I’ve traveled to the front lines of battle my friends, and lived to tell the tale.
Today in history will henceforth be known as the day The Burning Crusade, the World of Warcraft expansion pack, was unleashed upon the unwashed masses.
So, being the dutiful and devoted husband that I am I ventured forth to the midnight opening of Electronic’s Boutique to pick up our pre-ordered copy for my wife. (I’m not touching that crap anymore!)
Having never attended a midnight release for a game I was quite unsure what I was in store for. However, I knew full well it should be epic. Upon my arrival I spied a line just peeking out the door of EB at 11PM.
‘Hey, not bad’ thought I! It was then I learned that that was the line to get your number. After waiting in said line for 30 minutes, I then was instructed to proceed back outside in the snow and 30 degree weather to wait in line again. For another 30 minutes.
All in all, not a bad thing, but as in all nerd congregations there are many a fun site to behold. So for you, here are some highlights.
- It’s winter in Indiana. For the first time, it’s actually cold, and starting to snow. The first thing I spied in this conglomeration of mouth breathers and such was an idiot in shorts and flip flops. As I stood attempting to avoid making direct eye contact with anybody, I first saw his glowing red legs as he was told to go stand outside again. I truly hope he survived the night.
- A rather rotund man, near 400 lbs. in nothing but jeans and a t-shirt. Orating loudly for the entire hour his love of all things Blizzard and Warcraft, he spent his time in line counting change out of a large baggie for his $80 copy of the collectors edition.
Thankfully he was behind me in line. One of the last things I heard bleating forth from his furry chops: ”I want to be somebody’s story! I want somebody to post on their blog about me tomorrow!” Well, I guess he got his wish. Oh yes, and just so you all know, his career is writing reviews for anime episodes. He makes about 50¢ a pop. It’s not much, but he truly loves what he does. Ask him. He’ll tell you about it. For hours. (Don’t make direct eye contact)
- A surprising number of couples, warm in their huddled nerd love. Rather sweet really. However, when I encountered a former co-worker as I obtained my number, I was asked ‘are you playing again?’ My response was ‘Nope. I’m picking up a copy for my wife.’ It was then I realized I should have kept my response to myself as the sighs, aww’s, and ‘See, he didn’t make his wife come down here with him!’ resounded from the crowd. Sorry for any unpleasantry I may have brought to the surface for those happy little nerd couples.
- It was apparent that the gentleman in front of me in line was out of his element. Wide eyed as he looked upon the over excited masses, he kept his head lowered for the duration of the hour speaking nary a word unless directly addressed. I feel certain in the notion that he sped home directly and promptly showered.
- I learned the strategy of hundreds of guilds as they all professed loudly their plans for attack once the game was installed. Power leveling Blood Elf’s as fast as possible, saved gold for twinking, exploring the outlands with their end game characters, etc. etc. It was then I remembered why I no longer play this game.
- Females interested in the World of Warcraft do not necessarily fit the stereotypical vision of females in computer games. (Read: Not a good stereotype. Often male.) My wife never having fit this stereotype, I assumed she was an anomaly.
The surprising number of ladies in pajama pants were an added bonus to my time spent ‘late night standing around in line.’
Lessons learned, I pass the following warnings on to you, the reader. If you have a co-worker that dresses as such frequently:
Well, thank your deity thoroughly and enjoy the view. However, if your co-worker frequently dresses as such:
Be wary. They are mostly likely lacking in sleep and may attack when provoked.