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How Much Do You Hate Your Partner’s Ex?

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“Ex-girlfriend”, “Ex-boyfriend”. Probably some of the most despised words in the history of mankind.

Exes are routinely detested, purely on the basis that they shared *something* with your partner, once upon a time. Your partner will categorically despise your exes, too, on the same basis, yet you fail to understand why they have an issue with someone you stopped loving long, long ago (if you ever DID love them in the first place).

Allow me to embellish from a personal perspective.

I despise all of L’s exes. Of course, when we first met, we were able to laugh about our past encounters without it cutting out the very crux of our souls. It didn’t feel like a dagger was being stabbed into the pit of my stomach when he mentioned an ex. We even talked about how annoying it was that prospective partners hated exes, and how pathetic it truly was.

Because it IS pathetic. Why do we harbour such issues with people from our lover’s past? Why can’t we see them as people who effectively led them to us, taught them what they did and didn’t want from a relationship, and gave us some life experience?

Would you really want your lifelong partner to be a total virgin? I personally think I’d see that as more of a threat than someone having a track record of utter whoredom. They would have no idea what they were missing, which is far more dangerous than a few memories of a failed relationship (or six).

To be fair, L’s exes only ever matter to me when I have a severe case of PMT. Otherwise, I can see it from a mature, sensible perspective. I prefer to look forward than to dwell on the past. Having said that, I would wish them all dead were it not for the fact that, had he not dated them, he would no doubt be a different person than the man he is today.

It’s standard procedure for girls to slate each others’ boyfriend’s exes. If you’re out with one of your girlfriends, and she points out a girl that once dated her current beau, you take on her perspective and whittle that girl down to an absolute minger. Even if she’s stunning, you both comment that, in fact, she has a rather large arse/smaller boobs/frizzier hair.

And if there’s nothing physical about her to dis (i.e. she undeniably resembles a far more perfect version of Claudia Schiffer), you conclude that she clearly has an IQ of 14/the personality of a fried beetle/a vile character, with a track record of seventy-five past shags and hence has contracted every STD under the sun.

I care little for any of my exes. I barely even remember anything about them. None of them matter anymore. The only one I even have any respect for is J, because he’s a good person, and that should cause no concern for the love of my life.

Quite simply because when I found out J had a new woman in his life, I physically jumped for joy, and I wish absolutely nothing but the best for them. I’d happily attend his wedding and see his first-born without even a pang of envy. And looking back at my history, there are no “what-ifs”, no regrets whatsoever.

And yet, I bet his girlfriend categorically despises me. I bet my name can’t be mentioned in her presence. And I don’t blame her. I don’t matter: I’m part of his history as he’s part of mine, but I could never pose a threat to her in any sense.

But we can never see these things objectively.

It’s a shame.

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About Donna

  • http://adamantsun.blogspot.com Steve S

    how long have you two been together? We’ve been together almost 20 years and haven’t thought about each other’s exes for most of that time.

    Eventually the insecurity and jealousy will pass and you will come to realize that all the past relationships each of us have, help to form who we are today, so it is the past relationships that give you the boyfriend before you today (a lot of other factors, family/personality, etc. also play a role of course).

  • Duane

    I know all about my girlfriend’s exes. And she has a lot more of them than I do. I don’t worry about them because I am vastly more wonderful than they are (were).

  • http://www.foliage.com/~marks Mark Saleski

    i have a great ex’s story. it’s short too:

    my wife’s ex lives with my ex.

    what do i win?

  • Duane

    An invitation to be a guest on Springer?

  • http://selfaudit.blogspot.com Aaman

    All my ex’es live in Texas, no really.

    My wife actually likes her – probably because she’s happily married.

  • godoggo

    My last partner’s (none now, which isn’t exactly A-OK, but not really my most pressing problem) most recent ex was an Arab and I’m a Jew. Didn’t bother me none.

  • http://adamantsun.blogspot.com Steve S

    Looking back at my comment, I called it insecurity and jealousy. It is, but it sounded cold the way I wrote it. We all have our insecurities in one way or another, so nothing judgemental or negative was meant. But if you think about it, what is the REAL motivation behind hatred of the ex? Meant with the best of intentions.

  • http://www.ang6666.blogspot.com Angie

    Jealousy is such a wasted emotion. And causes so many issues when really there is none.

  • http://www.gnomestories.com parker

    Have you ever thought the reason it bothers us is because we are seeing our own discarded self in the future?

  • http://www.cdbaby.com/X-15 Douglas Mays

    Wow, interesting issue. I have experience from both sides. My wife has had a life destroyed by the actions of an ex-friend/boyfriend thing. His actions with her (he turns her onto crack) and now clean but obsessively being a ‘friend’ (since he has none) and psychologically choking her. She attempted to take her life due to the inability to escape his intrusion and damage, recently. It is a sad story…

    Me, an ex-wife who did indeed have success in the suicide game 5 years ago (when current wife and I first got together) who current wife admired very much. I just have a thing for the woman crying out inside. I hear that call from inside. I nurture. It really kicks my ass sometimes.

    Oh god, too much to go into…

    peaceloveguidance

  • christina

    my boyfriend’s ex wife is a disgusting whore and I hate her!

  • Emily

    Well I can’t help being crazy about my bf’s exes. Three long term ones before me and the image of them having sex just makes me want to throw up. I just can’t handle it. I try to tell myself to be a good person and understand that there are other people in the world and his life besides myself. But it just makes me physically ill. And hurt. Not jealous. Hurt that I didn’t get to experience it, hurt that the tender things he says to me are probably not the first time he has said them. A feeling of not belonging. Feeling like a 3rd party. Not understanding how the man of my dreams has had other women of his dreams.

  • http://blogcritics.org/author.php?author=Cerulean Cerulean

    Unless I’m in their immediate presences, what I mostly feel is pity.

  • ratty

    my ex walked out after 16 years for a feller that made her “laugh” huh did’nt make me laugh women do what they want and the establishment help them. What do we (men) get the shit that follows. you can’t live with them and you can’t live without them……..sad but true… I rest my case.

  • c

    My Bf’s ex is the worst kind. the older, wiser, spiritual, earthy, free, artist type that constantly makes me feel like a shallow shit because I get my teeth whitened and dye my hair. Shit- I am a do-godder, life lover, but I fear I can never compare to her altruism. And apparently she was quite the selfless dick sucker in bed too. I feel like what I guess I am….the young, inexperienced opptomist who just doesnt understand why I am loved. Lucky? Or a temporary replacement?

  • http://dumpsterbust.blogspot.com Eric Berlin

    Donna — I added in an Amazon link in for you, feel free to change.

  • http://blogcritics.org/author.php?author=Cerulean Cerulean

    Oh, I had got this subject wrong. I hardly thought of my boyfriends’ exes, except as health factors. I pitied my ex boyfriends’ current squeezes because I knew just what was wrong with the guy they were with. The exception was if I was in their presences, in which case we might be frosty to each other.

  • http://none.com Bob A. Booey

    Douglas, I’ve said it before, but you’re textbook co-dependent.

    It’s hot when chicks hate my ex’s. I know it means I’m gonna get good, freaky, nasty sex that night.

    That is all.

  • http://www.whotohate.com Hank

    If it’s that bad, send your partner a lil message…

    http://www.whotohate.com

  • greeny

    I hate the size 0, earthy, artistic bitch with a passion. When we first started dating she used to call but eventually I pursuaded him otherwise. Am I sad to ruin a friendship? Hell no! She would have broken us up at any chance she got and was always saying how much she missed and loved him. Bitch. What really irks me though is how he failed to she what a shallow bitch she was. A spoiled shallow bitch. God it feels good to say it! ;) ah…take a breath.

  • kalampay

    maybe the reason why exes are despised because we see something about them that reminds us of ourselves…

  • kat

    my boyfriends ex is pretty. i look at her pics and think. what the hell? sometimes i wanna punch her in the face.

  • marcus

    i cant believe you guys/gals you cant hate your exs you would never of shared those secrets those moments of pleasure the good times and the bad sounds like you miss them more than anything or are jealous of them now!accept you loved an lost an move forward lifes too short for hate just remember you loved them for a reason once an maybe one day you could find it in yourselves to forgive them for what ever reason

  • my_ex_looks_like_a_ghoul

    I don’t know about that…I hate my ex-boyfriend. I hate him because the person I thought I was sharing myself with was–what I thought at the time–a kind of quiet person with a passionate heart beneath it all. Turns out that under that somewhat clammy exterior was an even clammier interior.
    He was insecure, accusatory, needy and dull. It got to the point where it was sucking the life out of me.
    I was loyal to him for years. I kept hoping that something would melt that ice (that crept over everything, right about the time I moved to another state to be with him.)
    Eventually I moved back home. I tried to remain friends with him, but he pretty much stabbed me in the back, making accusations of infidelity (because I dated someone after I’d moved out of the place we shared). The whole thing lives a rotten taste in my mouth and I effectively wasted four years of my life…years I can never recoup.
    So no, I don’t think that everyone who hates their ex necessarily misses that ex.
    Because trust me, I do not love or miss that person.

    Or, to put it another way, perhaps it is our own wishful thinking that finds us in a situation where the one we “loved” is now the one we hate.

  • Sarahbelle—One pissed off woman

    I hate my boyfriend’s ex so much I could rip her god damn throat out with my bare hands and stab her in the eyes, and you know what? I would gladly spend every single moment in prison….I wish I could at least turn her into a toad.

  • tessi

    my boyfriends ex is actually trying to get him back.. and hes getting annoyed (which makes me thrilled as evil as i sound) but shes getting on my case.. shes actually flat out said “i want you back” to him and physically calls him on the phone ten or more times a day.. you should see his missed calls list on his phone its all her..
    shes driving me nuts! I trust him completely but I dont trust her..
    he was being nice to her and returned some computer program to her house and well when he got there she wasnt wearing anything.. so he texted me and was like call me right now.. so i did not knowing what was going on.. and lets say she got “angry” and said to never go back.. however 30 mins later he already had two more missed calls from her.
    im just wondering if anyone has advice for us on her.. shes driving us nuts and not giving him any privacy.. i think the important thing is for me to not get involved (cause i havent talked to her once yet) and for him to deal with it… however she never listens..
    anyways i would love to get along with her.. but not if shes gunna hit on my man all the time..
    advice?
    and good article btw.. i think ex’s are life lessons..

  • Rachel

    Hey everyone, I’m so glad that I found this page. I have been struggling with this issue so much and it has gotten to the point where I don’t know what to do anymore. It is comforting to know that I am not the only one out there with this problem. My bf’s ex is DISGUSTING..I know I would probably say that even if she were as hott as me..just off the fact that shes his ex, lol but no really, she is gross..shes fat, shes stupid, shes a stripper, shes a nasty slut..It makes me think that my bf has really low standards..or at least did until he met me. But it kills me to know he was with her. It’s this disgusting mix of jealousy, rage, frustration, sadness, and rejection. I am completely obsessed, I always go to her online journals and myspace page, as if I’m searching for answers as to why he loved this girl so much…Of course going to her pages makes me feel even worse. Then, I let it out on him..and he doesn’t understand it because he didn’t do anything wrong. In the beginning of the relationship he talked about her ALL the time, how he loved her so much and shit, he would even tell me about their sex life and intimate details that I did NOT want to hear, then he would try to make fun of her to make himself feel better…I could tell he wasn’t over her, but it was a new relationship and it didn’t effect me…as the months went by, it started to really get under my skin, I told him never to speak of her again, and he didn’t…with a few exceptions, and yet here I am, 2 years into the relationship, still completely at utterly obsessed. I reject his friends because they are cool with her, I get really mad at my bf because I will think of her, I will cry about it..It will go away for a while, but it always comes back. Perhaps the reason I’m so jealous is because I feel he did so much more for her than he has done for me, he got a place with her and lived with her for 3 years, and he hasn’t got a place for me n him .. Also, my bf and I hardly have anything in common..she smoked weed all the time, listened to rap, was cool with his friends and I am the total opposite, I don’t smoke at all, I listen to rock and I hate all of his friends. Perhaps thats why I’m jealous..all I know is that this is killing me and my relationship.

  • anonymous

    I like my boyfriend’s ex-wife. We wanted to be nice to each other for their childs sake, but ended up being really good friends.

  • Natalie

    I am girlfriend number 33!! oh yes indeed i have 32 to hate and dispise! but whats worse is he cheated on practically all of them! we have been together for a year and a half now and hes not done anything to make me think hes cheated on me (well he wouldnt have time to if hes not at work hes with me!) but what really gets to me is that they call him and text him and to be honest i do not trust him around any of his exs fullstop. im fne with other girls but no them! iv asked him to stop answering their calls and replying to their texts but he doesnt and know does it behind my back and dust tell me theyv called/texted ok he wants an easy life but it makes me trust him even less!! this one girl was a complete and utter bitch to me wen we first got together so obviously i have issues with her! she kept calling him so one day i asked him to choose between me and her, he picked me! but the othr day she came into the bar wer he works and i was ther he didnt say anything to her which made me very happy! but the next day he was like i really wanted to say hi to her, and was generally interested in who she was with cos he didnt no who they wer! is he still inerested in her?? what should i do? he gets soo moody aswell whenever i ask him to stop speaking to them and calls me controlling am i? i wouldnt mind him saying hi if he happened to bump into them but im not into the calling and texting thain whatsoever what does anyone think am i wrong??

  • bobydoll

    I hear what you all are saying but some of it is real insecurity..Those of you know who you are… I have put up with my boyfriend for two years letting his former wife of only 3 years but being with her for 8 come into our life and take from him, even tho he talks trash about her he always bends.. I was married for 30 years and my former isn’t even mature enough to talk to me when it comes to the business we have together… He can be so strong yet so weak, I even asked him if he still loved her and he said “NO”..Then why all the pathetic compassion? You guys out there tell me./..

  • Carey

    I contacted my ex recently as it was Xmas and I wanted to know if he was doing okay. I ended our three year relationship 4 years ago because the deadline to move to my country had continually been extended and I couldn’t take it anymore. We lived together for three years and i loved him but after waiting 8 months for him to come I ended it, we were engaged but love was not enough to keep us together. He was really angry when we broke up and I ceased contact because I was sick of the abuse, I knew he was hurting so forgave him then and there for all his hurtful emails. I am married now and have moved on just wanted to know he was okay and had moved on, he emailed to tell me that he had cheated on me 11 times 5 with women i knew during our relationship. This email cured me of any lingering feelings, Most of his abuse post break up surrounded me cheating which I wasn’t, I just needed to get on with my life and was tired of waiting for him. I guess he had to try and hurt me one more time for hurting him but it didn’t hurt it reaffirmed I had made a painful but right choice.

  • http://alexandria-jackson.blogspot.com/ alexandria jackson

    I love my ex-husband’s fiancee. She is great to my kids, she’s a great person and he is so much better a person with her than he ever was with me. Together, we’re a clan and have melded our families in a wonderfully positive way.
    My partner’s ex – a completely different story and the kids suffer for it. Though I do what I can, I tend to blame my partner for not being stronger….I feel for all of you who struggle with this issue.

  • sammy

    i hate my boyfriends ex girlfriends. he has only had sex with two of them but i just hate all of them. actually one of the girls he had sex with wasnt even his girlfriend and that KILLS me. im serious. i cry about it almost everyday and i just want it to go away. i starve myself all the time cause i feel like im not good enough. i want to be better than them and it hurts me soooo bad when i think about them having sex and him looking ather the way he looks at me. he means so much to me and it really breaks my heart to think about him loving another girl the way he loves me :(

  • Tiffanie

    I honestly have to say that a lot of you girls on here are nuts. Not everybody, but most of you are nuts. I have thank you though, because you’ve shed some insight to my ex’s new girlfriend. She just randomly started calling my house, and she’s under the impression that I want her man back. I don’t want her man, hell, I’d happily pay for their marraige license. My ex for some reason has given her the impression that I still want him, and is trying to give that same impression to my current boyfriend, but I want him about as much as I want to drink a gallon of lighter fluid. Fact of the matter is, the girl doesn’t know about the cheating and abuse that is in her future. I could care less about this man or his new girlfriend. Crazy girls, chances are your boyfriend’s exes could care less about you or your existence. There is a chance that she’s happy that her trash is now your treasure, and she’d rather live peacably without a trace of you or him in her world. Instead of being concerned with her, you need to focus on your relationship before you become an ex.

  • amy

    I am so happy i found this website and to know that im not the only one! i recently found pictures and videos of my boyfriend and his ex fiance and every day when i think about him and any of his ex’s or people he has slept with i feel like i want to be sick!! eurgh i hate ex’s hate hate hate :@

  • alexasothermother

    This is crap. Add a kid to this and you would not be so lighthearted. I could care less who he did before me. When you add a vindictive, jealous ex who cannot accept that he found happiness with someone else, it is different. Throw in a child to use as a pawn, a tug of war trophy, you can make it heart wrenching agony. I am an ex, I could care less what he does, who he does, or when he does it. My daughter has a right to love her dad without clouding that with my personal feelings. Unfortunately, most women are too shallow and pathetic to follow this suit. Women need to grow up, admit that it did not work, it is not all about them and move on. You have a choice to be the ex from hell or the ex that had enough conviction to move on and create a life aside from the past.

  • ineedhelp

    i cant get over these jealous thoughts that he didn’t save himself for me like i did for him we’ve been married almost 4 years and i still cant stop thinking how could he have done this why can’t i just let it go. I have severe depression and am taking medication for it and i’m sure that because i have low self esteem that is what makes me not able to forgive i hate this woman she is such a slutty whore and so was my husband at the time. sometimes i wish i had never married him because of what he did with her. but he is good for me and i know my life would be much worse without him. sometimes i wish i married someone else though someone who had the same standards as i did. but i have found out that she is going to iraq soon and i hope she gets her stupid whore face disfigured in an explosion. my husband said that she came on to him and they got together and he felt like no one cared about him so when someone showed interest in him he felt good and they basiclly f***ed in his car in her driveway her on his lap they had a great time well f**k him i want to do the same thing to another man for the sole purpose of getting back at him. i think that would make us even and i wouldn’t have any more hard feelings towards him after i did it. I seriously want to do this to him some day i think it’s the only way i can get over these feelings of hatred towards my husband and his f***ing whore @$$ b!t*h slut ugly faced ex lover girlfriend. I hope she dies and rotts in hell. justice must be served so one day i’ll get back at him the same way he did it with her. that is a promise

  • gaynor

    i hate my girlfriend’s ex so much i wish for her to just fall off the planet…

  • Sarah

    I think it must be a girl thing to hate our partner’s exes? I don’t know many men who experience the same emotion.

    I hate my boyfriend’s ex so much. She tried to break us up for ages, would make nasty comments to me in public, in front of my boyfriend, and would constantly try and cuddle my boyfriend. And my boyfriend just let it happen. And now we’re living in the aftermath of that, where I am an insecure and jealous of every little thing. Help me?!?

  • Rosie

    I was never keen on my boyfriend’s ex but I didn’t viciously and obsessively hate her till she contacted him otu of the blue months after he’d broken up with her, and at the beginning of our relationship. She seemed weirdly friendly to him but switched into bitch mode when he told her he had a new girlfriend.

    She was kind of snide to me too. Now I despise her. She was also his first, well my ex was my first too, but at leat my ex didn’t try and worm his way back in like her. I once accidently saw a picture of them together and felt physically sick! It brought my boyfriend to tears, seeing how hurt I was. I hate her for being there first, for visiting all the same places, for sleeping in his bedroom, for touching him even. She’s fat and ugly and bitchy but I still feel inferiour to her simply because she was there first. I instantly despise anything that is related to her in any way. Sometimes I get visions of them having sex and it makes me want to cry, the thought of her touching him makes me ill. I hate her so much.

    He didn’t love her, he says it was a teenage relationship mainly for status. He said he loves me and that in his eyes I am the most beautiful girl in the world. It seems to break his heart when I am upset, plus he even contacted his ex to ask her to take down stuff from the internet about their relationship that she’d left up, because he wanted to prove to me that she’s gone in every single way. So I really want to learn to cope with this better…for his sake. He’s an amazing person and I love him. He’s so good to me, and we have something that neither of us have had before. He’s shown me it, proven it to me.

    Every now and then I look at her photos on facebook or something and want to punch her. But it’s improved since the beginning. I hate her so much, and sure sometimes I get the urge to sign her up to fetish sites or something stupid like that, but I’d never seriously mess with her. I hate her, but in a realistic view all I really want from her is to stay the hell out of our lives forever.

  • quietreader

    I am also suffering from this blistering experience. The frustrating part is that we are just friends. Friends who just happen to want each other, yet restraining ourselves to be together. All the time when he is with me, he wants me to stay and spend time with him. I willingly do so, but he likes to occasionally hit on topics concerning his ex. I love him so much, and knowing that were just friends I tried to tolerate, and be a good friend and understand. But he knows that I love him,and we have already discuss this matter that eventhough we like each other, we are just going to stay friends. I didnt mind it at all. I tried to listen to him everytime he talks about his ex, but it has gotten to a point where I can’t stand it anymore. I enjoy the time we spent together hanging out,laughing and teasing each other, but the moment he gets to the topic about his ex, my insides cringes, and the entire jolly mood of the conversation gets all cold and silent. I am always there when he needs me, when he needed someone to talk to, to tease,and I guess to just fill his vaccuum. The devastating part is that, he knows that he has hurt me with that particular subject, but he just chooses to ignore. One moment he treats me like I am so important,one moment like a gf, and another moment, like a nobody.He says he doesn’t miss me, eventhough he ask me to accompany him very often.He said before that he doesnt miss his ex, and sometimes he says he does. The fact that he talks about her more and more, gives me so much more reasons to simply despise her. I dont want to at all. I feel bad. Its so unhealthy to just dislike someone for a silly reason like this. I just dont understand why is it so difficult to forget about this sickening insecurity.But simply because his ex has made him like this, and she being all spoiled by her popular life and moving on with no concerns for him, and him still somehow reminding himself about her, and him cruelly disregarding my feelings, making me feel like I am nothing else but just a friend he can choose to hurt occasionally and take for granted puts me in a pit of debilitating agony and sheer confusion.

  • Susan

    I found this website because after divorcing a man (if I can call him that) that caused me to feel this extreme rage and have murderous thoughts of his exes, I wanted to find closure. I feel so sorry for all of you going through this soul-crushing feeling, and although I can’t offer a solution because it is my firm belief that you can’t change your mind on this issue when your heart is in love (or ” in jealousy” which can be confused with “love”), I can at least share a story to help you realize that you are not alone.

    I married the first guy I had sex with. He was a man-whore, and a lying sack of sh*t. I was young and very nieve, not realizing that he was so insecure with his own self that he used embellished stories of ex girlfriends to TRY to make me jealous, thus crazy, thus completely controlled. I lived in this hell for about 10 years, my entire twenties are lost to him. He also cheated on me, and he lied to me about everything. I finally got up the strength to divorce him after having slipped into a serious depression that required medication. Now, I am so happy! No more ghosts of his past haunting me, in fact, now I laugh to think about them and how stupid it all is. He met a new woman within weeks of my leaving and is already married to her. I read her blog on myspace and she hates me with every fiber of her being. I pity her, but I admit that it is a comfort to me to realize that I wasn’t crazy. He is doing to her what he did to me.

    Friends, this is not normal to feel extreme jealousy. My new boyfriend has a past, but he respects me and does not TRY to create jealousy. (except at first he did mention a few, and I realize now that I had put up a wall so he wanted to test the waters to see if I’d react. I did, and he stopped) Now, if an ex crosses our path, he is respectful to her but makes sure that everyone in the room knows he loves me. I feel safe. I feel happy, and I can assure you that every guy you’re obsessing about is WRONG for you. You deserve so much better! Think about it; breaking up with him is much better than being haunted by his embellished past (which more than likely isn’t even true.) If you are keeping yourself awake at night and crying every day, is that making you happy? And the fact that you can’t trust him? There is no love in distrust. I dare say his exes are looking at you with pity, they may want to just give you a hug and tell you that you’re way too good for him.

  • Rosie

    Susan

    Thanks for the story, it’s great you managed to get out of that relationship and are happy with your current guy :).

    However I just want to point out that it isn’t the boyfriend’s fault in every case that the other is jealous. Breaking up isn’t always the answer as while in your situation the guy was using it to control you…in other situations, it is not the boyfriend’s fault but a manifestation of the other’s personal issues and low self esteem (such as myself!)

  • cat

    Wow!! I just found this site. The comments are amazing. I struggle with this obsession of my boyfriend’s (to quote him: brainy, good looking, rich……blah, blah, ad nauseum) ex-girlfriend. I’m pretty sure he said her poop didn’t stink either. I’d go on..but then I’d have to go throw up (wish it would be on her). I thought I was nuts for thinking such horrible thoughts about their relationship. Now that I’ve seen that others have exactly the same feelings is reassuring…that I’m not actually nuts, but part of a much larger universe known as “I hate my partner’s ex universe”. Thanks y’all.

  • Desiderius

    “I think it must be a girl thing to hate our partner’s exes? I don’t know many men who experience the same emotion.”

    Nah, I’m a guy, who’s absolutely in love with a beautiful girl who, much to my agony, didn’t share my own standards.
    I guess I must stand out quite a bit in this day and age, but I saved myself for this girl, yet she’s slept with three other men (one of which she wasn’t dating, just drunk and horny).
    I realize that that’s all behind her now and she loves me above all else, but I can’t help that nagging feeling when one of those bastards get brought up. It’s like every bit of happiness and mirth are sucked right out of me…
    What’s worse is that the first jackhole knocked her up (she miscarried three months in), which just kills me inside.

    I love this girl more than anything in the world, and would love to be able to move past this awful, ugly jealousy and hatred that boil within me…

  • cat

    Desiderious…….I struggle with this emotion daily. I take jibes at my partner because of his past comments about the “beautiful” women he has dated in the past. I hate them all (there are many) but hate one in particular that seems to have been “miss perfect”. Though my b/f does all kinds of nice things for me, I just can’t shake the feeling that rolls over me. I’m wrecking the relationship, but I just can’t seem to get over it. It makes no sense to me since he hasn’t been cheating or anything like that…I just keep thinking of all the glowing descriptions he has given me about this bitch, who by his admission, treated him like s–t. I totally understand your happiness and mirth being replaced by those awful feelings boiling up.

  • jamie

    i just wish my gfs exs would piss off and leave her alone let her live her new life and go deal with there own with someone else if i ever seen one in the street id beat the hell out of them anyday. im so angry i want to smash one right now!

  • mallamo

    i hate my girl’s ex, because, even though there is nothing left between them romantically, the ex still writes to her every day or calls or texts.. still wants that place of being best friends. what the ex doesnt realize is that that is now my place and it is totally out of line for the ex to be trying to weasel their way back into my girls life. they were together 7 years and my girl and i have only been together for one- i know we have the real thing- but when the ex is around i cant help but want to knock them out. hate hate hate hate hate them.

  • Eve

    I am so glad I found this site too! Thanx everyone for sharing. The part about the ex’s contacting your current is really terrible. It seems to happen when the ex still hasn’t moved on, which for some reason in my case is totally threatening. I think about her all the time, it’s twisted. I’ve seen pictures of them together and examine them as if I am looking for some clue as to why they were happy, and why did he stay with her for three years! I know he totally loves me and has proven that time and time again, and yet the obsession and hatred continues as if he had cheated on me with her! I found an email she wrote to him a few months ago where she asked him “How can I win back your heart, I still love you and miss you, I can’t forget you!” My body went hot and I wanted to throw up! AAAHHHH when it’s over just let it be over and move on you dumb b*#$@!!! It’s insecurity right? I should be happy that he learned form his past relationships and is now the amazing man I love today, and yet, I am not so glad he had all that time loving someone who wasn’t me. *sigh* what can I do?

  • verve888

    It really bugs me when people make blanket statements about “crazy insecure women”. I hate my boyfriend’s ex with a passion, but he gave me a damn good reason to do so. They were still “best friends” when we began dating, and he made it clear the first time I met her that she was still his #1 priority. It only got worse from there, but I was always in the wrong for feeling jealous and insecure about their continued relationship, because they were “just friends”. According to my boyfriend, I was “the only one who isn’t cool with it”. Try having your feelings ignored and being treated like a 3rd wheel for years by someone who is supposed to love you, and then tell me that I’m just a crazy insecure control freak. Crap, I’m really pissed off all over again now ;)

  • Sandra

    I’m so glad I found this website! AHHHHH
    I feel the same with all of you! Especially Eve!
    My boyfriend’s ex is an old disgusting manipulative bitch.
    She’s old 10 years older then me and my bf . Still single and 4 years after being left by my boyfriend for me still desperately doing anything to win him back.

    She even sent him nude pictures of her! My boyfriend already deleted her off facebook, and changes his phone number, and I know would not speak to her again except for just a general wondering that she still hasnt killed herself yet. But it pisses me off so much that its wasting my time and sanity. I have never hated someone so much. Deep breath.
    I know my bf is sick of her. And if I mention her name we get into a massive fight and he made me promise that I wont mention her again. So I cant share this with anyone. My friends are all sick of hearing me talking about her. I hope she dies and rott in hell.

  • beaie

    im glad i found this blog. Although it was written 5 years ago. Im glad that i share the same sentiments with some people..

    Actually, my husband’s ex is one of the ugliest woman ive ever seen..plus she doesnt have a nice figure too! I hate her because my husband did love her once..even at the time when i was there for him as a friend and he didnt give me his attention that time. Ive loved him longer than i can remember and ive been with him for more than 2 years now. But still, i hate his ex so much because she’s so ugly she doesnt deserve him, not even a minute. My god, she looks like a FROG!

  • XHater

    I generally despise exes because they’ve shared an intimate bond and experience with my partner before he was with me. Sure their experience together made him who he is, but I can’t shake the jealousy. It actually makes everything he does with me feel less special, like he’s done it all before. It diminishes our relationship in my brain. Yes he’s not with his ex anymore and he’s “with me now”, but that doesn’t make me feel better. Picture this: when we’re intimate, I am flooded with images of him having sex with his exes, doing the same things, making the same noises, faces, etc. When he makes jokes or does something out of habit, I can only think of how he must’ve done those same things with the other women in his past. If he mentions the city where he used to live or trips he took that included his ex, I am enraged. My current partner keeps in touch with his ex-wife, and because of the above sentiments, it burns me that he fights to remain friends with her. I feel like the past should stay in the past. All these feelings physically hurt me and I am consumed by their ferocity whenever I see pictures of his ex or find out that they’ve spoken again. It comforts many people that their partner and ex parted ways amicably, but it doesn’t make me feel good at all. In fact, as twisted as it sounds, I actually wish there was some bad blood instead of mutual respect. That way I would feel like he appreciates me more than he ever did her. But as it stands, no matter how much he reassures me that his bond with me is unique and incredible, there just isn’t enough contrast in my head between me and his ex(es) to convince me. If she were a total uneducated degenerate whom he no longer respected, I know I wouldn’t care this much. But she’s not. And they had a whole decade of married life together, to boot. UGH!!!!! Anyone else feel this way?? I haven’t seen enough posts about this particular type of ex issue. :S

  • wendy

    Hey girls I am soooo glad I found this site cus now i know I’m not the only one that hates my partners ex. I have been married for 2 years and so far everything is great we have a year old son and are living independently but when I moved in with him we lived with his brother in the same house were he lived with another girl they only lived together for a year and she left him. about 7 months later he met me and we started going out. In the begining he would always talk about her ALL THE TIME I wouldn’t pay much attention to it so it didn’t matter.but when I moved in with him the 1st day I was there I found some of her clothes in his dresser and under the bed he had a lot of dream shots of them together I was so angry and sad at the same time I didn’t kno wat to do I told him about it and he said that I was over exagerating and that he had forgotten those things were there.a few months later all of his family would always call me by her name and his ex would call him and beg him to leave me to get back with her. All of this left so much hate in me that I also go online and look at her facebook just to make sure she dosent want anything to do with him. I honestly don’t know how to get over all of this I try to be strong for my son but I just can’t believe I’ve put up with so much hopefully my husband values all the love I have for him and never does anything like that to me again cus I wouldn’t know wat to do..wat do yall think I should do??

  • http://www.howtogethimbackafterabreakupfast.com lora

    how is? none of his ppl tellin him to buy a family size tub of vasiline

  • trying

    Thank you everyone. I’ve just found this site and after reading your comments I’ve raised the courage to write a comment.

    I am in love with an amazing, loving man who is equally as mad for me. The only problem is unlike myself he has had ex lovers. Not many and I know how many because I’ve asked. He says with honesty that he never felt for them the way he feels about me, but everyday it kills me to think he has had sex with other girls. The fact that he has shared the moments we share, looked at them they way he looks at me, it makes me feel ill. I close my eyes and the physical image is still there, haunting, disgusting.

    It feels like it’s destroying me and I don’t want it to destroy us.

    Can someone just tell me it will go away. I can’t believe it from myself because after years now it’s still there.

    HELP

  • TC

    basically, I have got the same experience.. my boyfriend i love so much now.. told me about his ex.. it was his first girlfriend which is even worse..

  • TC

    and basically.. during the first few months of our relationship, he keep mentioning about his ex to me, saying that those times were the happiest moments in his life etc.. he even cried in front of me while watching a TV soap, saying that one of the character looks and feel like his ex..
    in the first few months for a couple should be sweet memories etc.. but he kept telling me these things and even put me away when I hug him or kiss him.. After that I found out that she left him for the other guy and the last time they see each other, she pushed him away after a final hug.. so this hug implanted in his mind that he will be left behind after that..

    i know every details about his ex and i even know she has perfect body shape and character.. even how they make out i know some details..

    Come on,, how can i cope with these.. it is the biggest nightmare i can ever get..

    help me.. it is affecting my life..it has been there for like.. 3 years.. i have been with him for almost 3 years.. and.. how can i remove this from my mind? i guess i need a mental doctor to help..

    anyone can give me any comments about how to remove these horrible horrible things in my mind?

  • the second and best gpirlfriend

    I am currently having the same experience with my boyfriend. We have now been dating for 7 months and it is going strong, he is amazingly caring sweet and loving and is my third serious boyfriend. I am also his second serious girlfriend but what makes me feel jealous and insecure is knowing that his girlfriend works right next door to our job and every time I see her it reminds me of his past. My boyfriend and I are the same age but she is 5 years older than us both and although he wasnt her first, she took his virginity from him. It just makes me sick knowing she had him first, slept with him first and that he genuinely loved the dumb bitch. She used him for money, forced him to convert to seventh day Adventist and pressured him to pop the question. He finally got sick of it and broke up with her shortly after we started talking. We became official a month after they broke up which caused me to later on feel like a rebound but he reassured me I am not a rebound and that I am the “one.” But I’m still jealous because I feel like he loved her more and did more shut for her like wash her car, pay her rent and round trip ticket to her little fucked up country Haiti. I also felt insecure when he looks at black girls who have dark skin like her (he’s white and I’m mulatto) I feel like she is more her type than I am. Also after making love he says “that was the best sex we have ever had” but never says “the best I have ever had.” They only dated for 9 months but somehow I feel he has done and experienced so much more with her. when he went to new York last year he even took pictures of where he wanted to get married to her which makes me want to get married in france or something just to outdo the spot he considered for them. I feel kind of silly now that I write all the reasons I am jealous or just some of the reasons. I still wish she would work somewhere else or move to the other side of the world, then I wouldn’t feel so threatened. There is always that slight insecurity that he might leave me and take her back is she apologized, paid him back and accepted him for him. If he left me I would probably do something to hurt them both. I love this man but the thouggt of his ex and the problems that could come could make me have to put both of them in the hospital. I made it clear to him I ain’t taking no shit so if you have the slightest love in your heart for her, let’s in this relationship now right on the spot so that I dont get my precious love, time and money wasted on a man who’s heart is with someone else. I still have dreams where he is cheating on me with her or when he admits he still loves her. But until those insecure dreams become reality I will continue to guve him all my love and trust and keep the past behind but one mess up and I will end it because no man is worth that kind of pain! And she better watch her step too around my man I won’t hesitate to disfigure her face!

  • the second and best gpirlfriend

    As an add to the above note I will say this, this man makes me happier than any other human being on the planet, he goes out of his way for me, takes me out to nice places and treats me like a queen. He tells me he loves me everyday and often tells me he is excited about our future. He wants me to be his wife and to have all his babies and is planning on buying me an 8,000 engagement ring after graduating from paramedic school. He spoils me with love, affection and tells me I’m his best friend and that he dosnt believe he could ever find a girl who is as good to him as I am. Everyone tells me I have nothing to worry about and to be honest I don’t, its just my own insecurity and fear of being hurt. Honostly ladies we have nothing to worry about! Just support your man, build him up, show him you are better than her by being the most loving and upbeat creature you can be. Don’t ever talk about the ex or else it will just make him remember her instead of forgetting her ugly ass. Give it time and you will be the truest and deepest love of his life. She has a tiny few month bit of his past. but you have the present, his future and maybe even the ring, the babies and the respect of being his wife! Not some little 9 month ex girlfriend! In 20 years she is not going to matter she is a mere experiment god put in his life to prepare him for you, I have to remember that!

  • Katherine

    I really just want my boyfriends ex to move the hell on! What the hell. She pisses me off. Just get the damn point he doesn’t want you anymore, that’s the whole reason you broke up anyway!!!

  • Katherine

    And to the “second and best girlfriend”, that was beautiful. That actually has helped me alot. Thank you.

  • Susan

    I have never known true hatred until I learned about my boyfriend’s ex.

  • Francis

    I fucking hate my fiancee’s ex. He’s one of the most fake, selfish, dull, indecisive, and accusatory bastards I’ve ever known in my life. Even she says she wasted 3 years of her life chasing someone who didn’t really care about her… want to know the best thing? She was nothing but a replacement for him. That’s right… she resembled his ex a lot, and when said ex came back into his life by mere occasion, he instantly cheated on her again and even wanted to tatoo the name of her miscarried babies (who were probably his) on his skin. Can you imagine how she must have felt? I don’t blame her for moving back home and falling for me instead.

    I’d do anything to get my hands around his throat and end his worthless existence.

  • Sam Daysh

    I dont hate my fiancee’s ex, I hate her friend who clearly likes her now. That asshole behaves disgustingly towards her even in my presence. He jusr stands there and pervs like a fucking rapist. I’m a guy and if I step in I’m the ‘thug’ and he’s the good guy who’s just having a good time and acts all innocent. She hardly even likes him at all so I know he isn’t a ‘threat’, but I still want to fucking beat him to death for being such a disrespectful, audacious shitbag. Physically pull my fiancee away from my side for a dance/perv/private chat one more time? . . . and it WILL be the last thing you ever do Dan you sad, desperate shit stain. ( I would like to add that he has had a girlfriend for 10 years, just to emphasize what a cunt he is).

  • Irene

    My fiancee’s ex is trying to get their divorce cancelled!

    I was bothered knowing about her before because he said she was a model and that he likes skinny women and I’m overweight. She is also black and I’m not. I have plenty of friends that are black but it is something I am personally not attracted to.

    I have had trouble with insecurities when I see black women and wonder if he would like them. He also had another girlfriend that was black. I don’t understand how I can be in the same group of women that he’s been with.

    I don’t like to think of her and I was doing okay when he finally had put an end to their communication a couple of months into our relationship. But now she’s back in our lives with this lawsuit wanting to be married to him again. She probably just wants alimony. Hopefully that won’t be the outcome but if it is, then she’ll be in our lives forever?

    I’m disgusted thinking about them together and don’t understand how he could have liked her. Yeah she was a model but I’ve seen pictures and I really don’t think she is pretty.

    I’m grossed out… I’m ashamed about my feelings. I want to be tolerant and this situation makes me have to face these ugly thoughts and feelings coming up in me.

    Will I ever get past this? I don’t really think I’m his type but he does love me like crazy so I think I’ve become his “type”. Is that good enough? Will this ever work? Help… :-(

  • how i got my love back

    ,,,,,,,,,,,,,please do not edit. Lots of scams here and there, I thought only prayers could bring my man back but it didnt work,then I tried begging, it also didnt work, I even tried spells myself, it didnt work,until I saw something about a female spell caster, I tried her, maybe because she was a female like me ,so she would feel my pain..

    Anyways, she had no site, nothing to show, but I just followed my heart and thanks to God that I did that because,IT WORKED.

    ALL SHE HAD WAS A EMAIL ADDRESS [Personal contact info deleted] then later a phone number… all I can say is, the spell worked,my man came back… I am happy

  • Ray

    I was first friends with my current girlfriend. I only saw her as a friend, really, so I was there for her when she was going through hard times with her then-girlfriend. I saw how much she loved her, and tried so hard to win her back after they broke up. Well, that relationship was over and this ex-girlfriend found herself a boyfriend. We got together with my friend three months ago. I am 100% sure that my girlfriend doesn’t care about her ex anymore, and I am sure that she loves me, but I just can’t let it go! We a facebook friends with her ex, and she has 1023 (literally!) tagged photos of herself, so they keep popping up. And I see her annoying pretty face (she is pretty) and I hate her so much. Or not even her, but the fact that my GF loved her so much for so long. I HATE IT!!! I don’t know how to get over it.

  • Jas

    I am about to breakup with my boyfriend because I feel so depressed and I can’t stand it anymore.

    He and his ex broke up in March this year after a 7 year relationship. He said the last year they were fighting almost everyday so they ended up breaking up and she went back to her country.
    He was depressed for several months after that, so I met him in April, 1 month after she left.
    We started as friends and in June (3 months after she left) we started dating. He was cold and pointed out all the time negative comments saying that his bad luck was because she dumped him.
    Finally he told me he couldn’t forget about her and that he could offer me only friendship. :(

    I stepped back for 2 months and he seemed to be still very sad… I felt rejected and I felt very angry about that I even didn’t want to talk to him anymore, because it pissed me off the fact that she was suffering for a biatch who abandoned him.

    In August suddenly he showed interest in me again and we started a serious relationship.. but he still were a bit ashamed of people looking us together and still were very cold.. he started leaving all that in about 1 month and now he is very caring, sweet and lovely. He has even talked to me about marriage and love.

    Personally I think he is just lying himself… I am very worried he is gonna leave me because one day he will wake up and find out he still miss her… we have 3 months together now and I feel so sad to think that 3 months is NOTHING compared to 7 years of relationship. ='(

    I see their pictures together and imagine 7 years of love and wonderful relationship, I feel like vomiting when I imagine them having sex or doing things together… nobody can forget a relationship like that so easily. And I think he is just desperate to forget her, but I don’t like the fact that he is using me to do that, he says he loves me but I am sure he still loves her very deeply.

    I hate her so much.. because she is just simply better than me. She is thin, I am chubby, her hair is straight, mine is frizzy, my face has pimples. They both speak the same language and are from same culture, I am hispanic and I have nothing to do with his culture. I feel so moronic when i am with him and his friends and all speaking his language.. I feel so alone. I am about to breakup because I think I gave up already. and i feel so sad because I left myself gave up while I am so in love but I don’t know how to go thru this.

  • pixie

    I just read I Hate His/Her Ex by Alex Cooper. You can get it on Amazon or other bookstores. It helped me to deal with so many issues that I had with my fiance’s ex – who I really hated!! Now, my relationship is perfect :) xxx

  • pixie

    I just read I Hate His/Her Ex by Alex Cooper. You can get it on Amazon or other bookstores. It helped me to deal with so many issues that I had with my fiance’s ex – who I really hated!! Now, my relationship is perfect :) xxx

  • pixie

    Just finished reading I Hate His Ex by Alex Cooper. Brilliant read for anyone having relationship troubles to do with past relationships :) xxxx

  • Icey

    Now, strangely, I got bored and was looking for something else online when this popped up in the google thingy. Thing is, I’m not totally convinced because I am actually trying to talk myself out of the accusation altogether but, has anybody ever heard of an ex girlfriend copycating her ex-boyfriend’s current girlfriend/fiancee? Strange as it sounds, but I have deleted my facebook currently because of her stalkish creepiness. For example, when she first saw pictures of me, I had blonde hair. She wasted no time at once dying her hair to match mine, and to wear a top very similar to my own in one of my profile pictures. I couldn’t care less, only his parents are still friends with her and so if I talked to them naturally I would just see her picture in their “friends” bar. So, honestly, I wasn’t snooping. One day, after I had went to the salon, and I did get my hair colored because I was a little disgusted to say the least after the blonde ordeal. Two weeks later, she had photos of her with MY HAIR once again! Only this time, she copied my red hair with my golden and bleach blonde highlights to a T. It was like she may have taken my photo into her salon and said “this is the hair I want” and they did it. Now, these exampels are only a few of some other odd things that have happened that I questioned and found creepy. I don’t have enough time or room to lsit off all of the weird, creepy, not to mention extremely “coincidental” things that have happened. I hate her because she keeps copying me, and trying to be like me as well. I am a big animal lover, and will post about dogs or cats for adoption often on my facebook. I also volunteer at the humane society. Suddenly, after she sees all of this, SHE also has a passion for animals and wow look at that she also volunteers at HER humane society lol. Another coincidental episode was the fact that I am a graduating Vet Technician and guess what? She says she is looking to enroll bakc in school for lol get this…. a VET TECH!! While I am getting a total laugh out of how pathetic she is being, I do have to say I am flattered by how she feels the need to match up to me. But couldn’t she do it without being so creepy and weird? Plus, I am slim and have boobs and a butt and she is just plain FAT. Not to be mean, but she is fat, and she’s not attractice. She has a huge nose, but she THINKS she is God’s gift to men. She even has lingerie pictures on her facebook. She was cheating on my boyfriend when they were together with guys she met on facebook too. So I guess I should just feel sorry for her, she seems to be suffering a SEVERE case of insecurity and worthlessness. She has absolutely no self-respect, that much has been obvious and I know this and I’ve never even talked to her. Does anybody else have this problem of unwanted fans like her? Please help… The only solution I have is to laugh and look the other way but please laughing at an idiot is sort of mean. I feel I should just come right out and tell her how sorry I am for her, and that there is help if she can only find it in her psycho head to go get some.

  • sachiko

    i hate my boyfriend’s ex so much. i have been with him for more than 3 years and never did i had the slightest notion that they have a kid together. it was kept as a secret from me. i found out about it accidentally while checking emails. we share the same email add and for those who know, yahoo mail now stores up yahoo messenger conversations. i read a conversation with his mom talking about his kid to his ex. i used not to mind the ex because compared to me she is nothing but finding out that they have a 5 year old son really angered me. his family never talked about his son when im around because he does not want me to know, when we were dating i clearly told him i do not want guys with kids.i feel so betrayed for more than 3 years! i am now hating also his family for being so hypocrite.and to his ex mostly because she is friends with my boyfriend’s family on facebook and he would tag the kid’s photo to them.
    all those marriage plans and babies that me and my boyfriend had been planning simply just vanished in my head.

  • starrxoxo

    Why am I letting her do this to me??

    My boyfriend has had three major girlfriends, and a slew of sexual conquests. Ever since he and I started dating 8 months ago, his second girlfriend, whom he dated for 3 years, has been obsessively calling and texting him. I wasn’t very worried, because our relationship was just blossoming and he handed the phone to me to answer when she called. She knew my name, what I look like, everything. I figured it was a harmless obsession because he always told me about how he never intended to stay with her that long, but was guilted into staying with her by her Mom. I was comforted because he let me talk to her, and I could hear how sick and distressed she sounded. No biggie.

    After they dated (eight years ago!), he played the field for a while until he met the third major girlfriend, whom he dated two years before we met. They dated for like nine months. He has never said much about her, except that one of his friends said she had “the perfect body”. When we first started dating, he had a picture or two on his Facebook that had her in it. He said she was the only girlfriend he liked before me, but that she had a good “front”, and that in the end, he found out she was a liar. I have seen her pictures, her face is average and in my opinion not very cute, but her body is quite nice… which makes me feel insecure, especially since I’m out of shape right now. My boyfriend likes to tell me I’m his first love, and his only love, and that he wants to marry me… He told his grandmother that I will be his last girlfriend. But I know he looks at this ex’s profile, along with some of his “conquests” profiles. I know it’s probably more that his pride was hurt over her deceit, but I can’t help but compare myself to her and wonder if she is more his type, or if he’s not over her. She’s a sorority girl and I’m an independent, she’s got big boobs (maybe fake?), and I’ve got naturally small perky ones, she’s “normal” looking and I’m exotic, she’s high maintenance and I’m a little lazy when it comes to my looks, she would say “yes” to whatever my boyfriend likes and pretend to like everything he likes, whereas I speak my mind. He’s very attentive to me, loving and affectionate, but I can’t help but wonder if he ever thinks about his past, and what kind of feelings he has when something reminds him of his past. Is she just a fun memory like I would say of my exes? Or would he trade me for her if he could? It’s a little silly how this one bothers me more than the one that calls all the time. I always wonder if she’s prettier than me, and I don’t know why that matters so much to me. I have always had image issues. I have bad skin that seems to bother only me, as everyone hits on me anyway. I should be happy that I get as much attention as I do, but then I always think “Well if I had a body like hers…” or “If I had straight hair like hers…” or “If I had great skin like hers…” to the point where it’s not even about my boyfriend anymore; It’s just between me and this girl that I have never met and probably would never notice on the street were she not my boyfriend’s ex. GRR. I have exes, too. And I have exes that I’ve said “I love you” to, and cried over, and now for the life of me can’t figure out why. They mean nothing to me now. So could I be making a big deal over my boyfriend’s ex for nothing? Because he actually liked her once upon a time? Because she has an amazing figure and is oh so perfectly manicured?

    At the end of the day, I just can’t figure out why I let someone, who isn’t in either of our lives, who is in MY mind more than in my boyfriend’s mind, affect our relationship so much. More importantly, why am I letting someone I’ve never even met, cause such a distress in me? I see it’s a common problem, so I guess my main question is… Is there any way around it?

  • pixie

    Try reading I Hate His/Her Ex by Alex Cooper – a book for anyone who needs help and advice dealing with their partner’s past relationship(s) – brilliant read! Available on Amazon or most bookstores – Kindle or paperback!

  • Becky

    I hate my boyfriend’s exes. They were all spoiled, trashy little bitches who I hate hearing about. I mean yeah, they’re all in the past, but what annoys me is the fact that he has more experience than I do in relationships since I’ve only had one ex and he has several. Plus I feel like I’m not good enough sometimes compared to them since they had more confidence in themselves than I do.

  • Anonymous

    So glad I found this. Luckily I don’t have much to worry about– I saw one of my boyfriend’s exes today and I’m still gutted right now thinking about it. He WAVED to her when he saw her! I’m not worried about them getting back together, her trying to break us up, etc. and I trust my boyfriend very much. But just the thought of the two of them having sex makes me sick to my stomach and I hate that I can’t just put this out of my head. And when I tried to talk to him about it, even though I’m honestly not worried about her tearing us apart, everything I said made me sound like a psycho and he took the ignoring me and brushing it off approach, which makes me even more psycho! Ugh, MEN!

  • halla5

    The main reason I don’t like my boyfriend’s ex is because she physically and emotionally abused him.

  • Vittra

    I hope they all die. I hate their face their family.

  • The girlfriend

    I can’t stand my boyfriends ex she always hounds him for child support and demands the money she seems bitter he didn’t take her back when she cheated bumped into her once and she smiled pleasantly then sees that I am his girlfriend and acts all bitchy grabs her son and practically throw him in his car seat my boyfriend is so sweet and loving and honest and handsome he’s everything I have been looking for together over ten years and content being his lady not married so happy with our life

  • joan

    I liked reading this, as I have a hatred for my fiancé ex, which I feel is justified because of the pain she caused us both. It’s nice to know that other feel the same, even if I know I shouldn’t.