I've never played poker.
You heard right. Never, despite living in Las Vegas for a decade, 3,649 days too many. So the chances of me watching poker are as likely as me turning on golf.
Now, you know it's coming. No, I didn't play poker. Recently, flipping through the channels (there are a lot of them aren't there? And there's virtually nothing to watch), I came across the World Poker Tour on the Travel channel.
I expected to see a bunch of dreary saps pushing chips, flipping cards and wasting thousands of dollars.
Much to my surprise, the guys at the table were playful. One guy in particular stood out — Phil Laak. What a nut. The spiky blonde Laak wore a gray hooded sweatshirt that he used as a prop. When the stakes were high, he'd suture up the jacket and all you'd see is a small hole. He'd stay that way until the cards were dealt. The announcers called him the unabomber.
Sometimes he'd lay his head on the table or run around in back of the dealer so he could see the card just as it was being flipped. He'd alternate between taking his shoes off and putting them back on. The shoes apparently went back on when he thought he was headed out of the game.
Then he'd do a dance on a good hand — the announcers called it the dinosaur dance. Apparently, he's the boyfriend of another poker player and eccentric, Jennifer Tilly.
Laak also is host of Hollywood Hold 'Em on E!
The other players, less charismatic but interesting still, included "the Godfather" Humberto Bremes of Costa Rica. He stood up every now and then and egged on the audience. He was the only one who didn't wear dark sunglasses.
John Juanda, the other player, was a quiet man but his facial expressions, or lack thereof, were telling.
More recently, I tuned in again to World Poker only to find what I expected, a bunch of dreary saps sitting around a table, pushing chips, flipping card - otherwise motionless.
This story has no moral, except if you get a chance to check out a game with Phil Laak, you'll see poker in a new light.
Article comments
1 - Tan The Man
It is fascinating, but sometimes the commentators can be extremely dull.
2 - Brent McKee
The Unabomber (Phil Laak) is "unique" (and he's sleeping with Jennifer Tilly, who he taught to play so well that she won the Women's Tournament at this year's World Series of Poker). There are a few other really colourful characters, like Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. On the whole the best players tend to be the more thoughtful types like John Juanda. In a lot of ways players like Laak, Matusow and Phil Hellmuth are fighting a psychological war out there.
I'm not overly fond of the commentators on the WPT. Mike Sexton's okay, but I can't stand Vince Van Patten. If you're looking for a good commentary team catch Celebrity Poker Showdown on Bravo. Dave Foley has a really good working relationship with his expert commentator Phil Gordon - they know when to let the other do their thing and Foley seems like he's actually paying attention and learning about the game. The games are better too simply because most of these people have no idea what they're doing which means that the focus is really on personalities.
3 - ochairball
Wow, I didn't realize Laak taught Tilly how to play. Maybe I ought to sleep with him. Ha!
I liked John Juanda even though he was quiet. I don't think i'll become a regular viewer but I might learn how to play.
4 - Tan The Man
Learn to play poker by playing it, not watching it on tv.
5 - Brent McKee
Tan The Man is absolutely right. Poker on TV has one major flaw as a learning tool and that is that you usually only see the final table of a tournament. Tactics change the smaller the number of people playing. Hands that you would throw away in disgust with 300 players in a tournament become playable when there are nine or six players left, and tournament play is different from "ring game" play where you're at a table playing each hand for cash. The objective in tournament poker is survival first to the point where money is paid out and then to each point where more money is paid and finally to the championship. The objective in a ring game is to make money and that's usually done by playing the best hands.
6 - Eric Berlin
I enjoy the celebrity poker tourneys over on Bravo, but I have no desire to watch it purely as sport. Dave Foley and crew make it fun (when it's a good ep, which isn't always the case), a Vegas-y romp that just happens to include some cards.
7 - ashley tisdale
i wanna to sleep with jennifer tilly so bad
8 - jj
i wonder if shes pregnant does anybody know