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Hollywood Doesn’t Have An Original Idea In Its Pointy Little Head

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There are an amazing number of sequels and remakes either already released or in the works now. I had no idea there were so many sequels and remakes coming out.

When is Hollywood going to come up with something original that is good? One not on the list is a remake of that suspense classic “When A Stranger Calls”. I rented the original starring Carol Kane not long ago from Netflix. I also bought it for my son’s best friend for Christmas. He told me about the upcoming remake.

Here are some remakes on the list:

The Pink Panther

The 8th Voyage of Sinbad – If you haven’t seen The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, find it. Ray Harryhausen’s stop-motion animation makes that a good movie. He invented stop-motion animation.

Basic Instinct 2 – Risk Addiction

Beverly Hills Cop 4 – It’s rumored that Quentin Tarantino will direct.

The Breakfast Club 2 – Spare me.

Bubba Nosferatu – Starring Bruce Campbell. I wonder how Joe Lansdale feels about this, since he wrote the short story Bubba Ho-tep. Lansdale’s books are a bit hard to find, but that story is a riot. I own the book it appears in.

Evil Dead – I own the original, and it’s one of my favorite movies. It’s already been remade. The remake was Evil Dead 2. Why remake it again? It’s fine on its own.

Candyman 4 – Say it. I dare you. “Candyman… Candyman… Candyman… Candyman…” ;)

Casino Royale”

Fahrenheit 9/11 1/2 – I’m sure the wingnuts will go apeshit over this one.

Graduate 2

Halloween 9 – I could have sworn they were up to “Halloween 250″ by now…

Indiana Jones 4 – I thought Harrison Ford was getting too old to do this again?

Love At Second Bite – The original starred George Hamilton, he of the eternal suntan.

Police Academy 8 – Spare me, part 2.

Rocky 6 – Stallone will star in the movie and write the script, but there is no word whether or not he will direct.

X Files 2 – I’ll see this only if David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson play Mulder and Scully. I’m a major X-phile.

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About Trish Wilson

  • Shark

    “Hollywood Doesn’t Have An Original Idea In Its Pointy Little Head”

    Trish, nice sentiment, but… um…

    IT’S

    BEEN

    SAID

    BEFORE.

    heh. I just hadda.

    BTW: I’m sure you were using hyperbole, but just for the record, the Great Ray Harryhausen did NOT INVENT stop-motion.

    It goes back before he was born; probably a toss-up between Russian Ladislas Starevich and Emile Cohl.

    BTW: Starevich animated DEAD INSECTS, and if you want to see an astonishing piece of originality — rent or buy “The Cameraman’s Revenge” (It’s available as a compilation with many of his other shorts.) You won’t be disappointed.

    xoxo
    S

  • Shark

    BTW: You also forgot to mention other ubiquitous forms of Hollywood um.. um.. “inspiration”:

    Kiddie comic books

    Adult “graphic novels”

    Video games

    Foreign films (remakes of asian films are the source de jour)

    MTV

    Reality shows

    ugh… must stop… feeling nauseated… urgh…

  • Baronius

    Pretty remarkable list. One correction though: the next Rocky would be 6; the next Rambo, 4. I’m a little embarrassed that I knew that off the top of my head. But that’s what’s really odd about many of these remakes: I think they’re targeted at me. The Breakfast Club, Halloween, and Rocky were my youth. Are they stealing ideas from 20 years ago or are they trying to lure my generation back to the theaters?

    If Hollywood’s big idea is to get us 38-year-olds to the cineplex, it’s not going to happen. And I think they are trying to. Think about the pseudo-remake genres of prequels and “versus” movies (“Predator vs. Alf” or whatever). They all relate back to my high school years. I’ll see the remakes if they bring back Dollar Night. But do 15-to-24-year-olds even know Michael Myers?

  • scoob

    Im fed up of the remakes being made but being a massive Halloween fan, would welcome part 9.

  • http://www.futonreport.net/ Matthew T. Sussman

    Super Bowl XL

  • Bliffle

    Stop viewing Hollywood movies. Rent something interesting, like Kurasawas “Dreams”.

  • http://trishwilson.typepad.com/blog The Countess (Trish Wilson)

    Baronius, I think Hollywood is trying to attract older people like us back to the movies with these remakes of older films. The films I listed are only a few of the many on the list I linked to. I also agree with you that I don’t think it’s going to work.

    Bliffle, I’ve seen Kurasawa’s “Dreams”. Excellent movie.

  • http://draven99.blogspot.com Chris Beaumont

    Seems to be some confusion between remakes and sequels, you mention bot, but claim the list is remakes, of which most are not. What gives?

    I personally don’t have a problem with remakes/sequels. There is nothing inherently wrong with them, the problem lies with studios that see themn as a cash cow rather than with the creative teams which are more often than not handcuffed and cannot deliver an interesting story on an existing premise.

  • JR

    What’s remarkable is the audacity of the remakes. I can’t believe they’re attempting The Pink Panther; they’d stand a better chance of successfully remaking Gone With the Wind. Makes me wonder if this isn’t some Andy Kauffmanesque stunt by Steve Martin – the “humor” is in the idea that someone would be stupid enough to try to fill Peter Sellar’s shoes.

  • http://draven99.blogspot.com Chris Beaumont

    I had read somewhere that Martin didn’t want this released, Pink Panther has been sitting on the shelf for the better part of 2 years, this had originally been slated for release last February, I believe, befoire it got pulled and rescheduled.

  • Bliffle

    Trish:

    Few will bother to see “Dreams”, especially in the US. Although it was made 15 years ago. And those few who see it will say: “what kind of movie is this? It’s not like other movies”. And then, perhaps, they will complain about hollywood remakes.

    I can name any number of good films that will cure one of hollywood ennui, but they require giving a little and allowing the movie to tell it’s story, so I fear that few will see them.

  • Nancy

    Personally, I hope these ‘remakes’ are such crashing failures that they bankrupt the studios or at least make it a permanant deterrant against ever doing remakes of any kind again.

    Considering what current Hollywood thinks is attractive to the public, I would say Hollywood’s biggest problem is that it seems to be inhabited by male persons whose mental maturity stopped somewhere around the age of 12 or so. Consider: they think all women should be sexy & jiggly, clad in ridiculously scanty outfits (preferably with 6-inch spike heels) and lips so inflated as to look painful; they think the bigger, longer, louder, and more destructive the explosion/crash/general mayhem onscreen, the better. Ditto for weapons. Ditto for gore. Dotto for gutter language. Ditto for Bad Attitude.

    Now, if Hollywood execs are simply churning out all this crap because they think that’s what the public wants – Spiderman XXII or Rocky XIV – in a desperate bid to drag in money-paying patrons, one could also ask what they have to lose by sticking their necks out and investing in more original materials that may be out there? Certainly not much, if the shrinking viewer base data is anything to contemplate.

    Of course, there is also the consideration that very few people of any taste want to spend $40+ dollars (or more, if a sitter is involved) to go to a movie theatre these days to see a freakin’ REMAKE, for chris’sakes.

    All of which argues that slowly but inexorably, Hollywood is going to die out of its own inability to connect with the Real World, since they cannot seem to fathom why $40+ pricing would bother anybody, why endless loud explosions & Angelina Jolie’s lips & bosom don’t fascinate everybody, or that a remake of a remake of a remake wouldn’t be a natural crowd pleaser.

  • Ty

    Trish: F*** Hollywood. It stinks.

    You want good original movies? Rent (if you haven’t already):

    MEMENTO
    OLDBOY
    CLERKS
    REQUIEM FOR A DREAM
    PI

    etc, etc, etc.