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General Hospital‘s Uninspired Formula for Romance: Like Paired With Like

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For a show with an appalling lack of diversity, where the mob dominates, law enforcement seldom wins, and the good guys always finish last, General Hospital (GH) has added insult to injury with the specter of pairing lovable mob-techie Damien Spinelli (Bradford Anderson) and FBI rookie Winifred Leeds (Senta Moses). With a stunning lack of sensitivity, GH seems poised to take their dearth of diversity one step further, by callously demonstrating geeks should only be with other geeks, certainly not romantically paired with the hot, beautiful people.

The shallow message was already coming through loud and clear, but for any who might have been slow on the uptake, GH is reinforcing it with fashion icon Kate Howard’s (Megan Ward) insistence her magazine Crimson is pimped by soap hunk Johnny Zacchara, (Brandon Barash), escorting the lovely Maxie Jones, (Kirsten Storms) to high-profile public events. Never mind Maxie begging Kate to let her represent Crimson with Maxie’s escort of choice, “geek-chic” Spinelli, we get it GH; Spinelli, though gentle, kind-hearted, sensitive, thoughtful, and brilliant, is just not hot enough or handsome enough to be with the magnificent Maxie. Here’s a thought — let hot mob prince Johnny get to know geeky FBI Agent Winifred, fall in love, and renounce his mob ties.

Thank you GH for not leaving Spinelli out in the cold like last time his heart was broken. It has been almost two years since Spinelli’s first crush, the beautiful “Blonde One,” Lulu Spencer (Julie Marie Berman), left Spinelli crying in the rain as she chose the hot, gorgeous Logan Hayes (Josh Duhon), who cheated on her, abused her, and eventually tried to kill her. Spinelli’s fans were rightfully outraged when Lulu chose Logan over Spinelli. GH has already had the obligatory Maxie and Johnny trapped together, drinking beer, and sucking face scene to demonstrate their “hot physical attraction” to each other. So, this time as Spinelli loses his Maximista to the next hot, dangerous guy, GH seeks to avoid similar fan disapproval by providing Spinelli with someone “in his league,” a more “appropriate pairing,” a geek female counterpart who is an utterly ridiculous, mocking clone of Spinelli, himself with no personality whatsoever of her own.

There is no need to rub salt in the wound. Fans of a Spinelli and Maxie romance have watched for a year as a healthy, respectful, trusting relationship complete with unconditional love developed between two of the most misunderstood, wounded characters on daytime. We have watched as these erstwhile enemies saw beyond surface appearances and began to see each other’s hearts, their fears and their dreams. We watched as these tentative friends drew closer and closer. We believed opposites could attract, and we believed nice guys could finish first. We even believed real love could start with friendship. We waited for our “wonderful surprise,” our fantasy romance, our love in the afternoon, but it never came.

In its place comes this reprehensible message from GH to its viewers: Spinelli may deserve love, but not from a hottie like Maxie; he needs someone on his level, “in his league,” someone like Winifred to make it believable. Winifred walks like Spinelli, talks like Spinelli, dresses like Spinelli, and even thinks and reacts like Spinelli; it is positively ludicrous. The character Winifred as currently written demonstrates nothing but contempt for the wonderful Spinelli character Bradford Anderson has painstakingly woven for the past two years. GH head writer Bob Guza calls it “a hoot,” but there is nothing funny about creative bankruptcy and this travesty.

Now we watch helplessly as GH slowly unravels what could have been the healthiest, most functional, respectful young couple on daytime in favor of the trite and obvious pairing of gorgeous girl with hot guy, and geek paired with geek. General Hospital, when you never fail to drop the ball, don’t bother wringing your hands as ratings plummet. Thank you GH for once again taking the easy way out, refusing to take a chance, and most importantly, thank you for so starkly reminding us, regardless of inner strength and inner beauty, it is the outward, matching levels of physical beauty and “hotness” that provide the most important ingredient in your love stories. In short, thanks for slapping the joy and romance out of Spixie, the best young love story in years, and stalling their story to the point where few even care anymore. It is astounding there are any advertisers or sponsors left who want to be associated with GH’s degrading, insulting philosophy that like should only be paired with like.

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  • http://www.butterflyfiction.com/journal/ Connie Phillips

    Ugh, I couldn’t have said this better myself.

    Before they began the spin-max pairing, I personally couldn’t stand Maxie.

    But, I have absolutely loved the way they took great care in crafting first their friendship, and then their blooming romance. Personally, I’m still hoping that Win (a character that I find a boring copy-cat of Spin)is just a small aside and that when Spin’s legal woes are over, he and Maxie will pick it all back up.

  • D

    Thank you so much for put it so eloquently I just wish that the studio heads and show producers/writters would take the time to read it and realize that if they want to keep their show they should listen to their fans!

  • Tori

    Wow. I’m sorry but I stopped watching GH daily about seven years ago.

    Yeah I’d tune in for the very rare Robin and Jason scenes but if GH wants me back as a full time viewer then they should explore Maxie and Johnny to their fullest.