How can I attain the honest, loving, stable relationship that I need and long for?
Getting close to me is tough, I know, especially after two failed marriages. However, I remain hopeful in spite of this. Bar scenes are difficult at best and I find small talk useless and boring. It makes me wonder if there are people left with any depth to them.
What about me do I need to change?
Wants To Believe In Love
Hell yes, there are people with depth. There are scads of them. Let’s see. How many people are on this planet, anyway – 6.5 billion? Yeah. And a good percentage of them have some depth, I am sure. And further, they want the exact same thing you do. To connect, that is… so what’s the problem?
Well, with Venus in Virgo (perfectionist) in the 11th house and Neptune conjunct your Sun in Libra, your chart suggests you are looking for some perfect ideal in a relationship. And if this is what you’re up to, then disappointment and disillusionment is a given.
Now I don’t want to upset you, but I’m going take this apart for you because if someone doesn’t, I don’t know how you’re going to solve this. Hopefully I won’t upset that Scorpio Moon of yours, but if so, I stand ready to duck! ::smiles::
It’s your Venus in Virgo that looks at the entire population and wonders if it’s flawed. You know – no one has any depth, damn peons!
And then you say you’re hard to get near. Well come on. Why is that? If you want to connect, then open up! If you have trouble opening up, whose fault is that?
And what about the bars? Quit going to them! You’re in your fifties! Hit the online personals, like everyone else.
And small talk? If you don’t like it, don’t participate. You’re wasting your time when you do! And Virgo hates that! It’s inefficient! Getting the picture here? I haven't made small talk since I was eight years old. These things are within your control!
I think it will help if you get off the pity pot and forgive yourself for the failed marriages. Most people have one (or more) by the time they hit fifty, and the obvious conclusion is this: very few people are meant to hook up with another person for a fifty-year stint. Should you punish yourself because you’re in the majority? That makes no sense.
One more thing: You mention, “lasting.” Well if I was looking at this chart and you were twenty-years-old and telling me you wanted a “lasting relationship,” I would think “good luck with that…” right before I snorted. You don’t have that kind of chart! But now?
Well now you’re old enough, perhaps mature enough you can accept not just your own foibles, but your partner’s flaws as well. And Virgo, Leonard Cohen says it best:
“There’s a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in…”
Think about that, then get out there with a revamped attitude and I bet you'll find the man.