I always thought that when we split up that I would get over him in a few months. God, I was so wrong. What do I mean by getting over him? It is a pretty generic term to be honest, but what I mean by it is I would be able to listen to certain songs and not think of him, not yearn for his touch, not get my hopes up that whenever someone texts me, I hope it is him, to mention but a few.
Some of those things I have managed to accomplish, but I still think of him every day. I still listen to certain songs that he showed me, and think back to when he used to sing them to me, which I suppose does not really help me. But I want to listen to them; I want to remember him; I treasure memories that I have with him, and I love replaying them in my mind because they make me smile. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to this situation.
I keep the rose he gave me by my bed. He may have given it to me over two years ago, and it may have withered and dried up, but it is still there.
The love between us may have withered away, but in a painful way, it is still there, and I have faced the fact I won’t get over him. But in a strange way I want it to stay that way.
It does make it harder though when we meet up as friends and he plays his guitar and sings to me, and someone comes up to me and says, “I wish my boyfriend did that.”
When that happened I didn’t know what to say. So I just nodded and smiled. But inside I was saying I wish he was still my boyfriend.