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Gemini Woman Loves Virgo Man But Feels Unworthy: Astrology-Based Advice

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Dear Elsa,

I have met someone who I have fallen very in love with. It's a love unlike any I've ever felt. As a matter of fact, I feel like the other times I loved someone are kids' games in comparison.

The problem is, he’s a Virgo. He is stable, secure, no-nonsense, responsible, not exactly spontaneous, gentle, caring, loving, and calm. I worry that I'm just too… I don't know. Flighty. Scattered. Messed up by the past (as I was abused and raped multiple times during my life).

I have no confidence in my abilities to even keep someone as good as he is. I feel I'm just too messed up and not good enough for someone like him. Hell, even at the old age of nearly 39, I don't even have a damned driver's license, because I've allowed others to tear down my self-confidence my entire life.

However since he's come into the picture, everything has just… started fitting together somehow. I've started gaining some of the confidence to do what I need, and look past my utter fears of failure. And he has been instrumental in that. He tells me he wants me to be, and I quote, '"a strong independent woman"'.

Since we've met, I've gotten my driver's permit and am learning to drive. I’ve gotten a real job and started putting my life together. And I very much want him to be part of that life.

But my biggest fears are around our long term compatibility. I'm scatterbrained, unstable, insecure, and an airhead at times. He's down-to-earth, solid, serious, and grounded. I feel I have nothing to offer someone like him and I'll just end up being a disappointment – even though I love him with all of my heart and he loves me, too.

I guess the question is, am I just being stupid here? Am I worrying for nothing by second guessing myself? Is there hope for a steady, solid Virgo with a messed-up Gemini?

Signed,

Uncertain

Dear Uncertain,

Listen. Your man is human and so are you. He is a human Virgo, so he likes to help people and you are graciously allowing him the opportunity to help you. He is not gemini switchcomplaining and why is that? It’s because he needs you as much as you need him. It seems to me that everyone is winning, so this whole thing is looking pretty good from my perspective.

So are you worrying for nothing? Yes, I think you are. And I know the cure. Well, I know of something I read that sure made sense to me. It was in Gavin DeBecker’s book, The Gift Of Fear, and you might want to pick it up because you have something in common with him: trauma.

DeBecker had a traumatic childhood and it taught him a few things. He became sophisticated around “fear”, that’s for sure and besides writing a book (two of them) on the subject, he’s made a career out of this.

But anyway, in his book he distinguishes between ‘fear” and “worry”. He feels that fear is a physiological response to danger that should always be heeded. Worry, however, is bullshit. Worry is what he calls “manufactured fear”… and this is what you are doing.

You are making up things to worry about when none of it is happening and frankly, it probably never will. So here is my advice: get the book… and tell that Virgo man of yours what you are doing (manufacturing fear) and you would like to stop. He will immediately move to help you, because this is in his blood.

Secondly, try a little harder to see him. By that, I mean try to see his humanness… where and how he is frail and vulnerable. Starting with the simple fact, if you leave and he has no one to “help,” he will be absolutely bereft. He needs someone to heal. So I guess you’re pretty crucial after all, huh?

Good luck.

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About Elsa

  • http://csarreis sc

    I know exactly how you feel. I am also a Gemini woman who has loved a Virgo man. He is of course, nearly perfect while I am always needing improvement. After him saying critical things to me I broke up with him. I didn’t realize until later that he was really just offering constructive criticsm and it was my insecurity that was the real problem. That was 3 years ago and I still haven’t been able to find anyone as wonderful as he is. My advise to you: Hold onto your Virgo man. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Some relationships take a bit more work than others and this is one of them. I’m sure the rewards are going to be worth it.

  • Mary

    I’m a Gemini woman, with Virgo rising and moon in Acorpio. I have been romantically involved with a Virgo man, moon in Pisces, Scorpio rising.
    I am 50 yers old and was certain that until I met
    him, I may be alone the rest of my life. He is a wonderful person, caring, sweet to the core and extremely attentive to all the things that make this woman’s heart beat faster. I have always thought that Virgo was not compatible with Gemini,
    but I have been with Leos, Libras and Aquarians, and none of them can compare to him. Theres much more to this then just the sun signs. My mars is in pisces, venus in cancer, and his venus is in virgo and mars in cancer. I’s say look further at the entire chart. meanwhile to all my sister gems who love a virgo…..count your blessings!

    Peace,
    Gemini

  • http://Geminigurl Gemini gurl

    i am a gemini and i was in a wonderful relationsip with a virgo guy. he was amazing but because he moved to work in another place, it was harder for me to hang on so i guess it was an ending…im still not sure…we have been together for 3 years and he was the first man in my life. i wish i knew then what i know now. Now i know that i will never find somebody like him, he treated me so good. I travelled half way around the world and so did he and i recieved 3 messages from him…i guess he didnt move on but i was such a fool that i didnt reply to any of his messages…now im trying to win him again but it will take some time…and for all you geminiZ out there trust me if you know a man loves you so much dont let him go just because he doesnt show his love alot or he doesnt say i love you, maybe he is just afraid of it…like the man i had…but now i would do anything to get him back and i am working on it…now i know him for 5 years and in those five years he asked me out twice and i rejected him!!! however im still not sure if he would accept coming back to me now…

  • Erika

    This artical has really helped me. I am a Gemini woman in love with a Virgo man. Well, sort of, we have been friends for years, we’re not dating, but I have always been in love with him. I heard rumors that he felt the same about me, but I didn’t beieve it because I thought he was too good for me and he would never see me in that way. I heard that Gemini and Virgos don’t get along very well and that they’re a bad match. But this artical has given me the courage to ask him out. Hope it works. Thank you!

  • Gloria

    I also agree with Erika who has found courage from this article and is finally going to ask out her virgo crush. As for me I had my chance and I just blew it I was just being too impatient and started to get attached, something I know virgo men don’t like, but had I known more about my virgo man than I wouldn’t have done half the things like call/text him when I was tipsy, and just bug him with stupid questions which is another thing virgo men dislike…. stupidity. So my question is should I just completely drop it and not try to have something with this virgo man that I’m still deeping crushing? Even though he only sees us as friends how can I change his thinking? Any suggestions?

  • Reticent

    I admire one particular virgo man greatly.I’m glad to have found this page.If I have a virgo male around me I’m sure to check myself.He pulls me in line and this is because I’m actually WILLING to do this for myself AND him ,unlike the resistance I feel toward other signs,If they tried this.They bring out the better side in us.

    I can express my intelligence, instead of saying stupid things to try to be as social as i can to keep from hiding in my head and Being just with the other me.

    If I can just keep one as a friend thats all I need.

  • GemiGirl

    Im crushing on this virgo man @ work. we have been working together 4 2yrs we became close friends. he always flirt with me heavy when he first started workin @ are company but he is in a relationship but he try to with hold his feelings for me i know i like me more than a friend ;)because other people @ work told me but when i confront him he act all silly!?

  • bogees888

    i’m a virgo male who has been crushing on a gemini woman @ work. despite all the stuff i read about gemini & virgo not being compatible i don’t see myself as the protypical virgo. and, in the past i dated a gemini and it was very fulfilling sexually and socially. however, our personalities clashed and at the time she wanted me to only date her exclusively. now, i’ve met this beautiful, well dressed and mature woman and i want her. so, even though i tend to be somewhat shy i’ve asked her to lunch and want to know what do to evolve this into dinner and more.

  • http://takeitorleaveit.typepad.com/ roger nowosielski

    Gemini women are great. I’m a Scorpio, but always loved gemini women. And they me.

    My nemesis though (and the greatest challenge) – a Capricorn woman.

  • PaddyVirgo

    I’m a Virgo man who has recently fallen deeply in love with a Gemini woman. Can I say to you all that the pain and uncertainty that I feel is so worth it. She completes me in so many ways, and I am terrifed that my solidity and my strong passionate feelings for her will frighten her away. Nevertheless the fear is worth it. I would never trade a more conventional relationship for this and my gut instinct is that I have found the love of my life, no matter how life changing and potentially very challenging this is for me.

  • Han

    I am a Virgo man and had a relationship with a Gemini woman. It was the best relationship I have ever had. I loved the way she was. It gave me plenty of time to be me. The sex was the best I ever had. She was beautiful. I was happy that she had so many friends. Maybe I’m not the typical Virgo because the things I read don’t reflect the experience. I have met a Gemini woman now and she knows that I am crazy for her. She is also interested in me. She makes me feel that the world is not as bad as it is. Wow. I guess I’m in love!

  • Radhakrishnan VIRGO

    Yes. What people have said is correct. I am a Virgo male and get hurt inside when somebody doesnt understand my caring and true love towards them. Its difficult for Virgos to find a better match as they dont look for external beauty rather internal mind and trustworthy people. So, dont try to cheat him or lie to him, he will never like you after that. Even if you make mistake, accept, he will not make you feel bad, but teach you how to better, next time. I was also much close to Gemini gal, and really this combination works, if she is down to earth personality, as the virgo is of that sort. If he finds you a trustworthy and lovable he will show you another world of love, which you would not have seen before. He is such a kind, and need not this to be reflected outside, but he is, from inner perspective. Dont lose a Virgo man, you will not find such a companion who understand your needs without you telling what you need. All the best.

  • chicago virgo

    Well bottom line for gemi girls is to know if you can past the fear and worry and if you want the glass slipper”TAKE IT AND WEAR IT AND DON’T LOOK BACK” because that is your fear in the first place.And when you get past that just whistle baby I’ll be there like superman rescues Lois and fly’s away….TAKE THE CHANCE

  • celi

    Im a gemini women that met a new neighbor that is a vergo man,he is very smart and helpful,when ever I need him to help me he dis.Ihave cooked for him and had him over and he has cooked for me,we sometimes hage out on weekend but not alot.Im starting to think that we may never be more then neighbors.the problem is I like him.can any true vergo help me..

  • charmaine true gemini

    i have a virgo man and he is the best ive ever been with, hands down.. we complete each other i see the true beauty of my virgo and i respect him totally sure some of our differences drive each other crazy but the good far out ways the bad whoever said geminis and virgos were incompatible didnt know what they were talking about!!!!!!!!!!

  • markus

    i am a virgo male & i would like to say that relationships with gemini females are absolutely the best, there is the amazing intellectual connection,once that is established, the skies the limit, as long as you give your gemini woman the space to move & express herself & the grounds of mutual trust & respect are in place.i don’t know where all this stuff about virgos/gemini’s not working comes from. probably written by non virgo/gemini’s. so go for it – it’ll be worth it.

  • Lydia

    I am in love with my Virgo best friend. We know each other since school and after so many years and many different experiences, we slowly realize that now is the time to slowly build something. He knows everything for me, and despite the fact I have always been a troublemaker, a scatterbrained, rebel Gemini woman, he accepts me for what I am. He even admires me because he is always so logical and down to earth. I make him feel alive, never bored, and he is my rock, always the sensible one, keeps everything in order. Gives me the safety and stability I desperately need.

    I had many long term relationships as did he, but this is the first time I really feel, no, KNOW, that we will have something really good together. It’s the right time, now that we are full of life.

    He is great. I admire him so much. And he really cherishes me.

  • Ms Gemini

    I am a Gemini woman and recently fell in love with a Virgo man. Just like the previous posts, i too have read many articles how gem and virgo men does not work. I certainly do not and will not believe that. I feel that he would be perfect for me. For my situation I feel that I’ve pushed him away bc of my scatterness and instability.We’ve been friends for 6 years now and just 1 month ago we decided to take things to the next level. Just yest he gave me his tough but helpful criticism about myself and deep down inside, I knew he was just trying to help me. That tough love I need. I love him so much and stupidly called it quits now 3 times bc of my GEM WAYS. I too have that fear and worry which I want to put it aside because I dont want to loose him. I feel that he understands me. I just want to get pass this point bc I see him as MY FUTURE. And he expressed at a point that he sees me as his future-wife,mother of his children.I totally need help with this. I pushed him away so much that I feel his patience will me is gone. I dont want it to be too late.

  • Lady Gemini

    Can someone tell what it means when your virgo says to you that we are now on level 2. He said I was some he cares about and it took he 19 years to say this we are still hanging in there we just got back from a trip and that went some what well. I am trying to understand him but sometimes it is hard he told me to read between the lines
    if someone can help please answer

  • GemladyG

    i’m a Gemlady in love with a Virgo male. He spend every day with each other and not get bored he lets me know when he needs time alone i guess it is for him to re-group. He recentlly saw a different side of me when he walk upmon me arguing with someone this upset him to the point he just wanted to stay away from him this was very upsetting to me and i begin to cry he told me that crying was a sign of weakness and he likes strong women. I told him a cried because of the arguement that was bond to happened becuase of things that were built up inside of me not because im weak. I really dont understand and he probably dont understand me ither. I wish he really did see me that way. I also pray this did not push him away.

  • Virgo man

    I’m a Virgo in love with my gem girl shes so amazing.I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one who has these feelings. I know she cares about me but its like there’s something between us that’s giving me this uncertainty. One minute she telling me she loves me and she never wants to be without me and the next she’s saying that maybe love isn’t enough! What does that mean? It’s driving me crazy wondering what her real intentions are. I could see myself marrying her someday if I can just get past this uncertainty. Can anyone tell me how to get past this? Has anyone had this same uncertainty that I have and got past it?

  • Gemini Lady

    Virgo man above, I am a gem girl, and are in exactly the same circumstances,I have said maybe love isn’t enough to my virgo man, I really really love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him, when we do fall out I do question in my mind if love is enough, but I have recently realised that the problem is my insecurities and my fear of losing him, sounds mad I know, but if your gem woman is anything like me then I feel she maybe just needs reassurance, and maybe one day when you are ready to propose this will help her realise how much she means to you and that no one else will ever come close.. hope things work out for you!!

  • Virgo man

    Thankyou for the response Gemini lady. I do my best to reassure her that I love her despite our differences. our biggest problem is communication. All of,or at least most of our arguments are just a misunderstanding. Im having a hard time getting her to talk to me. How do I do this? She lets things build up to the point where it causes an argument. I’m not the best communicator either. I tell her that if I’m doing something wrong please don’t hesitate to tell me so I can not do that anymore. I want to make her happy is my bottom line. So can anyone tell me how I can get her to open up to me and tell me what’s bothering her? I love her sooo much and I want this to work.

  • Gemini Lady

    Hello again Virgo man, well it certainly appears your doing all the right things, I have recently had a major development where I nearly lost the love of my life (my virgo man) what it has done is made me look in the mirror at how I was handling things, which was to react with emotions rather than thinking first, I am now more control, what has helped me is reading, I bought a couple of books,firstly feel the fear a guide to lasting love by Susan jeffers is the one I am currently reading, which has helped me so much, may I suggest this book to you and you could always buy it and tell her your reading it, she may be tempted to pick it up,you could sit her down and tell her what you have just wrote that you want to make her happy,also that you can’t read her mind, so unless she opens up and tries to discuss things in a calm way then you are unable to help, as we all know as soon as arguments start we become defensive and effective communication goes out of the window,we all have a breaking point and I’m sure neither of you want to get to this point.. hope this helps a little

  • Virgo man

    Thanks again Gemini Lady. I’ll consider doing that. You are being a great help. But I’m starting to think its too late,although I dont want believe it. A couple of weeks ago we decided to be friends. We would still kiss from time to time and hold hands but we saw eachother only a couple times a week. Things were going great,I thought! Then one day I ask her what’s wrong,because I can tell when something isn’t right. She tells me we arnt a “couple”but we still act like it and its smothering her. I don’t understand why she couldn’t just tell me her thoughts before it build up inside her to the point that it’s causes a problem. She tells me she loves me and that I’m a good man. That shes “too comfortable and that she can’t have anything this good.” but she doesn’t want me out of her life.I’m confused! she says she needs more excitement. I try to explain that it’s hard to go do spontaneous things when you have young children to take care of. Let a alone the fact that I’m not a spontaneous person and I need get help to put excitement in my life too. She even tells me my loving txt messages to her nice and loving but they are almost always the same message. I don’t know how many wars I can say i love you, or to have a nice day,or to say I miss you,or to say I can’t wait to see you etc. its like she has this list in her head and if someone doesn’t meet everything on that list, then she’s not happy. Am I missing something? It hurts me to say or think this, but sometimes I wonder if she is too damaged for me to help her. She been physically abused before and has been emotionally abused from a youn age till now. It’s caused her to have extreme addictions. I want to help her but she’s says I’m too preachy for her. I try to explain that I’m not trying to preach. In trying to help and I only do this to people I care about. If I were to leave it alone,that would mean I don’t care….I’m at a loss. Anyway thanks for your help. I was wondering,if you decide to respond to me again,would you mind giving me your age? I’m 27…sorry if I’m being nosey. I’m just curious…hope things are well between you and your man. Just remember, that us virgos may seem cold and tough to the outside world,but on the inside, when it comes to the women we love we are like glass.

  • Virgo man

    Thanks again Gemini Lady. I’ll consider doing that. You are being a great help. But I’m starting to think its too late,although I dont want believe it. A couple of weeks ago we decided to be friends. We would still kiss from time to time and hold hands but we saw eachother only a couple times a week. Things were going great,I thought! Then one day I ask her what’s wrong,because I can tell when something isn’t right. She tells me we arnt a “couple”but we still act like it and its smothering her. I don’t understand why she couldn’t just tell me her thoughts before it built up inside her to the point that it’s causes a problem. She tells me she loves me and that I’m a good man. That shes “too comfortable and that she can’t have anything this good.” but she doesn’t want me out of her life.I’m confused! she says she needs more excitement. I try to explain that it’s hard to go do spontaneous things when you have young children to take care of. Let a alone the fact that I’m not a spontaneous person and I need her help to put excitement in my life too. She even tells me my loving txt messages to her are nice and loving but they are almost always the same message. I don’t know how many ways I can say i love you, or to have a nice day,or to say I miss you,or to say I can’t wait to see you etc. its like she has this list in her head and if someone doesn’t meet everything on that list, then she’s not happy. Am I missing something? It hurts me to say or think this, but sometimes I wonder if she is too damaged for me to help her. Shes been physically abused before and has been emotionally abused from a young age till now. It’s caused her to have extreme addictions. I want to help her but she’s says I’m too preachy for her. I try to explain that I’m not trying to preach. Im trying to help and I only do this to people I care about. If I were to leave it alone,that would mean I don’t care….I’m at a loss. Anyway thanks for your help. I was wondering,if you decide to respond to me again,would you mind giving me your age? I’m 27…sorry if I’m being nosey. I’m just curious…hope things are well between you and your man. Just remember, that us virgos may seem cold and tough to the outside world,but on the inside, when it comes to the women we love we are like glass.

  • GemIILove

    I’ve been in love with my virgo boyfriend for 9 yrs. It’s sooo hard, he is soooo freakn controlling

  • Gem w

    Beware gemini woman/girls of a Virgo men. They are so attractive to us. I had encounters with three of them. Gorgeous! But notunderstading about ours ways. The true thing is that we need security, assuring evry now and then. The Gemini woman will flirt always, but if you the right guy and treat her right, there is no problem, she is all devoted to you. Never forget to call her or text her back, it’s easier than you think.

  • Gem w

    He is unbelievable by now, never saw a better behaving guy. i like him and it’s strange.

  • June2ndGemini

    Virgo man, give her variety! Get a babysitter and take her out to have a couple of drinks and dance! While you’re dancing surprise her by giving her small bites on her neck. Take her to a hotel and blind fold her and tease her. Have passionate love. Then the next weekend go out for a nice hike outdoors up a mountain with great sights, and end the night at the movies. Take her out for icecream and take a laptop to laugh at funny stuff at the same time. She has love but she might feel like something is missing. Geminis need variety. Do random things, keep her on her toes. She needs excitement to be truly happy. Love is important, but she needs more than that. She’s bored, and that can depress her and make her feel like she needs change. Talk to your friends for ideas on what to do, look online for ideas, read magazines, just use all your resources. Plan it and do it AND enjoy it too!!! She just has soo many sides that have needs that need to be met one way or another.

  • June2ndGemini

    Oh and anther thing, stop the cute texts. Send her some aggressive sexual texts. Tell her what you want to do to her. Send her pictures of your member and tell her how much you want her lol trust me, we love this kinda thing. Just mix it up!

  • http://thingsalongtheway.blogspot.com/ Cindy

    You don’t get many dates do you, June2ndGemini?

    I know a fellow who gives out advice on facebook about how to get rich. Never having a job beyond trying to sell his friends and relatives all the latest MLM scam products, I am not sure what advice he could give. Except maybe–get your mother to give you a credit card and then run up $50k on it.

    He even believes in what he does.You remind me of him in a way.

  • Aries Man In Love

    I love looking through a post that will make people think.
    Also, thanks for permitting me to comment!

  • Tee

    I’m a gemini woman (young woman) and I’m in love with a virgo man(who’s 7yrs older than I am).I’ve known him for a year.He makes me feel so emotionally stable.As if i can trust him and feel so safe with him.The conversations that we have are so amazing and very to a point where i don’t want them to end.After I’ve admitted that i love him,i see that he’s taken so much interest in me and everything in my life,but at the same time, get these mixed signals as if he was interested in someone else and just not enough for him.Even though he sends me goodmorning texts sometimes and calls me randomly,just to hear my voice,he can be a bit critical and sometimes he pokes fun at me,and we even have our disagreements.Despite his workaholic ways,he tries make sometime for me (although an hour isn’t enough).I wonder sometimes will show (and say) that he’s feeling the same way.I just hope he does.

  • Jayant

    It will never work…gemini girl and virgo boy
    the story they lived together for 8 month gemini girl just breakup with some guy the honest and big hearted virgo given her the shoulder and the she falll in love with him he take time after 4 month when he started to love her suddnly gemiini changed her mind he take care of her everything when she taird from work he cooked food for her those midnight dinner ,morning coffee all are just not enogh for her she will go and say i will get better gemini will never understand a virgo guy so please dont trry it