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Flirting With Porn

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This isn’t so much a news article as it is just plain bragging. But I hope you enjoy it as much as I did…

[1]

I met this nice girl a few months back. She was in town for only a few days visiting some mutual friends of ours, before having to go back to school in Chicago to finish getting her second Master’s degree.

So we stopped off at the local coffee shop to fuel up on caffeinated courage before heading out to a bar, where we closed the place down. We hung out and made out.

The bad news is… she flew back to Chicago the next day.

The good news is… she’s done commercially-available amateur porn, so, technically, I don’t have to go to Chicago to see her. I can just rent the video.

[2]

When the preceding story happened to me, I remember thinking to myself, “Well, I’ll never top this.”

But, as it turns out…

Earlier this week, I got an email from an ex-girlfriend who I hadn’t heard from in years.

Now, just prior to the time we went out, she had gotten new breasts. She was very proud of these breasts. And, having closely inspected them myself, I can’t say as I blame her.

So she emailed me and suggested we catch up via email. But I noticed her email address wasn’t yahoo or hotmail or whatever, but a website.

Curiosity got the better of me.

I typed it in, and found out she was now a big porn star, with dozens of titles under her belt.

Yes, there was my ex- –hairy, gooed and strapped for action.

I was impressed. It was a real “Local Girl Makes Good” tale. It warmed my cockles. Or something along those lines.

I had so many questions for her. But at that point, I had a powerful hankering for a cigarette – which is PURELY coincidental, I assure you – but I realized I was out. So I had to go to the store. By the time I got back, I had forgotten my questions.

So, now that I’ve apparently hooked up with not one, but two, porn stars, I’ve got to ask:

Can anybody here top that? Show of hands?

Nobody?

I didn’t think so!

(And if somebody does come along with bragging rights, well… Congratulations. Now shut up already. I guess that about covers it.)

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About Pete Petrisko

  • Eric Olsen

    Hmm, in the lost years between my marriages (divorced ’89, met Dawn in late-’95) I dated three exotic dancers who all ended up working together, sharing stories about me and getting pissed off, but by then I had realized the errors of my ways and moved on.

  • http://www.bhwblog.com bhw

    Peter, you’re like the Forrest Gump of porny girlfriends.

  • http://www.shortstrangetrip.org Joe

    I’m reminded of the only quote I can remember from the film, Arthur, “You’re a hooker? Jesus, I forgot! I just thought I was doing GREAT with you!”

  • Shark

    Hey, I can top that—and I have the prescriptions to prove it!

  • Dave

    Big Ego story… Who in the hell gives a shit! What is it with losers like you put out statements like “who can top this” and “show of hands”. IDIOT!!!

    Everyone who thinks that you’re a loser,
    “SHOW OF HANDS”. The name “PETER” fits you perfect dick!!!

  • Chris Kent

    I have never bought into the myth that women who participate in porn and exotic dancing are liberated and in touch with their bodies, at war with an ever-oppressive society. Such women who participate in such professions believe that the only way to succeed is to be beautiful, to impress men. Most of them are victims, and to brag that you have “bagged” a porn star continues to perpetuate such victimization…..

  • Dave

    That’s just it Chris, the only the he has bagged is his lunch.

  • Chris Kent

    Well hell, I can bag a lunch….! I can even bag leaves. But if I bagged a porn star (I fantasize about Helen Mirren – has she been in a porn film?), I would write a letter to the editor at Penthouse. But wait, that publication is now defunct! Hell, then I’ll just send it to Blogcritics…..

  • Eric Olsen

    People, if you can’t brag in a blog, where can you?

  • http://www.makeyougohmm.com/ TDavid

    Penthouse isn’t defunct, but it is going to be going more softcore a la Playboy.

  • http://worldofpete.blogspot.com Pete

    To Chris Kent: I don’t know which exotic dancers you’ve been hanging out with, but the ones I’ve known usually found most of their clientele kind of pathetic and had the attitude, “If they’re stupid enough to give me money for what they can see with the gf/wife for free, well…”

    And as far as the woman in the first story goes, her attitude was, “I hadn’t had sex in three months, I was looking to get laid… and somebody was willing to PAY me for something I had planned to do anyway?”

    She was the same girl who took a picture of herself giving a guy a bj, then put it on a t-shirt & went to the mall to try to sell it to stores that carried your typical “hot model T&A” pics on shirts & posters. (Nobody would buy them, by the way. Most of them probably missed the point too.)

    To ALL: This is a serious lot we have here. Don’t worry, I was just writing “in character”. It’s a character I like to call “Male Chauvinist Guy.” Pretty funny, huh?

    PS – By the way, it’s nice to be back on blogcritics. I’ve been away far too long.

  • Chris Kent

    lol….I just like to argue and rattle cages…..I will give you that I can be too serious and sanctimonious at times….

  • Shark

    re: Chris Kent’s:

    I fantasize about Helen Mirren – has she been in a porn film?)

    Actually a couple:

    Caligula (which gave porn a bad name, if that’s possible~!)

    and

    The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, Her Lover — which some ‘considered’ pornographic, but it was just creepy and sick and funny and violent.

    But I don’t think she ever showed her boobs in either. More research required.

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