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Grounded ’til the End of the World

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My daughter passed by my office this morning and said this:

“The world is going to end in two days.”

She then kept walking. She is 6. That’s just about the age of those freaky kids in all those horror movies. Redrum and shit like that. So I think I am taking her seriously. I am off to throw down all my savings on the Patriots and the Over.

She is lucky that she told me this when she is 6. You see if she was a teenager I would have all but ignored her.

Age Six = Terror. Teenager = Moron.

I have proof to back me up on this one… and it’s not just the fact that I was once a teenager with a smart-ass attitude and a total disrespect for anything with a vowel.

In a recent survey of high school students, something like 36% said that a newspaper should get government approval before publishing any article.

Um, hello? It looks like some of our children are being “left behind” if you know what I mean. (Of course, who is the super-genius who decided to fund a survey of high school students? I didn’t say or do anything that mattered back then… well except pop zits onto the mirror. That was cool, dude.)

Let me be the Wise Adult here for a moment. Let me put this in words you little Abercrombie & Bitch wearers can wrap your iPods around. How about MTV Cribs has to get government approval before they show you where Kanye West gets his swerve on? How about Big Boi has to get approval for his lyrics or would have to learn to spell his own name? (See. I am not out of touch here… I am slinging the cultural hash like Vic Tayback back from the grave… okay, maybe not.)

Never mind the fact that as goes the freedoms of the press so go your freedoms to speech. Never mind that at all. You are grounded. You are not voting until you are 25. You are not driving until you are 30… and you certainly aren’t drinking until you can be a bitter 38-year old like myself. Now go to your room and blog about your depression while listening to Marilyn Manson….

*originally posted today at brianlewandowski.com

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About Brian Lewandowski

  • http://iamrighturpie.blogspot.com/ jadester

    nicely put. Unfortunately, i suspect there are quite a few teenagers here in England who should be told something similar.

  • http://emeraldcitycomments.blogspot.com/ Roy Smith

    Does anybody know if they analyzed any of this data by state, or political leanings, or any other subdivision? If they did, and there is variation between groups, that could make for interesting discussion.

  • http://www.brianlewandowski.com Brian

    Well I couldn’t find anything by state but here is the website for the survey:

    http://firstamendment.jideas.org/index.html

  • http://www.templestark.com Temple Stark

    That survey WAS crazy and scary. But there area lot of adults who believe – who want to believe that as well.

    I wonder what the survey would have yielded 30 years ago?

  • http://emeraldcitycomments.blogspot.com/ Roy Smith

    From an email I received from David Yalof, one of the researchers at the University of Connecticut who was involved in the survey:

    The finidngs that were publicized this past week represent only a first cut at the data. In future roll-outs (approximately one every couple of months) we will analyze the data by race, gender, GPA (self-reported by the student), and geographic region (northeast, south.etc.)

    It will be interesting to see these results.

  • http://www.diablog.us Dave Nalle

    Welcome to the new generation your government schools have created for you. The mindless armies of loyal statists.

    Dave

  • http://www.antequeravillarental.com alienboy

    One of the roles of a good government is to protect the people from their own worst impulses, you know, checks and balances…

    there are good reasons children don’t vote!