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First Date Dangers

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When the idea of a “first date” comes to mind, most people think of the clichés of sweaty hands, awkward silence, and innocent jitters. Unfortunately in today’s society, those clichés are outdated. Some of the most obvious concerns of first dates are easily overlooked. In a world of kidnappings, date rape drugs, and drunk driving, a girl has a lot more to worry about than just an awkward goodnight kiss.

Imagine you are out at a bar and you meet a seemingly nice young man. You exchange numbers and a few days later, he has asked you out on date. He offers to pick you up and you accept his offer because he is simply being a gentleman, right? In an ideal situation, that would be the case. However, what many women fail to realize is that they are setting themselves up for the most vulnerable situation possible.

Number one, the minute this man pulls up to your front door, he knows where you live. Let’s hope he is not the stalker type. Number two, you are about to get in a car with someone you have only met once. You’d better hope he really is taking you to that nice restaurant he mentioned on the phone. Number three, you’d better hope the date goes well, because unless you brought cash for a cab, you have to stick it out with him until he is ready to bring you home

This may seem like a cynical approach to dating, but when it comes to your own safety, you can never be too careful. One can compare having your own transportation on a first date to a prenuptial agreement. Since 50 percent of marriages in the U.S. end in failure, most couples sign prenups so that they are protected. Consider your car your “pre-nup.” It’s your security in case the date ends badly.

Now imagine you have “safely” made it to the dinner portion of your date. Instead of worrying about whether the food you order will end up stuck in your teeth, maybe you should be keeping a close watch on your drink. Most women will find themselves nervously gulping down water, or maybe even wine for that matter. At some point you are going to get up for a trip to the ladies’ room. Is your date trustworthy enough to be left alone with your drink? A smart person never leaves her drink unattended while out at a bar on Saturday night, so how is this situation any different? It’s not. In fact, while you are powdering your nose in the bathroom it would be all too easy for a creep to slip a “roofie” into your drink while you’re gone.

Now imagine that you’ve enjoyed your dinner and he invites you up to his apartment for a drink. You notice his physical features. He may or may not be a huge guy, but he is still just that – a guy. He is most likely stronger than you. If you go up there alone and encounter a situation you are not ready for, will you be able to safely get yourself out of it? He may be cute, but don’t let yourself become dumbstruck. Think ahead before making these decisions. You could always suggest getting coffee at a café if you aren’t ready for the night to end.

The moral of the story: do not be afraid to assert yourself. Look for red flags ahead of time. If he was drinking when you first met him at the bar, it is safe to assume that he may drink on the date. Don’t plan on riding with him. A respectable guy will appreciate your showing your independence. If he acts like a jerk when you decline to go “upstairs” after dinner, then he is absolutely not worth your time. You can dump him and know that you are one frog closer to your Prince Charming.

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About Jennifer Stuart

  • this article seems way to accusitory of men. I will always pick up the female on the first date (assuming my car runs and she is fine with that) and drink, but in moderation. However, any implication that i would abuse her or act uncouthly is quite insulting.

    Very few men are assholes, but you seem to think that they all are

  • Thai

    “Consider your car your “pre-nup””: I actually think that kind of advice is fair enough – I’ve been on enough strange dates and over the years learned to take certain precautions, both in America and Thailand (where i currently live). With all due respect to Robert Barga, as I know there are indeed good men out there that do not pull this kind of thing on women – as a single, independent woman you can never take enough precautions, because unfortunately, you can not assume that every single man you meet is made equal. Women have to protect themselves, and that includes exercising common sense precautions such as those detailed in this article, even if it seems to go “overboard” to the male half of the readership.