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I Am My Mother’s Daughter

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Chantal Stone wrote an insightful post on society’s concept of beauty, on how we try to conform to it and let the prejudices trickle down to our children. It set me thinking about my own mother. My mother never cared for outward appearances; it was the mirror within that she wanted us to polish.

Her rules were simple: study hard and be good human beings. She never paid us compliments, never hugged us, but in her own ways showed us that she loved us with little acts of concern. Freshly squeezed juice with lots of ice used to wait for us when we returned from school all hot and sweaty; she would diligently fan us with a newspaper when there would be an electricity shortage as we studied, brewed fresh cups of coffee as we studied through the night for our exams, and stayed up at night by our bedside while we tossed and turned with high fever.

Not once did she tell us that she was proud of us, but her actions spoke out loud. She sheltered us from society’s pressures to conform to certain ideas of beauty. She took us to the trendiest stores to shop, but never told us girls how pretty we looked in our new clothes. She merely nodded and talked about the books we were currently reading, discussed politics with us, took us to the theater, and kept an eagle eye on the company we kept at school.

She hated my taste in books (romance novels) and frequently raided my stash to check what I was reading. She worried about me when I went through my wild days, but knew that I wouldn’t divert too far as she had built a strong base.

I stayed away from drugs, boys and school books. I discovered my untamed spirit, the beauty of being a loner, of being locked in my room for hours only to emerge for food and go back in again. She let me find myself, dig deep enough to hate myself for not being what she wanted me to be, and then love myself for not conforming to her image of what a daughter should be.

Today I am a mother of two, overweight, happily married and at ease with myself. There are those around me who pass thoughtless comments about my weight, thinking they are being cruel to be kind, and others just being obnoxious jerks making fat jokes.

But I like myself and why not? It’s the mirror within that I polish everyday. It’s either evolve mentally or stagnate and let Vogue or whatever is the ‘in’ magazine spoon feed me a warped reality.

In many ways I am my mother’s daughter and I am happy to be so. Beauty is, after all, a subjective concept, but intellect is a commodity eagerly sought and accepted by those who do make a difference.

My gift to my kids will hopefully be what my mother bequeathed to me: to let the beauty that lives within shine through, the rest is all cosmetic.

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About Deepti Lamba

  • http://chantalstone.blogspot.com chantal stone

    Thanks for the mention, swingingpuss…..

    You are absolutely beautiful, and extremely blessed. My goal is to give my children that very same gift.

  • deepti lamba

    Thanks chantal, we need to empower our kids with the right attitude towards life

  • http://www.markbellinghaus.com Mark Bellinghaus

    I have an absolute stupid Question, here on mothers day: Can you explain to me the deeper meaning of that name?
    I am serious, but is that supposed to be funny?
    I mean–shall I call myself “swiningschlong”?
    If that name is still available. Can I write an article and post it for fathersday called “I am my father’s son” or would that be plagirissm?
    HAPPY MOTHERS DAY ALL YOU SWINGERS!

  • http://www.markbellinghaus.com Mark Bellinghaus

    Puss as of OCTOPUSS or PUSSIE CAT? OR what else could it be?

  • http://swingingpuss.com swingingpuss

    Swiningschlong? Well, if you want to call yourself by that name who is to stop you?

    And what’s your resentment against mothers or this post or this nickname?

  • http://www.markbellinghaus.com Mark Bellinghaus

    LOL!
    And when I spoke to my mother today to wish her a happy mothers day, I would not dare to call her even lovingly a “SWINGINGPUSS”.
    That is a bit too much. Don’t you agree?

  • http://ruvysroost.blogspot.com Ruvy in Jerusalem

    Mark,

    At least you could call your mother to wish her a happy mother’s day. For me (or for my wife) such a call would be a miraculous event and would be quite a “long distance” (even though it is said that such calls are not “long distance” from Jerusalem…

    Count yourself lucky.

    I had the same question you did upon encountering this moniker, by the way. I clicked on the URL for greater understanding and got it. I suggest you do likewise.

  • http://swingingpuss.com swingingpuss

    Your mother? Now why would I or anyone want your mother to be called ‘the puss that swings’? But then again we women do have a little cat/puss in us that swings no matter what be our age.

    As such I rather you didn’t drag your mother into this conversation as she is ‘your ma’ and I dont like to talk about people I dont know or have no interaction with.

  • http://www.markbellinghaus.com Mark Bellinghaus

    Ruvy! I did actually–and we talked for quite some time–I also sent her flowers which will have to be repeated in two day, when she is celebrating her birthday. Seems like those people who celebrate their birthdays right around Christmas or Hannukkah. Tough luck and then nothing for the rest of the year?
    Not with me–I am a good son and I never would dare to call mom “swingingpuss” I do not think I would survive that one! lol

  • http://swingingpuss.com swingingpuss

    Ruvy, I hope my site lives up to the pseudonym ;)

  • http://www.markbellinghaus.com Mark Bellinghaus

    Thanks Ruvy for the enlightment–I just did and it got actually W-O-R-S-E! I clicked on the URL and found a shocking article that is titled”JESUS LOVES YOU–BUT I THINK YOU’RE A CUNT!”
    I never use the “C”word except in traffic when my top is up and they can not hear me. I call especially guys who shave their beard in the car, just that. Never a chick. That is disrespectful. Like calling a bump a loser or something. I just would never do that.
    In LA they would shoot you for that and less. lol

  • http://www.markbellinghaus.com Mark Bellinghaus

    Deepti, if that is correct–do not sweat it, as I am not even religious. I saw a show about the “anti-christ” on history channel last night and now I am looking for the person who would fit the most and best into that discription–maybe because we are so close to 6-6-06? lol

  • http://swingingpuss.com swingingpuss

    ——yawn—-Mark we arent in LA now are we?

    Never a chick? why you are so gracious( fluttering my eyes)..guess you lost the humor somewhere between Vegas and LA…or wait a minute, you never had it to begin with.

    You are welcome to your interpretation of my name just as I am welcome to interpret your supercilious, chauvinistic belching as complete balderdash:)

  • http://ruvysroost.blogspot.com Ruvy in Jerusalem

    SW,

    Fine piece of writing. Your lead says it all – you made peace with your mother before it was too late. Wise woman… May you teach them your wisdom, (and hers) and may they follow in your footsteps…

  • http://ruvysroost.blogspot.com Ruvy in Jerusalem

    SW

    I had checked out your website a long time ago – before you had decided to change the direction of your writing. It lives up to the pseudonym and more…

  • http://www.swingingpuss.com swingingpuss

    Thanks Ruvy, you are very gracious as usual :)

    I am indebted to my parents for a lot of things.

  • http://www.markbellinghaus.com Mark Bellinghaus

    You are welcome to your interpretation of my name just as I am welcome to interpret your supercilious, chauvinistic belching as complete balderdash:)

    OMG
    I am so hurt now! Are you one of those tough men–trapped in a woman’s body? Like that Jet in Columbus wonder?
    Nice to know that now TWO people hate me–or is it 20? I stopped counting.666
    You know what? Call your mom whatever you want–but if someone is making a comment about that weird name, please do not get upset. And yes, I still have humor–which you obviously do not.
    Can you just let go? A new day a new week and no more cat fights, please. Not even swingingpssuy fights. Good LUCK to you. P-E-A-C-E

  • zingzing

    whew! there’s an asshole in here, and it stinks!

  • http://swingingpuss.com swingingpuss

    Zingzing, Mark’s out of the blue, uncalled for remarks just affirmed my belief that sanity is a rare quality online;)

  • http://www.markbellinghaus.com Mark Bellinghaus

    And I thought that ATTACKS ARE NOT ALLOWED? My answer was erased, by you, swingerpussy? Strange–but his ugly comment and attack: #18 is still there?
    You really are someone’s daughter and you should be proud!
    Did your mom ever love you?
    Obviously not.

  • http://swingingpuss.com swingingpuss

    Mark, I dont have ‘godly powers’ to delete comments on this site nor am I the ‘love child’ of JFK and Marilyn Monroe that you could be so definite about the love that existed between my mom and me.

  • http://www.markbellinghaus.com Mark Bellinghaus

    YOU ARE LUCKY AND MAYBE I AM JEALOUS CAUSE MY MOM WAS TOO BUSY WITH MY OTHER 4 SIBLINGS…?!

  • http://swingingpuss.com swingingpuss

    huh?

  • http://www.futonreport.net/ Matthew T. Sussman

    Bellinghaus, do a couple things for us:

    (1) That key next to the “A”? Press it once.

    (2) Write better comments.

  • http://chantalstone.blogspot.com chantal stone

    (3) take your meds

  • http://www.markbellinghaus.com Mark Bellinghaus

    (4) whatever! and which ones are you taking?

  • http://www.markbellinghaus.com Mark Bellinghaus

    editor! stop it right here and right now–if you are going to delete AGAIN my comments–how about comment # 18? are you reality blinded or just one sided?
    Wonder what the big boss thinks about this…mmmhhhh

  • http://www.markbellinghaus.com Mark Bellinghaus

    Personal attacks are not allowed. Please read our comment policy.

  • zingzing

    mark, you do nothing but run around the site, insulting people and making up english syntax. i didn’t call you out by name or make it blatantly obvious that i was referring to you, so there you go. plus, i’d bet the editors agree with the sentiment. you keep on going the way you are, and you may just get banned. of course, so might i… but whatever. why don’t you consider actually commenting on the topic at hand, rather than making fun (never all that funny) of the author or other commenters… maybe we should all start spamming up your already bloated and ridiculous post… but what’s the point? if you took out all the “FRIENDS IN MARYLIN AND FRAUD-PREVENTION” shit, the page might actually be worth the time it takes to load.

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    Amen Zing… Amen.

    Solus mei sententia

  • http://musical-guru.blogspot.com/ Michael J. West

    Aha! Jet agrees with Zing! Just proof that they’re the SAME PERSON!

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    Oh for God’s sake not again-get a fucking life!

  • zingzing

    hey jet, he was kidding. michael j is one of the good guys. actually, i’m michael j as well. really, the two of you are just figments of my imagination! i know it! it’s obvious!

  • zingzing

    did anyone (everyone) else notice that your user name now pops up automatically in the name field when making a comment? i wonder if it will even let you post under a different name now… maybe a little testing is in order…

  • test

    tesssst. tesssst.

  • zingzing

    hmm. i guess you can still post under multiple names. i wonder if it’s something my computer is doing… i never noticed it happening before…

  • http://absent-mind.blogspot.com/ Jet in Columbus

    dear god, do I have to keep a score card?

  • http://www.markbellinghaus.com Mark Bellinghaus

    Oh–funny–so I am a “bad guy” then? Cool–at least you guys have something to talk about. Wonderful isn’t it?
    And here is the real reason for your blood thirsty behavior:

    “maybe we should all start spamming up your already bloated and ridiculous post… but what’s the point?”

    posted by “zingzing” who posts right next to siamese twin JiC.
    URL or not whatever–is there anything else you want to say? At least have the distancy and write her name correctly, alright?
    She is not from Maryland. Marilyn that is.

    JiC: do you believe that your articles are so much more “enlightening”?
    Could it be that jealousy might pinch you besides your to tight pants?
    Can we not get along? You are trying to get me banned?
    Fine with me. But what would you talk about–besides YOURSELF of course?

    And: If someone gives a crap at all: the fraudulent exhibit screwed so far way over $1.5 million out of people who go there in order to see an American legend’s personal items.
    Live and let live! That is an old historic saying, but it seems new to all of you here. Making fun and being angry and ignorant and hurtful. That might be just what you want to be.
    Really?
    You seem to love to hate. Is that what Hollywood has done to you?
    Definetely not Marilyn Monroe.
    Mad Max, maybe–or Arnold Schwarzenegger?

  • http://www.markbellinghaus.com Mark Bellinghaus

    Don’t worry–I can do the same that you did, I reported you to Eric Olsen.

  • zingzing

    haha. what are you on about? reported who for what? oh… this is great. i hope he can prove to you that jet and i aren’t the same person (neither is michael j west…)

    i don’t think that reporting us or me or jet or whatever is going to get you anywhere. we shall see. did someone report you? what for? there are so many pricks on this site, i doubt one more would really make them all that angry. it’s kicking against the pricks what makes this site worth the time.

    you’re great fun, mark. such a reactionary.

    so… the reason for our (or is it “my”) “bloodthirsty” behavior is… not spamming all over your post? i don’t understand. what? maybe you should write that again.

    glad you’re back. i was getting bored.

  • Wow

    those were the good old days of blog fights…

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