Oy, what’s going on here? It appears that when the beloved little blue frog jumped the Big Pond, a little blue bit fell off ! Stunned by this revelation, I decided to take it upon myself to search the web for the poor little guy’s appendage….
My quest began with a visit to Amazon.com…Nope, it was definitely missing. CD Universe hadn’t seen it, nor had Wal-Mart. Wondering where to go next, I decided to back track to where I’d last seen him with it, CF’s bachelor lily pad over at Jamster. Low and behold, there the little rascal was, in all it’s glory, riding a rocket. Mystery solved…Or was it?
With a track off of CF’s new album, “Whoomp! (There It Is)” dancing in my head, a crazy doubt plagued my mind…Was this innocuous little glob of pixels in fact “innocently” misplaced? Or was this the handiwork of evil forces lurking behind the scenes!? I shuddered to think, but the evidence seemed over whelming…Now the question was, “Why!?”
I pondered this conundrum for minutes…maybe less, stringing together the clues. Amazon.com, no Widget…Amazon UK, little Lump O’ Luv in plain view! Could the Frog Prince of Pop have been forced to sell his tad of a pole to the devil in order to make a splash in the American market place!? No. Couldn’t be… I mean, we don’t go lobbing off Fluffy or Rover’s obvious masculinity before welcoming them into the family! When potty training little Johnny, do we instruct him to “Aim, but DON’T LOOK!”!? Certainly not!
Penises have always played a vital role in the North American society. Males are typically given one each to do with as they see fit, with most testing the “fit” as often as is possible. These treasured little creatures are lovingly doted on, and prized by men above any of their other body parts. Generally speaking, penises are loyal and obedient partners. Although they have, on occasion, been known to suffer from sudden fits of stupidity and stubbornness, if treated early, both man and member can enjoy a long and productive relationship.
Why on earth the powers that be would insist on snubbing the nub, is beyond comprehension…After all, God created penises! If he/she didn’t want us to acknowledge them, surely he would have tucked them away in some inconspicuous spot, rather that placing them front row center! Come on all you American men, it’s time to stand up and yell “I have a penis, and I LIKE IT!!”
I first wrote about The Annoying Thing way back in February, when he was nothing more than an a minor annoyance to UK television audiences. Since then, he has become THE top selling ring tone worldwide, and has recorded three singles, one of which, “Axel F”, reached #1 on the UK Singles Chart, topping Coldplay 3-1 in record sales. Believe it or not, the album ranks #6 on The World Singles charts.
With stars in his eyes, he leapt to the silver screen with his own music video, “Axel F” , and on July 25,05, released his first album. Unbelievably, the album, Crazy Frog Presents Crazy Hits now sits at #7 on the European Album Charts. Adding to his the list of accomplishments, come November, the inevitable…. Crazy Frog Racer , for Playstation.
Will Crazy Frog ever shun American “propriety”, and $, and don his little buddy again? Perhaps all he needs is a little incentive….