There’s facts afloat and a bounty of books about finding passion. No, I’m not referring to the passion between two people. What I’m referring to is the passion that one gets when doing something they love.
I was a dabbler of sorts, such that I dabbled in photography, sewing, drawing, painting, etc. and eventually my interest would fizzle out – me getting bored with it. Now I don’t know if I was looking for a passion in those meagre endeavours, but back in November, 2009, a passion found me and revealed itself in such a way, that it rendered my ability to ignore it, useless.
It was on a weekend and I was puttering around the house, doing nothing particularly important, when a pattern of words began to construct into a sentence, then another, then another, until it was a complete perfect paragraph. I tried to push those words to the back of my mind, but they always resurfaced to the forefront, insisting they be revisited over and over again. It wasn’t until the end of that week that I finally understood what that simple paragraph was… It was the last chapter to a story that had yet to be written and the moment I came to realize it, was the moment the real craziness began.
I had never written a word in my life, nor thought about, yet I found myself in a different world of sorts, surrounded by characters who were telling me their stories and how their lives intertwined. As the words burst forward into my mind, it became clear that the story was not going to unfold through the normal course. It began at the end, then continued working its way back until the beginning was the last to be written. Not only that, the chapters presented themselves backwards as well, revealing the outcome prior to how that outcome came to be. Though it was an unorthodox way to write, my characters somehow knew that if they had introduced themselves in a different way, I wouldn’t have listened and their story would never have been told and I most certainly would never have embarked on this wonderful journey of self-discovery.
The story unfolded quickly in the opposite direction until it was completed in my mind. Then and only then, was I finally able to light up the keyboard and let their story flow. No, I didn’t physically write it backwards, I did start from the beginning. However, I wouldn’t have been able to start there, if I hadn’t let the story consume my psyche for the time that it had. The words swept across the computer screen easily, causing me to get more and more excited with each chapter written, wanting the world to read it and upon completion, it became apparent that their story wasn’t over. Another ending materialized, a continuation of the first story, again presenting itself in reverse. It seems my creativity defies normalcy, because there are others now and so far all are entering the stage from the back end.
It took a cast of characters insisting that I write their story backwards for me to discover that passion does exist, it can be found in the most unlikely of places and even sometimes it finds you. There are numerous definitions for passion in the dictionary, however for me, the definition for passion… is writing.