We in the D.C. area just go treated to another tiresome rolling Geritol commercial. Thousands of RUBs [Rich Urban Bikers] came to the area on their Harley Davidson motorcycles, polluting the area with the sounds of troubled G.I. tracts.
Here’s why I hate Harleys and the dweebs who ride them:
1. For encouraging dentists to wear leather.
2. For giving away a case of DentuCreme with every new hog.
3. For disenfranchising real tough guys. The true scum and lowlifes that made Harley fearsome either can’t afford them or are ashamed to ride them. [Maybe they can become part of a protected class.]
4. For their thumping pipes, which serve no function, except to disrupt the peace.
5. For riding two abreast, because they have no balls.
6. For diluting an authentic piece of Americana.
7. For the fat asses I see spilling over the ever wider seats.
8. For the stupid looks on their faces when they drive down the street. Look at me, I’m cool!
9. For their endless, and now meaningless, displays of flag waving patriotism. It is a soulless piece of the branding effort.
10. For how shiny and endlessly chromed out their their bikes are — another sign they are just part of a laundry list of toys — and not an intrinsic part of their lifestyle.
11. For the wimps from Ohio and North Carolina who drive them here on trailers — pulled behind minivans!
Harley has become a joke.