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Football Recruiting Made Difficult

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During the sailing era when Great Britain owned the oceans it was common practice for crews to go ashore and recruit new members by kidnapping them. In much the same way Nebraska built powerhouse football teams in the ’70s. It’s the only explanation for Trev Alberts.

Recruiting is year-round, but in college football the season is now. Coaches, boosters, and bankers are hard at work trying to lure the next (insert your favorite player) to their respective schools. It’s difficult and competitive and often the tipping point is a new house or an Xbox.

Amidst the drama are recruiting experts. If ever there were words not meant to go together it is recruiting and expert. Partisan, quick to anger if a recruit won’t talk to them; these experts feed at the bottom of the football ocean, eating the waste products of what is great about the college game.

Paid by various “services,” these football hookers whisper whatever their pimp tells them. Among those this humble scribe detests is Tom Luginbill, ESPN’s recruiting analyst. His self-written biography that appears as one of his articles, wherein he discusses the recruiting “wars” he endured, is hilarious as it offers a peek inside an ego that makes Ted Turner appear humble.

Tom wants you to know he’s been there. Junior college and then major college for one year where he led Georgia Tech to one win followed by a transfer to another school. If you didn’t know better you’d think he was Randy Moss, absent the talent.

Luginbill comes across so biased Fox News is jealous. He’s high on any kid attending certain schools and drops others after their recruiting decision is reached. In addition, his on-air manner makes Al Gore look positively lifelike.

It’s obvious to coaches and players that Tom is a joke but not always obvious to fans who treat his top 100 players as if it they were gold. Here’s his secret: Look at the top ranked high schools, hear the buzz and insert a name into a spreadsheet. BOOM: Instant expert.

Recruiting is difficult but made all the more so by recruiting experts. Here’s a solution:

Take the top 50 of one of the hot lists. If more than 30% of the “can’t miss” superstars are not superstars, package up said expert, load him onto a ship, and deposit him at a port on the West Coast of Africa with a t-shirt that says, “I support colonialism.”

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