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Here Come The Brides

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So I’m watching gay people run off to San Francisco to get married even though the union likely will never be recognized legally. Rosie did it. Why can’t I? Anything at this point to piss off the President and his morality police.

Conservative, religious, straight people are in foaming hysteria over the prospect of gay marriage. You’d think The Passion would keep them busy enough. But nooo, there’s still plenty of time to turn hater on the queers. After all, it’s Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve, right? And, lets face it, with a more than 50% failure rate among straight marriages, they’ve made a real success of the institution they are trying so dilligently to prop-up…er, I mean protect.

Maybe it’s about being recognized in The Church for some. May I be a traitor to my orientation when I say, “Wake the heck up, it’ll never happen in our lifetimes.” Besides, my own “Church” is more famous now for molesting altar boys than being proponents of the New Testament. I cringe at the thought of the Catholic Church holding open it’s welcoming arms to me and my partner. What could be more phony? I would rather compete on Fear Factor than marry in the Catholic Church, a blessing which would be as hollow as it’s Bishops promises to “do better.” I believe in the separation of church and state. Not only for the protection of the state from interference by the church (hell, the NRA has more influence in our politics than any church), but to protect the assorted churches from undue overlordship by politicians. And, what the hey, right now we have a President who is telling EVERYBODY what to do; churches, states, foreign countries, martians-well, maybe not martians but you never know, it’s not the sort of thing one discusses in the oval office, you know. So don’t worry about ME asking the pope’s blessing. I’m a realist, not a masochist.

What this really is about, politically speaking, is the denial of rights. Apparently there aren’t enough to go around anymore. The only possible objection by the President to civil unions is pressure from the conservative right. You know, the conservative agenda (they have one, you know). Well, let me fill you in, conservative right, you have a President who is willing to guarantee you one in ten (the usual gay-to-straight ratio) taxpayers remains a single filer. Neat, huh? Send jobs overseas, allow corporations to move their main mailboxes offshore and avoid paying their fair share of taxes, keep importing cheap goods made by third-world slaves, keep paving over and polluting from sea to shining sea: we’ll still be here paying ALL our taxes and wishing and hoping for a change in the weather. We won’t get inheritance rights, we won’t have right to hospital visitation, we won’t be allowed to adopt, we won’t be able to enter into relationships with the assurrance that we’ll get even our own back should that partner quit or die, we won’t be able to do anything except live in sin (love that phrase). I reckon that’s how you want sinners to live, huh?

Wanna hear something even more subversive? This is so censor-worthy, apparently, that Dateline doesn’t mention it on it’s webpages. But they did a story on it Sunday night, about how you can be the same sex and be married legally. First you take one happily married couple, then add the husband who figures out when he’s 52 years old that he wants to be a woman. Use that woman, his wife, to support, tend, and care for him as he undergoes his “transformation.” Expect that she will stand by him every step of the way until his “transformation” is complete. Then become a lesbian. For him. Er, her. Because he’s still madly in love. Uh, she’s still madly in love. (This is as screwed up as the “lesbian identified male” on The L Word).

Viola. Same sex marriage. Born of straight marriage. Good-bye “traditional family values,” hello heebie-jeebies.

And you thought this was going to be a review…

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About Sandra Novak

  • Bee

    I believe God will forgive you for trying to bait the author. He/she apparently has more manners than to enter into a hate debate.

  • mike

    It’s important that religious people speak out against gay marriage. Because, as we all know, gay people are not religious. Every single one of them is an atheist.

  • Roger

    (“You”) think you’re smart! I’ve got your number… E-mail me. I’d like to chat with you further. You raise very interesting topics.

  • Ah, comments are ‘on’ now.

    I have given some thought to viewpoints like yours after reading this week’s cover story at Willamette Week, Sandra. It chronicles the controversial gay marriage movement here in Portland. (I have an entry at Blogcritics on the legal aspects that should pop up in Et Cetera sometime today.) Not every gay is gung-ho about getting married. I think people needed to be reminded of that because we tend to simplify things too much. In fact, there will likely be rashes of breakups in Mass., San Fran and Puddletown, as gay couples realize only one of them want to make it permanent. Comes with the territory.

  • Eric Olsen

    I agree with you and certainly understand your concerns and cynicism. I do think that there will be some kind of “civil union” compromise that will confer civil rights upon gay couples. Thanks!