My daughter passed by my office this morning and said this:
“The world is going to end in two days.”
She then kept walking. She is 6. That’s just about the age of those freaky kids in all those horror movies. Redrum and shit like that. So I think I am taking her seriously. I am off to throw down all my savings on the Patriots and the Over.
She is lucky that she told me this when she is 6. You see if she was a teenager I would have all but ignored her.
Age Six = Terror. Teenager = Moron.
I have proof to back me up on this one… and it’s not just the fact that I was once a teenager with a smart-ass attitude and a total disrespect for anything with a vowel.
In a recent survey of high school students, something like 36% said that a newspaper should get government approval before publishing any article.
Um, hello? It looks like some of our children are being “left behind” if you know what I mean. (Of course, who is the super-genius who decided to fund a survey of high school students? I didn’t say or do anything that mattered back then… well except pop zits onto the mirror. That was cool, dude.)
Let me be the Wise Adult here for a moment. Let me put this in words you little Abercrombie & Bitch wearers can wrap your iPods around. How about MTV Cribs has to get government approval before they show you where Kanye West gets his swerve on? How about Big Boi has to get approval for his lyrics or would have to learn to spell his own name? (See. I am not out of touch here… I am slinging the cultural hash like Vic Tayback back from the grave… okay, maybe not.)
Never mind the fact that as goes the freedoms of the press so go your freedoms to speech. Never mind that at all. You are grounded. You are not voting until you are 25. You are not driving until you are 30… and you certainly aren’t drinking until you can be a bitter 38-year old like myself. Now go to your room and blog about your depression while listening to Marilyn Manson….
*originally posted today at brianlewandowski.com