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First Family’s Summer Vacation Ends Up Dissin’ the Mitten

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Day Two of the First Family’s Very First Summer Vacation and all is well in the land. After all, it was a tough seven months and the presidential household needs time to rest, recoup and get it together. Besides the 2008 Hawaiian Christmas holiday is so far in the rear view that no one remembers it and the upcoming winter might be brutal.

Ah… I remember when I used to take real vacations, not unlike the Obamas. The last one was Christmas 2005 spent in a soggy San Francisco but we had a great time. But with two kids in college in the last four years, who has time or money to vay-cay? Time away from the office tends to be stolen in minutes or weekends carefully wedged in between day-to-day survival in challenging economic times.

So the Obama show moves to Martha’s Vineyard for the next couple of weeks. Le Prez even admonished his fevered worshippers to leave him alone. I’m all for that. I feel like I’ve seen him and his family walking around the house in their skivvies. They're here, they're there, they're everywhere. The man is grossly overexposed so a moratorium of sorts is right up my alley. As I’m fond of saying, “Hallelujah and pass the margaritas!”

When I think Martha’s Vineyard, I think money and pedigree. I also think lobster — which is my favorite food of all time and buckets of fried clams. However, the choice of the trendy island enclave is a mystery to me. It also leaves the little red-headed stepchild Michigan out in the cold.

Who is this Martha, and why does she get a Vineyard?

Who planned this summer getaway anyway?

What about the Mitten State?

Yeah, Michigan. I’m no native, but don’t mind tooting the horn. We have plenty of water, more freshwater shoreline than any other state. We have four of the five Great Lakes and lots of lesser ones inland. There is fishing and boating galore.

We’re third in the country in number of golf courses, with only California and Florida ahead of us. That’s if they’re not closed and overgrown or mowed under or suffering like Warwick Hills from a newly absent Buick Open. My husband can get a round of golf in for $25 or less on a weekday with a cart.

We have museums, history, music, lighthouses and symphonies. There’s a small theme park for the kids, or take a short drive to Cedar Point in Ohio. We have some great restaurants, establishments that rival those on the Big Left Coast (California) which I would be happy to point the First Family towards. And it’s all cheap, cheap!

The only thing we don’t have is fresh lobster and fried clams. Don’t eat the fish here (pollution) but save room for cherry pie because our cherries kick ass.

The best part about Michigan is due to the migration of the unwashed masses (i.e. the unemployed and disenfranchised) to other more lucrative states with stronger economies governed by politicians who really give a damn, we also have hardly any residents left, and so am able to maintain a certain level of privacy. Plus, there’s no such thing as getting caught in rush hour traffic anymore.

Not to be undone by the snobs on the Right Coast, our state also has a “Martha’s Vineyard” Bed and Breakfast in fashionably elitist South Haven on Michigan’s West (Lake Michigan) Coast. The upside is that it’s only a two-hour drive from downtown Chicago, our president’s former home. Check out the web site; the resort looks quite nice. I’d stay there myself, if I could find the time and could afford it.

I would even offer up my own humble home for the Obamas, seeing that I’m not able to get any Gitmo detainees. (Back off, Standish, I was in line first.) It’s not a mansion but I like it. We have three vacant bedrooms and the bathroom features a Jacuzzi tub. Here they can feast on fresh tomatoes, basil and mozzarella and enjoy the peacefulness of my Asian garden.

I am totally irritated. President Obama must not have caught one of those “Pure Michigan” ads that have been peppered on airwaves all over the lower 48. Narrated by one-time Michigander, actor and comedian Tim Allen, in a voice grandfatherly and kind, the ads feature dewy shots of golf courses, yachts cruising the Great Lakes, the sun rising on downtown Detroit, fall colors tours and winter sports. Not since the Coca-Cola commercials of the early 1970s where fresh-faced hippies joined hands and told us how they would like to teach the world to sing have I been left so touched and misty-eyed, and I have a critical eye when it comes to commercials. Millions of (taxpayer) dollars were spent on those ads, damn it, and we couldn’t even snag the Leader of the Free World and his family for his summer vacation?

Don’t feel badly, Tim Allen. Jeff Daniels is having an equally hard time getting any businesses to relocate to Michigan. Michigan, the Upper Hand? My eye.

You’d think after the recent chummy love fest between the US auto industry and the Beltway boys, the President would continue to spread the love around to the rest of the state. We’re down and out in the Rust Belt and the state that looks like a hand could use a hand.

I guess the love just doesn’t extend beyond Democrats and UAW members.

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About Joanne Huspek

I write. I read. I garden. I cook. I eat. And I love to talk about all of the above.
  • http://www.futonreport.net/ Matthew T. Sussman

    God, those Tim Allen commercials drive me insane. Especially when I’m on hold for 30 minutes with the unemployment office.

  • Georgio

    Joanne…I think you would find something wrong with the Obama”s no matter where they went on vacation even though Bush was on vacation or in a coma for eight years..Having said that I AGREE with you ..why not vacation to a state that needs the money…he could have picked any town along the coast of Michigan and had just as good of a time as the vineyard ..I was a Charter Captain in New Buffalo Michigan for several years and it was some of the best times of my life..I disagree with you about the fish how ever ..the Chinook Coho and perch where excellent and the shoreline is as good as anywhere

  • http://ruvysroost.blogspot.com Ruvy

    You’re asking Obama to do something good for his country, Joanne? That would like having asked Hitler to donate to the United Jewish Appeal! Or asking Obama to do the same, now that I think of it….

    This is the man who wants to wash the stink of terror and murder out of 9/11. This is the man printing so many dollars they will be great for wallpaper (or toilet paper) in a few years. Are you serious?

  • zingzing

    yay! ruvy makes the obama/hitler connection! haven’t seen that before! ruvy needs to make the ruvy/toilet connection, because his shit is going to the wrong place! yay!

  • http://joannehuspek.wordpress.com Joanne Huspek

    Actually, I would have sung Obama’s praises had he chosen the poor stepchild as a vacation spot. NO ONE wants to come here, well, none of my relatives anyway, so my poll is totally unscientific and unreliable.

    Ruvy, I beg to differ with you on one thing. Hitler DID set up a state all-Jewish symphony to prove to his naysayers that he really wanted to take “care” of the Jewish problem. The flipside was that he had other more ominous intentions. Read “The Inextinguishable Symphony.” It was an eye opener.

  • yuk

    Next time you drop live lobsters into boiling water, listen to them scream. It adds something to the meal.

  • http://ruvysroost.blogspot.com Ruvy

    zing,

    You become more and more like a piece of trash named JOM who was banned here. You remember him, don’t you? Your comments are more and more like his, and you lower yourself to his level. If any of the results of my sojourns on the toilet go in your direction, then they are certainly going where they need to.

    As for the Hitler/Obama connection, that is a bit premature. But the Osama/Obama connection, which you managed to miss, is right on target.

  • http://ruvysroost.blogspot.com Ruvy

    I’d be more than happy to visit Michigan – but I’m not rich enough for the airfare, and paying $175 to renew a passport to a nation about to go down the tubes is not worth it to me. In addition, the money would go to the State Department – an enemy of Israel. I do not finance my enemies.

  • zingzing

    “You become more and more like a piece of trash named JOM who was banned here.”

    so do you.

    “If any of the results of my sojourns on the toilet go in your direction, then they are certainly going where they need to. ”

    see?

    it was just a clever way to say you miss the mark. or you’re full of shit.

    “But the Osama/Obama connection, which you managed to miss, is right on target.”

    sure it is. that’s just malarkey. all the bill does is remind americans of the solidarity we felt in the aftermath of 9/11. it’s not trying to wipe away the terrorist aspect of it. what should we do, make 9/11 a day of fear, or a day that brings out the best in us? so you can take your right wing drivel and shove it. that column reeks of absolute bullshit.

  • http://drdreadful.blogspot.com Dr Dreadful

    Ruvy,

    zing has at least two things going for him that JOM didn’t have:

    1. A sense of satire.
    2. More than one brain cell.

  • http://drdreadful.blogspot.com Dr Dreadful

    Michigan looks lovely in those commercials. It’s just a heck of a long way from where I’m at. Or indeed anywhere except other bits of Michigan.

  • fearful

    Perhaps Obama was guided in his choice by a fear of redheads.

  • http://thingsalongtheway.blogspot.com/ Cindy

    10

    your list is too long (or too short).

    here’s my list of things zing has going for him that jom didn’t have:

    1. everything

  • http://thingsalongtheway.blogspot.com/ Cindy

    6

    You are supposed to stab the lobster between the eyes with a chef knife to give it a merciful end. I can’t cook a lobster. The few times I have cooked clams, I couldn’t enjoy eating them. I love lobsters and clams, as long as someone else does the killing part.

    I can hook a fish! (provided no worms are involved) But someone had better kill them quickly. In my experience they are excellent escape artists. Once, all the fish that were swimming in the kitchen sink, managed to escape back into the lake.

  • Tex

    I prefer going after the little fuckers with my chainsaw, but that’s just me.

  • http://thingsalongtheway.blogspot.com/ Cindy

    lol!

  • Clavos

    Great article, Joanne, and a good point.

    I’ve noticed before that Obama’s staff apparently lacks anyone versed in the rudiments of PR and marketing; had he had a good PR professional advising him, he might have had much better luck with his Obamacare project, and Michigan likely would have had the FF vacationing there.

    Not only does the Vineyard not need the exposure, but his choice of vacation destination makes him look like the elitist he says he’s not.

  • http://drdreadful.blogspot.com Dr Dreadful

    Or perhaps the Vineyard, being a traditional playground of the rich and powerful, is an easier option security-wise than Michigan.

    At any rate, at least Obama isn’t going to be spending three months of every summer sitting around on a Texas ranch like his predecessor.

  • Clavos

    Or perhaps the Vineyard, being a traditional playground of the rich and powerful, is an easier option security-wise than Michigan.

    Sure Doc.

  • zingzing

    “Or perhaps the Vineyard, being a traditional playground of the rich and powerful, is an easier option security-wise than Michigan.”

    you know, this IS a vacation. if i were the president, i’d rather not go near the water in michigan this time of year. mosquito-ridden and itchy is not my idea of a good evening. watchin the sunset beneath a wave of insects does not get one laid at night.

    the real point is that if he were to politicize his choice of vacation spots, it wouldn’t really be a vacation, would it? if this were just some big p.r. campaign, meaningless though it would be, do you think michelle would go for that? no. she wants a mother-fuckin vacation, and she wants it now, and she wants to go where she wants to go, not to where republicans want her to go.

    if you can refute a woman’s wish, i’m all ears. (really. i’d like to know. that would be an awesome, superhero-like ability. i’d take that over shooting rays out of my eyes any day. gets downright annoying.)

  • http://takeitorleaveit.typepad.com/ roger nowosielski

    I guess anything becomes a political issue insofar as Obama is concerned.

    We do live in interesting times, don’t we?

    Sorry, Joanne. Didn’t mean to impugn on your motives plugging for your home state.

  • http://drdreadful.blogspot.com Dr Dreadful

    Nobody has asked the obvious question yet.

    Which is this.

    Are we to expect further condemnatory articles from residents of the other 48 jilted states?

  • doug m

    Obama doing something good for America equates to Hitler doing something good for Jews? That has to be the most foolish thing I have read in ages. It would be funny if it didn’t reveal a tragically sad ignorance

  • http://takeitorleaveit.typepad.com/ roger nowosielski

    You said it. I’m sure there’s rhyme & reason there somewhere.

  • http://delibernation.com/blog/3 Silas Kain

    Stop for a moment and imagine the profundity of this year’s Obama Family Vacation. In the middle of it, just tens of miles away, Ted Kennedy dies. Now place the film reel in rewind.

    The JFK period ending in 1963 was BEFORE the Civil Rights Act. At the heart of the battle for Civil Rights were the Kennedys. And here we are this August weekend. An African American family is vacationing on Martha’s Vineyard. And the patriarch of that family happens to be President of the United States.

    On Saturday morning Senator Kennedy’s funeral will take place in Roxbury. For those of you who don’t know it, think Harlem with an Irish Catholic flavor. All four former Presidents will be there. Jimmy Carter. George H.W. Bush. Bill Clinton. George W. Bush. There they wil pay homage to a fallen patriot in a Roman Catholic Church in a racially charged neighborhood in Boston, Massachusetts. And there they will sit from Bubba to the whitest man in the world (W) and listen to the first African American President. What a fitting way to go. How some of us have indeed come full circle.

    That’s not a bad vacation for Barack Obama. That’s history.

  • http://joannehuspek.wordpress.com Joanne Huspek

    True, Silas. Do you think maybe his Vineyard vacation was planned to take advantage of the Kennedy thing? This is fodder for conspiracy theorists.

    I’m thinking it’s the red-headed stepchild thing. And yeah, the other 48 should get on the ball and petition.

  • Clavos

    Do you think maybe his Vineyard vacation was planned to take advantage of the Kennedy thing?

    Not unless he helped hasten the Senator’s demise. The vacation was planned far in advance, and they would have had no way of knowing when the Senator would die.