Warning: This review contains useless thoughts and phrases. It also contains numerous segments not even relating to the game being reviewed. You may completely lose interest or fall asleep in that bowl of Frosted Flakes right in front of you if continue reading. You have been warned.
I've had a really bad week. Not that you really care, but I figured I'd toss that in there to keep things in perspective. Anyway, during this bad week, I happened to come across "Kabuki Warriors" for that big black and green box that's sitting under my Dreamcast at home. At a price point of a mere $9.99, how could I go wrong?
My mind however began working just as I asked the Meijer clerk to open the big glass case that protected thousands of dollars worth of merchandise. "Hey, idiot! Don't you remember all of those terrible reviews that XBN, Game Pro, EGM, and OXBM featured inside their money hungry corporate magazines about this game?" I responded quickly and sharply "Yeah, but that's THEIR opinion. I'm choosing to make my own! Idiot." The Meijer clerk, standing there with her stunned look could only respond with "Uh, you want this one...right?" I nod my head, realizing that I just said that out loud.
So, to make a long story somewhat shorter than it could be, I plunked down my $10.61 (after tax of course) and waddled on home. I carefully removed the shrink-wrap and those infinitely annoying "security stickers" that ruined half of the DVD's in my collection. My week almost instantaneously got better. Regardless of every other review you've read, this game is not that bad. In fact, given a few minutes of your time, it's pretty enjoyable. See, once you've removed the shrink-wrap and the annoying sticker from your copy (assuming you've bought your copy new of course...otherwise you'll have fight through those even more infinitely annoying Electronic Boutique used stickers) you'll enter the world of the Kabuki Warrior.