Putting your hard-earned money down on an RPG is often very akin to ice-skating. Imagine you’ve gone far out of your way to locating the most “top-of-the-line” skates available, and proceeded to slide out to the thinnest patch of ice on a lake, far away from the other skaters back by the shore. Sometimes, the results are pleasant – you discover that the ice is thicker than the entire Agatha Christie bibliography in hardback: it’s very stable indeed, and the whole remote location becomes your private ice-skating paradise. Other times, you wind up treading onto a patch of frost that’s thinner than the plot of a direct-to-video softcore porn – and you’re sucked under into the sub-zero waters below, with no chance of being saved by the people back by the shore.
The latter mixed metaphor best describes Hit Maker’s Last Rebellion, a god-awful RPG that leaves one with an insatiable hankering to dig up an old Commodore 64 and plug EA’s retro epic Wasteland into the 5 ¼” floppy drive. Don’t get me wrong, people: I absolutely love Wasteland. I loved it back in 1988, and I still love it today. My frustration lies instead with the fact that the makers of Last Rebellion didn’t even come close to achieving such simplistic greatness with their creation — despite the fact that they had 22 years of technological advancements on their side.
For starters, Hit Maker opted to not spend any money on their cutaway animation scenes. At least that’s the general impression one gets once they load up this RPG and discover the fact that its stationary, two-dimensional graphics are just that: stationary and two-dimensional. They lack movement. They lack depth. They lack just about everything good graphics on a High Definition game can possibly lack. During gameplay, the graphics somehow manage to become worse — treating players to a low-rent form of low definition, coupled with textures that look like something the cat didn’t even want to drag in. Even if Last Rebellion had been made back in the late ‘90s for the original PS console, the graphics would have looked outdated. Seriously, they suck.