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Gossip Girl Gossip

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C’mon who out there was really dying for another 90210/OC rehash? ME, of course!

I love this stuff. Anything that involves teens in love and I’m there, whether it be John Hughes, something with Julia Stiles, and especially if it has Christian Slater in it.

This is what I love to watch on TV, even if it isn’t as well written as Gilmore Girls.

It’s probably because I was basically Seth from the OC, except a tough guy from Chino never moved into my parents' house, became my best friend, and helped me sleep with the girl that I was in love with who wouldn’t give me the time of day. These shows are like Fantansyland for me.

Now, remember all those cocaine-fueled sex parties that the OC teased us with? This show is looking like it’s planning on actually delivering. The OC sort of had Ryan and Seth kidnap the skanky girls from the jet set crowd and try to redeem them. Thankfully, I don’t think that’s going to happen here.

Let’s look at the players.

The Heathers

Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester): She’s basically Brenda from 90210. She’s a nice girl, who’s starting to go bad.

Serena van der Woodsen (Blake Lively): Kelly from 90210 and the bad girl trying to become good. Serena and Blair used to be best friends, until Serena’s drinking problem led her to have sex at a wedding with Nate Archibald (Chace Crawford), who Blair has dated since kindergarten. Guilty, Serena left school mysteriously and spent a year at a boarding school. She has now returned to the old neighborhood to be nearer to her brother, Eric (Connor Paolo), who appears to be the most well adjusted recent suicide attempt ever.

Nate Archibald? The ex-Boston Celtic?

Nate has obviously always been in love with Serena. We know this because Blair was in the process of finally giving her virginity to Nate at a party. The second Nate hears Serena’s name, he hops off of Blair and runs to greet her! That’s actually not as bad as it seems, since Blair was probably only giving up her virginity to Nate in response to Serena’s return anyway!

The show doesn’t seem to have a Dylan, but it does have a Chuck! Huge points for Ed Westwick who does his best to evoke the glory days of James Spader as Steff in Pretty in Pink! In the pilot alone, Chuck smokes weed, drinks champagne, and pushes himself on Serena while blackmailing her with his knowledge of the drunken roll with Nate. Not feeling good enough about that he tries to rape the most innocent girl on the show.

The Nice Kids

Jenny Humphrey (Taylor Momsen), is the sweet daughter of a has-been rock star, Rufus Humphrey (Matthew Settle), who still plays gigs and owns an art gallery. Jenny is dying to become a Heather, and almost does when Chuck tries to rape her.

Her brother Dan (Penn Badgley) has the greatest pilot episode for a nervous semi-geek ever! He accidentally winds up on a date with Serena, who he too has always been in love, and then gets to impress her by stopping a rape and beating up Chuck, who’s always treated him and Serena like dirt! Nice job Dan, it can only go downhill from here.

The Parents

Rufus’ wife has left him, and it turns out that during his rock days he used to sleep with Serena’s mother Lily (Kelly Rutherford)! Hey, that’s Megan! The hooker from Melrose Place who married Michael! She’s still looking pretty good.

Lily is not a good person. She’s ashamed of her son’s suicide attempt and will apparently sleep with anyone who has a ton of money, which seems to be almost everyone on this show. She also still wants to sleep with Rufus. Rufus is mad because she broke his heart by sleeping with Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails, and I'm not even kidding.

Oh, and some guy plays Nate’s father, who begs Nate to stay together with Blair so a business deal can go through. What a guy!

The Gimmick

The worst part of the show so far. Apparently, someone runs a TMZ for this high school, and everyone is obsessed with their secret identity, and how they know everything the second it happens. Well, everyone apparently, but me. There are many points where it seems like they are giving away the identity of the Gossip Girl, but they are, of course, red herrings, especially the one that makes you think that it’s Jenny, when actually she’s texting her brother that she’s being raped. Hold on tight, it’s that kind of a show!

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