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GTA: San Andreas – Want some coffee?

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By now I am sure that every Grand Theft Auto fan, or any person who has a TV, knows about “Hot Coffee”. If you don’t, you’re a moron. Just joking. Some would say, “She’s fourteen! She shouldn’t know about this type of stuff!” Adults need to learn, we pretty much get the sex talk at the age of ten from the TV. And it comes out better that way too. For those who don’t know about “Hot Coffee”, I can proudly tell you ALL about it. I have been following this damn thing since it was first a rumor and I’m proud to say it.

The “Hot Coffee” scandal is a hidden mini game that was put behind “walls” in the GTA: San Andreas coding. Why, you ask? Simple. It’s a sex mini-game. Many of you are gasping at this, but what do you expect from Rockstar? A mini-game where you capture monkeys with a little pink net? I don’t think so. That’s more of a Metal Gear 3 type of thing. G4TV was one of the first networks to actually go and seek the mini-game, and they actually found it. Believe me, they show the clip all the time. Now this isn’t the God of War type of Sex. It shows ALL, or whatever is behind the little black bar on TV. The mini-game is activated by getting a specific mod and tweaking a few things in the code. It can be accessed by taking your girlfriend back to the house, where she invites you in for hot coffee. After this, I couldn’t stop snickering everytime I hear someone say coffee. When she invites you in, well, it involves oral sex and synchronized button pushing.

Enough said on that. Why do I bring up this horrible moment in gaming? Why oh why? Stop whining, for god’s sake, you moron. Sorry, had a moment. I’m a gamer and future game designer, and when something like this gets challenged by Hillary Clinton and politicians, you get worried. The damage it could do to future games could be massive, even forcing developers to cut down on violence and everything that causes a game to be rated Mature. Another thing: some old lady is suing because of this. She states that she had no clue what was in the game when she bought it for her grandson and is outraged that there is a sex mini-game in this! Apparently, prostitutes and shooting cops doesn’t bother her. Fun grandma.

This whole conflict is a product of a whole bunch of small things adding up to this massive problem. First off, the parents are partially to blame. They say that games like this are allowing children to access pornography, but there are two things wrong with that. One, if that were true, then it would be an Adult Only game or Mature. Two, if the parents are going to buy these Mature games for their kids, they need to know what’s in them.

It’s a parent’s obligation to know what’s in their kids’ games and know when NOT to buy them. Another problem is that these politicians are getting angry at these developers for having this game in the coding, but it was cut. It was placed behind a wall so NO ONE was to get a hold of it. So the public shouldn’t be even accessing this, much less getting into the coding of the game.

Though we can’t know the outcome of what will happen to games, continue to fight for them! If politicians try to take games down, like Bush was rumored to want to destroy anime, then I suggest molotovs and Desert Eagles. Though swords do work nicely.

Ed/Pub:LM

About Queen

  • http://www.breakingwindows.com Matt Paprocki

    There is no nudity in the sex scene, just in case people were wonderig. It’s hysterically funny is what it is.

    This months Economist has one of the best articles on the entire “attack” from a major press source since, well, ever. I highly recommend picking it up. It brings up the age gap brilliantly.

  • Dave M.

    What’s really amusing is that The Sims 2 (after being modded) is *WAY* more explicit in what is shown, nudity wise, than GTA:SA ever was. It can also be violent with the player locking a sim character in a room to watch it die, drowning a sim char in a pool, etc…

    I suppose we should be happy that this didn’t happen last year or in 2008 when the presidential elections are in full swing. Then we really would never hear the end of it. Sheesh!

  • http://www.zonik.net/zonikblog/ Capn Ken

    Parents are “partially” to blame? Stop cutting parents slack when they allow their children to play a game clearly labeled as one for Mature audiences, only. I believe the number 17 (as in age) is on that rating.

    And, by the way, isn’t it a little odd that all the fuss has come up about a barbie-anatomy sex scene when the game – by design – makes it really, really fun to run around shooting people in the face with a shotgun?

    Parents should get a grip.

    1) Don’t freak out about “sex”
    2) Don’t let your kids play games marked “Mature” if they aren’t 17.

  • sean

    it makes me sick that people like mrs clinton and others are makeing noise over the sex and violence in games when all this is free on tv for the kids to watch the news is worse than any game.this is america,i should have the right to buy any game let the parents and grandparents be held responable for there kids.they ever hear of reading about the game before the buy.lay off our games,she talks about violence what about all the inocent people that die in wars must not be more important things for her to do like homeless people and other really important things go hillary

  • http://queens-aces.blogspot.com/ QueenAS

    I agree. They make the rating system for a reason, not just to make the politicians happy. It’s so that parents know what’s in their kids’ games. If it’s rated Mature then obviously there is something in the game that isn’t exactly nice. Sure you can lure hookers into the car then kill them. If you want you’re kid doing that then be my guest and buy the damn game for them! But don’t be surprised when you see that the designers had blocked out a sex mini game.

    (Keywords: BLOCKED. Meaning: NOT MEANT FOR PUBLIC EYE)

  • 54m0

    why does hillary freak out about this??
    I mean, even tv commercials show more explicit stuff than this game.

    BTW, why don’t put up a screenshot of it so that people can see that it’s not that bad…

  • http://queens-aces.blogspot.com/ QueenAS

    I would put a screenshot, but some people might find it offensive (you never know with these people) and I’m trying to stay on the editor’s good list. But if you go to gtasandandreas.com and click on screenshots on the side bar, it should be one of the shots on the first page.

    Another thing I would like to note. For anyone that has watched the Sex in Game: G4tv Insider report, you will see that there are obviously much more visual and horrible games. Like that one where you’re the cowboy and you have to dodge arrows to have sex with the Native American chick. And though they were just tiny pink blobs, it showed a lot more of the guy then anyone would want to see.

  • jerry

    whats the code for the mod

  • QueenAS

    Uh, no.

  • Liberal Disinfectant

    Look, if parents are as described, buying adults games for kids and THEN complaining that their kids are able to access sex and voilence..well then the adults are to blame.

    If they buy a horror or sex video with “18″ on it, then knowingly give it to kids – don’t blame society. Don’t use the media to create a storm. Just GROW THE FUCK UP.

    These are adult games, designed for adults. So don’t stop adults enjoying them because THEY give them to children, which they are obviously not designed for.

    Give a liberal and inch and they’ll swear they’re being discriminated against by a mile..I don’t see them questioning some of the anti-American sentiment. Wonder why that is.

  • Max

    I think it was a good thing that Rockstar cut this mini-game out of the game so if any kids some how get this game they dont play this mini-game.

  • Max

    if kids get into this mini-game at least they wont see it.

  • http://www.breakingwindows.com Matt Paprocki

    Yes, because if they bought the game, a mini-game that’s a bitch to even see would be far worse than the games other content…

  • josh

    whats the code

  • Dynamo of Eternia

    up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, B, A.

  • whats the code for ps2

    whats the code for ps2

  • http://www.breakingwindows.com Matt Paprocki

    Seriously, if he tried the Konami code to get it, I’m going to drop from laughter.

  • E boy

    Go go virtual boobs

  • dre

    i think that gta is a good game and should be called the ” the brain candy”’ but some parents including mine thinks that it is a bad game and people think’n about banning it c’mon i played grand theft auto it ain’t all that bad

  • trisha jones

    im 11 years old i think san andreas is a nice game so y cant kids play the game to i mean sayin stuff like no she only 10 years old shes not supposed to see fights and hear curse words like dat! relax danm my sister is 9 she plays liberty city stories! i mean yea its rated m but i dont give fuck. us kids play it for fun then the news sayin kids copy off the game no we dont!were juss playin game! so wats wrong wit us pplayin the boring rated e games and yall wit da rated m games we juss think its more but yall wouldnt understand! im playin san andreas right now ok and my mom said its ok so shut up wit dat too young crap! bye!~ sincerly trisha lee jones~