Gaming Boobs Need Help

I am certainly not a major gamer. Chances are that the cool games everyone is talking about are ones of which I know nothing of. And while my favorite game will always be Bubble Bobble, I also enjoy some of the contemporary more mature games. I wasn’t so out of the loop as to not get a PS2 or Xbox, but I am also not going to die if I don’t get every new console that ever comes out.

As a non-gaming girl, I find many video games to be quite amusing. I certainly don’t expect females to not be sexy in games because honestly, who wants to play a game where you look at some revolting person — be them male or female? Males in the games go shirtless too, so I see no reason to demand better for females, but let it slide for males. Heck, I don’t even denigrate the codes to play Nude Raider or see the characters in The Sims 2 without being blurred over. I think those things are funny.

That humor is partially why I tend to laugh at video games more than anything. Because the women wear revealing clothing or nothing at all, I pay attention to how ridiculous some of the women in video games are. So yes, they have extremely large breasts. That doesn’t bother me. It is the fact that in games like Dead or Alive 2, the breasts jiggle in the most unrealistic of ways. If you really want bouncing boobs in your game, you might as well make the entire chest area bounce, not just the area surrounding the nipples. Though it is amusing that setting the age of these girls to be older makes the boobs bounce more, it is still in the wrong area. Nipples don’t jiggle, boobs do!

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Article Author: Cara de Pescado

In real life she's Erin McMaster, but Cara de Pescado is one of the fortunate ones to be considered a Masked Movie Snob. She puts her fins to work and writes Reviews From A Fishbowl.

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  • 1 - Ken Edwards

    Dec 20, 2005 at 7:09 pm

    I feel it is a total travesty that the women of DOA (and other games) do not have good breast physics. I think more research should be done in this area to make sure they get it right next time.

    :-)

  • 2 - -E

    Dec 20, 2005 at 7:15 pm

    Physics? HA! If the guys that designed these games got out from the computers and in the real world they could see real boobs jiggle and it wouldn't be a problem. Extend the movement to the top and bottom of the breast at least!

  • 3 - Matthew T. Sussman

    Dec 20, 2005 at 7:17 pm

    Looking to video games for good video games is like going to Hooters to play Frogger.

  • 4 - Matthew T. Sussman

    Dec 20, 2005 at 7:18 pm

    Er ...

    Looking to video games for good boobies is like going to Hooters to play Frogger.

  • 5 - -E

    Dec 20, 2005 at 7:23 pm

    I've yet to come across a Hooters Girl that didn't have a camel toe, but people claim they have good wings there too. Why can't video games also have good boobs?

  • 6 - Ken Edwards

    Dec 20, 2005 at 7:27 pm

    They are going for realism in video games these days, after all...

  • 7 - KingKRool

    Dec 20, 2005 at 8:13 pm

    Lmao! Good article! XD

    Soul Calibur had reakky great jiggle effects. A little over the top though...

  • 8 - -E

    Dec 21, 2005 at 12:22 am

    Honestly? Boob jiggling is just something I laugh about in the games. The boobs in general don't reflect real boobs. Mine don't look like the ones in the games, and I personally like mine. And I haven't had any complaints either.

  • 9 - Eric Berlin

    Dec 21, 2005 at 1:01 am

    Well, I think the real question here is: is the target demo for these games really going to be able to tell the difference?

  • 10 - -E

    Dec 21, 2005 at 1:09 am

    HAHA Are you asking because they are too young? Or because they never do anything but play a game so they never see the real thing? Either way, we should prepare these young men for what a real woman looks like. And boobs are part of it!

  • 11 - Eric Berlin

    Dec 21, 2005 at 1:12 am

    Yep, pretty much. Not sure how much vid games are going to prepare them though!

  • 12 - -E

    Dec 21, 2005 at 3:51 am

    HAHA, well it won't prepare them at all. But these young boys shouldn't be shocked when a nipple doesn't jiggle but an entire boob does!

  • 13 - kiddicus maximus

    Dec 22, 2005 at 6:56 pm

    can we get some kind of comparison? i've seen a few (thousand) sets of real boobs, and you are very right.

  • 14 - Ken Edwards

    Dec 22, 2005 at 8:26 pm

    Wow I would have lost my bet, it took 13!

  • 15 - -E

    Jan 17, 2006 at 2:57 pm

    Ken, you know you wanted to ask that the whole time ;)

  • 16 - Vaginarian

    Jan 24, 2006 at 3:17 pm

    There's a few japanese games where the boobs are adjustable.

  • 17 - Kermit D. Frog

    Jan 24, 2006 at 3:30 pm

    Get over yourself :)

    And what I mean by that is, no one cares, no one really wants to read your Blog, at least no one important. A Blog is just a means for socially retarded people to feel like they get some sort of attention.

    You fail at life.

  • 18 - swingingpuss

    Jan 24, 2006 at 3:32 pm

    Kermit, are you sure you are croaking on the right thread?

  • 19 - Ruvy in Jerusalem

    Jan 24, 2006 at 3:43 pm

    The computer game that teaches a guy to deal with REAL women hasn't been invented yet. If it had, GTA, and the whole crop of current games wouldn't have any players - no matter how realistically the boobs jiggled.

  • 20 - Simon

    Jan 24, 2006 at 4:27 pm

    Kermit you're reading the blog **sighs** nice piece, its copletely true. But unless you start developing games with realistic boobs (would laugh at a game box saying NOW WITH REALISTIC BOOB JIGGLING!!) then no one else is.

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