Hi everyone. We're here with an exclusive "interview" with Ruff Trigger, star of a new video game on the Playstation 2. This is Trigger's first attempt at starring in a video game, and many of the critics haven't been so kind. We've decided to sit down with the furry star and get his reaction.
Hi Ruff, great to have you here.
Yeah, thanks for having me. I'm excited to have a chance to speak out.
Let's get right into it. You've been criticized for being nothing more than a clone of Ratchet and Clank. How do you respond?
Well, it's simple really. See, Ratchet and Clank was actually based on a true story from my world. The developers heard about it and decided to make it into a game.
And you expect someone to believe that, huh?
It's better than anything the guys in marketing dreamed up.
Okay, moving on to something believable, what is it about the game you feel will make players enjoy the experience?
Obviously, the $20 price tag is enticing.
Well, of course, but why not buy Ratchet and Clank for the same price?
Because I'm the original and they're the knock-off.
You're going to stand by that, aren't you?
It's all I've got.
So, what about your targeting system? It's almost impossible to shoot anything if you're trapped by multiple enemies, and the lock-on control scheme is touchy at best.
Yeah, we knew that would be a problem. See, the suit I'm wearing in the game prevents… actually, you know what? It's just an awful system. I can't actually defend it.
Wow Ruff, I really wasn't expecting that from you. I mean, won't you get in…
Stop right there. I think this would be a good time to make a confession, too.
That the camera system in your game is awful, even worse than the targeting?
No, nothing like that. I have an addiction.
That's brave of you to come out like this. What's the problem? Drugs? Alcohol? Watching too many animated movies from the '80s?
No, it's worse. I have an addition to bright shiny objects. I feel the need to collect them wherever I go. I even think that if I collect 100 of them, I get an extra life. It's a problem for a lot of us video game mascots.
Yeah, this is reflected in the game, too. Is it some sort of message?
You got it. I was hoping my buddies Sonic and Mario would hopefully own up to their problems as well. It's not our fault entirely though. People are cruel. They hide these things everywhere. It makes it harder to stop.