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First Date Etiquette

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Secret: Don’t get too comfortable on a first date!

You are out on a first date with a guy and it’s going great. You are both asking and answering questions. He tells you he’s having a good time. You tell him the same. At the end of the night he tells you he’ll speak to you soon. You tell him you can’t wait and you separate. You start thinking about your next date and planning your relationship. He never calls you again. What went wrong?

There absolutely is such a thing as proper etiquette for a first date, and many women usually get it wrong. Here are the top five most common mistakes women make on a first date:

1. Offering Too Many Opinions

Remember, when you meet someone for the first time, you are strangers and owe each other common courtesy and space. Even if you think the date is going really well, it doesn’t mean you should be offering him advice or telling him what to do.

If he tells you something about himself that you don’t like or agree with, don’t offer any suggestions or opinions about it. Think about how hard it is to hear criticism from your friends or family. Would you want a total stranger criticizing you? Don’t think so!

2. Revealing Too Much About Yourself

If you like your first date, then you need to do everything you can to make sure there is a second one. You don’t have full control over this, but you can help influence his mind. Revealing too much about yourself too soon will only give him reasons to judge you too soon.

Women sometimes have the mentality that the man will like them if only he knows “this” about them. Truth is it’s easy to get a wrong idea or jump to conclusions on a first date. What you reveal about yourself may not be heard the way you intend it to be heard. He doesn’t know you yet so all the little facts about why you’re so wonderful may not be all that obvious to him.

3. Forming Instant Expectations

Women have the tendency to have unreasonable expectations of their men. This only leads to disappointment and arguments when their expectations aren’t met. It is even worse if you start having expectations of a man you’ve only just met. He will sense instant pressure from you and will get immediately turned off.

Do not start talking about the next time you see each other, how you can’t wait to take him to your friend’s party next week, or how much fun he will have taking up one of your hobbies. Let things flow naturally. Not sure at what pace to take it? Then follow his lead.

4. Drinking Too Much
Whether you’re having dinner at a nice restaurant or just meeting up for a drink at the bar, the same rule applies: do not drink too much! You are meeting someone for the first time and you want to make a good impression.

Don’t start throwing back martinis just because he’s paying for them. It might be fun to get trashed with your friends. They might even think you’re funnier and more fun when you drink, but to a complete stranger you’ll only risk looking like a total fool. That’s a risk you want to avoid if you’re trying to make a good impression.

If you’re looking for a one-night stand then go ahead and act like a fool if you want. He’ll be happy to take you home with him no matter what you say or how you behave. Just don’t expect him to call you the next day.

5. Getting Too Comfortable

This is your answer for all of your “What did I do wrong?” questions. It’s easy to get too comfortable, especially if you’re drinking and enjoying yourself. Don’t let yourself slip. If you get too comfortable, you’re bound to reveal something that will turn him off!

A first date is kind of like an after-work work-party. Go ahead, have some fun, and get to know your coworkers a little better. However, don’t have so much fun that you start sharing all kinds of personal information because next thing you know, everyone is discussing chocolate syrup fetish first thing Monday morning.

The same goes for a first date. Good rule of thumb: don’t share anything on a first date that you wouldn’t share with a co-worker or a complete stranger.

Follow these simple tricks, and I guarantee all your future dates will be off to a good start!

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About Ani Ram