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How Would You Solve the Problem of Illegal Immigration?

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(A modified version of this post first appeared at my site, ingrown brain stem.)

First there was “What Sucks, copygodd?”. Then there was the sporadic appearance of “Who Is Smarter Than Whom?. Now, I’m proud to introduce the next big gimmick here at the stem: “What Would copygodd Do?”. Here’s how it works: You ask me a question and I tell you what I’d do.

Of course, since it’s a brand new bit, nobody’s had a chance to ask a question yet. So I’ll start off with one from my good friend scoop newsworthy over at Tinfoil Hat Pundit.

Q: Even before September 11, illegal immigration was a serious problem. But now our porous border is no longer just a source of cheap labor; it’s also a matter of national security. Since the federal government refuses to fulfill its constitutional duty, citizens’ groups such as the Minuteman Project are taking matters into their own hands. Given the chance to fix the problem of illegal immigration, what would copygodd do?

A: Good question, scoop (if that is your real name). As I see it, the two biggest obstacles to fixing the immigration crisis are documentation and deterrence. The illegals aren’t documented, which makes them hard to find and deport. And there’s no real deterrent to keep them from returning when we do deport them. To fix the documentation problem, the President has offered up his “It’s Not Amnesty Because I Say It’s Not Amnesty” Amnesty program, wherein he’d grant amnesty to all illegals who are here to do the jobs that “Americans won’t do”, ie pick lettuce, pick fruit, etc… To fix the deterrence problem, he’s offered up nothing.

Here’s what copygodd would do…

First off, I’d go ahead with the initial stages of Dubya’s “INABISINA” Amnesty program, and tell all illegals to come in on a certain day and we’ll give them documentation. Then, when they show up, I’d cut off the index finger of their right hand and deport them. Not only will this serve as a pretty strong deterrent against their returning, it will also make it easy to spot them if they do decide to break the law and sneak back in to the country. Plus, the legal aliens (with whom I have no problem) will always make sure they have their identification, for fear of having a finger chopped off and being deported.

Of course, under our current system, a high percentage of illegal aliens are repeat offenders: we catch them, ship them home, and the following week we catch them again. President Bush’s plan does nothing to address this problem. However, under my plan, every time we catch them, we simply chop off another finger. After their eighth capture, we kill them. Because everyone knows you can’t pick anything if you don’t have any fingers.

And that’s what copygodd would do.

How ’bout yourself?

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About copygodd


    Outside of a few minor points, I think you are onto something.

  • “it’s also a matter of national security.””I’d cut off the index finger of their right hand and deport them.”

    Not bad, and any time a President starts a war which INCREASES our odds of being attacked by terrorists, I think we should chop off his whole hand, after all, if he does it a couple of times, he won’t be able to sign any more executive orders will he?


    I am sure that the original tone of this coulumn was satirical, but since you reexamined the national security issue, BTP, do you think that there is not a problem with hostile agents crossing our borders, and are you not aware that there have been documented cases of this occuring since before this administration? I might add apparently fewer successful ones since Pres Bush took office, too.

  • IIPR’s 12 Step Program For Ending Illegal Immigration

    1. Increase funding for INS and Border Patrol.Read For Funding Ideas
    2. Use military advice, and technology to AGGRESIVELY police borders.
    3. Strengthen laws making it a felony to aid or abet illegal immigration or to hire illegal immigrants.
    4. End all Federal, state, local benefits to illegal aliens, and make it impossible to get documentation here.
    5. Require a certified photo id to vote, or get any kind of local, state, or federal benefit.
    6. End the disgraceful practice of offering cheaper tuition for illegal immigrants than in-state taxpayers are charged.
    7. Encourage and empower all levels of law enforcement to look for and apprehend illegal aliens.
    8. Send Mexico a strong message – “Seal your borders or We Will!”
    9. Cancel NAFTA
    10. Withdraw from WTO
    11. Cancel Free Trade of Americas Agreement (FTAA) plans
    12. Announce a 90 Day Grace Period For Illegal Immigrants to Report To INS Facilities for deportation.

      Upon reporting, they would be photographed, fingerprinted, and generally hassled considerably less than your average air passenger or gun buyer. They would be told to return home and file a formal request for legal immigration. The earlier they show up the more favorably they would be considered for a green card. Make the selection process on the basis of what kind of skills or background they “bring to the table”.

      For those who choose not to report to the INS, and are later apprehended, they will be deported and put on a Persona Non Grata list never to be allowed entry into the US again – for any reason.

  • Eric Olsen

    hmm, draconian, rather bad for international PR. Might be a few civil liberty issues involved as well: the courts have found even illegal aliens have some rights. Sean, why do you withdraw from NAFTA and WTO? Is the illegal immigrant problem worth sabotaging our economy?

  • as always, my tone was indeed satirical. but only to make a point about how complicated, and undecided, i am about this issue.

    i know something has to be done, and i know the “inabisina” amnesty program put forth by the president is a bad idea, but after that i’m lost.

    i was just hoping this would spark some good discussion about realistic ways to deal with this problem.

    maybe citizens’ groups such as the minuteman project are the way to go, since to this point, the government appears to be unable, or unwilling, to address the issue.

  • Eric Olsen

    they have succeeded in focusing attention on the problem

  • The sabotage precedes me.

    “Despite the smaller monthly trade gap, the annual deficit remained on track to surpass last year’s record of $496.5 billion. ” That’s our money pouring out of this country. That’s what Ross Perot called “That giant sucking sound”.
    A Reuters story from 7/2004

    I’d recommend you visit the Economic Policy Institute to see the extent of the damage in terms of trade deficits that NAFTA has enabled. Here’s a quote:

    U.S. NAFTA trade deficit surging again

    Since the U.S. entered into the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) with Mexico and Canada, the trade deficit with these countries has grown rapidly (see chart below). U.S. firms moved plants to Mexico and Canada to take advantage of lower wages and new rules providing unheard of levels of protection for foreign investors. The combined U.S. trade balance with the other two NAFTA countries (the difference between U.S. exports and imports) was a small, stable deficit prior to NAFTA. Since NAFTA that combined deficit has grown rapidly. U.S. imports have been growing more rapidly than exports, so the trade deficit has expanded. When the growth of this deficit eased in 2002, some claimed that U.S. trade with China and other lower-wage countries was displacing NAFTA trade. Contrary to this view, the U.S. NAFTA deficit has increased 12.2% so far this year, evidence that deficits with Mexico and Canada are a continuing drag on U.S. growth and job creation.

    My main contention at IIPR.COM is that you can’t fully understand the illegal immigration issue without understanding our current (detrimental in my view) trade policies.

    The ultimate goal of the Free Traders is the elimination of all borders and an end to sovereignty for the sake of improving trade benefits.

    When goods and services flow freely across countries without restriction, labor costs, will find an equilibrium, lower for AMerican workers and higher for workers from Latin America. That means you may lose your high-tech job to India, or your low tech job to illegal aliens, and your children will face murderous competition for mind-numbing low-tech jobs because our elected representatives have made it profitable to to move jobs offshore.

    I believe in the end, non-reciprocal free trade will have distributed our wealth elsewhere and we will become an unrecognizable, dusty, aging, overpopulated welfare state which produces little and consumes much. I see a society of the beneficiaries of free trade – stockholders, and the “worker bees” as they say.

    I have nothing against Latin Americans, but I have real problems trading the financial future of America for short term economic gains by P&G, HP, GE, IBM and a host of other companies who no longer consider themselves to be American companies, but world companies.

  • Richard Porter

    The first step to even begin solving this problem is to protect our borders more efficiently than what has been done in the past. The Mexican border alone is a gateway for not inly illegal immigrants but also for terrorists as well. I believe I read that the U.S. is now using unmanned drones to patrol the borders. The President has to take advantage of the National Guard and begin using them more effectively.


    I’d like to point out that more explosives and terrorists have been picked up at the Canadian border than the Mexican one. Both need a greater focus. Canada has lax immigration laws, and we tend not to look in that direction when assessing threats.

  • Richard Porter

    Absolutely on the mark SFK SKI! Look I have been a big supporter of the President on most issues except this one. He has not done enough to protect our own borders.

  • Eric Olsen


  • Just a thought, but if you just shoot them, they won’t be a problem anymore. We could take the money we’re saving and buy more body armor to help our boys & girls liberate Iraq — just as soon as they beat back the bad guys who are now attacking en masse.

  • Sfc Ski

    Wrong Mark, we ship the illegals to IRaq and offer them US citizenship if they win.

  • I stand spectacularly corrected. Sfc Ski, I bow, scrape, & abase myself.

    Rats…why didn’t I think of that?

  • Eric Olsen

    but what about the arming/disarming issue?

  • Richard Porter

    How about a free gun license with every citizenship?

    Okay that was a bad joke…try the veal!

  • canada? how could i forget the great white north?

    aren’t they french? or at least frenchish…?

  • SKI, YOU ROCK!! ship the illegals to IRaq and offer them US citizenship if they win

    In one fell swoop, you have solved the illegal problem, and brought more of “our” boys home! Plus, there will be no need to have a draft. Really, genius!

  • Sfc Ski

    Well, If the plan works, I will be available for the 2008 elections.

  • dang. that’s way better than my plan.

  • Shark

    The immigration problem will solve itself. We’ll soon have no jobs available in the ol’ U.S.A.

    Then we give every Mexican a rubber raft and a map to China.


  • gonzo marx

    hurm..i dunno..

    as pleasing as the finger bit could be..it seems just a wee bit…harsh

    howabout we take a page from the wildlife folks…and collar/tag them when we catch ’em…mebbe even shock collars like they use to train dogs for “invisible fences”

    on a more serious note..one of my problems with the southern border security issue..

    when they catch them, they hold and deport the mexicans back over the border…ALL THE REST of the Nationalities are turned loose on their own recognizance and told to report to the INS within two weeks..

    anyone else see the problem here?


  • I think you’re on to something there, Gonzo. While playing disc golf I discussed this issue with an arch-leftist friend, and he came up with the idea of implanting all the ones we catch with micro chips like they do with dogs at the pound, so we can just track them down the next time they come across the border. Or even better, tell the Mexican government no more economic aid unless they implant all their citizens with tracking chips.


  • gonzo marx

    Dave sez…
    *I think you’re on to something there, Gonzo.*


    2 in one night..!!!

    i think i’m gonna faint…

    there may be Hope fer ya yet Dave…i’ll just have ta keep spewing my madness across the aether…

    we might make a mammal out of ya yet!

    or at least something warm blooded with multiple chambers in yer Heart…

    to quote Triumph the insult comic..”i joke..i keeed…Dave is a good Republican…

    for me to poop on!”


  • Gonzo, read more closely. This was a suggestion of my arch-leftist friend, not mine.

    I believe that Mexicans should have rights just like Americans. I’d like to let as many in as want to come, register them as guest workers and tax the hell out of them for the services they use up.


  • gonzo marx

    i know it wasn’t yer suggestion Dave…was my own lil bit of sarcasm after swooning that you had agreed with me twice in one night, no matter what we had agreed about

    but we disagree on this Issue when it comes to illegal immigration..

    deport them for commiting the Crime against standing Law…

    fine ANYONE that hires them heavily..and i mean criminal prosecution kind of heavy

    this is more than just an immigration/cheap labor issue…it is about the Law…and about National Security

    all the taxpayer money spent in the name of Homeland Security and we can’t fucking secure the border of the Homeland?

    as i’ve said before, it proves beyond a reasonable doubt that the current Administration is either dishonest…ie: spending where they said they would…or grossly incompetent

    normally there would be some kind of investigation , using the toold of checks and balances built into the Constitution..

    but, oh…wait…we are under a totalitarian One Party Rule right now..and folks feel like they can do anything they please…

    call it Homeland Security…but spend it on anything but…

    call it the Patriot Act, to be used on terrorists only..we promise…but use it to bust that boy scout guy for the “thought crime” of having bad smut on his computer…tho he has never contacted, or molested anyone…( and yes, the INvestigation and prosecution was run under provisions of the Patriot Act…look it up..shocked the hell out of me when the Prosecutor admitted it in the news)

    and so on and so on..ad nauseum…

    you want to let immigrants in..ok..LEGALLY!!…fill out the papers, wait yer fucking turn..LEARN ENGLISH an damerican history, just like EVERY other LEGAL immigrant has to do..

    NO special fucking treatment just so folks can get slave labor to fill their coffers..

    clear enough?


  • >>but we disagree on this Issue when it comes to illegal immigration..

    deport them for commiting the Crime against standing Law…

    fine ANYONE that hires them heavily..and i mean criminal prosecution kind of heavy< < We don't disagree about this. I'd say flush them all out of the country and then let them come back in on special work permits. To make them legal is to make them at least somewhat trackable and certainly taxable. What bothers me is all the money they suck out of the economy and send to Mexico. They're its second largest source of revenue after oil. >>you want to let immigrants in..ok..LEGALLY!!…fill out the papers, wait yer fucking turn..LEARN ENGLISH an damerican history, just like EVERY other LEGAL immigrant has to do…<< Now you sound like the most right wing of conservative politicians. Dave

  • Joey D

    A few thoughts….

    “I believe that Mexicans should have rights just like Americans. I’d like to let as many in as want to come, register them as guest workers and tax the hell out of them for the services they use up.” Dave Nalle

    That’s why we’re talkin’ bout Illegal’s… How many people here, have problems with legal aliens?

    Legals aren’t the problem, in fact we could probably get enough legals to do our laundry, clean tables and restarants, vacuum hotel carpets, pretend to change sheets all of that stuff, or whatever it is we spoiled people need them to do. We’re not going to lower ourselves to meanial labor. Right?

    Do we need technical legal’s? Or do we outsource those.

    “Cheese Mahnhat-tone bonk… may I heppy you”

    “I am so sorry, that is not oour policy” (spoken with Hindi accent)

    I would rather outsource than insource to the prison system. And I’m getting leery of using my credit card for anything over the phone.

    Business’s who migrate off shore need a lesson. They’re getting one in China, as clones, trademark and copywrite infringement sucks lots of profit out of the coffers. Right now it’s viewed as the cost of doing business. India (the largest democracy in the world), currently has a middle class with disposable income that is 300 Million strong. And they’re honest. The language of business is the Queens English.

    That said… we’re talking the U.S. and not outsourcing or not migrating, right?

    For years we’ve had a border problem, and NOTHING has been done. 200,000+ arrests (or whatever they call it) last year. Tip of the iceberg.

    Shall I resurrect the DRAFT issue. Let’s start a draft for the HOMELAND SECURITY FORCE, put them in all the ports, on all the borders… stop drugs (ohmygod not drugs), remember drugs are not that good for you anyway, and you’ll be alright. Let’s see, stop illegal immigration, stop copywrite infringment (clones etc…) North and South… maybe stop terrorism (I think it’s already entrenched).

    But do not deny. Teach them to fish (parable) in other words, help countries grow and prosper. If there is no prosperity, there may not be an illegal immigration problem.

    Join the Peach Corp, go dig a well in a village, or help get some crops in the ground.

    Are imported goods up to American standards, say ISO 9000 (it might be 10000 now). Processed food production, is not up to standard, but is allowed in, I’m sure there are other items which we here in ‘merica have higher standards (thank you FDA and EPA).

    Stop child labor practices, prison labor practices etc… and what do you have…. HIGHER PRICES. But, it’s not about money is it. It’s about safety and retaining jobs here, and spreading the gospel of republic democracy, of freedom of choice.

    Not cheap labor, goods and services.

    In my opinion…. if the reasoning behind keeping the status quo, is about money or profit and not about community both here and abroad, it will fail. We will become overwhelmed, our systems (health care, housing etc…) will diminish in what WE expect, and will probably not meet the requirments of a burdgeoning, ageing society.

    Extreme factions have been advocating border controls for decades. Which has tainted the debate, due to the history of some of those groups. Hence the ugliness involving the Arizona border spotters (keyword spotters, not hunters). The media and other groups (read left hand in Latin), have taken the history of extremist advocates and applied it to any group seeking to improve the quality of life, not only for the illegal’s making the journey, but for themselves.

    I have two friends who live very close to the border in New Mexico and Arizona, these people are very normal, very sane and possess a lot of love. They have told me of circumstances which are deplorable, communities are being “punished” for daring to exist anywhere near these entry points. It’s a floodtide of humanity, struggling mightily to gain some sembalence of hope and new beginnings. It’s sad, that this (the U.S.) may not be the place to do it.

    Picture the SS Titanic is sinking and thousands of people are clamoring for the life boats, to save a few the boats have to back away from the scene, so they too will not be overwhelmed, capsized and drowned.

    Can we, or those countries capable of solving the problems of the world, actually make a difference? It’s daunting to even envision it. Should we even care? What’s the right thing to do?

    Are businesses on track, bringing productions and wages to countries which had nothing like that before? We view it a loss of jobs. The stats may not prove it so. I believe a comparison to outsourced jobs verses newly created jobs here, runs about equal(since ’81). Sure Uncle Joe lost the factory job, but with start ups, retraining etc… comes out about equal…stats show. Whether or not you believe statistics is a perception problem, conspiracy theory or whatever…(lies, lies and more lies — Disraeli). The Bureau of Stats, or labor or someplace like that actually has to statistical analysis online. I’ve seen them, and was surprised, my perceptions (gut feeling) were/was much different prior to seeing the data.

    Anyway… I’ve rambled enough

  • thanks for all the feedback, everyone. these are all very interesting comments.

    let’s see if this throws a monkey wrench into anything…

    according to a usa today article…“U.S. citizens will be required to show a passport to re-enter the United States from Canada, Mexico, Panama, Bermuda and the Caribbean by 2008, the departments of State and Homeland Security announced Tuesday.”

    here’s a link to the entire article.

    Passport needed for U.S. borders.

  • Oh, wow – Born in L.A. time…

    And I’m nowhere near as funny as Cheech!

  • The Duke

    Passports to re-enter the U.S….

    See America first!

    I’ve been all over the flippin’ globe… I still like America better’n any country I ever visited.

    But the gas prices have GOT to come down! Criminy! With a capital CRIME!

  • Ted Rice

    Seeing that almost 10% of the population of Mexico now lives in the US, mostly illegally, and that many of the rest seem determined to join them, it is obviously our “Manifest Destiny” to extend our borders southward and give them all their wish. This would solve the whole problem of illegal Mexican immigration, since they would all become US citizens with all the rights, privileges, and responsibilities involved. Mexico would no longer exist as a country, but as a US administered territory of the US until it achieved Statehood. (Which would allow time to deal with the corruption there).

    There might then be a problem of illegal immigration from countries further south, but simply reminding them that it might become our new “Manifest Destiny” to expand even further south would probably motivate them to control their own borders.

    (for those who took this seriously, it was meant to be humour).

  • bobolama

    it is a simple thing to solve the problem of mexico,and mexicans. it is the way we have solved this problem in the past,and it will solve it simply now.

    make mexico,part of the the united states,add them as a state. this way they can live and work where they wish,but they have to pay state and federal taxes like everyone else. they will be no more making money here and running back to mexico to spend it there for more to come here.
    they will have the same benefits,as all citzens,and all of the the problems. they will have to pay the same as all of US citzens do. solve the problem now!! offer mexico state-hood,if they do not want it,block all borders for good.
    if they want to work here they have to stay here,or in mexico,as a state of the united states of america. and sing the national anthem in english!!

  • American

    The American National Anthem

    Oh Jose cant you see, we’re tired of supporting thee.

    When you snuck acrossed the border, it began an illegal plight.

    Over broad stripes and bright stars, We’ll continue to Fight.

    Mexican Flags we did watch, that were so sadly streaming.

    Our tempers did flare, with Mexican’s everywhere.

    Gave proof to the nite, we must send them back there.

    O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave.

    For the land of the U. S. Citizen and the home of the American’s.

    written and produced by U.S. Citizens
    Made In America

  • Heloise

    That’s funny. But I think someone might have a point. I mean we own Puerto Rico don’t we? Why not own Mexico. They have some nice beaches and I hear that the Californians are buying up land near the Mexican Rivera and building homes there.

    That’s a great idea. We will own Mexico and build retirement villas there and fix the corrupt Mexican drug mafia/cartel. We could have done it with the f++)_) money spent in Iraq already….


  • Voting should be weighted to prevent immigrant hordes not loyal to America’s founding principles, from being able to use sheer numbers to destroy our values, culture, and civilization. Pay attention Europe as well.

    A natural born citizen automatically receives 100 votes. A naturalized citizen starts out with 10 votes and receives one additional vote for each succeeding year.

    Eliminate anchor babies. No nation in Europe still grants automatic citizenship by birth to children neither of whose parents are citizens, and it is high time that America stop this ridiculous practice as well.

  • Monday May 1, 2006 has been declared “Nothing Gringo” Day by the No Borders advocates, and foolish California Senators have endorsed this seditious campaign of the Reconquista forces. I wonder how these hypocritical ignoramus Legislators would react if Secure Borders advocates, using equaivalent language, were to delcare a “Nothing Spic” Day.

    Can’t you just hear the hue and cry that would go up about such despicable xenophobic racism!! But no. It’s perfectly fine, even admirable, for Americans to be blatantly and openly labelled “Gringos” by these brazen invading illegal-alien hordes.

    Well, I will not descend to their racial slur level. Instead I hereby declare Cinco de Mayo, 2006 to be Nothing Mexican Day. Join me in not patronizing any Taco Bell, Albertos, Del Taco, El Pollo Loco, or any other Mexican commercial establishments.

  • Since the Mexicans want to come here and we already have appr. 11,000,000 of them. I don’t see a way to solve the problem of keeping them in Mexico other than making Mexico a province of the U.S.

    They have oil there and I have an idea they would rather live in their homeland and make a living in a culture they are familiar with.

    When we lived in El Paso, my husband was in the Military. Several people in his Co. (with their wives) decided to go to Juarez. The guys decided that they would rather go to a bar than shop with their wives. They would meet later on a special corner at a certain time.

    The guys arrived at the corner but found no wives. After several hours they went to the police station. Yes the police said the wives were in their jail.

    The police gave the guys a choice–pay $300.00 or they could buy a prostitues licence for $5.00. Guess what the guys did?

    A.J. Evans

  • A Good american

    Maybe if many of you guys finish your school and going to the college and after a while become in well educated americans with something in your minds, maybe that day you could be ables to think and say something with more common sense and fix the illegal immigration problem in a smart way. One more thing, read your history books, because United States is a nation of immigrants since the 13 colonies until now this country is rich and powerful thankful to the immigrants.


    I Agree… Ship the Illegals to Iraq…If they survive the push out of a Transport Plane..
    Get Iraq In Check Then they can come back to America And Be Legal***** Providing they Pass The Citizenship Test……Whow Hee…That Will Do It!!!

    No One Comes Into This Country Illegally ..Or They Get Shot…Uh Wouldn’t that happen to Us Americans if we did that to Mexico….

    Learn To Obey Our Laws.. Dusty Butts..Talk English….We No Speka Da Espanol Here Or Cater To Banshees

  • I say bring back the Nazi Germany tactics and have a “new holocost”.

  • A.S.N

    By A. S. N

    There is no more controversial topic in U.S that the status of Illegal immigrants. Since Regan’s amnesty over 20 years ago the number has doubled if not tripled. Hence, amnesty is not a solution rather an encouragement for more illegal immigrants to cross US borders. Nevertheless, ignoring the problem is not an answer, rather a bigger issue for the next generation. Building a wall would not solve the problem either, as it would resemble the Berlin wall and we all know the outcome. At this point we have to understand the difficulty of addressing this matter and blaming wouldn’t solve anything.

    There are three major points of view to take into the consideration or to make it clearer there are three major groups that this issue concerns.

    1. Government. (The administration, Senate, Congress)
    2. Pro legalization of illegal immigrants (their relatives and most Hispanics)
    3. Against legalization of illegal immigrants (American citizens concerned with border and Job security)

    *Government could be considered as the negotiator.

    Number one the Government.

    In order for a particular administration to take a decision, a vote analysis takes place; how much this decision would alter the polls?
    They have to deal with both groups, the pros and the against of the legalization. If they satisfy one group they automatically loose the other part and probably the elections.

    Is there a way that a particular decision would solve the problem and satisfy both groups? Before I present the solution let’s see what both groups have to say about the issue.

    Number two the Pros.

    If all illegal immigrants had a better choice they would take it. Bare in mind that Illegal status is something that no one wishes to have. It demoralizes you over time, physically, morally and spiritually.

    Living in fear for years could develop heart attacks. Morally it could push you to join gangs for protection, fake identification, stealing e.t.c. Spiritually, over time one looses faith in GOD.

    The road toward illegal immigration starts back at their home country where criminals and opportunists take advantage of their vulnerability. Statistics show that thousands die to reach the American soil. And those who make it have to undergo the hardship of an underpaid job.

    There had never been in human history more elongated illegal immigration that the current one in US soil. There are illegal immigrants in US that have waited for over 20 years for papers. Some of them haven’t seen their relatives back in native country for years. Imagine that a relative is dying and not to be able to go to his or her funeral?!

    One has to understand that they’re here to stay and there is no way that the immigration can deport them all. It can lead, for certain, to a civil war.

    Number three the against.

    Having said the above, there are many negative sides to Illegal immigration. Lack of security and stability in US soil for starters. Today American lives are at stake, more than ever. We understand that the majority of the illegal immigrants are honest people who come to America for a better life for them and their children. If they could get that back in their country they would never take this difficult journey, you got my word for it.

    Nevertheless, there is a small percentage that takes advantage of this opportunity; drug smugglers and especially terrorists. It doesn’t take a lot for 9/11 to happen again. To be honest, I am surprised it hasn’t happened. An “Illegal” terrorist crosses the borders and blows up a major mall. Thousands of innocent American people would die. Of course the government would retaliate but would that be the real solution? Can those parents get back their children? Can the 9/11 relatives get back their husbands and brothers?

    Fighting terrorism is like fighting a bad flu. If you get the flu-shot you pay 20-50 dollars. A good investment, I think. But if you take the chance and try to ride it out you may get hit and if you don’t take into the consideration all the suffering (for weeks) at least regard all the wages lost at work, at least couple of hundreds.

    Is not just the security issue but also the economical impact of the illegal immigrants. The pros would argue that Illegal immigrants do take jobs that American’s don’t want, thus helping the American economy. That’s not entirely true.

    Let me illustrate a very good example; Restaurants are majorly employed by illegal immigrants. So the best example is to take the New York restaurants, especially Greek Diners.

    There are at least 200-500 (unconfirmed) dinners just in Manhattan and almost all of them have employed Illegal immigrants working as dishwashers up to management (believe it or not!) Back in a day (50’s-80’s) Greeks were working mostly as dishwashers. Bare in mind that most of them came legally to this country or at least became legal in a short period of time. With time they became cooks and chefs getting paid up to $1,000 a week plus benefits.

    As the new wave of immigrants (this time mostly Illegal’s) during 90’s till present entered US, the dishwashing and cooking jobs were overtaken as Greeks became the owners of these diners. Of course the pay dropped dramatically to around $400-$600 weekly as the competition was also fierce between the illegal themselves. Is not just the pay that dropped but the working conditions as well. Most of the employers, taking advantage of the situation, increased the amount of work and hours while equivalently the wages dropped and benefits don’t even exist. Not to mention lack of respect for human beings.

    As you can see it’s the illegal immigrants (unwillingly, god forbid) that have transformed the job environment to the current situation. Would an American take that job? Of course not, because the illegal immigrant destroyed what the Americans (through their unions and legislations) build for decades. Would the American take the job if the conditions were as before the Illegal immigrants arrived? H**** yeah (pardon my French).

    As I previously mentioned the benefits don’t exist which consequently transfers the unpaid medical bill to tax payers. How can that happen? Well, an illegal immigrant needs medical coverage, don’t they? As the law requires, every hospital has to, regardless of their medical or immigration status, provide medical assistance. As most of Illegal immigrants provide fake identification the bill is passed to the government officials and in turn to tax payer’s pocket. I think I don’t have to provide either facts or statistics here. One can see for themselves once enter the emergency rooms everywhere in America.

    As you can see the illegal immigration is an urgent issue. I didn’t even discuss the tax money lost due the fact that most illegal immigrants don’t even file them.

    It is now time for a solution, actually THE ONLY solution to the problem of Illegal immigration in US. A solution that all parts and groups would benefit. A solution that would help America, first of all, to obtain its security and also economical stability so badly needed these days.

    One group wants Illegal immigrants to leave and enter this country legally, period. The other group wants legalization, no mater how it is achieved but just legalization, also period. The government wants to satisfy both groups but also wants to make sure that illegal immigration becomes a thing of the past. Let’s be realistic, any form of legalization for Illegal immigrants is a form of Amnesty.

    Here I propose the following solution which would satisfy everyone and the most importantly would help US benefit tremendous economical growth and safety.


    There is going to be three steps to this solution.

    1) Registering the Illegal Immigrants
    a) Two weeks of registering (Personal information + photo and fingerprints)
    2) Leaving the country on their will. (With the guarantee of returning.)
    3) Returning with working visa. (Three years probations.)

    STEP 1
    The immigration MUST stop chasing and deporting illegal immigrants for two weeks. The first step would require the help of the US army. We have to understand that once the word is out there that the US is going to legalize the illegal immigrants a huge wave of new illegal immigrants will hit America.

    The solution; close the borders for two weeks. No entering of new immigrants from Mexico, not even with visa for two weeks. The borders would be declared state of emergency and a huge number of solders would patrol the entire borderline, only for two weeks as it would be very expensive.

    U.S is going to work closely with the Canadian officials into identifying anyone who enters the borders within this time and tries to register. Most illegal immigrants in Canada have fingerprint data available.

    Of course the tourists from other country as well as controlled import-export would be allowed. Nonetheless every foreign person entering the U.S (within this period) would be fingerprinted at the entrance (just the thumb CA-DMV style) and be warned that if they apply for the illegal immigrant ID they could get persecuted.

    Within this time (two weeks) every illegal immigrant would, on their own will, register him/herself with a newly formed department of immigration assigned only for one purpose; register every illegal immigrant that shows up without asking for any identification whatsoever. Just fingerprint them, photograph them and take the names that they provide as granted. Be ware that there is no danger here. Before every illegal immigrant fills up a form he would be warned not to lie for their names because within a year he would be required to prove his identity otherwise he/she would loose the path to his/her legalization.

    So there is no time consuming as no proof of identity would be required at this point. Fingerprints, Photographs and personal info including a valid US address for communication. That’s it, end of story. Five minutes max.

    The fee (the only fee for this step) for the ID; $100-$500 (no more than that)

    Every illegal immigrant would be provided with an ID with his address. The ID would be available at the spot and it would be valid for work ONLY (for one year). No bank or driving privileges what so ever as the identity of that person is not yet verified. A particular number would be assigned ONLY for TAX purposes (instead of S.S)

    I am sure that within two weeks every illegal immigrants would be able to register and the immigration would have now a better knowledge of how many illegal immigrants are there in US soil and where are they located. It can also capture criminals as well.

    STEP 2
    Once the first step is completed (within two weeks) the border patrolling is returned to normal. Every illegal immigrant is required within two months to find work and start paying taxes immediately. Otherwise it would result in him/her loosing the privilege for the legalization.

    A free toll number would be provided where everyone could call and report employers that don’t want to pay taxes for their employs. The calls would be anonymous and different languages would also be available. The employers that brake the law would severely punished by high fines and more than once offenders could even loose their license of operation.

    STEP 3
    As the second step is completed and 99% of the illegals are now processed and paying their taxes the third and final step would be concluded.

    At this point the immigration would and should provide guarantee of returning to every illegal immigrant. Within a year every illegal immigrant can leave USA, go back to their country and apply at the US embassy for the working visa. Nevertheless, I repeat, only and every illegal immigrant that has been registered within the mentioned two weeks could get the working visa. At this point, before they leave, everyone would be given the last chance to go and give the right information in case they lied the first time. No questions asked, no penalties.

    Of course there is going to be some hesitation at first but once few curious illegal immigrants take chances everyone will follow. At this point the Immigration will require that all leaving illegal immigrants should use only a major American Airline where they are going to be checked and make sure they got a stamped form. This is going to be proof that the person has left the country and the immigration would know who has left or remained in the country. Without a stamped form none can get their visa back home! Imagine 20 million people using the airline industry to travel back home, the economical impact for the American transportation.

    As soon as they arrive in their country a guaranteed visa waits for them at the American Embassy or Consulate. However, first they have to obtain a new, valid and highly secured passport, their country ID and verify their identification with their country foreign ministry. No exceptions! A fee would be charged again at the Embassy to cover the cost.

    Once the verification process has ended each and everyone can get the visa and travel now as working immigrants to U.S. The visa would be available for one year and now the immigrants could have the privilege of opening bank accounts and getting their driver’s license. At the end of the year from the moment that all illegal immigrants obtained the ID in U.S (before they left) should have gone back home. All ID’s are going to be invalid and everyone that remained in America could be prosecuted as Illegal immigrant. Nevertheless, their number would be less then 1%. The law would be enforced to the extent that none could hire Illegal immigrants and thus there is no reason for new illegal immigrants to come to this country. At this point no organization can defend the new illegal immigrants as they would have previously signed and agreed with the immigration for the rules that should be followed.

    At the end of each year, for three years every immigrant would get a new visa (without traveling) given that they have paid taxes and have a clean criminal record (No major violations). At the end of each year a thousand dollars would be charged for each one over 21 up to 65 years old. For those under 18 and over 65 a reduced fare would be charged. Nevertheless, those over 65 would be required that someone could provide for them (medically and financially) otherwise they will loose the privilege of the next year visa and could be shipped back home.

    These rules would apply up to the first three years (probation years). At the end of this period everyone would have the last interview where they should provide their tax forms and criminal history for the last three years. Once admitted they can get their green card for two years. At the end of two or three years they can apply for the citizenship. END OF STORY!

    There are an estimated 20 million illegal immigrants in US at the moment. If you multiply that by $100 (the fee for the first ID) the US can get 2 billion dollars at first. If you multiply 20 million with 3 thousands dollars ($1,000-the fee for each year) the sum could be 60 billion. If you multiply 20 million with another (average) $200 (the fee back home at the embassy) you get 4 billion dollars.

    2 + 60 + 4= 66 billion dollars just from the fee’s. The American airline industry could get like 2*10=20 billions. Also the taxes paid every year could surpass 20 billions and not to mention here the amount of money send back home (there is no reason for them to keep the money here as long as they’re illegal) by illegal immigrants which could easily surpass 200 billions. And no one should disagree for the fees; they broke the law so they should pay for it.

    The administration that could do this would, for sure, get another term in polls and also the votes of at least 20 million new immigrants for many years to come.

    There is also one more issue; if the borders are going to remain the same as currently, aren’t there gone be few illegal who are going to take the risk of trying to cross the borders even if the law is going to get reinforced?
    The solution; they have to travel to their destination. There are four ways that they can do that.
    1) Air
    2) Bus
    3) Train
    4) Car
    If the administration decides to deploy a new technology where every ID can electronically (be scanned) show the status of the person than there is no way that they can use Airplane, bus or Train as the law would require a valid ID for every ticket. Every ticket booth would have a scanning machine where the ID would be scanned and the ticket could be purchased (the id could automatically inform the immigration). This technology could be deployed every where so it can make this country more safe and it could catch almost every criminal in this country. It can also make the credit card fraud disappear. However this program can only be tested near the border states as not all Americans could be happy as it is consider an invasion of privacy.
    The only way they are left to travel is by car. Nevertheless, if the law prosecutes anyone that gives an illegal immigrant a lift that would stop too.

    Finally, everyone would be happy and the most important, America would be safer than ever. And that my friends it amounts to…priceless!