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How To Waste $10 On The Lions

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One of my new rituals during my annual trek to BlogWorld Expo in Las Vegas—other than to actually talk to other human beings for once—is to piss away some kind of disposable income at the sportsbook. A year ago it was a bet on Kyle Busch to win a NASCAR race; as the odds-on-favorite, he finished 43rd, dead last. My father couldn't have been prouder of me to jinx his least favorite driver. Funny how he didn't send some money my way to do it again.

This year, though, it had to be a little more creative. It had to be something occurring on a Saturday, leaving me with baseball, college football, or Premier League soccer. Yuck, yuck, and yeah right. So I went with Door #4 by betting on the Super Bowl.

The thing with future bets is that, while they can mail someone their winnings after the fact, it's much more fun to receive the payment in person. So it had to be worth my while to return to Vegas to collect the golden prize. And there it was, flashing before my very eyes on the digital screen:

WIN 2010 SUPER BOWL
3082: LIONS 2000-1

Doing the math, a correct $10 wager yields $20,000. As my Treehouse Fort aider and abettor Tuffy noted, the $10 would have been more useful had I burned the bill for heat.

Perhaps. Then a 1-4 team, the Lions are now 1-5 and probably doomed for 10 more losses. I can then use my ticket and ship it, along with any “2010 Detroit Lions Super Bowl Champions” t-shirts to Africa so they can be used for clothing and/or burned for heat.

The current odds have been cranked up to 5000-1, which makes me wonder why BWE couldn't have been pushed back a couple weeks. So why waste the money? Because with my luck, a 7-5 bet on the Saints is just as futile. And if I'm right? I just won 14 bucks. Using a new form of fuzzy math known as covering one's ears and going "LALALALALA," I have as much a chance of being right about the Lions as I would be about the Saints. Ergo, I might as well make it worth my while.

This weekend the Lions host the Rams. One would think that's a solid win against the team with the longest current losing streak, and then it's off to Seattle for a reasonable shot at Detroit's first winning streak since November 4, 2007. And then they could be at a solid … 3-5!

Aw, hell. I pissed away my money.

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