Oh no. Global warming’s on the move again.
You heard me right. Our president told us so today. When he was asked about NYC Mayor Michael “Nanny” Bloomberg’s belief that Obama would do more to fight global warming, Obama made it clear he’d hold up his end of that bargain. In fact, he went so far as to say that temperatures are rising even faster than predicted just ten years ago. Here’s what he said, verbatim:
I am a firm believer that climate change is real, that it is impacted by human behavior and carbon emissions. You know, as you know, Mark, we can’t attribute any particular weather event to climate change. What we do know is the temperature around the globe is increasing faster than was predicted even 10 years ago. We do know that the Arctic ice cap is melting faster than was predicted even five years ago. We do know that there have been extraordinarily — there have been an extraordinarily large number of severe weather events here in North America, but also around the globe. And I am a firm believer that climate change is real, that it is impacted by human behavior and carbon emissions. And as a consequence, I think we’ve got an obligation to future generations to do something about it.
Forget the study that showed how global temperatures stopped rising 16 years ago. If you live near a coast, I hope you have a go bag ready. I hope you’re not shrugging this off, because this could be very serious indeed.
While the rest of us busy ourselves by purchasing durable bicycles, protesting energy exploration in North America, and making compost heaps in our backyards with all the stuff we can’t flush down our low-flow toilets, President Obama and his team will be working hard to do their part by making sure none of us are using the wrong light bulbs or flushing too much water.
Most importantly, President Obama and his team of crackerjack government specialists will be making another round of enormous “investments” of taxpayer money into the sort of green technology companies that can play a part in saving the world from this entirely foreseeable, human-caused disaster.
The world needs successful green tech companies, now more than ever. The stimulus-funded green companies from Obama’s first administration will act as a great road map to how to do it. There was only one problem with those state-of-the-art, cutting-edge innovators: they all failed in the free market. Damn that free market. Now we’ll have to do something about that, too.
There’s obviously a lot of work to be done here, so I guess we should split the labor. I’ll work on using your tax dollars manipulating and rigging the markets, while you go work in the compost heap.