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How to get fit, maybe

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I subscribe to all sorts of fitness magazines. (They make great reading on the starimaster.) These magazines are full of inspirational articles about people who, after fifteen years of staring bleary-eyed at the tv, smartened up, saw the error of their ways, and started to shape up. Inevitable, they lost 76 lbs–on average, of course.

So I figured out a way to lose weight:

1. Exercise 60 minutes every day. Check.
2. Lift weights. Check.
3. Eat healthy foods. Check.
4. Pounds come rolling off–well, not exactly.

You see, all these people spent their days eating and goofing off before they started this program. I, on the other hand, have been exercising, eating right, and gaining one pound a year for 20 years. Which makes me 20 lbs overweight.

I come from a long line of short, fat people. My mother: short and fat; her mother, ditto. My extra 20 lbs makes me the lightweight in the family-of-origin photo album. Reading from left to right: my grandmother, fat; my mother, fat; me, not that fat.
My children are slim and gorgeous, however.

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About Miriam

  • Olga

    Im 42 years of age. I weigh 89kg. My goal is 68kg. I have been trying to reach that weight for 20 years. My muscles are starting to get sore. And I walk like an old lady. And I would work out at the gym 3 times a week. Please help me to lose weigh. What to eat and muscle exercise.

  • http://spaces.msn.com/members/dorksandlosers Tan Hoang

    Positive thinking and patience are needed also. What helps for me is a nice everyday routine of exercise to help kick-start the day. I’ve been riding my bike to school everyday for the past six years. A low calorie diet and regular exercise + playing a sport like tennis or swimming helps tremendously.

  • Bob

    I had a teacher in college, who although not fat, was definately thick around the middle (not your classic hourglass shape). Wasn’t I suprised to hear that she had won a national triathalon for her age & sex. Maybe for you, thick is just natural. However, I would talk to some fitness expert, you might not be exercising right for weight loss.

    Also, if you have been exercising for 20 years, I assume you are at or near 40. You may want to consider certian suppliments that boost HGH & other hormones to youthful levels, as that may be the problem.

  • Eric Olsen

    we have recently discovered the cure for those extra pounds: stomach flu

  • http://www.templestark.com Temple Stark

    Is there such a thing as a starimaster or are all your endorphines going elsewhere :-)

    – yeah try hard to get the stomach flu or dysentry. Get a disease or mild illness.

    Without that – well, you’re not really trying are you :-)

  • http://victorplenty.blogspot.com Victor Plenty

    A temporary tapeworm works wonders on the waistline, or so I’ve read somewhere. Haven’t tried it myself, of course. Can’t find a pharmacy that sells tapeworms over the counter.