foods, cookies are second only to cheese. I have a shrine in my apartment in the form of a Tinker Bell shaped cookie jar to Geoff, the god of biscuits. Cookies are constructed primarily out of white sugar, white flour and other things wholly lacking in nutritional value. You can see where I may have a problem. Cookies are in my top ten, but I’ve really come to like the way I look in my pinstripe pants that are a size I’ve not worn since eighth grade. Now I have to decide, cookies or the waistline? Well, my vanity has won out because my shrine to Geoff, God of Biscuits has stood empty since they end of last March.
Well, mostly empty. There was an interesting attempt at gluten-free, carrot raisin cookies in October. They were very flavorful, if a little dry and ridiculous in their shape. But, I guess that’s what I get for making them low-fat as well as low in sugar.
The thing is, prior to the diet, we always had slice and bake cookies in the house. Whenever you wanted, you could just slice off some cookie dough, bake them up and you had half a dozen hot cookies straight out of the oven while you were watching Arrested Development or Invader Zim. (Half a dozen, now you know why I had to go on the diet.) I miss the slice and bake days. So, when I was walking down the baked goods aisle of the grocery store (which is also the hot chocolate aisle. Hey, it gets cold here.) And I saw, Betty Crocker Carb Monitor cookies in chocolate chip I thought, “Score!” They aren’t slice and bake, but stirring an egg and a quarter cup of margarine into a mix is not a major energy expenditure. I could have a cookie and not have to grate carrots. Hell, yes. Sign me up.
The box said to drop “teaspoonfuls” onto the cookie sheet. Mine were more like grapefruit spoonfuls. The box also says, “makes twenty-eight cookies.” I only got about a dozen and a half. The cookies bake up firm and chewy, but they were a little dry. However, as my first chocolate chip cookies since March, I’d have to say they were good. They are made with Splenda and there is that faint hint of, “Huh. That’s not sugar.” But its not overtly tinny or nasty like they relied too heavily on chemicals to bring these cookies together. I found them to be quite enjoyable and my roommate, who is a connoisseur of cookie dough gave a thumbs up to the batter. At 130 calories a pop, you can’t sit down and eat a whole plate, but one is better than nothing. To keep myself from doing just that I took them to a get-together at a friend’s house. No one noticed they were “low carb” until asked for people’s opinions. There were no cookies left at the end of the evening. Geoff was pleased.