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Gaming Boobs Need Help

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I am certainly not a major gamer. Chances are that the cool games everyone is talking about are ones of which I know nothing of. And while my favorite game will always be Bubble Bobble, I also enjoy some of the contemporary more mature games. I wasn’t so out of the loop as to not get a PS2 or Xbox, but I am also not going to die if I don’t get every new console that ever comes out.

As a non-gaming girl, I find many video games to be quite amusing. I certainly don’t expect females to not be sexy in games because honestly, who wants to play a game where you look at some revolting person — be them male or female? Males in the games go shirtless too, so I see no reason to demand better for females, but let it slide for males. Heck, I don’t even denigrate the codes to play Nude Raider or see the characters in The Sims 2 without being blurred over. I think those things are funny.

That humor is partially why I tend to laugh at video games more than anything. Because the women wear revealing clothing or nothing at all, I pay attention to how ridiculous some of the women in video games are. So yes, they have extremely large breasts. That doesn’t bother me. It is the fact that in games like Dead or Alive 2, the breasts jiggle in the most unrealistic of ways. If you really want bouncing boobs in your game, you might as well make the entire chest area bounce, not just the area surrounding the nipples. Though it is amusing that setting the age of these girls to be older makes the boobs bounce more, it is still in the wrong area. Nipples don’t jiggle, boobs do!

Now, a game with the sole purpose being to gain as many conquests as possible, like Leisure Suit Larry, seems to me to get rather boring after a while. I don’t think games should get rid of their sexual content. I love playing The Sims 2 and part of that is getting them to make “whoopie.” But I do take up issue if it becomes sexual violence against women. If the violence is simply beating them up like you would any other character in the game, I will be bashing her head in with the rest of you. But when it crosses that line and becomes sexual assault, I would have a problem with it. And I mean more violent than Grand Theft Auto. But so far the most sexually offensive thing I can find happens to be the bad boobs. And that is because mine look a lot better than video game boobs.

And sure, it gets a little old when games have yet another girlfriend sidekick or princess to rescue as your options for a female character. I think it would be hilarious to have the choice of being some supreme bitch in a game. Give her the bouncing boobs if you must, but I like a good bitch in my entertainment. Sure, that is just another stereotype of women, but at least it is different than being a submissive twit.

So yes, as a girl in the gaming world, I recognize it is a world largely created by men. I have no problem with it being a man’s playing field. I’m just saying I notice where the men fall short and don’t really get the bouncing boobs just right.

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About Cara

  • I feel it is a total travesty that the women of DOA (and other games) do not have good breast physics. I think more research should be done in this area to make sure they get it right next time.


  • -E

    Physics? HA! If the guys that designed these games got out from the computers and in the real world they could see real boobs jiggle and it wouldn’t be a problem. Extend the movement to the top and bottom of the breast at least!

  • Looking to video games for good video games is like going to Hooters to play Frogger.

  • Er …

    Looking to video games for good boobies is like going to Hooters to play Frogger.

  • -E

    I’ve yet to come across a Hooters Girl that didn’t have a camel toe, but people claim they have good wings there too. Why can’t video games also have good boobs?

  • They are going for realism in video games these days, after all…

  • Lmao! Good article! XD

    Soul Calibur had reakky great jiggle effects. A little over the top though…

  • -E

    Honestly? Boob jiggling is just something I laugh about in the games. The boobs in general don’t reflect real boobs. Mine don’t look like the ones in the games, and I personally like mine. And I haven’t had any complaints either.

  • Well, I think the real question here is: is the target demo for these games really going to be able to tell the difference?

  • -E

    HAHA Are you asking because they are too young? Or because they never do anything but play a game so they never see the real thing? Either way, we should prepare these young men for what a real woman looks like. And boobs are part of it!

  • Yep, pretty much. Not sure how much vid games are going to prepare them though!

  • -E

    HAHA, well it won’t prepare them at all. But these young boys shouldn’t be shocked when a nipple doesn’t jiggle but an entire boob does!

  • kiddicus maximus

    can we get some kind of comparison? i’ve seen a few (thousand) sets of real boobs, and you are very right.

  • Wow I would have lost my bet, it took 13!

  • -E

    Ken, you know you wanted to ask that the whole time 😉

  • Vaginarian

    There’s a few japanese games where the boobs are adjustable.

  • Kermit D. Frog

    Get over yourself 🙂

    And what I mean by that is, no one cares, no one really wants to read your Blog, at least no one important. A Blog is just a means for socially retarded people to feel like they get some sort of attention.

    You fail at life.

  • Kermit, are you sure you are croaking on the right thread?

  • The computer game that teaches a guy to deal with REAL women hasn’t been invented yet. If it had, GTA, and the whole crop of current games wouldn’t have any players – no matter how realistically the boobs jiggled.

  • Simon

    Kermit you’re reading the blog **sighs** nice piece, its copletely true. But unless you start developing games with realistic boobs (would laugh at a game box saying NOW WITH REALISTIC BOOB JIGGLING!!) then no one else is.

  • Erin, its a fantastic post. Check this google video on halo

    Its downright hilarious

  • Joe

    “but I like a good bitch in my entertainment”

    Play Bloodrayne then

  • adminyo

    seee. i dont see why that matters, the people that make the games are 30 year olds sitting next to a computer as virgins. that is the only pleasure they have and they probally have never seen breasts anyways…..


  • What the hell is all this?

    Yes, I agree that the boobs in games just aren’t realistic. It isn’t really surprising.

    What I love here though, is the idea that all gamers are fat, reclusive and/or virgins who have never seen a real pair of boobs move.

    I bet if somebody attacked female blog writers for always blogging about the same stuff, you’d feel fairly angry and want to comment on it, too. You’d probably be annoyed at the ridiculous sterotyping. Although that would make you a bit of a hypocrit, given that you’re branding a good 100 million people in one fell swoop.

    I’m a gamer. I’ve run a gaming website for 5 years. I live with my girlfriend and indeed, I’m not a virgin. Neither am I particularly fat. I laughed at Dead Or Alive Beach Volleyball’s ridiculous “boobimation” and so did my girlfriend…

    As for developers – The three I count as friends are all married and all have at least one child.

    Oh I see, you meant the *other* gamers and developers… sorry. My mistake. You meant the other reclusive gamers who are probably sitting down in their breaks from gaming, watching porn. Pornstars aren’t *all* silicone enhanced, you know…

  • -E

    I certainly never said all gamers are fat virgins who never leave their homes. I simply said that as a girl who certainly isn’t a gamer by any serious standards, I find a few things entertaining and amusing for reasons not intended by the developers. There is nothing wrong with me finding entertainment in how unreal something is. Doesn’t stop me from playing the games now does it?

  • “A Blog is just a means for socially retarded people to feel like they get some sort of attention”

    as opposed to a commentor named after a puppet who uses smiley faces, right?

  • nixon

    just be quiete
    the reason why they make male character nothing but female character fake, its cause 80 percent of the gamers are males… so one day if its 50/50 then yes both will have somethign sexy image otehrwise, since most males are the gamers and buyers, for now female character will look sexy …

    so stop complaining…

  • Charlie

    Oh god, get a life – all.
    That was 15 minutes of my life I will never get back.

  • Syx

    Er, what? was absolute ****. Waste of 4 minutes!

  • Syx, the joke seems to have gone way above your head.

  • Funny video swingingpuss!

    And nixon, you would be amazed at the numbers. A recent study (last year) showed the ratio of women:men gamers in the UK to be 49:51 percent. While the US is not the same, it is pretty close to that number.

  • Teh St1ng

    Very well done article.. More realistic boobies would be a great feature in video games.

  • “A recent study (last year) showed the ratio of women:men gamers in the UK to be 49:51 percent.”

    Which study? Did it happen to be taken from a sample of 50 men and 50 women? Or did they ask “Have you ever played a game?” If not, somebody has dropped a comma or decimal point somewhere, because that figure is absolute trash.

  • Oggy

    What a waste of blog space and time .

    Yours Truly


  • Fuz

    Good article… Your boobs are better than video game boobs? Great! I’m not doubting you, but I still want proof! No nudity required even, a nice fitting t-shirt will suffice. thanks. 🙂

  • Fuz

    Good article. I love good T&A in games and movies. Not because I’m your typical boob watching guy (even though I might be), but I like to see things pleasing to the eye, that I would other wise not see in reality. Which brings brings me to my next point – your boobs are better than video game breasts? I’m never a doubter but feel free to prove it. No nudity required – a nice fitting t-shirt suffices 🙂

  • BOOBS!

    I like bouncing, jiggling boobs.

  • Real Man

    You all need a life, All of you say that blogging is only for retards that want attention, and yet, here you are blogging all day. Makes no sense. And, all of you fake people out there saying shit that isnt true, just to make yourself feel better. Like saying you see a whole bunch of boobs in your life, or saying that your boobs are better than video game boobs, i doubt all of you. And yes, i know, im blogging now, a pretty long one, but im bored, and i need to target somebody with this anger ^_^

    IM me bitch! sn = “stuffedcabbages”

  • Dynamo of Eternia

    Yes, bad boob physics in video games must be stopped!

    However, touching a leaf that causes you to grow a racoon tail which will make you fly when you wag it…. well, that’s just perfectly logical! 😉

  • WTF

    I dont thik games are meant for looking how realistic the titties are…epic failure

  • Amber

    they are sexy can i kiss you