"Blogger-Man, Blogger-Man. Does whatever a blogger can! Wealth and fame, he's ignored. Action is his reward. Watch out! Here comes The Blogger-Man!"
How do you top a weekend in Cleveland where the Browns selected Brady Quinn and Joe Thomas (with their best NFL draft in decades), Grady Sizemore and the Cleveland Indians are back on track (and in first place in the American League Central), and LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers swept away the Washington Wizards (4-0) in the first round of the NBA playoffs?
Simple. You grab your place in line at the local Cineplex and await the most highly-anticipated release of this summer’s biggest blockbuster, Spider-Man 3, on May 4.
And, if you are a native of Cleveland, you may even get a quick glimpse of the Rock 'n' Roll city (in a supporting role) when Spidey is swinging through the town or battling Sandman (Thomas Haden Church) and Venom (Topher Grace) in "New York City."
Cosmo Kramer to Woody Allen: "These pretzels are making me thirsty!"
So, this time last year, I was in downtown Cleveland for the filming of Spider-Man 3. Maybe you will see me, Your Friendly Neighborhood Blogger-Man, as an extra when the flick hits theaters this Friday.
I played STUNNED PEDESTRIAN #647.
Of course, being in the background, I didn't have any lines – but I put several street mimes to shame by mouthing my utter shock, dismay, and horror that would have made James Lipton coo with ass-kissing envy!
I even rode one of those new green trolleys around the campus of my old alma matter, Cleveland State University, to Euclid Avenue where the movie was filming. There were several gawkers hanging around down by Playhouse Square when I arrived. Unfortunately, it seems none of them were there waiting for me (I asked).
But that's okay! Spider-Man 3, an actual big-budget Hollywood movie, was shooting here in my hometown of Cleveland – and I got to be a part of it (you know, enthusiastically, from the curb).
Sure, I didn't get to fight the “new and improved” Green Goblin (James Franco) or the Sandman. Heck, I didn't even get into a drunken bar brawl with Tobey Maguire down at The Warehouse District. But that's okay, too. The last thing I need is film footage of me slurring, "Hey, Seabiscuit… I'm gonna KICK YOUR ASS!" on Inside Edition.
Dare I say it? Is it too early to be talking about Oscar buzz in regards to Your Friendly Neighborhood Blogger-Man? Do they give Academy Awards for nonsensical nobodies lost in a crowd of Clevelanders standing off to the side as "The Manhattan Safe Co." armored car roars by and smashes into a Subaru hanging from a crane?
Nah, probably not. Stupid Hollywood politics!
Legendary film critic Roger Ebert once proclaimed that Spider-Man 2 was "the best superhero movie of all time!" Then why not make it a tradition and bring some of the production crew back from S-M 3 to Cleveland and film the backdrop for Spider-Man 4 in "the best location in the nation."
Wouldn't it be great to see Sir Ben Kingsley as The Vulture soaring above the skies of downtown Cleveland – or Dennis Kucinich as Electro hijacking the old Muny Light Company – in pre-production scenes filmed this time next year?
Regardless, Spider-Man 3 has put the city of Cleveland in the Hollywood sandbox – even if it's for a scant few seconds up on the silver screen in the Marvel movie universe.