Day Two of the First Family’s Very First Summer Vacation and all is well in the land. After all, it was a tough seven months and the presidential household needs time to rest, recoup and get it together. Besides the 2008 Hawaiian Christmas holiday is so far in the rear view that no one remembers it and the upcoming winter might be brutal.
Ah… I remember when I used to take real vacations, not unlike the Obamas. The last one was Christmas 2005 spent in a soggy San Francisco but we had a great time. But with two kids in college in the last four years, who has time or money to vay-cay? Time away from the office tends to be stolen in minutes or weekends carefully wedged in between day-to-day survival in challenging economic times.
So the Obama show moves to Martha’s Vineyard for the next couple of weeks. Le Prez even admonished his fevered worshippers to leave him alone. I’m all for that. I feel like I’ve seen him and his family walking around the house in their skivvies. They're here, they're there, they're everywhere. The man is grossly overexposed so a moratorium of sorts is right up my alley. As I’m fond of saying, “Hallelujah and pass the margaritas!”
When I think Martha’s Vineyard, I think money and pedigree. I also think lobster — which is my favorite food of all time and buckets of fried clams. However, the choice of the trendy island enclave is a mystery to me. It also leaves the little red-headed stepchild Michigan out in the cold.
Who is this Martha, and why does she get a Vineyard?
Who planned this summer getaway anyway?
What about the Mitten State?
Yeah, Michigan. I’m no native, but don’t mind tooting the horn. We have plenty of water, more freshwater shoreline than any other state. We have four of the five Great Lakes and lots of lesser ones inland. There is fishing and boating galore.
We’re third in the country in number of golf courses, with only California and Florida ahead of us. That’s if they’re not closed and overgrown or mowed under or suffering like Warwick Hills from a newly absent Buick Open. My husband can get a round of golf in for $25 or less on a weekday with a cart.
We have museums, history, music, lighthouses and symphonies. There’s a small theme park for the kids, or take a short drive to Cedar Point in Ohio. We have some great restaurants, establishments that rival those on the Big Left Coast (California) which I would be happy to point the First Family towards. And it’s all cheap, cheap!
The only thing we don’t have is fresh lobster and fried clams. Don’t eat the fish here (pollution) but save room for cherry pie because our cherries kick ass.
The best part about Michigan is due to the migration of the unwashed masses (i.e. the unemployed and disenfranchised) to other more lucrative states with stronger economies governed by politicians who really give a damn, we also have hardly any residents left, and so am able to maintain a certain level of privacy. Plus, there’s no such thing as getting caught in rush hour traffic anymore.
Not to be undone by the snobs on the Right Coast, our state also has a “Martha’s Vineyard” Bed and Breakfast in fashionably elitist South Haven on Michigan’s West (Lake Michigan) Coast. The upside is that it’s only a two-hour drive from downtown Chicago, our president’s former home. Check out the web site; the resort looks quite nice. I’d stay there myself, if I could find the time and could afford it.
I would even offer up my own humble home for the Obamas, seeing that I’m not able to get any Gitmo detainees. (Back off, Standish, I was in line first.) It’s not a mansion but I like it. We have three vacant bedrooms and the bathroom features a Jacuzzi tub. Here they can feast on fresh tomatoes, basil and mozzarella and enjoy the peacefulness of my Asian garden.
I am totally irritated. President Obama must not have caught one of those “Pure Michigan” ads that have been peppered on airwaves all over the lower 48. Narrated by one-time Michigander, actor and comedian Tim Allen, in a voice grandfatherly and kind, the ads feature dewy shots of golf courses, yachts cruising the Great Lakes, the sun rising on downtown Detroit, fall colors tours and winter sports. Not since the Coca-Cola commercials of the early 1970s where fresh-faced hippies joined hands and told us how they would like to teach the world to sing have I been left so touched and misty-eyed, and I have a critical eye when it comes to commercials. Millions of (taxpayer) dollars were spent on those ads, damn it, and we couldn’t even snag the Leader of the Free World and his family for his summer vacation?
Don’t feel badly, Tim Allen. Jeff Daniels is having an equally hard time getting any businesses to relocate to Michigan. Michigan, the Upper Hand? My eye.
You’d think after the recent chummy love fest between the US auto industry and the Beltway boys, the President would continue to spread the love around to the rest of the state. We’re down and out in the Rust Belt and the state that looks like a hand could use a hand.
I guess the love just doesn’t extend beyond Democrats and UAW members.